Unintended Consequences
by Lord of Kavaka
Summary: Kahlan relented to her duties and returned to Aydindril after the events of MARKED 2x01 . Richard reunites with her 5 months later, but things have changed that may destroy their love. -Goes AU from MARKED-Part 1 in the CONSEQUENCES series-
1. A Difficult Reunion

**TITLE:** Unintended Consequences  
**AUTHOR:** Lord of Kavaka  
**CHARACTERS:** Richard/Kahlan  
**RATING:** T... for now.  
**TIMELINE:** Post-MARKED  
**STORY TYPE:** Angst/Romance  
**SPOILERS:** Anything from Season 1 & 2.  
**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own them, and I make no profit.  
**SUMMARY:** Kahlan relented to her duties and returned to Aydindril after the events of MARKED 2x01 . Richard and Kahlan reunite five months later, but things have changed that may destroy their love. And the Seeker's quest may not be over. (Goes AU from MARKED)  
**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: This story goes AU from MARKED onwards. This one will have shorter chapters (roughly around 1000 words), so I can hopefully update quicker. For those reading THE CHIMES TOLL A FIRESTORM, don't worry, I'll still working on that one. This is just to keep me fresh, so I don't grow bored.

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**Chapter 1 – A Difficult Reunion**

It had been the most difficult thing she had ever done… leaving him, that is. But she had no choice, and he had insisted. She could never refuse him, not when he looked at her with those big warm brown eyes, pleading with her to do as he told her. So, Kahlan did what was expected of her, she returned to Aydindril and did her duty as the Mother Confessor of the Midlands. She helped restore the peace as Richard and Zedd, along with Cara the Mord'Sith, went out searching for the Stone of Tears to seal the rift and stop the Keeper of the Underworld.

All the while, Kahlan sat in Aydindril and read reports, desperate for any news about Richard. He had been out there fighting banelings, screelings, and spirits know what else. Sometimes, alone at night, Kahlan would cry herself to sleep worrying about him. She hated being stuck in Aydindril, feeling useless, but there was nothing she could do. He was the Seeker and she… she was his Confessor. And she loved him. Kahlan would do whatever he said. She would obey his commands to her dying breath.

Zedd had predicted a long hunt, knowing that it was near impossible to find something as rare as the Stone of Tears, but that is not what had happened. Apparently, without her around to distract him from his quest, the Seeker located the Stone of Tears and sealed the rift in just five months. Kahlan had a sinking feeling that if she had been with him it would have taken longer. But now it was all over. The balance between the world of the living and the world of the dead had been restored and the Seeker was on his way to his Confessor.

The news of his return had sent waves of jubilation through the citizens of Aydindril. The Seeker was not just the man who had sealed the rift and saved them all from the cold embrace of the Keeper, but had also defeated Darken Rahl and had freed the Midlands from his iron fist. Kahlan tried to join in on the cheer, but she found it difficult. She had received word that before they had managed to defeat Rahl, the fiend had sent his most loyal Mord'Sith out to Valeria, where in a botched attempt to kidnap Dennee's son, they had killed them all: Her sister, her nephew, and her sister's mate.

Kahlan was alone. She was the last confessor. There was no one else to continue the line, only her. And it pained her to know that Richard could never be the man the seeded her womb. To even attempt it would risk confessing him, and that was not a risk she was willing to take. Though she cried over her sister's loss, she wept more from the knowledge that she could never be with Richard as a wife was with a husband. That was more terrible than anything, knowing that she could never give herself to the man she loved.

Presently, she stood on the balcony looking out at the city below, watching as an impromptu procession formed around the Seeker and his party. Despite their distance, Kahlan could clearly see Richard, the brilliance of the Sword of Truth hard to miss as it glimmered in the afternoon sunlight. Beside him, tall and scrawny, despite the fact that he ate like a pig, was the First Wizard himself, Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander, the closest Kahlan had ever had to a grandfather like figure. And then there was Cara. She stood out like a sore thumb in her red leather, and Kahlan felt her face flush with jealousy as she noticed how close the Mord'Sith rode to Richard.

Kahlan would never have admitted it aloud, but that had been one of her greatest fears the moment she had left their group. She was afraid that, without her there to be on guard, Richard would succumb to the blatant seductiveness of the Mord'Sith. She had seen the way Cara looked at Richard and it caused her much grief to think of them alone together without Zedd as a chaperone. Sure, the wizard had been on his the tips of his toes with her and Richard, but Kahlan was not sure how he might have been with Cara. With the Mord'Sith there was no risk that Richard's soul would be lost in confession. Lost in lust, maybe, but not confession.

She closed her eyes and tried to purge the images of Richard making love to Cara from her mind. They were just fears. She knew Richard loved her… but he was only a man. And men had urges. She knew it had been difficult for him burying his feelings for her, but they had had an understanding. When she had last seen him, Richard had took her hand in his and kissed it, swearing to return to her and find a way to love and be with her. However, things had changed since then. And they were things she did not care to think about. She only wished that he would still love her. That he would still burn with desire for her when he found out.

Biting her lower lips and furrowing her brow in worry, Kahlan turned from the view and went into her chambers to change into the long white robes she had taken to wearing. She walked down the hallways, looking at the portraits and tapestries that adorned their walls, making her feet move, yet not really there. Kahlan reached the foyer and stood in the center of the marble columns that surrounded her and waited.

The doors opened and the clamor of cheers and applause drifted through the rafters, echoing around her. Kahlan felt small and insignificant surrounded by the massive marble statuary of the ancient confessors. She was nothing compared to them. She was weak and powerless. Nothing more than a coward. Magda Searus, the first Mother Confessor, had found a way to be with the man she loved—the Wizard Merrit, the man who had turned her into a confessor. But Kahlan, no, she had been too stupid and dim to discover that wondrous truth.

Blinking her eyes to hold back her tears, Kahlan looked up to see Richard stepping through the door, surrounded by light. Spirits, he looked like an avenging demigod coming to punish her for her cowardice, because in truth, that's how she felt. She felt like a coward that she had not stood up to _them_ and had instead relented to _their_ demands. Flanking him, on either side, were Zedd and Cara. The old wizard grinned broadly and rushed to give her a big grandfatherly hug.

"It is good to see you, dear one," he smiled, wrapping his long arms around her. As he pulled her tight, he frowned, knitting his eyebrows together. Kahlan could tell from his expression that he knew, but thankfully he kept silent.

When he stood back, he looked down at her and gave an understanding nod, knowing that she had little choice. Richard was standing back, watching, oblivious to her inner grief, she hid it well behind her confessor's face. Kahlan looked up at him, wishing that nothing had changed, that he would simply rush to her and pull her into his arms, kissing her and declaring his undying and unending love. But he did not. They had not parted on the best of terms, but they had stilled said those three words: I love you.

Shifting her focus, Kahlan turned to the Mord'Sith and nodded. "Thank you for protecting the Seeker, Cara," she said. "I had my doubts, but you seem to have surpassed my expectations."

Cara gave a slight nod to acknowledge the compliment and pursed her lips. _Spirits_, Kahlan thought, _she knows_! Taking a deep breath, she finally turned to Richard, again, wishing things could be different.

"Richard," Kahlan spoke, hating how weak her voice sounded.

"Kahlan," he replied, looking at her with his big warm brown eyes. She lost her breath, seeing the love still reflecting back. He averted his eyes and raked his hands through his hair. "It… it's good to see—"

Kahlan stepped forward, wanting to embrace him, but as she did, her robes parted and revealed the secret she had been trying to hide. Richard's eyebrows rose, and his eyes grew wide and watery. He backed away, stumbling, staring in dismay at her swollen belly.


	2. Solitude and Grief

**Chapter 2 – Solitude and Grief**

Richard felt like he had just been stabbed in the heart. This was not the reunion he had been hoping for. He had spent five months traipsing across the Midlands, fighting banelings and screelings… and for what? To return to his love and find out that she'd been with another… and was carrying his child! All the elation he had felt over defeating the Keeper and sealing the rift vanished in a heartbeat as he stared in horror at Kahlan's swollen belly. He furrowed his brow in dismay and pain, struggling to even look at her.

When he did finally look up, he saw anguish in her face. She looked just as heartbroken and grief stricken as he was. Yet her eyes still held that spark of love for him. However, all that seemed moot now. He could not help but gaze upon her enlarged belly, knowing what it meant, what she had done to get in that condition. He stumbled back and clenched his jaw, trying not to cry. Kahlan made a move to step closer, but he backed away, utterly horrified and dazed, not knowing what to do or think. Kahlan reached out for him, her eyebrows coming together in sorrow and regret.

Richard turned and dashed away, rushing out the doors. He did not know where he was going, but he had to get away. No matter how much he loved Kahlan, he could not handle this situation. Not now. Not after everything he had sacrificed, everything he had been through to return to her. Being out of her eyesight gave him the strength to finally let go and sob. The tears rolled down his face as the pain in his heart seeped out and spread throughout his entire body, leaving him numb and blind to the world around him.

Stumbling around, Richard wandered into the gardens behind the Confessor's Palace. He looked around, feeling hollow and empty inside, unaware of the beauty around him. Minutes ago, he would have found this place relaxing and calming his rack nerves. But the lush foliage and wildflowers had no appeal to him right now. They reminded him of Kahlan… of her beauty. He closed his eyes and felt the hot tears streak down his cheeks. Raking his fingers through his hair, he inhaled deeply, shuddering with each breath. He felt like crawling away to some dark hole in the ground and dying. He had never felt so miserable in his entire life.

Finding a place to hide proved easier than he thought. He located a wayward pine and pushed past the branches. Richard squirmed inside and sat down, resting his back against the trunk of the tree. Pulling his knees up and hugging his legs, he lowered his head and grieved. His chest tightened, as all he seemed to be able to think about was her. Her face, her eyes, her hair, her lips, and her skin… everything about her flashed into his mind. And the bulge he saw in her midsection marred it all.

Gasping, he looked up feeling warm sunlight filter across his face. He squinted, narrowing his eyes, trying to make out who it was that was intruding on his solitude. And then he saw her. Spirits, why did she have to come after him. She was the last person he wanted to see right now. Didn't she know he was going to need some time to digest all this? Oh, why didn't she just leave him alone? Kahlan stopped at the opening, hesitating for a moment, before stepping further inside and allowing the branches to close behind her. She cautiously made her way over to him, standing before him, making sure to hold her robes around herself to hide her baby bump.

Richard's face contorted in torment and he turned away from her, not wanting her to see him in this state. Kahlan placed a hand over her swelled belly and eased down to the ground before him. Folding her legs, she sat there with a sorrowful look on her face. She did not speak or reach out for him; she just sat there as he wept silently. He did not know how long they sat there in soundlessness, but it seemed like an eternity.

Kahlan's brow furrowed and she lowered her head. Her raven black hair cascaded down around her face, as she played with her hands over her lap. "Richard?" she broached cautiously. "Let… let me explain."

Richard jerked his head up and narrowed his eyes. "Explain? What's there to explain, Kahlan?" he choked. "You slept with another man!" Not yet finished, he waved his hand to silence her when she raised her head to respond. "I know… there was no future for us, but still… I thought you loved me? I thought you agreed to wait until I came back. That we would then together look for a way pass the barriers keeping us apart."

"Richard… I—"

"No," Richard cut her off, pushing himself up to his feet. "There's nothing to say. I know the truth now." He looked down at her and heaved in a deep breath, clenching his jaw as he tried to hold back his tears. "It was all a lie. You never loved me."

"No. Richard…," Kahlan began to protest, but he ignored her, rushing out of the wayward pine.

He ran, not caring where he went, just as long as he could be alone. That is all he wanted, to be alone. He had to think. He had to assimilate all that had happened. He was angry, hurt, and confused. Now was not a good time to speak with her. His emotions were in control and he did not want to do anything he would later regret. He had already spoken out of turn and said some things he had not intended.

But spirits, Richard felt betrayed and he felt right in having those feelings. She had slept with another man, granted he was most likely a confessed man, but still… he was another. While she had done that, Richard had been faithful, staving off the advances of Cara. He had to admit that the Mord'Sith was attractive, but not so much that she could distract him from his love for Kahlan. Since the moment he first met her and gazed into her eyes, he had been in love with the confessor. Even discovering the truth had not deterred him from loving her. And there had been a time when he was willing to risk confession to be with her. Spirits, he would have risked it anytime. And still would, if things had been different.

As he continued through the dense and lush flora of the garden, Richard lowered his hand and gripped the hilt of the Sword of Truth. Immediately he felt something he had never felt before. It tingled up his arm and down his shoulder, seeking out his heart. He lowered his brow, feeling his eyes sting with tears as the pain erupted in his very core. The torment he felt in his chest was unlike anything he had ever felt before. It was a righteous kind of pain, something to be cherished and nurtured.

It mixed and mingled with the grief and anguish that was already inside him, making it stronger. Then the anger came. It was glorious. He knitted his eyebrows together and arched his neck, looking over his shoulder at the wayward pine. He felt a powerful urge to go back. But to do what, he did not know. He clenched his teeth and breathed through his nostrils, relishing in the anger. It was pure and shameless. And he kindled it, allowing his stare to turn into a glare as the anger turned to hate.

"NO!" Richard growled, releasing his hold on the Sword of Truth and dropping to his knees. He held his hand up before his eyes, flexing his fingers. The pain subsided, but he was still left with a throbbing headache.

Richard lowered his head in his hands and sobbed, hating the thoughts and feelings the sword had given him. It had urged him to hurt Kahlan. To punish her for betraying him. But he could not do that. No matter how much he hated what she had done, he could never hurt her. He still loved her. He would always love her.

Rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands, Richard sniffled and suppressed the burning anger that flared up inside him. He would rather feel the anguish and torment of his grief than anything else. In a sick way, it reminded him that he was still alive. It was either suffer from the misery of the current situation or allow the hatred to fester inside him. And that was not something Richard wanted. He never wanted to feel any hate, especially directed at Kahlan.

Turning around, blinking, he looked at his surroundings, finally taking note of the beauty of the place. His shoulders slumped as he let out a heavy breath, remembering the last time he had been here. It had been when they had brought Kahlan back, and he had told her to stay here, that he wanted her safe. She had shaken her head and said she would be safe as long as she was with him, but he insisted she stay. And Kahlan had reluctantly agreed.

Now Richard regretted his insistence. He should have listened to her and not forced her into staying. Then perhaps none of this would have happened. He groaned and shook his head. It was no good dwelling on what ifs. What happened happened. Now he had to deal with the consequences of his decisions. He looked up at the trees and bushes around him, taking a deep breath, basking in the familiar feel of the wilderness. He had always felt at home in the woods.

Sitting down, he closed his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose, settling himself. Anger was not his way. The Seeker was a warrior for hope. Richard opened his eyes and let out a sigh of defeat. But what hope could there be without Kahlan in his life? He bit his lower lip and looked over his shoulder gazing back at the wayward pine, wondering if she was still there. He had been neglectful and selfish. She had come to him to explain, and he had ignored her like she had meant nothing to him. But that was a lie. Kahlan was everything to him.

Perhaps he should go back and listen. Then, afterwards, he would decide what to do. Taking a quick breath, he stood up and turned back to the wayward pine, determined to hear Kahlan's side of events before he did anything else.


	3. A Confessor's Anguish

**Chapter 3 – A Confessor's Anguish**

Kahlan sat there, numb in her anguished misery. She had never intended for any of this to happen. She should have never stayed behind. Now he hated her… and thought that her love for him was a lie. But that was not true; she did love him! She loved him so much that it ached inside that he was not the father of the child she was carrying. Kahlan knew she was being foolish to believe that he would understand. How could he? He had grown up in Westland, with no knowledge of the Midlands and confessors.

It had taken almost all she could muster to actually tell him the truth about her powers and how they prevented her from acting on her feelings. How, if they were together in that way, she would only end up destroying his soul by confessing him while in the throws of passion. And that was something she never wanted to do to Richard. Even having the chance to feel his love for her was not enough for her to even think about risking confession.

When he stood up and made his declaration, Kahlan could hardly look at him. Seeing the pain and heartbreak in his eyes was almost too much to bear. But she could not blame him. He had every right to be angry. She would not even mind if he hated her right now. She deserved nothing less. She had made a promise to wait for him, and she had not. Kahlan lowered her head and allowed the tears out. There was nothing for it. She had blown her one chance at true love. And why? Because the council had insisted she take a mate, and continue the line of confessors. And, she had relented and done so. Not because she wanted to, but because it was her duty. That's all it was, her duty.

She sobbed, remembering the day they brought the man to be confessed. Kahlan had allowed the council to pick her mate. If she could not have Richard, then she did not care who it was. She would never love that man like she loved Richard. He may be the father of her child, but she would never love him. How could she? He was nothing but a confessed man, who only loved her because he was confessed. Running her hands over the swell of her belly, Kahlan let the tears flow out, not caring how loud she was as she wailed in her agony at having lost Richard.

Then there came a stir from the branches. She sniffled and looked up, hoping beyond hope that it was her Richard. That he had come back to her. That… that he still loved her. But her hoping was all for not. When the branches parted she saw the short cropped blond hair and blue eyes of the man she had confessed and taken as a mate. His named was Dragen. He had been a captain in the D'Haran army. After Darken Rahl had been defeated, Dragen pulled his battalion together and attempted to seize control of Aydindril, but he had failed, was captured and imprisoned. The council chose him because he fit the qualifications for fathering a confessor. He was strong, intelligent, and young.

Kahlan looked away as he entered and knelt beside her. He only came to her because he was confessed. There would have been a time when Richard would have been the first to come to her when she was in pain, but she had ruined that. Dragen looked at her with concern and worry.

"What is the matter, Mother Confessor?" he asked, his voice filled with the love of a confessed man, false and unreal to her ears.

"Nothing," Kahlan managed to squeak out, not knowing why she bothered answering him. "It is none of your concern."

"But you are crying," he said, as he reached for her face to brush her tears away. "And you are the mother of my child."

Kahlan closed her eyes and sniffled, allowing him to touch her. Spirits, why did it matter? She had allowed this man to enter her and take her maidenhood. He was the father of her unborn child, of the next confessor. He was her mate. And Richard was not going to come. He was never going to come. That future—that possibility—no longer existed. It had all been a fantasy, one that could never be.

"Hold me," Kahlan commanded in a meek voice.

Dragen gave a nod, and wrapped his arms around her. She buried her head in his chest as she grieved for the love she had lost, having destroyed it by doing her duty. His hands tenderly ran up and down her back, soothing her. And then the unthinkable happened. The branches parted, light sprinkled in, and Kahlan shifted her head to look up, nearly screaming in horror when Richard entered.

He stopped in mid-step and his eyes grew wide. She could see the muscles of his jaw tense and his eyes begin to water with tears. Kahlan could hardly believe it. He had come back. But… Oh, why had he come back! Now he was seeing her being comforted in her grief by the very man who had played a part in causing the schism between them. Dragen stood, having sensed her unease, and glared at Richard. Kahlan let out a cry when she noticed that Dragen was a head taller than Richard and much more impressive in size and build. He was handsome as well, but Kahlan had never seen that.

"Leave my mistress alone!" growled Dragen, standing before Kahlan protectively. If Richard had not known that this was the man who had been with her, he did now.

Richard just stood there, his mouth gaping as the tears began to tumble down his face. Kahlan gasped. Spirits, she knew what he must be thinking; that she had found pleasure in Dragen's appearance and had enjoyed doing what was necessary to become with child. She furrowed her brow and raised her eyebrows in a futile attempt to hold back her own tears. Richard looked down at Kahlan, and she thought she could literally see his heart shattering into a million pieces before her eyes. His shoulders slumped and his expression dropped to one of a man who had been utterly defeated by his foes. The spark for life, which had always been in Richard's eyes, dimmed and faded away. He looked like a broken man. The last time Kahlan had seen Richard look this way was when he had been under Denna's agiel.

"I… I'm sorry, I should not have come back," he finally spoke, his voice thick with raw emotion, twisted in agony and grief with a pinch of anger. "I…," his eyes darted between Dragen and Kahlan. "I see that I was right. You no longer need me." He turned to leave, then added, in an angry huff, "You never needed me."

"No… Richard, wait!" Kahlan cried out, but it was too late, he was already gone.

Kahlan shivered in misery, hearing him say those words. He could not be further from the truth. She had always needed him. She had always wanted him. Even back when she had been afraid she might confess him, Kahlan had wanted Richard. She had dreamt sweet dreams of kissing him, of feeling his hands roam her body, of opening herself up to him and feeling the dull pain as he took that which was most precious to her. But that was all for not. She had given that to Dragen, and she didn't even love him.

Dragen returned to her side, placing his arms around her, as she wailed in the horror of it all. Richard had come back! Why, oh why did he come back? Did he still love her despite how she had betrayed him? It tormented her to no end not knowing. She wanted to know. Spirits, she had to know! Kahlan lowered her head, allowing her hair to fall down around her as she sobbed, convulsing with the racking cries that burst out of her. Even if Richard still loved her, she did not deserve it. She was unworthy of such love and devotion, especially after what she'd done. Not after she had spread her legs for Dragen. She felt dirty, as if she was nothing more than a common street harlot.

The confessed man tried to comfort her, but she would find no comfort in his arms. He may share her bed, but he would never share her heart. Despite the fact that he was confessed and had no freewill, and having done only what he was ordered to do by his confessor, Kahlan could never love Dragen. She would never feel anything for the father of her child, and part of her felt terrible admitting that. She wondered if her mother had felt anything for her own father. But how could her mother love such a monster? He had been so cruel and mean-spirited when he had been freed from confession, doing terrible things to his own daughters. Dragen would be no different. He was a D'Haran and a loyal officer to Darken Rahl. If he had not confessed at this moment, instead of trying to comfort her, he would be trying to kill her.

Kahlan pushed him away and gripped his shoulders for support as she stood up, placing one hand over her middle, almost cursing the child within for being conceived. She bit her lower lip and admonished herself, reminding herself that, though she may be guilty, the child was innocent. She had played no part in this, having never asked to be conceived. Kahlan moved away, wanting to get away from Dragen. She did not deserve comfort or consoling. Spirits, she didn't know if she even liked herself right now. Turning, holding her swelled belly in her hands, she commanded Dragen to leave her alone.

He gave a nod and said, "Yes, Mother Confessor." Kahlan watched as he left, pushing past the branches. Her lips trembled as she was rocked with the feelings of shame and guilt. She deserved to be left alone with nothing but her anguish over what she'd done.


	4. Rash Decisions

**Chapter 4 – Rash Decisions**

Richard darted away, rushing through the foliage of the lush garden, shoving away branches and ferns that got in his way. If he was destroying the beauty of the place, he did not care. The one woman he had ever loved had just ripped his heart out of his chest and tore it to pieces. Spirits, how could he ever love again after this? Kahlan had been more precious to him than his own life… he would even have died for her, if need be.

Now, he stomped away, growling and cursing the day he had met her. Richard asked himself why he had even stood up to those D'Harans. They had warned him, telling him that she was a devious witch, but he had not listened. And as a result of siding with her, he had not only lost his father and brother, but his heart, as well. She took it, claiming to feel the same, but she did not. It was all a lie. A sweet wonderful lie that he now wished he had never believed.

Richard then proceeded to curse his grandfather for naming him the Seeker of Truth. If he hadn't been the Seeker, then maybe Kahlan would have been willing to risk confession to be with him. No, he shook his head. She didn't want him; it was all so painfully obvious. He had just seen the man she had chosen as a mate. So now he had seen what sort of man Kahlan wanted. And it was obviously not him. Kahlan had selected a man much more impressive than him in size and build, and he had felt small when the confessed man had stood at his full height before him and demanded he leave his mistress alone. No doubt that is what Kahlan had told him to do.

Well, Richard was more than happy to accommodate them on that request. In fact, there was no reason for him to remain here in Aydindril. His sole purpose for coming here no longer existed. And since the Midlands were now safe, and there was nothing threatening the people any more, Richard could hang up his shoes, so to speak, and go home. He rammed through the back door of the palace intent on finding Zedd. He went back to the foyer and saw Cara leaning against one of the stone pillars, awaiting his return. The Mord'Sith straightened at his appearance and her eyes registered the change in his mood. Lowering his brow, he stalked over to her and asked where Zedd was.

"He went to the kitchens," Cara spoke with a smirk.

He gave a nod, thinking that he should have known. His grandfather always thought with his stomach. Clenching his teeth, he turned and then stopped, realizing he had no idea where the kitchens were. Cara stepped up beside him, and looked over, her eyebrows knitting together in concern. Despite the fact he had thwarted every single one of her advances, they had still grown close and he considered her a friend. Now he was thinking that there had been no reason to resist her. He almost wished he had given in and sampled the pleasures that came from being with the Mord'Sith, who kept insisting that along with being schooled in dealing out pain, she had been taught the arts of giving pleasure. And then she would always add that Mord'Sith were renowned throughout the rank and file of the D'Haran army for their voracious sexual appetites.

"Do you know where the kitchens are?" he asked her, suppressing his thoughts, and hoping that they did not show on his face.

Cara inclined her head. "The wizard made me go with him," she said, starting off towards one of the many openings within the great hall. Richard followed. "He thought that you and the Mother Confessor needed some alone time," she added hesitantly, glancing at him with a concerned look. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine!" he growled, lying.

Cara gave an unconvinced nod, but remained silent. They walked on, passing servants who stopped and bowed their heads to Richard. He ignored them and could only think that all these people had known the truth of what was going on and that none of them had seen fit to warn him. He narrowed his eyes, wondering if Zedd had known something like this was going to happen. Richard did not know how he would react if that was the case. He had always trusted Zedd, but how could he if Zedd had kept this from him.

Turning a corner, they saw a large opened archway that led to the kitchen. He could see scullions darting hither and thither about their menial tasks. Cara slowed and stopped at the threshold, standing guard, as Richard ducked inside the busy kitchens of the Confessor's Palace. After searching around the many cutting tables and hearths, he found his grandfather sitting on a stool next to one of the small cooking tables, talking with an elderly cook with curly silvery hair tied into a tight bun on top of her round face.

"Ah, Richard," Zedd looked up smiling, oblivious to the pain his grandson was in. "This pretty young thing is Miss Elisa Sanderholt. She's been the head cook at the Confessor's Palace for... well, it's been quite a long time, hasn't it?"

"Pretty young thing, really, Zedd?" the cook said, smiling at the wizard. "You think that's going to make me forget the fifteen hundred coins you still owe me?

"Fifteen hundred!" hooted Zedd. "If I remember correctly, it was only fifty." Then a lazy smile grew across his face and he gazed down at the comely cook. "However, I do remember what we did after the card game."

"I'm sure you do," Elisa replied, raising a mischievous eyebrow. "I always thought there was another reason you came to my kitchen besides for free food."

Zedd grinned and chuckled. "Yes, but why fifteen hundred, Elisa?"

"I've included twenty five years of interest," she answered, smiling cheerily.

Zedd laughed and winked boyishly at his lady friend, pinching her bottom playfully. She smirked at him and went back to her tasks. Richard closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose, growing impatient.

"ZEDD!" he nearly shouted. "We need to talk. NOW!"

His grandfather's expression dropped to one of sympathetic understanding, as if he had known all along why his grandson had come to him. Excusing himself, and promising to pay Elisa back in more ways than one, Zedd stood up from the stool and walked over to Richard, placing a hand on his shoulder and guiding him over to a corner where they could speak in some privacy.

"What is it, my boy?" he inquired, though Richard suspected the old conjurer already knew the answer.

"Kahlan, what else?" he grumbled.

"Ah, yes, Kahlan," Zedd said, nodding sagely. "Did you speak with her?"

"No," Richard seethed. "How can I when she rushes to the arms of her mate for comfort!"

"Oh," Zedd raised his eyebrows, looking surprised. "So you met him."

"Yes," Richard huffed. "And it was clear how she felt about the whole thing." He paused, breathing deeply through his nostrils before continuing. "Look, Zedd, I don't know nor to I want to know if you knew this was going to happen… all I want is to tell you that I'm going back home."

"Home?" queried Zedd, looking perplexed.

"Yes, home," Richard stabbed the air with his finger. "You know, Hartland. There's no reason for me to stay here. You can do what you want, Zedd, but I'm going back." He reached down and detached the scabbard from his belt, holding it up to the wizard. "Here, take this back. I no longer want to be Seeker… and besides, there is no need for one."

Zedd knitted his bushy eyebrows together and reluctantly took the sword back, holding it at his side. "What do you plan on doing, Richard?" he asked, after letting out a heavy sigh.

"I don't know," Richard admitted, shrugging. "I might go to Ten Oaks first and pick up Jennsen. She's my sister... and we… we need each other. Maybe we'll build a cabin along Trunt Lake and finally be a family." He shifted and looked down. "You're welcomed to come, Zedd. After all, you are our grandfather."

"Kind of you to offer," Zedd said. "But I'm the First Wizard. I have responsibilities to the Midlands. The Order of the Wizards needs to be restored." He frowned. "I'm disappointed though that you seem so determined to give up."

"Give up?" scoffed Richard. "I'm not giving up, Zedd. I think it's pretty clear what's important to her."

"And what's that?" his grandfather asked.

Richard growled, growing tired of the wizard's game. "You know very well what, Zedd!" he glared at his grandfather.

"Richard, my boy," Zedd said, placing a hand on his shoulder, trying to reassure him. "Life doesn't always take us to where we want to go. Sometimes the road is a little rockier than we'd like. However, it is not the path we are traveling that defines us, it is how we react to the obstacles and challenges we encounter that truly tests our character."

"No, Zedd, enough!" Richard shoved his wrinkled hand off his shoulder and backed away. "I'm sick and tired of your lessons and riddles. I hate them! I don't want to be the Seeker, and I certainly don't want to have anything to do with the Midlands any more. I've done my bit for king and country, I'm going home and that's final! Do what you like, you always have!"

Richard turned and stormed off, leaving a stunned Zedd in his wake. Cara looked up when he emerged from the kitchen and immediately jumped to follow. He looked at her and scowled.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"I'm coming with you," she stated firmly.

"I'm not going to go become the Lord Rahl, Cara," he said. "I'm going home… to Westland."

"Then that's where I'm going," Cara insisted.

Richard stopped and looked at her. Out of everyone, she was the only one who seemed to understand. He reached out and pulled the startled Mord'Sith into a hug. After a moment's hesitation, Cara relaxed and eased into his hold, returning his embrace. For a split second, Richard thought he felt the stirrings of something more than friendship in her hug, and in his own as well, as he felt her breasts press against his chest. Clenching his jaw, and backing away, he moved his hands up to her shoulders and looked into her blue eyes.

"All right, then," he said. "You're coming. Now, let's go fetch Jennsen and be on our way."

Turning, Richard and Cara walked out of the Confessor's Palace together and retrieved their horses from the stables. As he tightened the notches on the saddlebags, Richard glanced over his shoulder and looked up at the marble façade. His eyes scanned the gleaming windows and high terraces. Then his eyes stopped, spotting her. She stood on a large balcony looking down at him, her hands resting over her swollen belly. Richard gritted his teeth and held back his tears. It was over, there was no point dwelling on what might have been. He had a future to look forward to, one which centered on family and friends, on people who cared about him… on people who would never lie or betray him.

Mounting his horse, he turned to Cara to see if she was ready. When she gave a nod, he kicked his legs and sent his horse galloping down the causeway. His Mord'Sith companion was not far behind. As they rode through the streets of Aydindril, Richard kept his emotions in check and wore a blank expression. It was not until they were well past the city gates, and on their way to Ten Oaks, that Richard began to sob for the possible future he was leaving behind.


	5. Love and Confession

**Chapter 5 – Love and Confession**

She stood there watching as he left, feeling the tears as they manifested in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. All she could do was sob as she watched the man she loved leave Aydindril. She didn't know what hurt more, that he was leaving without ever really talking with her, or the fact that he had left with Cara. But there was nothing she could do to change it. Kahlan placed her hands over her swollen belly, feeling her child kick within, no doubt sensing her mother's distress and turmoil. She bit her lower lip and looked down. It was her own fault. She should never have agreed to the council's demands. She should never have given in to her duty when her heart had advised her otherwise.

The fact that Dragen had come to comfort his mistress in the wayward pine had not helped matters. She could tell that Richard had come back to listen to her, but having the confessed man… her mate, the man she had opened herself for, had been too much for the Seeker to bear. Kahlan suspected that it had been at that moment that Richard's heart had broke, shattering into pieces, and all reason had left him. It was the Wizard's Second Rule, Zedd informed her later. Passion rules reason. But the passion that was currently in command of Richard's reason was a passion of anger, not a passion of love for her.

Kahlan furrowed her brow in grief, suspecting that, if she could never speak with Richard again, she might have to resign herself to this new life she had forced upon them; a life where Richard did not love her. When he had first found out from Denna that they could not be together because of her powers, she had been heartbroken, half wanting that it was not true. But she had to tell him the truth. She did not want him wasting away for a love he could never have. But then, spirits, then she had fallen for him. And it was clear that he was not yet ready to give up on her.

She closed her eyes, hating herself. Richard had never given up hope that someday they could find a way. Kahlan guessed that she had never truly believed it could be possible, and that that might be one of the reasons she had given in so easily when the council asked her to take a mate.

Kahlan stiffened, hearing footsteps. She sniffled and tried to hide the evidence of her crying, but it was useless. Her eyes were red and puffy; the evidence would not go away. It never would. Her grief was eternal and boundless. And her present condition only heightened said emotions. Arching her neck, she looked over her shoulder and saw Zedd walking through the chambers towards her. He parted the satin curtains and cautiously stepped out onto the balcony.

"How are you doing?" Zedd inquired, giving her a sympathetic smile, though she could not help but notice that he had left out his affectionate endearment of "dear one." She could not blame him. Being Richard's grandfather, he must feel some vexation at her for causing his grandson so much pain.

"I… I'm fine, Zedd," Kahlan replied, turning back around and wiping her face, gazing out at Aydindril and wishing she had never returned.

Zedd locked his hands behind his back and paced back and forth behind her, arching an eyebrow, unconvinced. "Richard was right about one thing," he said. "For a confessor, you're not that very good at telling a lie."

Kahlan sucked in a breath and lowered her brow in desolation. Why was Zedd tormenting her like this? Was this her punishment for breaking Richard's heart? She swallowed past a lump in her throat and turned to face the wizard. "I love him, Zedd," she declared.

"Who?" Zedd asked, as if he truly did not know whom she meant.

"Richard!" Kahlan wailed. "I love him, Zedd, and look what I've done! I've betrayed him!"

"It wasn't like you two were ever a couple, Kahlan," Zedd said, knitting his eyebrows together. "It was not like you two had a future. But still, to lead him on like that… it was not very wise," and then he added, almost in an angry growl, "or kind."

"I know…. I know," she groaned, hugging herself in anguish. "I should have buried my feeling deep inside where they could never harm him." She paused and heaved out a heavy sigh of sorrow and grief. "I… I just never expected to fall so deeply in love with him." Kahlan clenched her jaw tightly and looked up at Zedd.

"Richard is a rare person, indeed," he said, agreeing. "He has an effect on people. Something I had not anticipated or expected. He was a true Seeker of Truth."

Kahlan frowned. "_Was_?"

Zedd gave a nod, and parted his robes to reveal the scabbard and sword attached around his waist. "He has renounced the position and title," he informed him. "The Midlands no longer needs the Seeker, to paraphrase him."

"Zedd?" Kahlan broached, tucking some of her hair behind an ear. "Where is Richard going?"

The wizard took a long deep breath through his nose as he closed his robes and sauntered up to the edge of the balcony, resting his hands on the stone rail. "He's going back home, Kahlan," Zedd let out a breath, his eyes misting up. "He's going back to Hartland."

Kahlan gave a despondent nod, now knowing that it was indeed over. She was never going to see Richard again. Biting her lower lip and swallowing the last of her hope, Kahlan closed her eyes and surrendered herself to the life of despair and unhappiness she had wrought.

XXX

Her belly had grown more in the past two months than it had during the first half of her pregnancy. Kahlan was now very heavy with child and she felt bloated and ready to burst. Over the days and weeks after Richard's departure, her mood had soured and she seemed to go back and forth between anger and utter wretchedness. And her self-loathing had grown to unhealthy levels. As First Wizard, Zedd was concerned, and had sent the midwives to her to check that the baby was okay. Kahlan just sat there as the women fussed over her, gritting her teeth as the women babbled on about the joys of having children.

As far as Kahlan was concerned, they couldn't be further from the truth. She felt no joy at being with child. She could handle the nausea and food cravings, even the weight gain, but not the idea. It was not until her relationship with Richard had been utterly destroyed by what she had done, that she realized that she was never going to be able to fully love her own daughter, because every time she would look at her, Kahlan would be reminded of the consequences of conceiving her. And for that, Kahlan hated herself even more. She was such a horrible person. First she had betrayed the only man she had ever loved, and now she could not even bring herself to love her own child.

When the midwives were done, they informed her that she was close to delivery, maybe even a couple of weeks away. Kahlan nodded, thanking them, before curtly dismissing them. When they left, she returned to her brooding. Part of her wished that the D'Haran quads had captured and killed her like they had been ordered, then she would never have met Richard and she would not have betrayed him.

Two hours after the midwives left, Dragen came to her, sensing his mistresses despair and misery. Kahlan laid in her big white bed… the bed she had always dreamt of making love to Richard in. And it was in this very bed that she had spread her legs and allowed Dragen to take her maidenhood. She sniffled and adjusted herself on the bed as he climbed up beside her, draping an arm around her shoulder. Kahlan felt nothing for him, not even anger at him being the man she had sacrificed that which she had always dreamt could one day be given to Richard. He had been confessed. He had no freewill, so he was not to blame. She was.

"Why do you cry, Mother Confessor?" he soothed, brushing her tears away with a hand, as she eased into his hold.

"Because I'm a terrible woman," Kahlan said, not knowing why she felt the need to explain herself to him.

"No, you're not," Dragen said, jumping to her defense as any confessed man would do for his confessor. "You are the light. You are the most generous and kind woman I have ever known." Kahlan gave a nod. That was no doubt true. "And I love you."

She lowered her brow. That, however, was not true. He only loved her because she had confessed him. Kahlan hated when he said this. Having loved Richard and had his love, Kahlan knew what real love was. And what Dragen felt for her was not love. It was a devotional obsession that was forced on him by the magic she wielded. It was not real. It was false and unreal.

"You only love me because you were confessed," Kahlan said, narrowing her eyes as she began to think. Her mind started churning over the idea and she nearly gasped in shock when it came to her. "You only love me because you were confessed," she repeated, with more understanding behind her words.

Spirits, why had she never thought of this before? It was all so painfully obvious. Love! Richard had never been confessed and yet, he had loved her. Kahlan sat up, startled. Dear Creator, what had she done? The answer had been right in front of them the whole time. Richard already loved her, and it was not just some silly infatuation, it was the genuine article. It was true love. And if he already loved her that much, then her powers could not make him love her anymore than he already did. Richard was immune to confession!

"Dragen!" Kahlan nearly screamed.

"Yes, Mistress?" the confessed man looked distressed and worried for his confessor.

Kahlan took in a deep breath, deciding what she had to do. She had to see Richard. She had to! Even if she could never get him back, she had to be able to tell him the truth. Even if the truth was painful, he had the right to hear it. Kahlan turned her head and looked up at her mate. "Dragen, I need you to do something for me," she said.

"Yes, anything for you, my mistress," the man promised with the devoted voice of the confessed.


	6. Home In The Woods

*This chapter is a little longer because I didn't want to split it in two.

**

* * *

Chapter 6 – ****Home In The Woods**

_Whack!_

The sound resounded throughout the clearing. With the swing of an axe, the piece of wood was cleaved in two, and clattered down off the chopping block he had placed by the side of the cabin. Richard bent down and tossed the two pieces over onto the growing pile of firewood. He then picked up another log and placed it on the block. Standing there for a moment, catching his breath, Richard took pride in their home. It had only taken them a week to construct the rudimentary foundations and another two to erect the walls and interior. Then, using bark, wild grass, and dried mud, they had constructed a roof. It was no palace, but it was home. And it was something to be proud of.

Richard smiled, hearing Jennsen working in the garden around the corner, humming away a little tune that their mother had taught her. As for Cara, Richard really didn't know where the Mord'Sith was. It had taken several weeks, but he had finally gotten her out of the red leather outfit and into some more traditional clothing. Though she still attached her agiels to her belt, and seemed to raid Richard's wardrobe for spare clothes more than Jennsen's.

It had taken Cara longer to adapt to their new living conditions, but she had managed. And somehow she had been able to make friends with some of the wild game trappers who lived around the near by trading outpost along Trunt Lake. He was happy to see her make friends, and hoped that it would help bring her further out of her shell. Taking another breath, he adjusted his grip on the axe and wiped the sweat off his brow. Richard then heaved the axe up over his head and swung down with great force, relishing the sound the wood made when it broke in two.

The irony did not escape him. Three months ago, his heart had been split in two. Well, to be honest, it had almost literally been shattered into thousands of pieces. It had taken the serene and relaxing woods of Westland to calm and smooth out some of the edges, but Richard felt that he was beginning to feel some spark of happiness in life again. Though he was still not over Kahlan. Sometimes something small would remind him of her and he would cry. Once he had taken a hike, walking along the edge of Trunt Lake and he had caught sight of fireflies. He instantly recalled night wisps and thought of her, and when he first saw her dashing frantically through the trees, running for her life from a quad of D'Harans.

Richard had stopped cursing that day, having had more time to think about everything that had happened. He reckoned that the old axiom, that it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, was true. There was a lot that had happened between him and Kahlan that had given him strength, and he could never really hate her. He had deeply loved her, and he knew that he would probably always love her. Such a strong emotion could not be derailed or abandoned so easily.

He stopped chopping wood at midday, pleased with the large pile of firewood he had created, and he stacked them up along the side of the cabin. After finishing, he went to the garden to help Jennsen with the weeding. His sister's red hair looked like fire in the midday sunlight and she smiled at him when he dropped to his knees, digging his fingers into the dark fertile ground to pull out the pesky weeds. With his help, they manage to clear the garden of weeds in an hour. Richard then went into the cabin and gathered up some cheese, bread, and dried meats from the kitchen cupboards.

Putting them into a basket, and grabbing a blanket from his bedroom, Richard took Jennsen to the lake, where they found a nice outcropping of rocks to sit and have a picnic. The sun shone high and it was warm. Jennsen gazed longingly out at the water, and Richard suggested they go for a swim.

"That would be fun, yes, Richard," Jennsen responded, then averted her eyes, embarrassed. "But, I don't know how to swim."

Richard laughed, then caught himself and gave his sister hug. "Then I'll have to teach you," he grinned.

Stripping down to their underthings, Richard led Jennsen to one of the more shallow portions of Trunt Lake. Holding her, he instructed her on how to wade and allow her body to float. Jennsen was a quick study and it was no long before she had gained enough confidence to wade deeper into the lake. Richard enjoyed himself. Some of the emptiness in his heart was being filled with his love for his sister.

It had been hard at first, coming back to Hartland, where George and Michael Cypher had died, but having Jennsen and Cara with him made it easier. And Jennsen was so young and innocent, having previously led a sheltered life, so that he was able to experience things all over again through her eyes. Like swimming. He'd always taken it for granted, but seeing the joy it brought Jennsen made him feel less incomplete and more whole.

They swam and waded, splashed and frolicked around in the water until the sun started to go down. Shivering as they pulled themselves out of the water, Richard wrapped the blanket around them as they hiked back home. He was a little worried when they found out that Cara had yet to return, but then again, the Mord'Sith really didn't enjoy doing chores around the cabin, and spent most of her free time tracking or hunting in the woods. Or spending time at the tavern in the trading outpost with her trapper buddies.

While Jennsen chopped up some vegetables and sausage for a stew for supper, Richard went to work on his little project. He had started it three days ago, when Cara had made a passing comment about how hard it was to find a decent bath in Westland. So, he'd been working on constructing a tub for them. He had designed the cabin in such a way that it was easy to make additions to it. So he had begun setting up an adjacent room to the washroom to have a bathtub. They would have to collect the water from the river or lake, and boil it before it was hot enough for a bath, but that was just part of life out here in the wilderness.

Richard loved it out here. The air was clear and fresh, and he could take in deep breaths without smelling any foul odors one would in a city. He had never liked cities and had liked them even less since Aydindril. Richard knew his opinion was probably tainted by memories, but he did not care. He had always felt calmer and more at ease when surrounded by the lush vibrant life of the forests.

The clearing they had built their cabin in was tranquil and serene. And if you looked just right, you could see the white snowcapped peaks of the mountains over the treetops. And Richard loved the hues of pink, red, and orange that flowed across the sky as the sun set. Sometimes it brought tears to his eyes, as he remembered the many sunsets that he had watched with Kahlan, as the two of them made plans for a future that could never be.

Jennsen called him in for supper, and Richard put down his tools and went inside.

"I wonder what Cara's up to," Jennsen pondered aloud as she fiddled with her stew, swirling her spoon around in the hot liquid.

Richard gave a shrug, not really caring. It had become harder to be around Cara. She knew that his relationship with Kahlan had ended and she had taken that as a hint that he was fair game again. So, to that end, she had continued her advances. But Richard was not yet ready to move on. That was why he had picked a site on the far side of Trunt Lake, away from Hartland. He did not want to encounter Anna again. There had been a time that he had thought of marrying her, but that had been long ago. When she moved south with her parents, he had considered that relationship over. And he had no wish of rekindling that romance. He had never really truly loved her—not in a way a man should love a woman, and to pursue a relationship with her would just be unfair, not just to her, but to himself, as well.

After supper, Richard sat out on the porch, relaxing in the rocking chair he had made, watching the stars come out. Jennsen sat on the steps, knitting him a sweater for the winter. When she went to Hartland to buy the yarn, she asked what color he would like. He told her to pick one. She had returned with a green, almost sage colored ball of yarn.

Richard closed his eyes and tried to relax, but as the stars came out, he found himself thinking more and more about Kahlan. He wondered how she was doing, and if she had given birth yet. Clenching his jaw tightly, he sniffled and looked up at the bright moon. It cast a blue glow over everything and the color reminded him of Kahlan's eyes. Jennsen sensed his mood and stood up, gliding over to give him a hug.

"It'll be all right, Richard," she said, reassuring him. "I'm here for you."

"Thank you, Jennsen," he replied. "It really does mean a lot to me that you came." He remembered when he and Cara had arrived in Ten Oaks; Jennsen had originally been hesitant about leaving the Midlands, having lived there her entire life. But she had agreed to come, even if it was just for Richard alone.

Jennsen gave him another hug and brushed his hair away from his face, kissing his brow. "I'm going to bed," she said. "Don't stay up too late."

Richard gave a nod, and watched her go back inside. He turned his attention back to the moon and stars, his thoughts drifting back to Kahlan. He wondered if he had made the right decision in leaving without speaking with her. Perhaps Zedd had been right, when his grandfather had said he had given up to easily. He had never really given Kahlan a chance to explain herself, and part of him regretted that. He sighed, and laid his head against the backrest, and slowly swayed back and forth in the rocking chair.

It was not until much later in the evening that Cara came stumbling through the trees and up onto the porch, clearly drunk. She wobbled and he jumped up to catch her before she collapsed. She gazed up at him with a curious look and smirked.

"Been out drinking with your friends, have you?" he asked, as he put her arm over his shoulder and opened the door with his other hand.

Cara leaned against him, looking up at him through the fogged eyes of inebriation, and gave a drunken nod. Richard shook his head and helped carry her inside. He kicked opened the door to her bedroom with his foot and practically had to drag her to the bed, she was so drunk. Plopping down, he removed her shoes and belt, careful not to touch the agiels. Cara laughed and grabbed him, pulling him down onto the bed with her. She growled like a predator stalking her prey and climbed up over Richard, straddling him with her legs. Even while drunk, Cara was still a formidable foe.

"Cara, what are you doing?" Richard gasped, as she began unbuttoning his shirt and grinding her hips against his middle.

She huffed and pushed him down hard when he tried to sit up, running her hands down his hard chest. "You've been playing hard to get long enough, Richard," she said, glaring down at him. Pulling at her blouse, she exposed her chest and grabbed his hands, putting them over her breasts. "It's time you moved on," she purred, leaning down on him, running her tongue seductively across his lips.

As she continued grinding her hips over him, Richard groaned, feeling his body respond to the friction. Cara took advantaged and rammed her lips against his, giving him a hot and wet kiss. Richard closed his eyes and moaned into her mouth. He began to give in. Why did it matter? But then, he regained his senses and pushed her back rolling her onto her back. Cara laughed, thinking he was being more assertive and taking over. She spread her legs and wrapped them around him. Richard clenched his teeth, and pried her legs off him, moving off the bed, standing before her, heaving in deep breaths.

Cara sat up, pouting. "Why do you still hold out for _her_?" she asked, sitting up. "_She_ betrayed you. _She_ slept with another. Why won't you?" She slipped off the edge of the bed. "Tell me? Why do you deny yourself the pleasure you can have?" She moved closer and wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing her lips inches away from his. "After all," she purred in a seductive voice, running her tongue across her upper lip. "I'm ready… and willing."

Richard tensed and flushed with the unwanted arousal that came from Cara pressing her supple body up against him. He put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her away.

"But, Cara, I don't love you," he said.

"Who said anything about love?" Cara scoffed, still a little tipsy. She stumbled and he caught her. "I'm talking about sex, Richard," she murmured. "Pleasure… come on… you know you want it! How long as it been? Really! How long?"

Richard ignored her question and took her to the bed, placing her to the mattress, and then pulling the blankets over her. "Go to sleep, Cara," he said, gently rubbing her forehead. "Sleep."

"Just sex, Richard," she murmured softly before closing her eyes.

When she was asleep, Richard let out a frustrated breath and left her room, closing the door quietly behind him. He stood in the kitchen, sucking in breaths, trying to cool himself down, finding himself focusing on her questions. It had been a long time. The last woman he had been with had been Nadine, the daughter of the apothecary. But that had been three years ago. And he had caught her cheating on him, and he had been heartbroken.

Going to his room, Richard closed the door and slumped down onto his bed, taking his shirt off and tossing it carelessly to the floor. He laid down on the bed and closed his eyes, thinking of Kahlan. Groaning, he admitted that he needed some sort of release. And soon! The strain of holding it back was almost too much to bear. But he didn't want to sleep with Cara. He cared about her, but he didn't love her. And sex without love was meaningless to Richard. Each of the women he had been with in his life, he had loved to some extent. Some less than others, yet there had always been some form of love involved. But he had never loved a woman like he had loved Kahlan. And he had loved her even knowing that he could never be intimate with her. Spirits, he still loved her.

Richard let out a deep sigh, knowing there was only one way to get rid of these feelings without submitting to Cara's advances. He would do what he had done many times when he had still been with Kahlan and they were on their quest to stop Darken Rahl. Spirits, he had even done it when he had been without her, in his search for the Stone of Tears. And every time he had snuck away from camp to find his release, he had thought of her. So, that's what he had to do. Richard unlaced his trousers and closed his eyes, thinking of Kahlan.


	7. Unexpected

**Chapter 7 – Unexpected**

This had not been a good idea. She should not have come. Her hope for a future that could never be had led her astray, to a place she did not belong, nor would be welcomed. But it was too late for second thoughts, they had long since passed into Westland, having found the path through the mountains to King's Port. They then traveled north, edging along the slopes of the mountains. Winter was coming, and she could already feel it's icy fingers on her neck, tormenting her. Kahlan had to give in, and allow Dragen to sleep beside her. She required his body heat for warmth, but nothing more. Though, he had thought otherwise the first night.

She stopped him before he could do anything, telling him to just hold her and keep her warm. He would say, yes mistress, and wrap his arms around her trembling body. Kahlan would clutch at her swelled belly, groaning from her sore thighs that ached from riding in the saddle. However, each night, the soreness and aches were never on her mind. Her constant thought was on Richard. Kahlan hoped beyond hope that he would listen to her and hear her out. Dragen may have been the one whose arms were physically around her, but it had been her thoughts of Richard that kept her warm at night.

As she closed her eyes to go to sleep, she would pull the only thing she had left of him closer, hugging it like it was his arm: The Sword of Truth. Though, clutching the cold steel close to her body while in the cusp of winter was probably not a good idea, it was something she could never give up. The Sword of Truth was all she had left of Richard, and she would caress the hilt and pommel, softly kissing the grip where Richard's smell still clung to the black leather. When riding, she would wear it over her shoulder, feeling reassured and safe with its weight upon her back.

To her, the sword was Richard… and Richard was the sword. They belonged with one another. That was why Kahlan had commanded Dragen to steal it from the First Wizard's Conclave. She had gone along and distracted Zedd, complaining about a fictitious malady, while her confessed mate snuck in and snatched the sword from its resting place. Then, in the dark of night, they had absconded, heading for Westland.

Since then, Kahlan had been pondering on how to first approach Richard. Her plan was to use the Sword of Truth to break the ice, as it were. She would tell him that she had come to return the sword to its rightful owner, and then hoped that he would allow her to speak some more. She desperately wanted to talk to him, to tell him everything and explain herself. But most of all, she wanted to tell him what she had discovered. And she prayed to the good spirits that he still loved her. Because if he did… then maybe, just maybe, when she finally gave birth to this child, they could be together.

She knew she was being foolish to even believe that Richard would take her back—there was no reason for him to do so. But she wished so much that it could happen. She wanted to be with him so bad that it ached and made her heart feel hollow and empty to think that he no longer loved her. Richard's love meant much more to her than she realized. When she had first agreed to take a mate, Kahlan had thought that she could handle it. But she had been wrong. The moment Dragen pushed himself inside her, she wept for what she had allowed to happen.

Richard should have been her first, and it pained her that he was not. She hated how it had hurt and how Dragen's ministrations had not eased that pain like the older confessors had told her that it would when she was younger. Perhaps they had never known true love and what it meant. Or how powerful it's absence could be felt. It had taken two agonizing weeks of opening herself to Dragen before she finally became with child. After that, she slept alone and wept, crying herself to sleep every night.

"Mistress?" Dragen's voice called her from her depressing ruminations.

Kahlan blinked, but could not bring herself to look upon his face. "What is it?" she asked, shifting her sore bottom on the saddle.

"The woods," he whispered, looking around. "They've gone quiet."

Kahlan narrowed her eyes, shocked to find that he was right. She heard no birds or other wildlife. "You're right," she said. The sun was setting and they were going to need to stop soon, but this development made her wary.

Dragen adjusted himself in his saddle, slowly removing his sword. He looked over at her, the protective instinct of a confessed man surfacing in his eyes. "We're being hunted," he informed her.

"Hunted?" Kahlan furrowed her brow.

He gave a nod. "Before, during the war, I used to hunt people for Darken Rahl," Dragen said. "My quad would stalk our prey, and it always seemed to grow quiet before the strike."

Kahlan bit her lower lip in worry. She did not like the idea that they were being followed. Or that someone or something was stalking them. "What do we do?" she asked, nervously.

"Stay here, mistress," he said. "I will protect yo—"

Suddenly, before he could finish his sentence, an arrow came out of nowhere and impacted Dragen in the chest with such force that it knocked him off his horse. Kahlan let out a cry, and watched as he fell with a hard thud. She knew the moment he hit the ground that he was dead. Her eyes grew wide with terror, seeing the blood pool out around the dead man who had been her mate. She felt no sorrow for his death; he had been a brutal D'Haran captain during the war. But at this moment, she had needed of him. Kahlan gripped the reins in her hands and kicked her legs, willing the horse into a gallop. She knew it was not wise in her condition, but her life was at stake. Kahlan placed one hand on her belly, while she directed the horse with the other.

"Stop her!" roared a voice. "We need the woman alive!"

Whinnies and snorts from other horses seemed to manifest all around her, and her mount skidded to a stop, letting out a high neigh of fear, as four large horses appeared around them. The mare she rode was small, and was suitable for cold weather and rocky terrain, while these were large work horses. Their riders were big men with unruly hair. One brought his mount up to hers and reached out, snatching the reins from her hands. Another yanked the Sword of Truth off her back, causing Kahlan to cry out in pain as the baldric dug into her flesh before it gave way and slipped off.

"Damn!" the man who had taken the reins cursed.

"What?" another questioned.

"She's with child," the first answered. "She's worthless to us."

"We could shed it," one suggested. "I bet we can find a good price for her. Even if she is spoiled, she is rather pretty."

The one holding her reins looked down at her with a critical eye, running his filthy fingers through her hair and feeling her breasts. "Maybe, but I ain't know child killer."

"Then what do we do?" his subordinate inquired.

"Let me see that sword!" the leader hollered at his comrade.

The man tossed it over. Kahlan watched as he scrutinized it. "This will fetch a nice price," he said. "See about the man's things. I'll deal with the woman."

Kahlan shivered, afraid that he was going to kill her. She watched as his men rode back to where Dragen's corpse was. They dismounted and went through his things, taking his boots, belt, and sword. One checked the saddlebags on the horse, then decided just to take the horse and deal with the items in the bags later. The leader shifted his mount closer to Kahlan.

"Now listen closely, dearie," he spoke in a harsh whisper. "The only reason you ain't being taken or killed is because of what's growing in that belly of yours. All I'm going to want from you is whatever coin you got."

"In… in the right saddlebag," Kahlan gulped, stuttering.

He nodded appreciatively and opened the flap, removing her coin purse. "You can be on your way, little lady," he grinned, winking. "Just pray to the good spirits that we don't meet again after you've given birth."

Kahlan swallowed past the lump in her throat as he handed her back the reins and backed his horse away, joining his compatriots. Cautiously, she squeezed her legs and encouraged the mare to go on. Her heart was beating like a drum during some corybantic ritual dance. She was terrified that the man was just taunting her, prolonging the torture. But when she had gone some distance, she looked over her shoulder to find that she was alone.

Looking down at her belly, Kahlan, for the first time, felt some affection for the child growing within. She had yet to be born, and she had already saved her mother's life. It was an unexpected feeling, but Kahlan embraced it, wanting to feel something other than terror and fear. After all, she was the Mother Confessor and she had been through rougher scrapes than that. However, she had always had Richard to help her get through those times. Now, she was alone, with no help or support.

It was not until her breathing eased and her heart slowed down that Kahlan felt the stabbing pains in her abdomen. She looked down, afraid that during the wild assault she had been injured. But when she looked down she saw nothing to support such a theory. Her mouth dropped and a groan forced itself out as a stabbing pain washed over her. Her breathing grew rapid again, and her brow grew moist. Spirits, this could not be happening. No, not… not while she was all alone.

Kahlan tried to hold herself together, hoping that she would arrive at some village or small settlement. She kept following the path. Each movement her horse made was agony for her, but she had to keep going. Using her confessor training, Kahlan suppressed some of the pain and pushed onward. It was well past midnight by the time she caught sight of the glowing lanterns of an outpost. Kahlan shuddered and sobbed through the labor pains, as she urged her horse towards the gates, hoping that she'd find some help there.


	8. Agonizing Epiphany

**Chapter 8 – Agonizing Epiphany**

He woke calling her name. Groaning, he shifted onto his side and let out a soft sob, remembering the truth. It had been a dream that she was by his side. Sniffling and rubbing the fog of sleep from his eyes, Richard sat up on the edge of the bed and slumped his shoulders. He wished that his dreams were reality and that reality were the dreams. Not having Kahlan in his life hurt more than he thought it would. He did not know if he could survive without her.

Having found some peace out here in the woods, Richard had hoped he would have slowly forgot about her. However, his heart seemed to have different plans. Whenever his mind wandered, he remembered her brilliant blue eyes and that special smile, the one he had thought she would only give him. But then she had been with another. She had betrayed him. Richard heaved a great deep sigh and stood, stretching his back. Maybe this was what life was going to be like; a long endless wheel of grief.

After getting dressed, Richard went into the kitchen, finding that Jennsen was already up. She was kneeling by the fireplace, cooking some porridge in the cauldron. When he entered, she looked up and smiled.

"Good morning, Richard," she said, her eyes shining with life.

Richard took comfort in that. He had brought his sister here and she was finally having a somewhat normal life. Sensing his despondent mood, Jennsen got up and gave him a big sibling hug. Richard rested his head on her shoulder.

"What's wrong?" she asked, as they sat down at the table. "Did you and Cara…"

"No," Richard shook his head.

"Why not?" Jennsen boldly asked, trying to look innocent.

"Because…," Richard's throat seized up with emotion and he could not find his voice.

"You're still in love with _her_," Jennsen finished for him. Neither Jennsen nor Cara would say Kahlan's name.

Richard clenched his jaw and gave a nod, slumping down into one of the chairs around the table. He let out a heavy sigh and rested his elbows on the surface, burying his face in his hands. "What's wrong with me, Jennsen?" he asked. "Why can't I stop thinking about her?"

Jennsen knitted her eyebrows together. "I… I don't know, Richard," she managed to answer. "I just don't."

She returned to the cauldron, and poured out some porridge for them. Richard accepted the bowl and ate greedily, trying to think about other things besides Kahlan. He thought about what he was going to do today. Maybe he'd finish the bath. That would be nice. He could then take a long hot bath to sooth and calm his fried nerves. But there she came again, Kahlan sneaking into his thoughts. She just seemed to not want to give up.

Finishing his porridge, Richard pushed the empty bowl away and leaned back in the chair, narrowing his eyes as he looked out the window at the rising hints of dawn. Jennsen removed the bowl and cleaned it, then returned and looked worryingly at her brother.

"Maybe you should go into Hartland today," she suggested. "Not that I don't mind having my brother around, but you need some more company than just me and Cara."

At the mention of her name, the Mord'Sith appeared. Slowly sauntering down the hall from her bedroom. Her eyes looked blurry and her forehead was creased, obviously trying to cope with her hangover. Cara let out a soft groan as she sat down, holding her head with one hand. Jennsen gave her a bowl of porridge, and Cara thanked her. Jennsen looked between the two, then excused herself, saying she wanted to check on the garden.

"Boy do I have a headache," Cara groaned aloud, before taking a big spoonful of her porridge. She looked up at Richard and frowned, noticing how he was looking at her. "What? Did I do anything embarrassing last night? Because I woke up with my shirt off."

Richard gulped and swallowed past the lump in his throat. "You mean you don't remember last night?" he choked.

"Last night?" Cara looked up, thinking. "No. The last thing I remember was walking up on the porch, seeing you look all weepy." She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "You need to get over _her_, Richard." Cara stopped and her mouth dropped. "Wait? We didn't…"

"No," Richard quickly blurted out.

"Oh," she seemed disappointed, then smirked. "Why not? I'm sure it would have been hot!"

"You know why, Cara," Richard said scowling as he stood. "I'm going to chop some wood."

Cara raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. There was already enough wood chopped to last them for several weeks, but Richard found solace and comfort in the process. Picking up his axe, he went outside and took in a deep breath of the crisp cool woodland air. He could hear Jennsen softly humming as she tended to her garden, making him smile. He hoped that one day Jennsen would find love, because he knew he could never find love again, not after having been so devastated.

Richard sauntered over to the block, and rummaged through the pile of logs he had yet to cut. He placed one on the block and heaved the axe up over his head and cracked the wood in two. It felt good. Having something to do. Chopping wood gave him something to vent his frustration on. Sometimes he imagined Kahlan's mate's head in place of the log and he would get a thrill out of ramming the axe down.

However, today, all Richard seemed capable of thinking about was Kahlan. Her and no one else occupied his mind. Spirits, how he loved her. He slumped his shoulders, feeling his heart pound in his chest, as he heaved in deep racking sobs as he thought of her. Even now, after everything that had happened, that she had done, part of him would still willingly risk confession to be with her. That's all he wanted, if it was only one night. Just once, he wanted to feel her, and be with her in the way he had always wanted.

He brought the axe down, almost growling in the frustration of not being able to be with the woman he loved. Then, suddenly, as he watched the wood split in two, it hit him. It was like being stabbed in the chest all over again. The gravity of what he had just realized was that tremendous, that agonizing.

"No," Richard spoke aloud almost in a whimper, shaking his head, wanting to deny his epiphany. "It could not have been that simple." Tears began to form in his eyes as the revelation struck him. Yes, it was that simple. Richard closed his eyes and sank to his knees. Why couldn't he have had this realization long ago? Oh why did he have to discover it now! He could have been with her long ago. Spirits, he was never in danger of being confessed by her. Never!

"NO!" Richard screamed in rage at having been so blind. He stood, lifting the axe high in the air and swinging it down with such force that he shattered the chopping block in two. A loud crack echoed through the clearing as the block cleaved and broke.

Jennsen came running around the corner, her eyes wide with fear and worry. Tears were freely running down Richard's cheeks and his chest was heaving with the enormity of what he had just realized. His sister rushed to him, but held back, seeing the look of rage in his eyes. It was the rage of the Seeker of Truth, the fury that he had received from wielding the Sword of Truth. Cara appeared on the porch, looking over at him with concern in her eyes.

"Richard?" Jennsen broached, taking a cautious step forward.

But before she could say any more, the sounds of horses interrupted them. Richard looked up and saw Hulbert, one of the trappers from the trading outpost, riding into the clearing. He was holding the reins of another horse. They all rushed up to greet him. He immediately tossed the reins of the riderless horse to Richard.

He grabbed the reins and looked questioningly up at the trapper. "What is it, Hulbert?" Richard asked, confused, his mind distracted away from his sudden epiphany for the moment.

"Some bandits attacked a couple on the road to Hartland last night," Hulbert spoke hastily. "The man was killed, but the woman managed to escape somehow. She's with child… and Richard, she's going into labor."

Richard instantly knew why Hulbert had come. There were no midwives on this side of Trunt Lake, because there were hardly any women. Jennsen and Cara were the only ones living in the area. And there had never been a need for a midwife. Richard was the only one for leagues who knew anything about the birthing process. Not only had he assisted in the birth of many farm animals, but he had also helped the midwife in Hartland deliver several babies. He just always seemed to be around when a woman went into labor. At first he had been terrified, but afterwards, seeing the new life in his hands and then handing it over to the new mother had been so fulfilling. It made him feel like he had contributed to the world.

Turning to Jennsen, Richard placed his hands on her shoulders. "I'll be back as soon as possible," he said, giving her a kiss on the forehead, and then climbing up on the horse. She gave an understanding nod and watched as he turned the horse around and kicked his legs, sending it galloping off to the outpost.

Richard left his cabin behind in a flash. His mind focused on the task that lay before him. In a terrible way, he was grateful the bandits had attacked the couple. The trauma of it had sent the woman into labor, which then gave Richard something to distract himself from his own torment at having discovered how he could have been with Kahlan when it was too late. Not stopping for rest, it took them about two hours at the quick pace they were going. Both the horses were exhausted and lathered in sweat by the time they roared through the outpost gates.

"She's in my cabin," Hulbert informed him as they dismounted. He took the reins from Richard. "I'll deal with the horses. We need you in there with her."

Richard gave a nod and darted off, rushing for Hulbert's cabin. As he got closer, he could hear the wails of the poor woman as she was hit with her labor pains. When he arrived, he found that almost every single soul was standing outside Hulbert's cabin. Richard squeezed through the crush and went inside. The interior of the trapper's cabin had been shifted around. The bed had been moved away from the wall, which would make it easier for him to assist in delivery.

Gus, the outpost's healer, was standing over the bed, looking concerned and uneasy. The man was not that knowledgeable in things outside cuts, bruises, and illnesses. He looked grateful when he saw Richard, literally sighing with relief.

"Thank the spirits you've come," he said. "I think her contractions are coming closer and closer together."

Richard gave a nod. "I'm going to need more light," he said, stepped up by the foot of the bed, tentatively lifting up the woman's skirt to check on her progress. He patted her legs reassuringly, to let her know that he was not a peeping tom or anything, that he was there to help. "Yes, she's fully dilated," he said. "The baby will come anytime now."

Gus parted some of the curtains, allowing in more sunlight. Richard shifted to the woman's side, intent on instructing her what to expect. He opened his mouth and looked down to speak, but then stopped dead. Meeting his eyes were the terrified yet beautiful blue eyes of the last person he ever expected to see. Kahlan.


	9. Birth

**Chapter 9 – Birth**

"Ric… Rich… Richard?" Kahlan managed to stutter out his name through the agonizing waves of pain that rocked her body. She blinked, hardly believing the sight before her. There he was, standing over her, looking down with his warm brown eyes, just as handsome as she remembered. His eyebrows slowly rose and his brow creased.

"Kahlan?" he gasped, almost in a whimper, soft and filled with torment and anguish. "Kahlan…?"

"You know her?" came the voice of the healer who had been tending her.

Richard pried his eyes away from her and turned towards the man. "Yes… we… we're acquaintances through my grandfather," he replied.

Kahlan's heart sank when she heard his answer. Richard was not acknowledging any other link between them beside Zedd. She bit her lower lip and furrowed her brow, feeling tears manifest in her eyes. But then he was by her side again. His eyes looking down at her with pain and grief, but when he spoke, his voice was calm.

"Kahlan, I need you to listen to me," Richard spoke, kneeling down beside her, placing a hand on her arm. "You are fully dilated, which means the baby will be coming soon."

"Richard…," Kahlan gasped. "I… I'm sorry."

"Shh," he soothed, brushing her matted hair from her face. "We… we'll discuss that later. Right now, you need to focus on giving birth. Okay?"

Kahlan swallowed the bitter bile in her mouth and gave a nod. She would do anything he said. She would even die if it would bring him comfort. Richard squeezed her arm gently, and then moved back to the foot of the bed. Gus came over and put more pillows under her head. Kahlan heaved in deep breaths, trying to stifle the agony she felt, but it was impossible. Her labor was suppressing her natural abilities to deal with suffering. Tears trickled out of her eyes and rolled down her cheeks like hot sun streaks blazing across the sky.

Richard rolled her skirt up past her knees and looked down on her. Kahlan groaned inwardly, wishing that the first time he had seen her down there was when they had made love, but because of her foolishness and stupidity, that was impossible. The first time he would see her was when she was pushing out a child that was not his.

Gus stayed by her side and patted her dripping forehead with a wet washcloth. She could feel Richard's hands on her legs and he moved them apart, setting them in the optimum position for birthing. Secretly she relished the feel of his strong hands, wishing they would linger. But soon the labor pains shot up through her again and she let out a cry. She almost closed her legs, the pain was so great, but Richard held them apart as he looked down.

"All right, Kahlan," he said looking up, speaking in that _damn_ calm voice of his. "I need you to push."

"Push!" she yelped. "How… how do I do that?"

Richard looked up and his brow creased. "Are you telling me no one told you what to expect? What you were going to have to do?"

Kahlan clenched her jaw, regretting how she had not paid attention when the midwives had spoken to her. She had been too focused on her grief over what she had done to her relationship with Richard that she had not paid attention. Blinking, coming back to the present, Kahlan saw Richard shaking his head in frustration.

He placed a hand on her knee as he leaned over to look into her eyes. "You're going to need to push, Kahlan," he said. "Otherwise the baby isn't going to come. I'm also going to need you to take quick breaths in between each push." He went on instructing her, and she listened with rapt attention, ignoring everything else, even Gus, who continued to mop her brow with the washcloth. When Richard finished telling her everything she was required to do, he turned his attention back between her legs.

"Are you ready now, Kahlan?" he asked, kneeling down. As he did so, she lost sight of him, almost causing her to cry out in fear, but his voice was sill there, and she could feel his breath against her legs.

"Yes," she wailed through panting breaths.

"All right, then," Richard said. "Now… push!"

Kahlan gritted her teeth together and arched her back as she concentrated on doing as Richard had told her. As she pushed with her muscles, the pain increased and she opened her mouth, letting out a loud scream. Richard's calm voice encouraged her, and told her to keep pushing. Spirits, she felt like she was being split in two. Her hands, which had been lying uselessly at her side upon to the bed, dug into the sheets fiercely as the agony almost caused her to black out.

"Good," Richard shouted over her screams. "Keep going, Kahlan. You're doing great. I see the head. Just a little longer."

Kahlan closed her eyes and arched her back, screaming as she gave another push. Spirits, she didn't know how much longer she would last before she lost consciousness. Then, at that moment, the pain seemed to subside and she heard a high pitch wail issue out from between her legs. Kahlan slumped back against the cushions, utterly spent. Her hair was matted with sweat and she was exhausted.

"Water," Richard called to Gus. The man moved away from her and brought Richard a bucket of warmed water.

She arched her neck, watching as Richard took a washcloth and began cleaning the wailing baby she had yet to see. Kahlan didn't even know if she wanted to see the baby, worried that she would look too much like her father.

"Knife," Richard held up a hand and Kahlan caught her breath. Her eyes grew wide with terror. Why did he need a knife? Now that the baby—the innocent—had been born, was he going to dispatch the mother as punishment for her crimes?

"Knife?" she managed to croak out.

Richard looked up at her for a moment. "To cut the umbilical cord," he informed her and left it at that. He ducked back down and Kahlan rested her head back against the pillows, letting him deal with it. He knew what he was doing. He was Richard Cypher, the man she loved. And he was the Seeker of Truth. She trusted him with her baby. Kahlan may have harmed him, but the baby had not. It had not asked for any of this to happen. Richard asked for a blanket, and Gus provided one.

"Kahlan?" came Richard's voice as he stood, stepping over to her. "You're daughter."

Kahlan opened her eyes and looked up at the small bundle he held in his hands. Hesitantly, she shifted and opened her arms to accept the offering. Richard leaned down and placed the small wailing body into her arms. She gulped and clenched her jaw as she looked down at the little wrinkly face, hued purple from its crying. Richard stood beside her gazing down with a sorrowful look.

"She's beautiful, Kahlan," he said, his voice sounding hollow and empty, yet she could tell that he meant it.

She looked up to speak with him, but he was not there. Looking around frantically, terrified that he had left her, she let out a sigh of relief, seeing that he had returned to the foot of the bed. She let out a gasp as she felt something else escape her. Hearing her, Richard looked up and explained that it was just the afterbirth, nothing to worry about. He cleaned it up. As she looked down at her daughter, Kahlan felt Richard's hands on her again, as he rinsed and cleaned her off down there. She almost cried, wishing he could touch her there again, with other intentions beside just cleaning her, but she knew that such thoughts were just a silly fantasy that would most likely never happen.

When he was finished, Richard tenderly lowered her skirt back over her legs, covering her. He stood up and wiped his brow with his arm, looking over at Gus, who was staring wide at the baby. Kahlan gently rocked the crying infant in her arms while watching Richard, waiting to see what he was going to do. He turned to Gus.

"Gus, could you give us a moment?" he said, his voice thick with hidden emotion.

Gus looked back and forth between them, then gave a nod. Richard's eyes watched the man and when he was gone, he pulled a chair over and sat it down by the side of the bed, sitting down in it. Kahlan wrapped her arms around her daughter, not knowing what was to come. She felt exhausted from the birth, but she had strength enough to speak with Richard, if that is what he wanted to do.

"Richard," she broached cautiously, when he did not speak. "I… I'm sorry."

"You've said that already," Richard replied, his voice heavy with resentment.

Kahlan let out a soft whimper and looked down at her daughter, truly looking at her for the first time. She knitted her eyebrows together, pleased beyond joy to see a tangle mass of thick dark hair on top of the crying infant's head. Then she became distressed when the baby kept crying. She tried soothing it, but truth be told, she had no idea what she was doing. Richard let out a groan and stood up.

"Here," he said, reaching for the baby.

Kahlan let him have her, and watched as Richard held the bundle in his arms and gently rocked her back and forth, humming softly. She watched in amazement as her daughter instantly responded to Richard, quieting and making soft cooing noises. Richard sat back down, tenderly rocking the infant in his arms.

"How did you do that?" she gasped, sitting up.

Richard looked at her with soft eyes. "Just something I picked up," he said. "You're not the first woman I helped give birth, Kahlan."

She gulped, almost as if he was saying she was nothing special. She sniffled, and watched as her daughter fell asleep in the arms of the man Kahlan wished was her father. Richard adjusted himself so that he was sitting more comfortably.

"So," he spoke in a low voice. "Why are you here?"

Kahlan blinked. "To see and… and talk with you."

"Me?" Richard raised an eyebrow and looked at her, as if he doubted that. "And where's your mate?"

"Dead," Kahlan replied with no emotion.

"What? No tears of grief for his death? Nothing for the father of your child?" Richard asked angrily.

"Richard, he meant nothing to me," Kahlan objected. "I felt nothing for him."

"Nothing, huh?" he harrumphed and lowered his brow. "Well, you must have liked him just enough to allow him inside… so that he could help you get her." He looked down at the child, and his expression changed. Kahlan could not help but notice how he looked at her daughter differently than he looked at her. He slowly reached up and tenderly brushed the tangle mass of dark hair back. Her daughter stirred at his touch as he caressed her cheek. Kahlan could see his jaw muscles tighten as he looked back up at her.

"You can stay with Jennsen, Cara, and me," he said. Kahlan's heart jumped up a bit, but then the look on his face made it sink again. "Just until you are well enough to travel," he added. "Then I will take you back to Aydindril." He gritted his teeth. "Where you belong."


	10. First Attempt

**Chapter 10 – First Attempt**

Richard sat, swaying back and forth, in the rocking chair on the porch, holding little Ashley Amnell in his arms. He had to admit, she looked remarkably like her mother. Her big blue eyes gazed up at him, staring, and her little hands tugged at his shirt, reaching for his pendent. Richard would stroke her head softly, feeling her silky smooth hair, as dark as her mother's. When he did so, Ashley would look up at him and smile. He found more joy in that little smile than he did in any of the smiles Kahlan would try and give him.

Jennsen had been wary, at first, of allowing Kahlan and her newborn to stay with them, mainly because of the hurt and anguish the confessor had caused her brother. But she relented when Richard had insisted. He may be angry with Kahlan, but she was still the Mother Confessor. He would show her the respect she deserved for that. Nothing more, nothing less. So, Jennsen did her best to make Kahlan feel at home. Richard gave up his room and slept in a spare room he converted into another bedroom. He had even spent some time building a little crib for Ashley.

Even though Kahlan was a guest in his home, the Mother Confessor and him rarely spoke. Richard preferred to spend his time with Ashley, holding and playing with her. The poor thing was completely innocent of the crimes that had been done against him by her mother. In truth, he felt sorry for the baby; he could not tell if Kahlan even had the strength to love the child. Richard had been forced to give her a name, because Kahlan could not. When she had furrowed her brow and stammered, unable to form any coherent words, Richard shook his head in disappointment and took the matter into his own hands. So he picked Ashley. He thought it fit her, and Ashley seemed to agree, because she would always gurgle a little giggle and smile when he whispered her name to her.

As Richard sat there, allowing Ashley to grab his pendent in her little fist, Cara came out of the woods, her bow slung over her shoulder and two pheasants in her hand. "I've got supper!" she proclaimed, holding the birds up by their legs.

Richard smiled, remembering when he and Kahlan had been with Renn, and how the Listener had insisted on pheasant with blackberry sauce. "I wonder, do we have any blackberries?" he asked, chuckling softly, thinking back fondly on those times.

Cara raised her eyebrows, unaware of the memories he was recalling. "I… I don't know. I will check with Jennsen," she said, concerned she was going to disappoint her Lord Rahl.

He laughed softly as Cara walked past, looking sullen. She narrowed her eyes, casting a cautious glance at Ashley, before ducking inside. Richard knew that the Mord'Sith did not approve of him allowing Kahlan to stay. As far as Cara was concerned, Kahlan was a traitor to the Lord Rahl and had no business being even within a league of him. Richard understood how she felt, though he was willing to put up with it more than she was. Part of him still desired and loved Kahlan, while another part just wanted to scream and shout at her.

They had spoken little since Ashley's birth. Kahlan had become withdrawn and melancholy. He thought it might be grief over the death of her mate. Richard knew what she had said, that she felt nothing for him, but he found that hard to believe. He knew Kahlan. She was one of the most caring people he knew. He did not believe, even for a minute, that she had felt nothing for her mate. Even if she had no love for Dragen, he suspected that there was a part of her that would miss the confessed man. After all, he was the father of her child, and the man who had protected and died for her. There would have been a time that that would have been Richard. Part of him wished, that in time, perhaps it still could. But the gulf between him and Kahlan was just too vast a distance to cross right now.

As for Ashley, Richard had no idea how Kahlan felt about her. The little confessor was barely a week old, and her mother seemed yet to form a bond with her. If anyone was bonding with the baby right now, it was Richard. To get her to sleep, Richard had to take Ashley with him, to the spare room he had converted for his use while Kahlan slept in his bed. He would lie on the mattress and wrap Ashley tightly in her swaddling clothes, then unbutton his shirt and rest her against his bare chest for warmth. Ashley would make a soft cooing noise and would to sleep, her little fingers digging into his skin, never wanting to let go.

The little blue eyed confessor had taken to him quickly. And she would start bawling whenever she was handed to someone else, especially Cara, who just held the baby out awkward, unsure what to do with it. Jennsen was a little better with Ashley, having helped care for a baby before, during her time in Ten Oaks.

And Kahlan, well, Ashley did not really seem to like her mother. It was like the tiny confessor could sense the tainted corruption upon her mother's flesh. It had gotten so bad once that Kahlan had to cry out for him. Richard had rushed into the room to find Kahlan sitting on the bed with her blouse down, trying to breast feed. Ashley was wailing like crazy. It took Richard sitting next to Kahlan to calm the little babe. While Ashley suckled on her mother's breast, her little blue eyes would gaze up adoringly at Richard. It was like she needed him around to feel safe and secure.

Recalling these things, Richard sighed. At least there was one confessor who needed him.

A soft giggle pulled him from his thoughts as the string around his neck went taut as Ashley pulled at it, trying to bring it to her mouth. Richard smiled, and gently took it away from her and shook his finger. "I don't think you'll want to put that in your mouth, little lady," he chuckled. "Here, try this." He held out a finger, which she eagerly grabbed tightly with her little fingers, smiling up at him with a big gummy smile.

"She really seems to like you," came what had once been the most beautiful voice he had ever heard.

Richard arched his neck up and saw Kahlan stepping out onto the porch, the skin around her eyes red and puffy. She'd been crying, no doubt. That's all she seemed to do nowadays, was cry. He was growing tired of it. If it weren't for Ashley, he would have sent her home already. But Ashley was still too young for that much travel, and winter was fast approaching. He might be okay with Kahlan braving it alone, but with Ashley, no. The little blue eyed confessor needed warmth and safety to survive these first few months of her life.

Kahlan sniffled, and tucked a strand of hair behind and ear, as she took a cautious step forward. "May I sit?" she asked, gesturing towards the rocking chair beside his.

He inclined his head. Kahlan sat down delicately and folded her hands in her lap. Her eyes were downcast, and she wore her depression on the tip of her sleeve for all to see. Ashley quieted, seeing her mother. The little face frowned, and her little legs began to kick. Richard almost smiled… almost. Ashley was trying to save him from this awkwardness. He narrowed his eyes, knowing he had been putting off their talk for too long. But Ashley was restless, as infants always are, when the aurora around them is so distressing.

Richard took a deep breath and stood. "Ashley needs a walk," he said, and started off, walking down the steps, not really knowing where he was going. He thought he might just walk around the clearing and get as far away from Kahlan as he could without absconding with her baby.

However, Kahlan stood and walked down the steps behind him, following at a distance. He wanted to turn and shout at her not to follow, but that would distress little Ashley more than he cared to do at the moment. Richard strolled over to a small grove in the corner of the clearing, out of hearing distance from the cabin. He knew why the Mother Confessor had followed. After a week of moping around, she finally wanted to talk. He inhaled through his nostrils, figuring he might as well get it out of the way.

Finding a sheltered spot under one of the trees, Richard stood by the trunk, resting his back against it, and waited for Kahlan to catch up. Even though he tried to glare at her with anger, he found it hard not to stare at her. She walked with a grace that came naturally to her, yet she looked anything but graceful. Her hair was frizzy and laid limply down her shoulders with none of the lushness or vibrancy it once had. But, still, even in her current somber mood and appearance, she was still strikingly beautiful. It was one of the many things that made this so difficult for him.

Kahlan stopped before him, holding her hands around her middle. She was looking down, a shameful and guilty expression on her face. Richard took a breath, wondering which one of them was going to speak first. He was trying hard not to be the first one. He had already done so much for her that he felt it was now Kahlan's turn to take the first step. Tentatively, she looked up, brushing her dark hair away from her face.

"Richard, I… I want to thank you," she started. "Not just for allowing me to stay in your beautiful home, but for how kind and gentle you are with… with Ashley."

"Well, she's quite a demanding little confessor," Richard said, half smiling as he gazed down at the little face. Ashley's eyes were upon him, looking up at him with an almost _I'm here for you_ kind of vibe. "And…," he looked back up at Kahlan, his lips turning into a flat line. "And, unlike another confessor I know, she knows what she wants, and she won't take no for an answer."

Kahlan sniffled and let out a whimper, knowing that remark was directed at her. For a moment he thought he had been too hard on her, but only for a moment. He had every right to be angry. She had told him one thing and had done another. Spirits, how could he ever trust her when all she seemed to do to him was lie?

"I deserved that," Kahlan conceded, looking down and fiddling with her hands. She looked up, choking down a sob. "But, Richard, you must understand that confessors… well, we don't get to have love. We are taught at a young age that love is something forever out of reach for us."

"Because of your powers," he said, nodding.

"Yes," Kahlan said, smiling a little, no doubt thinking she was getting through. "The line of confessors was in jeopardy, Richard. And the Council of the Midlands wanted to make sure that it would continue."

"So you took Dragen as a mate," Richard said, looking down at the fruit of that choice. Ashley smiled up at him. He could never hate her. She was an innocent. It was her mother who was the one to blame. Though, he knew that at some point Ashley would start to look more and more like a combination of Kahlan and Dragen. That was when it might be hard to look on her. But he could never, ever, hate her for being born.

"I didn't pick him, Richard," Kahlan took a step closer. "If I could not have you… then what did it matter? So, I allowed them to choose."

"And they chose Dragen," he said, gritting his teeth, shuddering at the image of Kahlan with the man. "A D'Haran captain. An enemy of Aydindril. Of the Midlands!"

"Yes," Kahlan looked down and backed away a bit. "He fit the qualifications."

Richard shifted, not knowing what to think. He furrowed his brow and bit his lower lip as it began to tremble. His heart was hammering in his chest, thinking of the betrayal that had been dealt him. He clenched his jaw.

"I… I never kissed him," Kahlan blurted with an expression that said she hoped that would make happy and appease some of his anger.

Deep down, he knew it did as she had hoped. But there was something else the haunted Richard more than that. He could have handled Kahlan kissing someone else. He'd kissed others. Spirits, he'd even kissed Cara at least two times. Once in the future, the reality that they had changed. And the second time was that night she came back drunk and tried to seduce him. There had been a part of him that had been extremely tempted by the offer, but even then, he could not betray his love for Kahlan.

"Kahlan," he looked up, not knowing why he was going to ask this. What if he didn't like the answer? What would he do then?

"Yes, Richard?" she stepped closer.

"Did you… I mean…, well, when he…," he stumbled through his words, trying to find the right way to ask this.

"Richard—"

"No, let me ask," Richard stopped her. "I have to… no, I _need_ to ask this."

She gave a nod, and backed off.

Richard took a deep breath. He narrowed his eyes and committed himself to asking the question. "Did you, at any point, enjoy or find pleasure in sleeping with him?"

Kahlan seemed to lose her breath, though he knew she was expecting this question. The moment he had seen Dragen in the wayward pine behind the Confessor's Palace, and had seen his build and features, that question had tormented him. Kahlan shook her head and looked down.

"No, of course not," she whimpered.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that," Richard demanded. He could not be sure unless he looked into her eyes.

Heaving in a breath, Kahlan's cheeks flushed as she looked up, pushing her hair away from her face, directing her eyes to his. "No… never, not one second, did I find any pleasure in his touch," she said. "I… I never ever reached release."

"I don't believe you," Richard gritted his teeth. "You're lying."

"Richard…," Kahlan groaned, furrowing her brow. "You know I'm a terrible lair, you've told me so yourself."

"Well, I guess you've learned," he spat out. "I don't believe you. How many times were you with him?"

"Does it matter?"

"Just answer the question!" Richard nearly shouted. Ashley let out a little cry, feeling a sympathetic link with him. He took a breath to calm himself and lowered his voice, repeating the question.

Kahlan knitted her eyebrows together and looked away. "I don't know the exact number," she asserted.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Richard snarled.

Kahlan huffed and frowned. "They weren't seared into my memory, if that's what you're implying!"

Richard's chest heaved with fury. "Well, if you didn't find pleasure in it, why where you with him so many times? Huh?" he asked. "I thought confessor's were supposed to be extremely fertile. Answer me that?"

"Well, whoever told you that, doesn't know the first thing about confessors," was her answer. She put her hands on her hips. "We're just like ordinary women in that regard. We have to work at it to get with child."

"And you worked, didn't you," Richard scowled. "You worked it good! You worked it hard! And you enjoyed it! You slut!" He stopped, horrified at what he had just called her. He had allowed his anger to go unchecked, focusing on what he believed to be a conversation that was dwelling much too long on Kahlan's apparently multiple nights of sheer passion with her mate. But he had just said something he had not intended. He had thought it, but had not truly meant it.

Kahlan's face sank and tears formed in her eyes. Her mouth dropped and a soft cry escaped. Spirits, he had not meant to say that!

"Kahlan wait…," he called, but she was already running away sobbing.

Richard let out a frustrated breath and looked down at Ashley, who seemed none the worse for wear. "Well, at least you're not crying," he said sardonically, as he adjusted the swaddling cloths around her and followed the wailing confessor, admitting to himself that their first attempt at having this talk was a completely and utter failure.


	11. Truth Revealed

**Chapter 11 – Truth Revealed**

Her entire body heaved with each sob as she ran away. The tears stung her cheeks as they flowed down her face. Everything was so painful. Everything an opened wound that just seemed to fester instead of healing. He just did not understand. How could he? He was a man. And he was normal. He did not have a magical ability that threatened to consume the people you love. Why did he have to be so mean about it? Didn't he know how much pain and grief she was in over what she had done? Spirits, he knew how hard it was for her to even hold her own daughter. She was a constant reminder of her betrayal. It shocked her to no ends that he seemed to have no trouble holding little Ashley. All the while, Kahlan struggled with it.

Richard must hate her. It even seemed her own daughter hated her. Spirits, Kahlan even hated herself at times. Ashley obviously liked Richard more than she liked her own mother, and Kahlan could hardly blame her. It pained her that whenever she tried to breast feed, Ashley would cry and wail. Kahlan had found the whole process uncomfortable and nerve-racking. But when Richard sat next to her on the bed, Ashley would calm and suckle peacefully. It was not until that first time that Richard sat beside her while she breast fed Ashley, that Kahlan began enjoying, even looking forward to it.

She secretly relished sitting next to him with her blouse parted and her breasts exposed. Though, they were milk heavy and not as firm as they had been before, she still thought they looked attractive enough. And she thought Richard seemed to think so as well, if his lingering eyes were any proof. He thought she never noticed it, but she did. She caught him staring. Kahlan had even begun thinking about trying to seduce him or entice him with her body, to win him back. But she soon shook her mind of that idea. Richard was better than that. Spirits, she was better than that, as well. That kind of tactic suited Cara more than it did the Mother Confessor. All she had to do to make Richard fall in love with her was look into his eyes.

Yes. She had felt the connection almost immediately. Richard had just helped save her from the D'Haran quad and, of course, she had to be stubborn, acting like she didn't need him. She even threatened him with a dagger to the throat. That was when their eyes locked for the first time. Kahlan had been totally unprepared for that encounter. Gazing into his warm brown eyes, seeing flecks of gold in the deep depths, she glimpsed his soul and had begun to fall for him. That was the reason she had been so shocked when Zedd said Richard was the Seeker. The wizard had mistaken her protests, thinking that she believed Richard was not good enough for the title of Seeker. But in truth, she had been afraid, because she knew that Seekers had notoriously short life spans and she did not want to see Richard die.

And now, here she was, again, running away through the woods of Westland. Yet this time she was not being chased by a quad of D'Harans armed with swords and arrows. She was being followed by the man she loved, who carried no weapons, save for the little baby in his arms; the reminder of her crime.

"Kahlan!" she heard him calling after her as she hurried along, jumping over surfacing roots and running around boulders. It was almost like the last time she'd ran through the Westland woods, except this time she had felt no panic or fear, just grief and sorrow, mixed with a pinch of self-loathing.

As she sobbed, Kahlan felt her chest tighten and her breath quicken. He had been right. He always was. She was no better than a whore. She did her duty like one; she had laid there and spread her legs. How could he even want her now, after what she'd done? She was spoiled, damaged goods. It was foolish of her to even believe that he'd even want to be with her in that way. Kahlan wished she never came looking for him. She should have just stayed in Aydindril and suffered through the decision she had forced upon both of them. But she could not. Not with how she felt about Richard.

Kahlan did not know how long she ran, but she knew she went uphill. The sun was setting and eventually she stopped for rest. She looked around, seeing or hearing no sound of Richard. He probably had just given up on her and let her run. As her chest heaved, filling her lungs with air, Kahlan gasped, realizing that her legs had taken her to a very familiar cliff. She gaped, stunned. This was the very place she had first met Richard. She cautiously stepped over to the cliff and peered down.

"Kahlan."

She spun around and raised a hand, almost exactly as she had done the last time she had been standing on this cliff. But instead of being met by a D'Haran quad, she was greeted by a lone man holding a baby in his arms. Richard stared at her with his warm brown eyes.

"Kahlan, I'm sorry," he said, stepping forward, adjusting Ashley in his arms. "I… I didn't mean to call you that. Please, you must believe me."

Kahlan lowered her arm and looked down, feeling she did not deserve to even look upon him. "No, you have every right," she said, sniffling. "I betrayed you."

"Yes, you did," he said with thick resentment and anger.

She smiled softly. At least they agreed on something, even if it was just her crime. Turning, she looked down off the cliff at the bottom. Maybe she should just dive off. It would certainly solve a lot of their problems. Richard would no longer have to put up with having her around. Ashley would be better for it, because then she would not have a mother who could never love her. Spirits, even the Midlands would be better off without her as the Mother Confessor.

"Kahlan, don't," Richard spoke up, his voice heavy with concern.

Arching her neck, she looked over her shoulder at him, gazing up into his warm brown eyes. His brow was creased with worry and she smiled softly at that. He must still care, even if it was just a little. But then she lowered her brow and turned back to the edge. "It would be better this way," she managed to choke out.

"No, it won't," Richard said firmly.

Kahlan shook her head. "It would!" she insisted. "You wouldn't have to put up with me. Ashley wouldn't have a mother who didn't love her. And the Midlands would not have a failure as a Mother Confessor."

She inched closer to the edge, gazing down at the rocks below, wondering how much it would hurt. Her lips began to tremble and she bit her lower lip, trying to stop them.

"That's the easy way out, Kahlan," she heard him say. "The coward's way. And I never thought you were a coward."

Kahlan clenched her jaw and tried to stop the tears. Life was just too painful. If she could never have Richard's love, then what was the point of living? Spirits, a month ago she had just realized that they could be together… well, that is if he still loved her. If he didn't, then he would be confessed.

"Why does it matter to you whether I live or die?" she snapped. Kahlan waited for him to answer, but he did not. "I thought so." She took a step forward, prepared to jump and end her wretched life, when she heard him let out a cry.

"Kahlan, you can't, please don't!" he cried. Ashley started to bawl as well. She too was sensing the distress and anguish in Richard's voice.

"Why not!" came her retort. She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes, centering herself, ready to meet the Keeper.

"Because I love you!" Richard screamed.

Kahlan gasped, spinning around to see him standing there with tears streaking down his face. "You… you still love me, after what I've done?" she inquired, half of her not believing it.

"Spirits, I'll always love you, Kahlan," Richard said, adjusting Ashley in his arms, trying to calm the little confessor. "I might be as mad as a caged Shadrin at you right now, but I still love you. I can't help but love you."

"But… why?" she furrowed her brow, not knowing why she was asking him this. She should just be happy that he still felt anything for her.

"You never fall out of love," Richard said. "At least, not when you truly love someone deeply, with all your heart and being. Why do you think I had to leave? Because I hated you and never wanted to see you again?"

Kahlan just stood there was her mouth gaping, not knowing what to say.

"It was too painful seeing you with another man," Richard avowed. "Especially when I love you so much."

"You… you love me," was all Kahlan could say, murmuring it out of her lips, half expecting him to then deny it all. But he didn't. He looked at her with his warm brown eyes.

"Yes, I love you, Kahlan," he said. "Why do you think I'm so angry?"

"Richard," Kahlan stepped forward. "I love you, too. Taking a mate was the hardest thing I had to do. I wanted it to be you. But… spirits, Richard, you know that I could never confess you. I could never do that to you. I wanted your love, not your mindless devotion."

"I know," he said, gritting his teeth. "But still, spirits Kahlan, did you have to give in to the council's demands so easily?"

Kahlan sniffled, wondering if he would ever forgive her. "I… I'm sorry," she said, looking down, averting her eyes. "I don't deserve your love."

"Perhaps," Richard agreed. "But whether I like it or not, I love you. And no matter how I try not to, I can't stop."

It pained her heart to hear that he had tried to stop loving her, but then it beat all the more to hear that it could not be stopped. And, even though he was bitter and angry at her, which he had every right to be, he could still find it somewhere within his heart to love her.

"Come," Richard said, gesturing with a nod of his head. "Let's go back. It's getting dark, and it's cold at night. Ashley is going to need the warmth of the fire. Spirits, we all are, when winter comes."

Winter. Kahlan had not thought of that. She had been a fool to travel so close to the arrival of winter. But part of her was glad she had, because Richard could not just simply send them away. The mountain roads would be clod with snow soon, impassable. He would have to allow her to remain. She hoped that during the cold winter their love could warm and then bloom again in the thaw.

Wrapping her arms around her shivering frame against the bitter cold, Kahlan followed Richard. He held Ashley tightly to him, and she could hear her daughter cooing softly. Kahlan sighed, wishing she could have that affect on her own flesh and blood, but it seemed futile. They walked in silence for a while, and Kahlan watched as her breath fogged in front of her. Richard would occasionally throw a glance or two in her direction, before continuing.

"Richard," Kahlan spoke up, hating the gaping silence. "I never stopped loving you."

"I know," he said, as if it was obvious.

"Then why did you leave?" she asked, stunned.

"I told you," Richard groaned, not stopping. "It was too painful for me to see you with another man."

"What about now?" Kahlan asked.

This question made him stop. He lowered his brow and stared up into the twilight sky as the stars began to come out. "I don't know, yet," he spoke after a long sigh. "I still have some thinking to do."

Kahlan gave a nod and they continued walking. She rubbed her arms, trying to keep them warm. Then she thought of something, and did not know why it had come to her mind. She knitted her eyebrows together, debating on whether or not to ask, not knowing how she'd react.

"Richard?" she tentatively spoke.

"Yes."

"Did you sleep with Cara?"

Again he stopped. His shoulders stiffened and he turned and looked at her like she had gone mad. "What?" he choked.

"Because if you did," Kahlan brushed her hair back, taking in a deep breath. "I… I'd understand. It would only be fair."

Richard raised his eyebrows at her and his expression told her that he thought she'd gone completely mental. "No," he finally answered, and turned back, starting to walk again. Kahlan followed behind, waiting for him to continue. She could tell by the way his lips purse that there was more to it than just that. Seeming to sense she knew, he sighed and continued. "I held out for you during the quest for the Stone of Tears, despite her advances, which were quite tempting by the way. And then… last week, the day before you gave birth, Cara tried to seduce me again. She kissed me and pulled my hands to her breasts."

Kahlan closed her eyes, wishing she had never asked. "Why didn't you give in?"

"You," Richard answered frankly. "When she kissed me it was not her that I was thinking of, but you."

"Me?"

"Yes," Richard said. "As I've said, I still love you. I could never have sex with someone I don't love. It's just not in my character," he added that giving her a glare. She took it in stride, knowing she deserved the remark. She had had no love for Dragen, yet she had slept with him.

"Well," Kahlan racked in a deep breath, feeling the cold air fill her longs. "I think you should."

"What!" Richard stopped and turned back to look at her, his brow creased in confusion. He adjusted Ashley in his arms and stared up at Kahlan, now with the look that said he felt for sure that she'd gone insane.

"It would only be right," Kahlan asserted, for the first time since all this happened being able to call up her confessor's face. She hid her own torment at telling him this. "I… I slept with another. So it is only right that you do the same."

"Kahlan, no," Richard said. "I told you, I don't love Cara in that way."

"That's not the point," Kahlan said. "I betrayed you. You have to sleep with Cara to get back at me!"

"NO! I don't!" Richard snarled. "Just drop it, Kahlan. You may have cheated on me, but I will not betray my own heart! My love is not so easily pushed aside." He clenched his jaw. Kahlan whimpered. Spirits, she'd made him angry again. He let out a frustrated breath. "Enough of this, all right. I'm not going to sleep with Cara, nor am I ever going to, okay?" He adjusted Ashley in his arms. "And if you must know, I have never shared my bed with anyone since I've met you, Kahlan. And if I had never found the way to be with you… then… then…" he stopped talking, his mouth dropping as he just realized he had said something he had not intended

"Wait! You said, 'if I had never found _the_ way'," Kahlan cried out, emphasizing the word "the." She skipped down the rocks to stand before him. She looked into his eyes and saw the truth. Spirits, he had found the way. Just like she had. He knew how they could be together.

"I… I…," Richard stammered.

"I know, too," Kahlan said, looking at him.

Richard's eyebrows grew wide. "What? When?"

"Last month," she said, looking down. "That's why I came out here. I… I wanted to tell you."

"Well," he lowered his brow, seemingly intent on remaining angry. "It's a bit late for that, isn't it? You had already gotten with child by then."

"But you love me!" she yelled after him as he stalked away, clutching Ashley to his chest. "And I love you!" Kahlan ran after him. "We can be together, Richard! Nothing is stopping us."

Richard let out a growl and spun around on her. "Stop it, Kahlan! Now!" he spoke with gritted teeth. "That future for us was destroyed when you conceived Ashley."

"But… but I love you," she whimpered, feeling tears trying to break through.

"I know," he said, in a softer and somewhat kinder voice, but still laced in resentment and anger. "But it's over, Kahlan. We may both love each other, but it can never be. Zedd told me that at the very beginning. It can never be."

Kahlan lowered her head and sobbed. Richard stood for a moment, looking at her, before turning back around and walking out into the clearing towards the cabin. Kahlan wiped her cheeks, and bit her lower lip, forcing on her confessor's mask, and then followed him, determined that it was not over. They had winter to get through. Somehow, someway, she was determined to get him back. She would use everything at her disposal to do so. Having Richard's love was more important to her than anything else in this world and she was willing to do whatever it took to get it back.


	12. Uncomfortable Evening

**Chapter 12 – Uncomfortable Evening**

Richard added another log to the fire and stoked it with the iron poker, reigniting the flames. Jennsen brought the pot over and hung it from the hook, pouring in some water. She looked at him disapprovingly, a little irritated with having to cook another supper so late. He watched as she returned to the kitchen counter and began cutting up some vegetables to add to the soup. Richard gave her a grateful smile, and kissed her on the top of her head, chuckling into her red hair. That was enough to make his sister smile. She could never stay mad at him.

"You should have told us you were going to take a walk," she said, as she continued chopping up the vegetables.

Richard let out a sigh as he took up a position beside her to work on the remaining pheasant. "To be honest, I wasn't expecting to be that long," he said.

Jennsen narrowed her eyes and cast a glance towards the door leading to his bedroom, where Kahlan was right now with Ashley. "Because of _her_?" she asked.

"She has a name," Richard said, letting out a frustrated breath. He had said a lot of stuff he had not intended. Secretly, he was glad that she had come to him. It was the proof that she still cared about him. But it killed him that it had taken her so long. When he had left Aydindril, he had privately wished she would follow him. But she didn't. She had stayed in Aydindril for two more months before finally followed him.

"I'm sorry," Jennsen said, lowering her eyes. "I know it's none of my business, but I love you, Richard. You're my brother, and I don't like seeing you in pain. She cheated on you, you should be angry with her. I don't understand why you keep standing up and defending her."

"Well, for one thing, we were never a couple, Jennsen," he said. "I mean, we knew how the other felt, but at the time, there was no way for us to really be together."

"_At the time_?" she echoed, furrowing her brow. "Has something changed?"

Richard raised his eyebrows, realizing he had just revealed more than he had planned. He looked over at his sister as he cut into the pheasant's breastplate, shredding the meat into pieces that could be added to the stew. "Yes," he spoke hastily, hoping that that would be enough.

Jennsen stopped, looking at him oddly. "Is that why you took so long?" she narrowed her eyes. "We're you two…?"

"What? No," Richard felt his cheeks flush. "Spirits, Jennsen, we had the baby with us the whole time. And besides, even if we wanted to, it's too early after the birth." All right, now he was blushing like mad. Sometimes her youth and naiveté startled him, and others times Richard would forget that Jennsen was still a maiden. Not that that wasn't a good thing. He wanted Jennsen to wait for such things until she was a little older and hopefully married. But that was just the big brother in him talking. Though, her lack of knowledge about certain things always became clear when she tried talking to him about it. And then there were other times that she would surprise him.

"I know!" she snapped. "But there are other things you two could be doing… I'm not as innocent as you sometimes think, Richard."

Richard furrowed his brow, becoming concerned. "You're still a…?"

"Yes, don't worry," she chided, smiling, though still modest enough to blush. "I haven't done anything shameful or such. But I've learned that there are other ways to please a man beside spreading your legs."

"Oh…," Richard was growing uncomfortable with this conversation. He did not like talking about this sort of stuff with his sister. "And how'd you learned this?"

"Cara told me," Jennsen stated matter-of-factly.

Richard nearly coughed. He was thankful he had not been eating or drinking, otherwise there would be a mess to clean up right now. Jennsen knitted her eyebrows, confused by his reaction. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves wondering how he was going to even be able to look at his sister after she got married, knowing the dirty things that Cara had, no doubt, planted in her sweet little head.

"Well?" Jennsen asked, as she took the chopped up vegetables and chunks of pheasant meat, adding them to the boiling water, and mixing in some spices as well.

"What?" Richard asked, rubbing his forehead, trying to clear his mind of images he did not like having. He shuddered; he was going to have to have a talk with Cara.

Jennsen looked back at him and gave a big smile. "You guys came back in together. And you both looked extremely flushed," she said. "You must have done something."

"Nothing happen, Jennsen," Richard raised his hands and slumped down into the chair.

"You're lying, something did happen, tell me," her brow creased in concern, seeing his dejected appearance.

Richard groaned and rubbed his face. "Okay," he gave in. "We… we talked is all."

"Come on, you did more than just talked," Jennsen said, looking over her shoulder as she continued to stir the contents of the pot.

"We… we told each other how we felt," he went on. "How we both still love one another. And… and that we had both figured out a way past her confessor powers."

Jennsen's eyebrows rose up. "Really? You've found a way?" she question.

"Yes," Richard said. "But… it can never happen, Jennsen."

"I know, I know, she betrayed you," she nodded, turning back to the pot. "But still, you must have been tempted."

Richard stared at her feeling uncomfortable. "How's the stew?" he asked, seeking to avoid the topic. Jennsen gave a knowing look, then turned and inspected it.

"It's done," she informed him.

Richard stood and picked up two bowls and spoons. He quickly poured them and made his escape, hearing Jennsen giggle behind him. His face must be bright pink from the embarrassment of it all. He was going to have to remember that Jennsen was not as naïve or innocent as he had thought. She was a devious little thing. Who knows what else Cara might have told her?

As he pushed past the door, and entered his bedroom, Richard juggled the bowls in his hands, trying not to spill. Kahlan was sitting on the edge of the bed and held up her fingers to her lips, pointing with her eyes towards the crib he had made a week ago. There, sleeping soundly, wrapped up in a bundle, was Ashley. Richard smiled, and nodded with his head for Kahlan to follow him. She bit her lower lip and furrowed her brow, looking down for a moment, before getting up and following him back out into the kitchen.

Richard was glad that Jennsen had already left, and he sat the bowls down on the table. Kahlan took the seat closest to the bedroom door, while Richard sat across from her. Slowly they began to eat. Richard watched as she would scoop up some of the stew and delicately sip at the broth before parting her lips ever so slightly to get at the vegetables and pheasant meat. He had trouble not staring. He never knew watching her eat could be so sensual.

She blinked, noticing him staring. "What is it?" she asked, furrowing her brow in confusion.

"Nothing," he said, shaking his head and returning his attention back to his bowl, feeling uncomfortable.

Richard ate quickly, not really paying attention, as he kept his eyes locked on Kahlan. She, in turn, kept her eyes locked on his. It was strange, staring at each other over the table, watching as the other ate. He still felt the strong connection between them. And he wondered if Kahlan felt it as well. When he finished his bowl and pushed it aside, he leaned his elbows on the table and rested his chin in his hands.

"Kahlan…," he spoke softly at first.

"Yes?" she asked after taking a delicate sip.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?" she asked, knitting her eyebrows together.

"Before, while we were hiking back, I said some things I regret," Richard said slowly, thinking before each word, wanting to make it very clear to her what he meant. "I do still love you, and care for you, but I'm not ready for any relationship other than friendship."

Kahlan swallowed and looked at him mournfully. He knew she had been hoping for more, but that was just too much to ask for right now. He did not blame her for taking so long to figure out how they could be together. Spirits, he had just found it out the day before Ashley was born. And, though she thought he did not understand why she had taken a mate, he did. And the fact that he just left her there in Aydindril while he went out looking for the Stone of Tears had probably not helped matters for the distraught confessor.

He should have left Zedd with her. If so, perhaps the wizard could have counseled her, and prevented her from taking a mate. He knew deep down that in her heart, she had not betrayed him. What she had done was for duty, not love. And he did believe her when she said she had found no pleasure in it. But, still, it was just hard to accept it all.

"Alright," she gave a slight nod, looking defeated. "If that is what you want."

"It is," he said, feeling terrible when it looked like she was going to cry. Richard cleared his throat and changed the subject. "I see you managed to get Ashley to sleep."

"Yes," Kahlan said, seeming to sigh with relief at the change in topic. "She is a stubborn little girl." She looked down and played her spoon around in her half emptied bowl. "Richard… can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why don't you hate her?" she asked, looking up, her blue eyes misty.

Richard frowned, confused at why Kahlan did not know. He thought it was obvious. He raised a hand, gesticulating as he spoke. "She's innocent of any wrong doing, Kahlan. Sure she may be a reminder of something I don't like, but she did not ask to be that," he explained, then leaned forward. "The question I have, is why don't _you_ love her?"

"What?" Kahlan gasped, looking terrified.

"Don't play coy with me, Kahlan," Richard admonished, shaking a disapproving finger at her. "I know you too well. And I can tell that you really haven't shown your own daughter that much love."

"I know," Kahlan lowered her head, ashamed. "I'm a terrible person. First I betray you, and then I can't even show my daughter any love. But Richard," she looked up, her lips trembling. "It's so hard… Sometimes, when I see you holding her, and the way she responds to you… oh, how I wish that she was your daughter and not another's."

Richard gave a nod. "That is not _her_ fault Kahlan," he said. "It's _yours_. Do not punish her for your mistakes."

Kahlan gave a nod. "Yes, Richard."

He raised an eyebrow. She spoke like he was a stern father talking to a disobedient daughter, one who sought to redeem herself in her father's eyes. "Well," he sat back, crossing his arms over his chest. "You've taken the first step."

"Huh?"

"You managed to get her to sleep," he said. "I'm proud of you. You actually took the time to sooth her to sleep, instead of just handing her over to me to do it."

"Really? You're proud?" she asked, looking like his approval was the only thing she needed to feel confident in herself again.

"Yes," Richard nodded, slightly thankful he did not have to do that chore tonight. He'd been the one doing it for most of the week. He stood and picked up his bowl. He reached for hers. "Are you done?" She nodded, so he took it and placed both in the washbowl for later cleaning.

Kahlan stood and tuck some of her hair behind an ear. She opened her mouth, but then closed it, changing her mind. Her eyes looked down. "Good night," she said.

"Good night, Kahlan," he said. "We'll talk more later… I promise."

She gave a tentative nod, looking distressed. He shook his head and turned to her, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I mean it, Kahlan," he said, almost losing himself in her eyes. "I'm going to teach you how to be a good mother to your daughter. And… and we'll discuss the future."

"So you are not completely writing us off?" she asked hopefully, looking up.

Richard sighed and gave a nod, admitting as much out loud. "The future is not set in stone," he said. "Let's just take it easy, alright? For now, we're friends. Agreed?"

Kahlan swallowed and nodded. "Agreed," she said, giving him a weak smile.

Richard gave her shoulder another reassuring squeeze before she went into the bedroom. He closed the door gently, and turned around letting out a deep sigh. It had taken all he could muster to simply not take her into his arms and kiss her. He loved her so much, but he could not simply take her back, not after what she had done. He still needed more time to come to grips with it. Taking a deep breath and racking his fingers through his hair, Richard went to bed, hoping that tomorrow would be a better day.


	13. Lessons

**Chapter 13 – Lessons**

Kahlan woke up with a start, hearing her daughter crying for her. She slipped out from beneath the covers and rushed for the little crib Richard had made. Ashley's face was contorted in a fierce wail. Kahlan frantically scooped down and picked her daughter up in her arms. Her heart jumped when the moment she brought Ashley up she quieted a bit. Her daughter was finally starting to respond to her. Perhaps it was because she had started taking Richard's words to heart. She was no longer blaming Ashley for being born. It was not her daughter's fault. She had not asked to become the reminder of her mother's sins.

Returning to the bed, Kahlan rocked Ashley gently in her arms. She pulled the blankets over her legs and sat up, adjusting herself as she opened her blouse. Her little confessor went silent the moment she saw the breast, her little hands reaching out for it greedily. Kahlan shifted her arms and positioned Ashley, arching her neck down to watch as her daughter began to suckle with gusto. Ashley had gone to sleep late last night, and part of that was Kahlan's fault. She should not have stormed off like that. Richard had been forced to follow her.

But their conversation afterwards, lightened Kahlan's heart. Richard still loved her and he knew how they could be together, just as she did. And with that love protecting him, he could not be confessed. But then he had said it was over, which crushed her spirit. It had taken all she could do to just put on her confessor's face and mask her grief at that statement. When they returned to the cabin, she went into his bedroom and put Ashley to sleep for the first time. She had been so proud that she forgot about supper until Richard came.

Their next conversation over supper was a little easier, but it was also hard to hear him say that he just wanted to be friends. However, he ended that conversation on a positive note, telling her that the future was not yet written and that they would see where it led. Kahlan prayed to the good spirits that the path led to her and Richard getting back together. Though giving birth had been more painful than she had thought it would be, she would gladly suffer through it again to give Richard a child. Spirits, she'd suffer through it her entire life if it meant Richard would be with her.

A soft rapping at the door called her thoughts away from yesterday. "Come in," Kahlan spoke up in a soft voice. When she looked up, her heart began hammering for release in her chest from whom she saw.

Richard eased through the door, entering the room, and closing it behind him. He looked well rested, and she was glad. Slowly, he stepped across the room and climbed up on the bed, sitting down next to her. He reached over and ran his fingers through Ashley's mass of dark hair. Her daughter backed away from her breast for a moment to smile up at Richard before descending back down and suckling happily.

"Did she wake you?" Kahlan asked, running her own hands through her daughter's hair, loving how it was just as dark as hers, with no hints that it was going to be blond, like her father's.

"No, I was already awake," he said, his eyes glued on the little confessor suckling on her mother's breast. Kahlan liked it when Richard was with her when she breastfed. Somehow, it made her feel calmer and relax.

"I… I can make you some breakfast when I'm done with Ashley," Kahlan offered.

"No, that's all right," Richard replied, turning his eyes up to her. Kahlan almost melted in his warm brown orbs. They were no longer filled with resentment, though she could still see some of the pain and grief trying to hide in the depths behind golden flecks. "Besides, I've already made it."

"You made breakfast?" Kahlan raised her eyebrows.

"I'm not completely useless, you know?" he grinned, smiling easily for the first time around her.

He shifted and leaned down to kiss Ashley's head. Kahlan caught her breath, watching how close his head got to her breasts. So much like her dreams, seeing him burying his head in her breasts. Richard backed away and patted Ashley's little head, then looked up at Kahlan. For a moment, she thought he might kiss her as well, but then he shifted and slipped off the bed.

"Just stay there," Richard instructed. "I'll get you some breakfast. And then," he added with a big grin, his eyes beaming. "We'll begin our lessons."

Richard was as good as his word. Not that that surprised her or anything, Kahlan always knew that if Richard promised to do something, he would do it. And he promised to help her become a better mother to Ashley, and he kept his promise. He spent the entire day with her, taking her to Trunt Lake with little Ashley, mainly for privacy than anything else. Kahlan knew that both Jennsen and Cara still disapproved of her being there. She understood. She would probably have felt the same.

They talked about small inconsequential things that had no bearing on their relationship. It was nice, just to make small talk with him. For a while, Kahlan was able to forget what had happened, and to just enjoy her time with Richard and Ashley by the lake, if only for a short time, but it was nice. And at least they were talking. It was such a relief to finally get out of the house and just talk with Richard. She had missed his voice so much, more so than she realized. He showed her how best to hold Ashley, and told her some of the things he did that he had discovered the little confessor liked.

What made the day great was that Richard had packed a basket for a picnic lunch. And at midday, they sat by the shore, Richard and her, with Ashley in her arms, and ate. He showed her how to hold Ashley in one arm, which Kahlan greatly appreciated; otherwise she would have had to be completely dependent on him to feed her. After they ate, they sat and watched the water gently ripple in the wind. Ashley became fussy and demanded feeding. Kahlan adjusted her daughter in her arms and opened her blouse, not even thinking, just moving on instinct. Within moments, her chest was exposed and Ashley was greedily suckling. Richard scooted over on the blanket and moved one of the flaps back over her, covering the half of her chest that was not in demand at the moment. Kahlan smiled, she could almost pretend that they were a little family out for a picnic.

Kahlan enjoyed the next two weeks immensely. She and Richard spent more and more time together. And they actually spoke on friendly terms. There were no arguments or accusations. It was like they were getting to know each other all over again. And after each day, Kahlan got to sleep with her daughter, actually sleep with her, like Richard had been doing. Richard had showed her what he had done, so she did the same. Kahlan would rest on the bed, cradling Ashley in her arms and running her fingers through her daughter's tangled mass of dark hair. Ashley would smile up at her and make soft cooing sounds. They were finally bonding, and Kahlan loved it. She loved her daughter!

And she had Richard to thank for that. If it had not been for him, she would not have taken the time to bond with her daughter. Only being three weeks old, Ashley just wanted to sleep and eat, but sometimes she was alert enough to play with. Kahlan would have fun with her daughter, showing her the world outside. She would show Ashley the garden, and point out the different plants and tell her about them. Sometimes, when Richard was chopping wood, Kahlan would sit in the grass nearby holding Ashley in her lap, helping her sit up so she could watch, as well. She did not know what her daughter saw when she gazed up at Richard, all sweaty and gorgeous, but Kahlan knew what _she_ saw and felt.

Richard wiped his brow with his arm and removed his shirt, tossing it aside, looking over and smiling at them. Kahlan would help Ashley wave back at him, and she smiled, watching in delight as Richard's muscles flexed and moved under his tight tanned skin as he raised the axe over his head and swung it down on the log. It would clop down in two pieces and he would bend over, tossing the piece into the large pile. When he was not with her, giving his lessons on parenting, he was beginning to spend more time chopping wood, saying that they were going to need it for the fast approaching winter. Kahlan could already feel it's fingers on her neck, and she had to wrapped Ashley up especially tight to keep her warm from the bitter cold.

As for the others, well, after spending almost a month in the cabin with them, Jennsen was finally starting to warm up to her, but the Mord'Sith was still aloof and sulky. Kahlan had a feeling that Cara had started to believe that Richard was finally going to be hers, only to then have Kahlan ruin it all by showing up unannounced, and in the Mord'Sith's opinion, unwelcomed.

Later that evening, before supper, Kahlan was breastfeeding Ashley when a knock came from the door. She shifted her clothes, covering herself and called for them to enter. The door opened and Richard poked his head in, looking exhausted. She smiled as he slunk into the room, closing the door behind him. He climbed up onto the bed and slumped down onto the mattress beside her, resting his head on a pillow. Kahlan relaxed her hold on the flap of her blouse, letting it fall, exposing herself. She pried Ashley away from her right breast and shifted her to the left. Ashley made a little gurgling noise, but soon contented herself with the new breast before her. Kahlan giggle slightly as her daughter's tiny hands came up and grabbed at her, trying to pull herself closer as she suckled greedily.

Richard shifted onto his side, and rose himself up on his elbow, his warm brown eyes watching. "She's a good eater," he said. "I bet she's going to be a fighter, just like her mother."

Kahlan clenched her jaw. Some fighter she turned out to be. She hadn't even resisted the council when they demanded that she took a mate. However, not wanting to spoil his jovial mood, Kahlan kept silent on that point. "She has you to thank for that, Richard," she said instead, looking down at his handsome face, basking in the lazy smile he gave her. "If you hadn't been there, I don't know if I could have given birth."

Richard gave a shrug. "Gus would have eventually figured it out," he said.

"You're being modest, Richard," Kahlan admonished. "You were great. You were calm and collected, and… and you didn't let your personal feelings about me to get in the way of delivering Ashley. You even gave her a name, when I could not."

Richard took a deep breath and sat up. He looked into her eyes with his deep brown eyes, his gaze one of complete and utter devotion. It was almost a little frightening, seeing such a gaze from the man she loved. Kahlan had only ever seen that look in the eyes of confessed men. Never, in her entire life, had she seen such natural devotion that was not forced or created through magic. It was a little unsettling. But then it was gone, replaced with a tad of grief and sorrow mixed with anguish.

"I… I'll bring you some supper," Richard said, slipping off the bed.

"Richard… wait," Kahlan called after him, staring into the back of his head. His shoulders tensed and she could see his chest heave as he sucked in a deep breath.

"Yes?" he said, looking over his shoulder.

"Why don't you sleep in here tonight," Kahlan suggested. "After all, this is your bedroom, and this is your bed. Surely, after such a long day of chopping wood, you deserve the comfort of your own bed."

"Perhaps," he admitted. "But not the company. I'll be fine in the guestroom."

Kahlan knitted her eyebrows together, trying to hold back the tears at what he said. She thought they were finally moving forward, but apparently she was wrong. He would spend time with her yes, but wouldn't even share a bed with her, even if it had nothing to do with sex. Oh spirits, how she missed him. She remembered when Zedd was away, either hiding a Box of Orden or checking up on Jennsen, his brother Thaddicus, or the resistance in the area, Kahlan and Richard would push their bedrolls together and snuggle close for warmth during the cold nights. Kahlan wanted that again, even if there was no hint at anything besides that. She wanted to feel his warm body next to hers again.

"But… Richard," she squeaked out in a pleading voice.

Richard let out a sigh. "Kahlan," he groaned softly. "It's too early for this. Yes, I enjoy spending time with you, but to move beyond that right now is just too fast." He lowered his brow. "If you want me in your bed, you're going to have to do a lot more than flash your breasts at me. I've seen them. Granted, they're nice, but I—"

"Nice!" she hooted at his comment.

"Huh?" Richard turned fully around, furrowing his brow, confused.

"Just nice!" Kahlan huffed.

"Kahlan, I…," Richard raised a hand to try and quiet her.

Ashley let go of Kahlan's breast and squirmed around to look up at Richard. For the first time since they had been here, the little confessor gave Richard a heated little glare with her little blue eyes. It was like her daughter was defending her. Ashley certainly liked her breasts; she spent so much time suckling on them. But Kahlan wanted Richard to suckle them as well, just in a different manner than her daughter.

Richard seemed to take note of the little confessor's stare. While he looked at them, his warm brown eyes seemed to water. "Please, Richard," Kahlan murmured. "I'm not asking you to make love to me or anything, but you are exhausted, and it is going to be very cold tonight. Just… just stay for the warmth. Like before, when we were fighting against Darken Rahl."

He lowered his brow, his eyes looking around as he thought.

"If not for me, then for Ashley," she put in, hoping that that would help make him decide. "Help me keep her warm." Ashley seemed to like that idea and let out a happy little gurgle.

Richard looked at them. "Seems like I don't have a choice," he conceded, looking at Kahlan. "But just don't think this means everything is forgiven and forgot. We still have much to discuss."

Kahlan nodded, not expecting anything besides an extra body to keep the bed warm. Richard inclined his head, indicating he believed the matter had been decided and agreed upon. He left and retrieved some food for them and returned. They ate in silence, all the while, Kahlan watched Richard for any sign he was letting his barriers down, but she saw no opening. She sighed inwardly, knowing that her idea was not going to work.

Laying Ashley between them, to show him that she was not planning on anything other than sleep to be happening in this bed tonight, they slipped under the blankets and went to bed.


	14. Setbacks

**Chapter 14 – Setbacks**

Yawning, he opened his eyes and was greeted by a little face smiling up at him. Richard adjusted himself onto his side and reached out to tickle Ashley's chin, getting a light giggle in response. He looked up over Ashley and frowned, not finding her mother. Richard scooped the little confessor up in his arms and sat up on the edge of the bed, knitting his eyebrows together as he looked about the room.

Slowly, he stood, cradling Ashley in one arm as he walked over to the window and looked out at the garden below. Jennsen was rushing about, quickly covering some plants and harvesting what she could. A fine lace of powder covered the ground, and the air was filled with tiny flecks of white as more snow started to come down. Richard raised his eyebrows. It had finally come. Winter.

Ashley let out a little squeal and grabbed the pendant around his neck, tugging at it, causing his head to jerk down. He laughed softly and looked down at her, smiling. She was so beautiful. He could never feel anything but love for this little human, even if she was not his child. He could never blame her for how she had been conceived. Thinking about that, he turned back to the bed, his brow creasing in worry. He could see the faint outlines of where Kahlan had slept, and her pillow still held the proof of her head having rested there. He stepped back over and stared down at the empty mattress, very aware that he could still smell the lingering scent of Kahlan.

He closed his eyes and took a big whiff of it. It was not perfume or any other sort of fragrance; it was just Kahlan and her alone. He had memorized that scent long ago, back in the forests of Westland when they had just fought off the squadron of D'Haran soldiers at the now long gone barrier. He had shocked her immensely when he destroyed the Book of Counted Shadows, least it fall into the hands of Darken Rahl. After their fierce battle, he had turned towards her, finding her sprawled on the ground, looking up at him in awe. He held out a hand, and helped her to her feet. And… and then they hugged one another.

He didn't know if it was because of the fierce battle or the way her dress seemed to compliment her figure so well, or the way her cleavage rose and fell with each single one of her breaths, all covered in glistening sweat, but the moment they embraced, his blood pulsed wildly and he flushed with sudden arousal. He had to bury his head in her long gorgeous hair to hide his face, and when he did so, he breathed in her scent, smelling it for the first time. And, like the virile young man he was, he memorized it, telling himself he would not rest until the owner of that scent was his.

But then fate had other plans. First, it threw her confessing powers at him as a barrier. Then it was the Keeper of the Underworld that came, threatening the world with his banelings and screelings, bent on the destruction of all life. And so it was, that Richard's fear for her safety caused him to make one of—if not—the biggest mistake of his life. He left her in Aydindril, thinking she'd be safe, not knowing that doing so would create the largest and toughest barrier out of them all: Kahlan taking a mate. The horror at having discovered that, still permeated throughout his entire being. The senses of betrayal and grief still clung to his soul. He still did not know if he could ever forgive her, if he could ever love her the same way, knowing she had been with another.

As if sensing his brooding thoughts, and seeking to distract him and return the attention to herself, Ashley mewled softly and puckered her lips. Richard narrowed his eyes, recognizing the signs. The baby was hungry.

"Alright, alright," he whispered soothingly, rubbing his finger along her little cheek. "Let's see if we can find your mother." The little confessor seemed to concur with the idea and continued moving her little lips demanding her mother's milk.

Richard ducked through the door and into the kitchen. The only person he found there was Cara. The Mord'Sith was in the process of finishing her breakfast. She looked up when he entered and tried to suppress her frown, no doubt disapproving of the fact he had spent the night with Kahlan. He ignored it. In truth it was none of her business what he did with Kahlan. That was his own. He would do as he pleased. It was his life, not hers. He adjusted Ashley in his arms and stepped over to the table, looking around.

"Where's Kahlan?" he asked.

Cara narrowed her eyes, and looked down, glaring into the dregs of her porridge. "The confessor's taking a bath," she replied, her voice filled with bitterness.

Richard gave her a look, a simple look that told her she needed to change her attitude. He moved around the table and walked into the hall. He found the door, adjusted Ashley into one arm, and reached for the door latch. Then he stopped and shook his head. It would be incredibly rude of him to simply open the door and walk in on her. He took a breath, surprised at himself, and knocked on the wooden door.

"Yes?" came her voice, so delicate and lovely to his ears.

To his surprise, the moment he heard her voice he let out a sigh of relief. Richard had no idea that he had been so anxious at not seeing her by his side when he woke up. It was not like they were a couple again, even if he did love her, they were just friends. And that is what he wanted, right? Or was he just fooling himself into believing that he still did not desire her.

"It's me," he called through the door, feeling his voice rise a bit like a schoolboy being caught staring at his first crush. He clenched his jaw and groaned inwardly, amazed at himself. He may wish to try and deny his feelings for Kahlan, but his feelings seemed to have a different plan.

There was an awkward pause before she answered. "Come in."

Richard pulled the latch and pushed the door open, stepping into the washroom he had constructed. He had wanted to ensure they had a complete washroom before winter struck, so he had taken the time to finish it, accomplishing the task just a few days ago by covering the roof with some wild grass and mud, before adding some bark on top to help keep the cold out. And it appeared Kahlan was the first to take advantage of the new luxury. He let out a breath, realizing that was probably another reason for Cara's animosity towards the confessor. Richard had originally started the bath for Cara… but that had been before Kahlan had arrived.

When he entered, the room was warmer than the rest of the cabin, and steam rose from the tub. He blinked, looking down, seeing Kahlan was still immersed in the warmed water. She turned around and looked up at him. Her dark hair was soaked and lay thickly around her face, framing her delicate features. Her eyes shone in a bright blue that was startling, taking his breath away. His mouth involuntarily dropped and he could not help but stare at the beauty before him.

"Richard?" Kahlan furrowed her brow as she looked up at him.

"What? Oh, yes," Richard shook his head and stepped in, closing the door. "I woke to find you gone… And I… I was worried." Kahlan smiled, no doubt pleased to hear that. He allowed a lazy grin to work its way onto his lips. "And… Ashley's hungry," he added.

Kahlan gave a nod and unceremoniously stood up out of the water, completely exposing her entire body to him. All Richard could do was gawk, unable to resist the urge to look upon her. So long had he wished to see her like this, so long he had dreamt of it. As his eyes roamed, he thought he caught a faint smile forming on her lips. And he was surprised when she did not make a move to quickly cover herself. She did not seem to mind him looking. It was a completely different attitude to the one she had displayed when he had caught her bathing by the waterfall… but that was almost two years ago. A lot had changed since then.

He swallowed, half amazed at the realization of how long it had been. It was not just her attitude that had changed. Kahlan's breasts were slightly heavier, and not as firm as before, but he did not mind, they were still beautiful. The skin around her middle was not as tight, having little stretch marks running up and down from where her belly had been swollen with child. Almost a permanent reminder of what had happened. But for some reason, he found his eyes did not care. Her beauty had not diminished since giving birth; it only seemed to have heightened. Richard was literally speechless. He had never gazed upon such a perfect specimen of womanhood.

Richard blinked, suddenly very aware that he was gawking. He turned his back to her and blushed with embarrassment. Kahlan laughed softly and he could hear the muffled sounds of her drying off with a towel. He waited for her to finish and when she called his name, Richard turned back around to see her finishing with her clothing, putting on her blouse. But she did not button it up, instead leaving it open. Kahlan held out her arms and he stepped closer, handing Ashley over. Kahlan went over to a stool and sat down, moving the flaps of her blouse aside to get better access. Ashley's little hands reached up for her mother's breasts and Richard watched as Kahlan brought the infant to her. Within moments, Ashley was suckling happily.

Kahlan tenderly stroked the back of Ashley's head, and looked up at him with her brilliant blue eyes. "Why are you blushing, Richard?" she asked him.

Richard rocked back and forth on the balls of his heels, feeling uncomfortable, and not knowing why. "I've never… never seen you—"

"Completely naked," she finished for him, giving a nod. She raised an eyebrow. "What did you think?"

"What?" Richard blinked, startled by the question. He felt his cheeks flush all the more and he knew they were turning red.

Kahlan gave him a coy smile and looked back down at her daughter as she continued to feed. "It actually isn't the first time, Richard," she said. "Remember that waterfall?" Richard swallowed past the lump in his throat and it took all his strength just to nod. "And then there was that time with that woman who was impersonating me…," she looked up, a mischievous look in her eyes. "Didn't you go skinny-dipping with her?"

"I thought it was you!" he blurted out as if he needed to defend himself, but it only caused his ears to burn with embarrassment. He turned his back to her and lowered his head, racking in a deep breath, trying to cool himself off. Why was it so difficult for him to talk to her about such things?

"It's all right," Kahlan was saying. "I understand." Her voice dropped and she sounded melancholy. "I just wished I had given in to my feelings for you back then."

Richard straightened and looked over his shoulder. "But we didn't know how we could be together back then," he said.

"I know, but still," she continued. "If I had allowed it, who knows… you already loved me back then, didn't you."

"Yes, I did," Richard said, raking his fingers through his hair. Spirits, why was she telling him this? It was agonizing being so close to her, hearing what she was saying and resisting the urge to act on them. And if she felt this way, then why did she not put up more of a fight when the council had her take a mate. He clenched his jaw and turned his back to her.

"I… I'm sorry, Richard," Kahlan called out, sensing she had overreached herself in what she had been saying. He wondered if she knew just how much he was doing battle within. It was a constant fight between his desire for her and his anger and sense of betrayal. But as of right now, the later was winning. He could not forgive her, no matter what she said.

"We're friends, Kahlan," he said, slumping his shoulders, surrendering to the feelings of betrayal. "And no more than that." He looked over his shoulder at her. "It was a mistake to share a bed. I'll sleep in my own from now on." Richard turned back and opened the door.

"But… you said that the future was not written!" Kahlan objected. "You said things could change."

"I made no promises," he said, his tone turning to an icy edge. Richard was angry that she had paraded her body before him to try and lull his senses. It was a cheap move, one more akin to something Cara would do. He could hardly believe Kahlan would stoop so low. If she wanted him back, it could not be through seduction. She had to regain his trust, and that was something that would be difficult to do, especially after today.

"Richard… please, don't go," she pleaded, her voice almost sounding like a whine to his ears.

"I'm hungry," he huffed. "I'm going to have breakfast. I'll leave some for you. When you're finished with Ashley you can come out and have some."

His nostrils flared and he slammed the door behind him. Cara was still sitting at the table and she looked like she had been eavesdropping, judging from the smug smirk on her face.

"What are you smiling about!" Richard snarled, feeling anger towards everyone.

The Mord'Sith wiped her smile off her face and stood, meeting his glare. "You should have thrown her to the wolves!" she snapped back. "She doesn't deserve your kindness or our hospitality. She has imposed on us long enough."

Richard was angry, but he was not that angry. "Winter is tightening its grip outside, Cara!" he roared, gesturing to the window and the snowflakes drifting through the wind. "I cannot send a mother and newborn out into the cold, no matter who she is, or what she did. It's just wrong!"

"Then let me take her to Hartland," Cara suggested. "She can spend the winter there. She has no right to stay here, sleeping in your bed and eating our food."

Richard's chest heaved and he gave Cara a heated stare. "Enough! I've made my decision and that's final!" he roared, all of his anger turning on the Mord'Sith. All she thought about was herself and how she wanted to seduce him. He thought he had broken past some of her barriers, teaching her the difference between right and wrong.

Cara huffed and growled. She turned and grabbed her cloak, pulling it on.

"Where are you going?" he demanded, trying to act like the Lord Rahl he never wanted to be.

"I'm going for a hunt!" she said. "Someone needs to keep our bellies full. You're so infatuated with that _whore_, that you can hardly think straight!" The Mord'Sith stormed out in a huff, leaving Richard standing behind her speechless.

Richard growled and kicked a chair. He let out a frustrated breath and narrowed his eyes, glaring spears into the wall. Cara was only making things more difficult for him. It was bad enough having Kahlan under his roof and not being able to make love to her because of how betrayed he felt. He did not need Cara reminding him of it all the time. Seething with pent up outrage over everything that had happened in the past year, Richard picked the chair up and flung it against the wall, causing it to splinter into pieces. He heard a yelp and looked up to see a startled Kahlan, her child in her arms. The child that was not his.

"What are you looking at!" he roared.

Kahlan backed up and let out a soft whimper. Ashley started wailing, yet Kahlan did not try and sooth her. Her eyes were locked on him. Richard narrowed his eyes as his chest heaved with his anger, gazing upon her, feeling the hatred and animosity he had felt that day they had returned to Aydindril and he saw her swollen belly. And for the first time that he could remember, Richard saw fear in her eyes when she looked at him.


	15. Heart of Darkness

**Chapter 15 – Heart of Darkness**

Kahlan let out a soft whimper and backed away, terrified to see the hatred in his eyes. She had only ever really seen that fury once or twice and then it was usually accompanied by the ringing of steel as the Sword of Truth met the air. However, she had never seen that glare directed at her. She clutched Ashley to her breast and continued to back away as Richard flung the table over, causing the dishes to shatter and crack on the floor. He advanced on her, his chest heaving with rage.

"Do you honestly think that parading your body before me is going to make me forget what you've done?" he seethed, spittle flying out of his mouth as he brow lowered in anger. "Do you have any idea that your body bears the mark of your betrayal? Your breasts hang heavier, filled with milk for Ashley. Your belly is soft, the skin loose and stretched. Spirits, Kahlan, I saw Ashley born! I've seen you… seen you down there! And not in the way I wanted too. Not for the first time! Not like that!"

His brow furrowed and his eyes watered.

"Answer me!" he shouted.

"Richard," she choked out. "What can I possibly say to make up for what I've done?" Kahlan allowed the tears out. "I've betrayed the only man I have ever loved. It tears me up inside to no you can never love me again. That every time you look at me, you're reminded of what I've done and the future I destroyed."

He stared at her for a moment, his eyes turning to ice. "You're right," Richard snarled. "You should never have come! There is nothing you can do or say that will make me love you in the way I did before." He turned from her and grabbed a cloak, rushing outside, leaving the door open. The icy wind sent shivers down her spine, and she quickly rushed over and closed it, not wanting Ashley to catch a chill. She turned and looked at the mess. She had never seen Richard so violently angry before.

Lowering her brow and feeling the tears running down her cheeks, she turned and went into the bedroom. She rocked Ashley in her arms, trying to sooth the wailing babe. Her baby was just as distressed as she was at Richard's sudden change in mood. Though, she could not help but wonder if she had pushed him to hard. Perhaps he didn't find her attractive anymore. Maybe she was ugly in his eyes now, and he only put up with her because of the baby.

A knock came from the door and Kahlan turned, wiping the tears from her eyes, attempting to conceal her crying. She called for them to enter, hoping it was Richard come to apologize. But when the door opened, her heart sank to see it was not him. Jennsen entered the room, her red hair framing her concerned face.

"Kahlan, what happened?" Jennsen questioned, her eyes wide in confusion. "Richard came running out. He rushed off towards the lake. I tried to talk to him, but he just shoved passed me."

Kahlan sniffled and looked down at Ashley. "It's my fault," she let out in a soft whimper.

Jennsen furrowed her brow. "How so?"

"I… I pushed him to far," Kahlan admitted, more to herself than to Richard's sister. She stepped over to the window and looked out at the falling snow. Kahlan let out a heavy sigh and looked back at Jennsen. "I love him, Jennsen. I really do. But I… I don't think he loves me anymore."

The young red haired woman stood there for a moment, mulling over her thoughts. She bit her lower lip and looked away. "I wouldn't say that," Jennsen eventually spoke up.

Kahlan looked up, tucking a strand of hair behind an ear. "What are you saying?"

"I can't claim to know Richard like you do," Jennsen said. "But he is my brother, and I've spent at least four months living with him." She fiddled with her hands and looked down. "He does love you. I can tell. He might not say it out loud, but it is clear the way he feels. I think that is why he is so torn up about the whole thing. Richard loves you, but feels betrayed at the same time. He doesn't know which way to turn. There is a mini-war, so to speak, going on inside, between the part of him that wants to forgive you and love you, and the part of him that wants to be angry and bitter."

"Well, I think the latter is winning right now," Kahlan let out a frustrated breath and turned her attention back to Ashley. Her daughter seemed to sense the somber mood growing around her and reflected that back, giving a little baby frown. Kahlan understood how she felt.

Jennsen excused herself and left her alone to her thoughts. Kahlan took Ashley to the bed and she laid down, pulling the blankets over them to shield them from the cold. After a time, Ashley went to sleep and began softly cooing. Kahlan nestled her close to her breast, not wanting to part from her child, the only being she was sure loved her. She knew what Jennsen had said, and knew it was probably true; that Richard was torn between his love and anger. She only wished that she had not permanently destroyed any possibility of rekindling the love that they had once had.

Starting to feel drowsy, herself, Kahlan reached over and pulled Richard's pillow over, smelling him upon it. She closed her eyes and slightly wept, wondering if he would ever share her bed again. She wanted so much to be with him and it ached knowing what she knew now, that there was a way. She wanted to feel him between her legs, pushing up into her core to become one with her. It had hurt with Dragen, but Kahlan had always suspected that with Richard it would feel great. Like being embraced in the arms of the Creator.

As she continued to silently sob, a single tear escaped and trickled down her cheek, landing softly on the pillow. Before long Kahlan had buried her face in the cushioned fabric, crying softly for the love she believed she had destroyed. She didn't know when sleep took her, but eventually it did.

When she awoke, the light had dimmed outside, and she didn't know what time it was. The snow was still coming down, obscuring the sun. She wondered if Richard was back and if he had checked on her, because the blankets had been adjusted to cover her more fully. A soft babbling noise pulled her attention away from her grief and she looked down at Ashley.

"Oh Ashley," Kahlan murmured, rolling onto her back and resting her baby on her chest. "What have I done? Richard should have been your father."

Ashley's tiny hands clung to her blouse as the little infant nuzzled her head into her mother's breast, asking for milk. Kahlan complied, sitting up in the bed and unbuttoning her blouse. She found some peace in breastfeeding her child. It was proof that someone still needed her. Kahlan caressed Ashley's head and brushed the little tangled mass of dark hair away from her daughter's brow.

Soon after her feeding Ashley fell back into a restless sleep, but Kahlan could not sleep. Her mind was reeling and churning, thinking about Richard and what he thought of her. She regretted this morning in the washroom. She should have been more thoughtful of his feelings and not stirred them up by reminding him of things he did not want reminding of. Slowly, she slipped out of the covered and took Ashley to her crib, the one Richard had made. Bending down, she placed Ashley down and tucked her in. She leaned forward and kissed her daughter's forehead, before straightening and looking out the window.

Perhaps she should leave. Hartland was not far from here. She could wait for the storm to pass and then take Ashley and go. Richard would be happier if she weren't here. She tiptoed across the floor and opened the door, stepping out into the kitchen. Jennsen and Cara were sitting around the table talking in hushed voices. Cara stopped almost immediately when Kahlan entered. Jennsen looked over her shoulder and gave a kind smile.

"Has Richard come back?" Kahlan asked hopefully.

Jennsen's mouth turned down and she shook her head. Kahlan closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead, thinking she was to blame for the absence of Richard. He was probably out there weeping over the loss of their love, the love that _she_ had destroyed. Jennsen got up and gave her a reassuring squeeze on the arm, before turning her attention to the cauldron. And Cara sat there, glaring at her.

"It's all your fault, you know," the Mord'Sith said.

Kahlan blinked and looked down. "Yes… I suppose it is."

Cara raised an eyebrow, stunned that she had agreed. The Mord'Sith adjusted herself and cocked her head to the right. "He would have been happier if you never showed up," she said. "How could he ever love you? You're a traitor… and a whore."

"CARA!" Jennsen shouted, admonishing.

"It's true!" Cara said, standing. "And, anyways, he'd prefer me over you. Come on... look at me! And tell me I'm wrong?"

Kahlan obliged her. Cara was wearing a woodsman outfit that fit snuggly to her woman curves. And yes, she was very attractive, but not in the way Kahlan was. Kahlan was refined and graceful, with a statuesque quality, while Cara was primal and raw, with alluring animalistic qualities that must drive men wild. But Kahlan could never see Richard with a woman like Cara. Maybe just for sex, but love? No, impossible… Kahlan furrowed her brow in confusion. Or was it? Cara smirked, pleased with Kahlan's reaction. She strolled around the table, running her finger along the edge.

"I'm a real woman," Cara proclaimed. "I could do things for Richard you have never imagined and could never do." She paused before Kahlan. "So… how was it?"

"What?" Kahlan managed to squeak out.

"You're first time," Cara smirked, a wicked twinkle in her eyes. "Feeling that confessed man of yours entering you and breaking your barrier? Was it everything you ever hoped it would be?"

"Cara!" Jennsen stood up. "Is that really necessary?"

"Quiet, Jennsen!" Cara snapped, looking back at Richard's sister. "This is between me and the whore of a confessor!"

Kahlan bit her lower lip, swallowing the bitter bile in her mouth, and feeling the sting of tears beginning to form in the back of her eyes. "I… I…," she stuttered, unable to answer. It had felt terrible. The older confessors had told her what to expect, but none of what they had told her had prepared her for accepting a man into her. And always gnawing at the back of her mind was the idea that if it had been Richard, if he had been the one, instead of Dragen, that then it would have felt different. That she would have felt some pleasure in the whole thing.

"That's what I thought," Cara scoffed, when Kahlan was unable to answer. "Too naïve and confused to even know how to describe it." She paused and smirked, letting out a soft chuckle. "You probably just laid there like a dead fish, not knowing what to do."

Kahlan knitted her eyebrows together, trying to hold back the tears.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Cara continued, laugh. "Oh, this is rich! You did that, didn't you? You just laid there and spread your legs, letting you mate do all the work." She laughed more loudly. "Oh, this is just great! Ha! Even if you had been able to be with Richard, you would have just laid there. What fun could that be for a man like Richard? Huh?"

Kahlan bit her trembling lower lip and shook her head, not knowing how she could possibly answer such a question.

"He'd find no pleasure in you," Cara declared, crossing her arms over her chest. "You're a spoiled mess with nothing to offer a man as great as Richard. And I should know! He's made love to me!"

"NO!" Kahlan cried, unable to take it any longer. "He said he hasn't been with anyone since we first met!"

"Oh, really? I suppose he was just being kind to you," Cara continued, cruelly. "He comes to my bed all the time. He loves all the little things I can do… with just my tongue." Cara flicked her tongue out and ran it over her full lips. "He just loves that. Can't get enough of it."

"All right, Cara! That's enough!" Jennsen was saying.

But Cara ignored the pristinely ungifted and went on, describing, in great detail all the things she claimed to have done with Richard. Kahlan closed her eyes and shook her head, not knowing what to believe. But with each word that issued out from Cara's full and sensual lips, Kahlan found it harder and harder to believe that Richard could resist a woman who could please him so.

"So you see," Cara said, finishing. "How can he ever find any fun in you, when I've already rocked his world… And continue to do so."

Kahlan finally let out a cry and sobbed, burying her face in her hands. She stumbled around feeling like her heart was going to explode. Richard was never going to take her back, not when he had Cara. He loved Cara, not her! Forgetting herself, lost in her grief, Kahlan shoved the door open and went running into the blizzard outside.

As she went stumbling out into the white nothingness of the storm, Kahlan was vaguely aware of Jennsen calling after her and the cruel triumphal laugh of Cara. She left Ashley behind, knowing the child would be better without her as a mother. Richard would see to that, he'd shown the child no animosity for her mother's sins. She continued blindly through the raging tumult around her, not caring where she went, only that she was freeing Richard from having to deal with her: The whore, the slut, the wicked confessor who had betrayed him.

Cara had been right. Kahlan knew nothing about pleasing a man. Spirits, she did not even know how she was suppose to find pleasure in the act. She'd found none with Dragen when he mated with her. All she had done was lay on the bed and let him take her. She did nothing to stimulate him, there was no need with a confess man. All that was required was for Kahlan to command him to mate with her and make her with child.

Kahlan never commanded him to make love to her. She would never do that. Lovemaking was something she had wanted to save for Richard, but that prospect had been destroyed the moment she had lost her maidenhood to another man. She had become spoiled and ruined, damaged goods. A man like Richard would never want a woman like her.

She ran on and on, heedless to the burning cold. Hugging herself, not really for warmth, but because of her grief, Kahlan closed her eyes and sobbed, wailing as loud as she could, knowing that the roar of the storm would drown out her cries. No one would come for her. She would die out here in the snow and be glad for it. As she stumbled across the uneven ground, her foot caught on something and she slipped. She went rolling down a slope, wailing and screaming, waiting for oblivion to take her. She hit her head against something hard and collapsed with a heavy thud. Kahlan felt a warm stickiness seep out and pool around the back of her head as she laid there in the snow, breathing in ragged breaths. Her vision started to become blurry and darkness was taking over.

Before she lost consciousness, she used the last of her waning strength to open her mouth and murmur one last thing before she passed out.

"Oh, Richard… I'm so sorry."


	16. Tempest

**Chapter 16 – Tempest**

Richard jogged through the snow, unaware that he was running right pass the woman he loved. The roar of the blizzard was so deafening that he could not hear her cries, even if he was listening for them. He held his hand out in front of his face, shielding his eyes, squinting, searching for the lights of the cabin. He found it sooner than he thought, almost hitting his shins against the front steps. He gripped the railings and heaved himself up, the gale force winds trying to buffer him back. Richard gritted his teeth and used all his strength to reach out for the door. Grabbing a hold of the latch, he heaved it open and dove inside for warm, pulling it closed behind him.

He shivered and shook off the fine white powder that had embedded itself in the creases of his cloak. Pulling down his hood, he was greeted by odd looks from Cara and Jennsen. He gave them a gruff nod. He had needed the time to think, and cool off, quite literally. Richard was glad he had ran out, because spirits know what he might have done to Kahlan if he had allowed his anger to rule him. Thankfully, he had been strong enough to back away. He took the cloak off and placed it on the hook, still shivering from the bitter cold outside. He stepped over to the hearth and placed his hands out before the fire, warming them.

Suddenly he became aware of the silence. Compared to outside, it was a tranquil summer's day in here. Richard narrowed his eyes, rubbing his hands together, and cupping them up to his mouth, blowing into his palms.

"Why so quiet?" he asked, completely oblivious to what had just occurred moments before.

Jennsen averted her eyes, looking ashamed. Cara, on the other hand, stood with her arms cross and a smug smirk on her face that he did not like. Richard lowered his brow and turned towards the bedroom door, intent on speaking with Kahlan. If these two would not talk with him, perhaps Kahlan would. Before he could reach the door, Cara spoke.

"She's not there," she said, almost proudly, shifting her hands to her hips.

"What?" Richard raised his eyebrows, surprised. Why would Kahlan not be in the bedroom? If she was not out here, where else could she be? "Is she in the washroom?"

When neither answered, Richard let out a frustrated breath and pulled on the latch, opening the door. Cara was right. Kahlan was not in the bedroom. However, Ashley was. She was sleeping soundlessly in her crib. Richard knelt down beside it, tucking her in more and giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead and playing with her soft silky dark hair. He stood and went back into the kitchen, quietly closing the door behind him.

"Well?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring out at the two women. "Jennsen, what's happened?"

Under his stern and disapproving glare, his sister caved in. She slumped down on a chair and looked shamefaced. "Kahlan and Cara got into an argument, as it were," Jennsen started off slowly, glancing cautiously up at the Mord'Sith. Cara merely shrugged and let her continue. "Well, not really an argument, it was actually a one-way conversation."

"And what was this _one-way conversation_?" Richard inquired, having a bad feeling about this. His mind began to worry about Kahlan. He had said some terrible things before he had left, things he really did not think. Ever since this whole fiasco started, he had been losing his temper faster than usual. He wondered if it was because he did not have the Sword of Truth to help vent his anger.

"Cara told Kahlan that she wasn't good enough for you," Jennsen continued in a soft voice. "She called Kahlan a traitor and a whore."

Richard clenched his jaw. He could not be mad at Cara for saying those things, when he himself had called Kahlan them as well. But it still pained him to know that Kahlan had to face those things without him, when he had usually been by her side. And it concerned him that Kahlan probably thought that he believed the same things Cara had asserted, and that he no longer cared about her. However, he sensed there was more to the story than just that. "What else happened?" he asked.

"I told her that you've been sleeping with me," Cara blurted out, with a superior and pleased look on her face. Her full lips curled into a devious little grin. "Some confessor, she actually believed me."

Richard groaned. "Of course she did!" he gritted his teeth. "She was distraught and vulnerable after I left. I could see it in her eyes." He stood, glaring at Cara. "You remember that line we talked about?"

Cara gave a nod, looking worried for the first time during their conversation.

"Well, you've just crossed it," Richard said. "Kahlan was here under my invitation. And I expected her to be treated with respect!"

"But you…," Cara began.

Richard banged his fist hard against the table, causing both Cara and Jennsen to jump. "I don't care what I did or said!" he snarled. "I love her. And sometimes people who love one another fight. That doesn't give you license to interfere, even if in your own sick twisted way you were trying to protect me. Kahlan is my problem, not yours. If you care about me… and want to _serve_ me, then you follow my orders and commands. Don't go behind my back!"

He spun on Jennsen. "And you! You knew how I felt about Kahlan, and you just sat there and let Cara tell her all those things," Richard shook his head. "Jennsen, I thought you were better than that."

Tears formed in his sister's eyes and she lowered her head, ashamed. Cara looked more remorseful, but he doubted she truly felt any guilt for the lies she told Kahlan. Richard took in a deep breath and sighed.

"_Now_, where is Kahlan?" he demanded, looking at the two women he'd spent four months living with.

Cara played her tongue across her upper teeth and looked down. "She… she stormed outside," she said hesitantly.

"WHAT!" Richard nearly shouted, feeling terror grip his heart. He could not help but feel some guilt. In his anger, he had practically told her that it was over. And now, in her anguish and grief, added with what Cara had told her, a distraught confessor had run out into a tumultuous tempest. Only the spirits knew what was to become of her!

"Sorry," Cara said, giving a shrug.

"Sorry!" echoed Richard, feeling a new found sense of anger towards the Mord'Sith. "That's it! I'm done with you. When winter breaks, you're going back to D'Hara, or wherever."

"What? No, Richard," in a heartbeat, Cara turned from a confident Mord'Sith into a weeping little girl. "Please? Don't send me away!"

"Why not!" he roared. "You've just drove the woman I love out into the heart of winter."

"But… but she betrayed you," Cara stumbled, falling to her knees before him. "She doesn't deserve your love."

"Precisely," Richard looked down on her. "_My_ love. Not _yours_. I get to decide who has it and who's worthy of it. And despite everything that has happened, I love that woman! I'd gladly suffer all the heartache, torment, and grief all over again to simply hold her in my arms."

Cara had tears in her eyes as she began prostrating before, begging for his forgiveness. He shook his head. There was so much to forgive and not enough heart in him to forgive everyone. The only person he was saving forgiveness for was lost out there in the snow. Ignoring her, Richard turned to Jennsen, and wrapping an arm over her shoulder and pulling her to the bedroom. He gripped her arms and looked into her azure eyes.

"Jennsen, I'm going to need you to look after the baby," he said in a calm and low voice. "Do you understand me?"

She gave a slight nod. Richard narrowed his eyes, wondering if she did. So he sought to make his point clearer. "Ashley may not be of my blood, but she is part of Kahlan," he said. "And I love her, as if she were my own flesh and blood. Understand?"

"Yes," Jennsen looked into his eyes. "I understand. You are saying that even though she is not your child, you consider her a daughter."

"Yes, exactly," he said. "And I want her safe."

Jennsen took a breath and gave a nod. "You can count on me, brother."

"Thank you, Jennsen," Richard murmured, pulling his sister into a fierce hug. When he backed away, he gripped her head in his hands and kissed her forehead. "Stay safe."

He went back out into the kitchen, ignoring the prone Mord'Sith, still reeling from his judgment. Pulling his cloak off the hook, he looked over his shoulder, watching through the door as Jennsen pulled a chair over to the crib and sat down, determination set on her face to do as he had asked her. Grabbing another cloak off the rack, Richard rolled it up and tucked it under his shoulder. And then, just in case, he retrieved a dagger he kept on a hook by the door. He attached the small sheath to his built and gritted his teeth, not knowing what he was going to do if something had happened to Kahlan.

"I'll be back," he said to no one in particular, as he opened the door and plunged himself into the bitter cold.

XXX

Richard tried to shield his eyes from the tumult of sleet and ice that came pounding against him as the blizzard roared around him. His heart was hammering in his chest so hard that he was afraid it would burst out. His breathing was labored and heavy, but not from the exertion of plowing his way through the snow. He was worried beyond anything he had ever felt for Kahlan. She might have spent time out in the wilderness with him and Zedd on their quest to stop Darken Rahl, but she had lived most of her life in the safety and comfort of palaces. She was not used to such things as blizzards.

What was she thinking? She could not brave out a storm like this. No one really could. He was consumed with guilt and anguish over being so cruel to her before. Of course she would show off her body to him, she loved him and wanted him, just as he wanted her. And besides, he had kind of done the same, when he had been chopping wood. He really had no need to take his shirt off, but he did, knowing and relishing her eyes as they gazed upon his flesh. He groaned, thinking himself a fool for allowing anger to seize control of him. He almost wished Zedd were here, almost.

"KAHLAN!" he shouted her name, knowing that it was futile. The blizzard was so loud that nothing could penetrate the commotion of wind, snow, and rain.

Stumbling through thick patches of snow, Richard clutched the cloak tighter around him and shivered. Spirits, it was cold. Kahlan had not taken a cloak or anything else. She must be freezing! He had to find her quickly, least she die from the exposure.

He involuntarily let out a cry at the thought and closed his eyes against the onslaught. Richard could not bring himself to even think of the possibility of something happening to Kahlan. It was too awful to even think about. He wished he had behaved differently, thinking that he should have forgiven Kahlan when he had had the chance… that he had made loved to her. Spirits, how he wanted to make love to her! Since the moment they met, his mind had been churning and plotting to that end.

Richard had been shocked to no end when he had gazed through the trees and caught sight of a glowing spirit running through the forests. He had never seen such a divine sight before. It had taken him some time, but eventually he realized that what he was seeing was not a spirit, but a woman. A woman of flesh and blood, one that, if he played his cards right, could be his. Then he saw that she was terrified. Her head spun around, the long lush tresses of her dark hair flying around her. His eyes followed her gaze and he saw the four men chasing after her.

There was no pause, no moment's hesitation. He was going to save her. And he did, only to discover that she was just as fierce and deadly as the men chasing her. And she'd done something to one of them. Touching his throat, changing him somehow, making him turn on his comrades. The soldier claimed she was a witch, but Richard could not believe that, she was too beautiful to be something so evil.

Shaking his head of the past, Richard lowered his shoulders and toiled onward through the harsh storm. He continued to futilely call her name, just needing something to do. The snow was becoming much thicker and harder to trudge through and his worry was quickly turning into sheer panic for the woman he loved. He clenched his teeth and cried out in despair, thinking he was going to lose her before he ever got to have her. Then, through the tumult of wind and rain, he thought he heard a faint humming.

He squinted, holding up a hand to shield his eyes. A dim pale blue light was buzzing about, not more than twenty yards away. He pushed through the snow, moving his legs with all his strength. Then he saw it, and let out a gasp. It was a nightwisp. It buzzed up around him, flying around his head, whispering into his ear in that strange singsong language of the nightwisps. He did not understand. He had never understood them. When he had met Shar, Kahlan had to tell him what she said.

"I… I don't understand!" he shouted over the din of the storm.

The nightwisp buzzed about him, then shot out in another direction. Lowering his brow, not knowing what else to do, he followed the glowing ball of light. The storm seemed to become harder and more relentless. He gritted his teeth and squinted his eyes, keeping them locked on the glowing light. He stumbled down a slope, managing to keep his footing. The nightwisp had stopped, and was hovering at the base of the downgrade. Richard rushed down the hill and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what the nightwisp was floating over.

"Kahlan!" he dropped to his knees and pulled her freezing body to his. He ran his hands over her face, feeling only cold skin beneath his fingertips. Spirits, she was as white as the snow! He ran his fingers over her head searching for injuries and let out a cry of anguish when he felt something wet on the back of her head. He lifted his hand and saw dark red liquid dripping from his fingers. "NO!"

He clutched her to his chest and let out an agonizing cry. The nightwisp hummed around him, but he ignored it, so lost in his grief.

"Please, Kahlan, no," he murmured into her hair. "I love you. You can't die… you can't!" Richard placed his fingers over her neck, feeling for a pulse, and let out a cry of joy when he felt it. It was weak, but it was there. She was still alive. But barely. He needed to get her somewhere warm, however at the moment, he could not think, he was too consumed by his sorrow and grief.

The nightwisp seemed to grow impatient and flew right up into his face and rammed itself again him, right between his eyes. Richard blinked and shook his head. His tears were turning to ice as they ran down his cheeks. "What!" he snarled, angry over being disturbed from his torment.

The nightwisp hummed and danced around in the air, darting to the left and back. Richard furrowed his brow, then gave a nod, and knelt down by Kahlan, scooping her up in his arms. He took in a deep breath and heaved his chest as he lifted her off the ground.

"Lead on," he told the nightwisp.

Seemingly happy that it was finally understood, the nightwisp hovered off with Richard trailing behind it. He had no idea how a nightwisp had come to be here in Westland, but at the moment, he did not care. It had helped him find Kahlan, and for that he was grateful. They plowed through the snow, the nightwisp moving faster than he could keep up. It slowed and stopped, waited for him, then continued. He knew he could not get back to the cabin tonight, the storm was picking up. They were going to need to find shelter. He only wished that that was where the nightwisp was leading him.

He looked up and his eyes grew wide. He'd been so lost in his thoughts that he had lost track of the nightwisp. "Wait! Where are you? I can't see!" Richard shouted, more wailing than anything else. He almost collapsed to his knees, feeling the exhaustion of his long hike followed by the grief that had befallen him when he found Kahlan. His grip on her slipped, and she almost fell from his hands, but he quickly recovered and caught her before she could leave his hold.

Clutching her tightly, Richard pushed onward, determined not to lose her. Slowly, as he made his way through the heavy snow, he caught sight of something familiar. He would have smiled in joy, if his heart were not aching with concern for the cold body in his arms. Adjusting his hold on Kahlan, he wiggled one hand free and parted the branches, ducking them inside the wayward pine. He let out a deep sigh and slumped to the ground, holding her tightly to him. The nightwisp hovered above him, singing it's little song like language.

"Thank you," he whispered to the humming nightwisp before exhaustion seized hold and he passed out.


	17. Sheltered

*Wow! I've gotten over 100 reviews! I never expected to get so many. I enjoy reading them and it keeps me writing. Thank you!

* * *

**Chapter 17 – Sheltered**

"_Seeker_…," came a small angelic voice. It chirped and buzzed around, calling him by the title he had long since abandoned. He was no longer the Seeker of Truth. He'd forsaken that title and relinquished the Sword of Truth to the First Wizard. He had no longer wanted to be the Seeker. What good was being the Seeker when his Confessor could not be his?

"_Seeker_…," the voice called for him again. It was a high pitch singsong type voice that hovered and floated around him. He groaned, opening his eyes, squinting in the bright light that assaulted his vision. He felt groggy and his mind was fogged. His memories were a blur of white sleet and terrible images of his beloved dying in his arms as he tried desperately to find shelter for them in the heart of a storm.

"_Wake, Seeker_," the voice floated across the cold air. "_Your Confessor needs you_."

_My Confessor?_ Richard frowned. _I… I don't have a confessor. I did once, but then she betrayed me and… and…_ He closed his eyes. He could not even think the rest it was so agonizing.

"_You must wake, Seeker!_"

"NO!" he shouted. He just wanted it be a dream. All of it. Her with a swollen belly, the pain, the gulf that had spread out between them. He just wanted it to be as it had been when they had been on the quest to stop Darken Rahl. He wanted his Confessor back. He wanted Kahlan Amnell.

Kahlan. He gulped and blinked in the bright blue light. He knew that name. It was important to him. He'd struggled and suffered much for the one who bore that name. But then… the betrayal. How could he forgive? How? But he loved her. He would always love her. There was no denying it, no anymore.

Richard eased himself up and squinted in the darkness, looking around. He was in a wayward pine. He groaned and rubbed his head, remembering finding one in the snow. Closing his eyes, he prayed to the good spirits that it had all been a dream… a terrible awful dream. But when he opened his eyes and looked down, his eyes denied him such absolution. His heart jumped and he nearly let out a pitiful cry of anguish at the sight before him.

The beautiful confessor from his dreams laid sprawled out on the pine needles, white as snow and as cold as ice. He crouched over her, sobbing softly as he shuddered in utter abject horror at knowing that he had played a hand in this. He had driven her into the snow. Richard grabbed her clammy hand and brought it to his chest as he looked down upon her face; so serene and peaceful in her icy slumber. He brushed her dark hair from her brow and spread his palm across her cold skin.

"Oh spirits, Kahlan, please…," he murmured softly, bending over her. "Please… Kahlan, don't leave me. Not now. Not when there is so much left unsaid. So much left undone." He placed his hand on her cheek and rubbed the cold pale skin with his thumb, trying to feel some inklings of hope. But he could not.

The buzz of the nightwisp interrupted him and he looked up, seeing the small sprite hover around.

"_You must warm her, Seeker_," he heard the faint voice say.

Richard looked around, feeling utterly useless. "How?" he choked out, his voice thick with despair. The nightwisp did not answer. It just floated there. He bit his lower lip and furrowed his brow, looking back down on his Confessor. Continuing to caress her cold cheek, he bent over her and softly pressed his lips to hers. Tears formed on his lips when he felt no warm in her lovely lips. He wept softly as he hugged her, crying into her air.

"_Seeker! Pull yourself together and save the Mother Confessor!_" the nightwisp was impatient.

Richard sniffled and looked up at the nightwisp, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "I'm not the Seeker," he said, choking back his grief. "I've renounced that title, and given the sword back to the First Wizard."

"_Once a Seeker of Truth, always a Seeker of Truth_," the nightwisp replied, hovering closer, the small voice soft and soothing. It came up to his face and he could swear he felt a delicate hand touch his cheek. "_Do not despair, Seeker, for I believe in you. All you have to do is believe in yourself_."

"Easy for you to say," he grumbled under his breath, removing his cloak and wrapping it around Kahlan. He took the other cloak out and did the same. He shivered, and he could see his breath before him. He needed to make a fire. He needed to warm Kahlan. And once he had more light he would check on the wound on the back of her head. He hoped that it was not too severe. If Zedd were with them, the old wizard could have healed her in a heartbeat. But he wasn't here. It was just him. Richard. He had to save Kahlan by himself.

Moving about quickly, Richard arranged some stones in a circle and piled some needles and dried branches in the center. Taking out his knife, glad he had brought it, he struck stone and metal until sparks manifested and ignited with the needles. Soon flames were sprouting up and Richard kept pace with them, adding more branches to the pile. Eventually the interior of the wayward pine was all aglow in a warm orange light. When he felt he had created a large enough fire that would be able to maintain itself for a while without his attentions, he turned back to the cold woman on the ground.

"Nightwisp!" he cried out.

"_I have a name_," the nightwisp hissed, sounding a little annoyed.

Richard looked up at the ball of light, wondering for a moment how he could understand the nightwisp. "Sorry… I… I…" he raised his eyebrows. "What is it? Your name, that is."

"_Teev_," hummed the nightwisp as it spun around his head. "_My name is Teev_." It paused and stopped before him. "_You knew my mate_."

"What?" Richard blinked.

"_She died to help the confessor find you, Seeker_," Teev said.

Richard furrowed his brow. "Shar had a mate?"

"_Yes, and I am he_," Teev said. Richard looked up at the nightwisp dubiously.

"He? But you sound…"

"_Female?_" if you could call it a harrumph, then that is what Teev did. "_Nightwisps are greatly misunderstood creatures, Seeker_."

"I'm sorry," Richard responded, biting his lower lip. "I meant no offense."

"_None taken, Seeker_," Teev continued his buzzing around. "_You know_, _I told her not to go. Nightwisps do not involve themselves in the affairs of others, I said. But she insisted. And when Shar set her mind to something, there was very little I could do or say to dissuade her. She told me that the Seeker of Truth would give us hope, something we nightwisps have not felt in many, many years._"

Richard lowered his eyes. "She died to save my life," he said. "I'm sorry."

"_Do not be sorry for Shar_," Teev said. "_She died doing what she wished. By saving you, you defeated Darken Rahl, saving the nightwisps and bringing hope to our kind. And if it were not for you, then all nightwisps would have been destroyed by the Keeper of the Underworld. And for that, we are eternally grateful to you… and to the Mother Confessor_." Teev floated down and the light caressed Kahlan's pale cheek. "_She is still cold, Seeker. You must warm her_."

Richard furrowed his brow and hugged himself, feeling very cold without the cloak around his shoulders. "What… what more can I do?" he stammered.

Teev floated around Kahlan, bathing her in the pale blue light of his being, before floating up back to Richard. "_There is much you still do not know about yourself, Seeker_," Teev said, sounding disappointed. "_Talents you have yet to realize_." The nightwisp floated closer and touched his chest. "_Look inside yourself, Richard Cypher, and you shall find the answer_." And with that, Teev floated away and drifted through the twisted branches of the wayward pine, disappearing, leaving him alone.

Richard slumped down beside Kahlan, looking at her with worry and confusion. He had no idea what Teev meant by talent he had yet to realize. He was just a simple woodsman who became the Seeker of Truth. He had no hidden talents. He had used all his talents to be the Seeker, and none of them had helped him in the one quest he ever truly cared about. That knowledge came to him when it was too late. There was nothing left.

Ignoring that problem, for the time being, Richard decided to check on her head wound first and see if he could do anything about that. Easing down onto the ground beside her, he slowly brought her head into his lap and turned it over to look upon the wound. He clenched his jaw and suppressed a cry of horror at what he saw. It was a nasty looking cut, but thankfully, due mostly to the freezing temperature than anything else, the blood had coagulated and she was no longer bleeding… at least externally. She might have internal bleeding, but he could do nothing for that. Zedd might, but not him. Lowering his head, Richard let out a sob, knowing that all his planning was for not. He could do nothing to save Kahlan. Nothing at all.

Cradling her head in his hands, he lowered his forehead to hers. "I'm sorry, Kahlan," he murmured. "I've failed you. Teev says I have hidden talents, but I don't know what they are, or what he was talking about." Richard closed his eyes and kissed her brow. "Forgive me."

Teev's instructions came back to him. _She is still cold, Seeker. You must warm her_. How? How was he to warm Kahlan? He had already given her all the cloaks. He had built a fire… his thoughts wandered off. A fire! Yes, that's what he needed to do. He had to use _the_ fire. But not the physical one, the metaphorical one that burned within his heart. His love for Kahlan was like an eternal flame that burned continual, never going out. It had lessened, going to embers, but the embers had ignited back into a raging fire, asking… nay demanding her! His fire would always burn for Kahlan. And there was nothing more warm than his love for her.

He reached up and took off his vest jacket, and unbuttoned his shirt. When he reached his belt, he paused then shook his head. This was not a time to be self-conscious! Kahlan needed warmth, and his body heat would be hottest lying exposed next to hers. He quickly unbuckled his belt and removed his trousers. When his bare skin met the cool air, he shivered and gooseflesh manifested itself along his arms and legs.

Richard eased down onto the needles and parted the cloaks he had wrapped around her. Slowly, he began to unbutton her blouse. His hands trembled, not from the cold, but from the act of undressing Kahlan. He had dreamt of doing this for so long, yet for different reasons. Her blouse opened easily and he had to remind himself not to stare. Richard made quick work of her skirt, but left her underthings on. He did not think it would be right if he removed them.

Lying down next to her, he flushed, his face going red. He felt like he was some sick pervert doing naughty things to an unconscious woman. Richard took a deep breath in through his mouth and out his nose, reminding himself that he was not doing anything sexual. This was only for body heat. With nothing between them, he could give her his warmth. However, despite that, his body still flushed with arousal. He knew he should not be surprised by that. It was so easy for him to become aroused around Kahlan. She had that effect on him. Richard's ears burned red hot as he pressed his body flush against hers and pulled the two cloaks over them like a blanket, creating a warm cocoon.

Kahlan was so cold it was frightening. He buried her head in his chest and rubbed his palms up and down her back. He intertwined their legs and shuddered at how cold hers were. His arousal only seemed to increase and he knew his face was blushing to an extreme pink color, but he did not care. If anything, it was only making him hotter, which would only add to the heat he could give her. He wished she were awake so he could tell her how much he was sorry and how much he loved her.

Cradling her head in his arms, he wished with all his heart he could see those wonderful blue eyes of hers again. "Oh, Kahlan, please, get warm… get warm!" he rubbed his hands down her sides and on her arms, hoping the friction would warm her cold flesh. Tentatively, he brushed her hair back and kissed her cheek, hating how clammy and cold it felt to his lips. "No," he whimpered softly to himself. Hot tears stung his cheeks and he hugged her close, vaguely aware of her soft breasts pushing up against his chest.

"Kahlan," he murmured, breathing out a warm breath across her ear. "I love you." Gripping her chin, he tilted her head ever so slightly and brought his lips to hers.

He deepened the kiss, believing this could be the last time he might ever be able to kiss the woman he loved while she was alive, even if she was unconscious. Suddenly he felt a strange feeling in his heart. It was not painful or unpleasant. Though it was warm. It throbbed and churned, slowly seeping up from his chest to his throat. He closed his eyes and pulled her closer, unconsciously pushing her lips apart and opening his own mouth. The warm feeling rose up his throat and he felt it drift through his mouth and expel itself in a warm breath, slinking through her parted lips. As soon as it left him and entered her mouth, the feeling was gone.

Richard shuddered, confused as to what had just happened. Did he just give Kahlan the Breath of Life? Then just as sudden as the feeling had come, another sound came. It was a gasp. He opened his eyes when he felt a soft breath touch his cheeks. "KAHLAN!" he cried out, running his hands along her face and brushing her back. "Kahlan?"

She convulsed and her body shook. Lowering his brow in concern and despair, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, preventing her seizure from harming her. When the shaking stopped, she coughed and wheezed. His mouth dropped in awe and joy, as he felt the beating of her heart slowly increase to a more normal rate. He adjusted his hold, pulling her face up, wanting to see her eyes.

Ever so slightly, her eyes fluttered open. "Ric… Rich… Richard?" she wheezed out, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

"Oh Kahlan!" he wailed in joy, hugging her and burying his head in her hair. "You're alive! Thank the spirits, you're alive!"

Kahlan coughed again and groaned. A small delicate hand came up from beneath the cloaks and rubbed the back of her head. Her eyes went wide. Richard frowned and gripped her head in his hands, turning it slightly to look. He shifted her hair around, but could not find anything to indicate that she had ever had the injury. It was completely gone. Healed. But how? Of course, Zedd! How could he be so stupid? It was obvious. His grandfather was Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander, a Wizard of the First Order. There was obviously magic in his blood. He was just never taught or trained.

"My… my head?" she murmured, her voice hoarse.

"I… I think I gave you the Breath of Life," Richard spoke, soothingly, running his fingers through her hair.

Kahlan closed her eyes and groaned, rubbing her forehead. "How is that possible?"

"I… I don't really know," he spoke hastily, overwhelmed with everything. "I suppose I must have some magic. After all, Zedd is my grandfather."

She gave a groggy nod, coughing slightly as she took a deep breath. He held her and tenderly rubbed his fingers up and down her bare arm. Kahlan opened her eyes and gazed down. Her eyebrows knitted together and she looked up at him, confused.

"Richard… why are we naked?"


	18. Wayward

*I'm giving this chapter and the one that will follow a M rating.

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**Chapter 18 – Wayward**

She was feeling groggy and lightheaded. The last thing she remembered was falling and hitting her head, then feeling a warm stickiness pool out around the back of her head. She had no idea where she was, or how she had gotten there. But at the moment, all she could focus on was that Richard was there, and that somehow he had gotten her out of the snow and saved her.

Presently, he was tenderly rubbing his fingers up and down her bare arm. Wait! Bare arm? Where was her blouse? She knitted her eyebrows together and looked down. Shock by what she saw, she looked up into his warm brown eyes, seeing him furrow his brow in worry, expecting the question to come.

"Richard… why are we naked?"

Well, all right, she was not completely naked. He had not removed her underthings, but just the same, she still felt completely naked with him so bare and exposed next to her. Part of her wanted to look down again and try and make out more of him, but for the moment, she wanted to hear his answer… if for anything at all, to just hear his voice.

Richard's face flushed and he averted his eyes. "I… I had to warm you, Kahlan," he murmured. "You were freezing cold. I… I had to keep you warm. I just had to!"

He reached up, his hand trembling slightly as he caressed her cheek. His fingers moved up and he brushed her hair away from her face. As he did so, he shifted under the cloaks. Kahlan's eyes grew wide when she felt it, brushing slightly against her thigh. She knew what it was the moment it made contact. It was Richard, all of him, the very part of him that she had wished so long to see and feel within her. And now, here it was, so close to her femininity, yet at the same time, so far.

Kahlan bit her lower lip and swallowed, gazing into his eyes. "How did you plan on making me warm?" she questioned, tentatively, almost afraid to ask. "Were… were you going to make love to me?"

The question only seemed to make Richard's cheeks flush even more, and he shifted, pulling himself slightly away from her. "No…," he spoke slowly, and then he knitted his eyebrows together, his cheeks burning a bright pink. "Why… why do you ask?" he added, almost in a high voice. He was clearly embarrassed by the whole thing.

For some reason, Kahlan's heart sank. Perhaps Cara had been right all along. He did not desire her in that way. He had saved her, yes, but maybe because he still respected her as the Mother Confessor, and not because she was Kahlan Amnell, the woman he had once loved. Why would he even want to make love to her, anyway? Especially after she had slept with another. She lowered her eyes, feeling ashamed for even asking the question. It was selfish of her to think only of herself.

"I… I just thought, since you're naked… and I'm… I'm mostly naked…," Kahlan blushed, hearing herself babble on. "And… and that you're aroused and all, that…" she stopped, closing her mouth before she could embarrass herself even further. Of course he had become aroused, she chided herself. Even if he did not desire her in that way, Richard was still a man lying next to a naked woman. What man would not be excited by that? Kahlan closed her eyes and lowered her head, not feeling worthy enough to even look upon his face. She let out a soft whimper when she felt his fingers touch her chin, guiding her head up.

"I apologize, Kahlan," she heard him say. "I had no intention of doing anything improper. I only wanted to raise your internal body temperature."

That only seemed to make it hurt all the more. Is that all he thought about? Raising her body temperature?

"Why?" she murmured, confused. "Why would you even want to save me? I… I thought you hated me. And that it was over between us." That was the last thing he had said to her. He had been in such a rage, angrier than she had ever seen him before. She shuddered, remembering the fury in his eyes when he had looked at her, the hate that was there. He did not want her, perhaps he never really did. It was probably just a schoolboy crush, an infatuation with nothing beyond the physical attraction.

"Oh, Kahlan," Richard tugged her close, pulling her body flush against his. She felt his hard muscles press up close to her soft body and could feel the firmness of his arousal upon her thigh once again. Kahlan blushed, biting her lower lip, sensing her own arousal at being so bare and exposed next to the man she loved. "I'm sorry," he went on. "I never meant to say those things. I was angry, and not thinking." He sniffled and gripped her neck and lower jaw, preventing her from looking away when she attempted to do so. "I love you, Kahlan Amnell. I love you so much that it aches inside that I cannot simply be with you."

"Then… then you… you still love me? Even after all I have done to banish such feelings from your heart?" Kahlan choked back tears of joy. She had cried so many times over the past year, believing she had lost the only love she would ever truly had. She had almost lost faith in the possibility of ever having it again. She did not want to cry. Not now. Not when she was hearing the words she had longed to hear since that day they had first reunited after such a long separation, only to have them be torn asunder by her actions, by her duty as a confessor.

"Of course I do," he cooed soothingly, rubbing the pad of his thumb across her cheek. "I could never stop loving you, no matter how hard I try. I may be angry and hurt that you did what you did, but… I do understand why you did it. And I still love you."

Kahlan swallowed past the lump in her throat, not knowing why it had chose this moment to manifest itself. Her mind was soaring with all the possibilities that this new future held knowing that Richard loved her… but did he still desire her like he once had. Would he want to make love to her when she had already been broke by another man? Her eyes watered at the thought that he may love her still, but would not want to make love to her.

Richard's brow creased in worry, and his hands rubbed her face. "Kahlan, what's the matter?" he questioned softly, his voice filled with concern and love. "Why are you crying?" Kahlan sniffled and tried to look away, but his hands held her firm. "Talk to me, Kahlan. Tell me what troubles you."

Sucking in a deep breath, she blinked back her tears and licked her upper lip. "Do you even want to make love to me anymore?" she asked through racking sobs. When he did not answer, Kahlan let out a louder sob, closing her eyes as the flood gates opened. He did not! He did not want to make love to her. She was hideous in his eyes. How could he want to touch her in that way when she had spread her legs for another? Sure, she had taken no pleasure in it, never finding that bliss others spoke of when they were with another. But she had still done it. She had still lain with another that was not him.

"Shh, Kahlan, stop your weeping," she heard him say. "Shh." His hands caressed and rubbed her face tenderly with much affection. She could feel his breath on her cheeks, and then… than his lips were upon hers.

Kahlan opened her eyes and could see Richard kissing her. She moaned into his mouth, recognizing the movements of his lips upon hers, holding the same passion and pent up desire that he had held when they had shared those brief kisses so long ago while questing to defeat Darken Rahl. The passion behind his kiss had not diminished. It was still there, and just as strong, if not more so.

When he pulled back, he rested his forehead on hers and they shared a warm breath. "Does that answer your question, Mother Confessor?" he asked, jokingly.

She closed her eyes and took in the smell of him. Oh, how she loved this man! He was so kind and gentle. Sometimes a bit thick and easy to anger, with a fiery temper, but he was still so tender and loving with her.

"Well?" he inquired, his breath playing across her cold cheeks.

Kahlan blinked and looked up into his warm brown eyes, drowning in the love she saw reflected back. "I… I don't know," she said, wanting more. "You did say that you needed to warm me up…," a playful smirk found its way onto her face. "And I am still frightfully cold."

"Kahlan," Richard sighed, looking dishearten, like he hated denying her this. "It is still too soon after the birth. I had a friend whose husband pushed her to make love four weeks after her son's birth. She bled for nearly a week afterwards, and it took her an extra month and a half to recover from the birthing."

"But I want you inside me!" groaned Kahlan, rubbing her thigh up against his groin.

Richard closed his eyes and released an involuntary moan. "Oh… I want the same thing, Kahlan," he murmured, caressing her face and gazing into her eyes. "Believe me, I do. But I don't want to hurt you. Birthing Ashley was hard on you, believe me, I saw it happen. You were bleeding down there for quite a while, and you were torn and scarred. It will take a little while longer for you to recover from that."

Kahlan shuddered, wondering if he'd even want to look upon her femininity again after seeing it in such a ravaged state. As if he sensed her thoughts, he ran his fingers down the length of her hair and tickled her with his fingers until his hand came to rest on the small of her back. He then tenderly rubbed his palm across the top of her bottom, before slipping his fingers underneath the waistband of her underthings. He gripped her flesh in his hand and gave a playful squeeze.

Kahlan felt her chest tighten, sucking in a breath as she felt sensations she had never experienced before race throughout her body. She wondered how just the simple act of him cupping her rear in his hand and squeezing it, was enough to stimulate the pleasure portions of her brain. Was she that easily excited? Dragen had never touched her like this. But then again, she just told him to mate with her. And that is all he did. He shoved himself inside her and moved above her until he released his seed. She never commanded him to please her. Never. Not once.

"Do not fret, Kahlan," Richard purred into her ear, teasingly nibbling on her earlobe. "I want you. But when I finally have you," his hand continued to caress the flesh of her bottom, sending shivers of pleasure rippling throughout her body. "I want you to find pleasure in it. We'll have to wait, but I promise you, when you're fully recovered from giving birth, I _am_ going to make love to you. You have my word."

Kahlan shivered slightly with delight at the prospect of finally being with him, but she did not know if she could wait for her body to heal from the birthing process. She wanted him now. Kahlan brought her hand up and touched his cheek, feeling his warmed skin. "You're so warm, Richard. Oh, so warm…," she whispered. "Please… oh, Richard, please, warm me. Make me burn like the fire. I want to burn!"

She had not been lying when she had told Richard she had found no pleasure in Dragen's ministrations above her. And Cara was right when she said that all Kahlan had done was just lay there. It was true, that is what she had done. It was painful and it hurt every time Dragen moved inside her. And Kahlan had always suspected it was because he was so big down there. Furrowing her brow, she wondered if Richard was that size, and found it odd that she was wishing he were not. However, it was not out of any animosity that she wished for him to have a smaller manhood than the man she had taken as a mate, it was just that she did not want it to hurt like that when she opened herself for Richard.

"Richard…," Kahlan broached, cautiously, unsure how he would respond to her request. She fiddled with his pendant and looked down at his bare chest, feeling her cheeks ignite and turn pink.

"Yes, Kahlan?" he murmured softly, nuzzling her neck, giving her soft kisses.

She smiled, loving that he desired her and wanted her so much that he could not stop kissing her skin. It warmed her, but not in the way she was hoping he would warm her.

"You've seen me… all of me," Kahlan spoke slowly. "So… I was wondering, if… if I could see you?" She knitted her eyebrows together, worried he would deny her this.

Richard gave her a lazy grin. "It would only be right, I guess," he relented with a nod. "After all, I've seen you. Not just once but many times."

She felt his warm body drift away from hers and she watched wide-eyed as he removed the cloaks from around his body. And then there he was, sprawled out before her in all his glory. Kahlan's mouth dropped and her eyes roamed his toned and muscled body. Shivering, Kahlan allowed her gaze to drift down pass his waist to finally glimpse the one part of Richard she had longed to see since she had admitted to herself that she was in love with him.

He was not as big as Dragen was, which pained her, knowing how much stock men seemed to put in the size of their member. Though, she was happy for herself, knowing that it would probably be easier accepting all of Richard's length into her than it had been with Dragen. Truth be told, she did not even know if she had been able to accept all of Dragen inside her. Most of her times with him were just too painful to really remember such details. Kahlan remembered hearing the older confessors speak of such things when she was a young teenager, and she had never really understood what they were talking about until she had spread her legs for Dragen. He may have been big, but he did not seem to know how to use it. If he had used it properly then she should have felt some pleasure in it, instead of always feeling pain, right?

So, it was Kahlan's opinion that size was really not all that important, as men made it out to seem. Dragen had been large and had always hurt Kahlan when he took her. And though he was not as large as Dragen, Richard was still rather big for a man of his height and build. Just the same, she still hoped that when she finally opened herself for him and accepted him inside, it would not hurt like it had with Dragen. Kahlan sighed. Maybe Richard was right; they should wait until she was fully recovered from birthing Ashley. She wanted her first time with Richard to be memorable and pleasurable, and judging from his statements, so did Richard.

However, at the moment, her thoughts were dulled, as she seemed to be able to do nothing but stare longingly down at him. A lazy grin drifted across her lips and her mouth began to water with want. She swallowed the saliva, shivering with delight at finally being able to look upon him.

"Well? What do you think?" he asked, a hint of worry in his voice that she did not find him pleasing.

To respond to his question, Kahlan crawled across the ground, realizing for the first time that they were in a wayward pine. She smiled, thinking of other times they had hidden themselves in one of these wondrous trees and shared some private intimate moments before Zedd came ducking in and interrupted them. A talent the wizard should add to his resume. Shaking her head, and returning her focus to the present, Kahlan moved with a speed that not only surprised Richard, but herself as well. She pounced on him, and moved over him, positioning her head right above his middle.

Gazing down at his hardness, Kahlan licked her lips, believing him to be the perfect size for her in all respects. She had never known how to please a man until Dragen and her had traveled across the Midlands to come to Westland. Since she had absconded from her duties as Mother Confessor, they went in disguise and were unable to stay at the more reputable inns or taverns. So many of the places they stayed at had brothels attached to them. For some reason, she still did not know why, Kahlan had wandered close to the working girls and eavesdropped on their conversations, listening as they spoke about what they did that best pleased their clients. And this… this was one of the things they talked about.

"Kahlan, what are you doing?" Richard asked hesitantly, as she ran her hands over his leg joints before gripping his hardness in her hands. He groaned and rolled his head back, as she began to run her fingers up and down his length.

She started at the base, and then played her way up to the tip, paying special attention to the head, giving it a gentle squeeze, as she had heard the working girls saying this was the most sensitive spot on a man's member. Richard let out a throaty laugh and tried to sit up, but Kahlan only pushed him back down.

"Kahlan, I'm the one who is supposed to be warming you, not the other way around," he said, but she ignored him and continued stroking his hardness, feeling it grow even stiffer in her hands.

She took a deep breath and opened her mouth as wide as she could, before descending on him. Richard let out a deep moan and his hips bucked up, bringing his tip close to her gagging point. Kahlan suppressed the gag reflex, breathing through her nose. She closed her lips and sucked on him, running her tongue around the hardness within her mouth. Slowly, she began to move her head up and down, slightly grazing his length with her teeth. Richard's hands came up and held back her hair, and he arched his neck to look down and watch her. She looked up, keeping her eyes locked with his as she continued.

Kahlan was surprised by the taste of him in her mouth. It was not what she had expected. And what puzzled her more was a strange wetness she felt pooling between her legs. She had never felt that before. She furrowed her brow and tried to concentrate on taking his length into her mouth as far as possible, but then Richard gripped her head in his strong hands and pulled her off.

Something had changed in him. It was like he was possessed. His warm brown eyes were filled with a devoted love that was almost frightening. He moved her onto her back and brushed her hair away from her face, rubbing her brow and caressing her cheek.

"All right, Kahlan," he whispered softly, his moist warm breath dancing across her face. "You win."


	19. Fire

*This chapter is definitely rated M. So be warned. =)

* * *

**Chapter 19 – Fire**

Kahlan felt butterflies in her stomach as Richard moved over her, caressing her cheek. His big warm brown eyes seemed to have a hue of gold to them as the fire he had constructed burned with the same passion and ferocity that seemed to burn within him. Oh, how she wanted to feel the fire as well. That would warm her up nicely. Richard leaned down over her, gazing deeply into her eyes. His hand came up and he rubbed her cheek tenderly.

"All right, Kahlan," he whispered softly, his moist warm breath dancing across her face. "You win."

Her first response was to raise her eyebrows in confusion. Kahlan had no idea that simply touching his manhood and taking him into her mouth would have excited him so much that he would forget his earlier protestations about it being too early to make love. He was completely different, his eyes filled with passion and want. And he was going to have what he wanted, and Kahlan was glad for it. She smiled up at him and eased into his touch as he captured her lips in his mouth.

She moaned as his other hand dropped down her body, rubbing and caressing her breasts and flesh as it went. He gripped the fabric of her underthings and quite literally ripped them off. Kahlan looked over and watched the ragged remains fall uselessly to the needle-covered floor. She wouldn't be wearing those again any time soon. Turning her attention back to him, she felt her body shiver with expectation as to what he was going to do next. Though she had had sex with Dragen, she had never really made love. She was worried she would not be up to the challenge.

Richard continued to kiss her, his hand holding her by the neck and lower jaw. He was aggressively sucking on her flesh, almost like an animal. Spirits, he must have told her the truth. The heat and passion that he summoned up as he kissed her was evidence enough. He had not slept with a woman in over two years, having held out for her and her alone. Cara had been lying. He'd never slept with her. Never. He only wanted her. He only wanted Kahlan. Only her and no one else!

While he continued devouring her mouth with his, Kahlan could feel his other hand rubbing up and down her leg, squeezing her thigh, and then going back down again. Responding to his touch, she moved her legs to assist, pleading with him to rest between them. Richard adjusted himself over her and placed one leg between hers. She felt his thigh rub against her femininity and she shivered in pleasure. Richard smiled against her lips, and backed away. Kahlan latched on to his lower lip before he could fully back away, sucking on it and looking up at him with big eyes, pleading for him not to leave.

He tightened his hold around her jaw and his other hand danced up her inner thigh. Kahlan opened her mouth, releasing his lower lip in a gasp as she felt his hand touch her. She closed her eyes and moaned, feeling her body warm with the intense sensations of sexual arousal that he evoked in her. Only Richard could do this to her. Only he could touch her in such a way that left her numb and unable to respond.

Seemingly pleased with her reaction, Richard chuckled in a deep growl and descended upon the flesh between her neck and shoulder, devouring it greedily. Kahlan was left overwhelmed and stunned by the feelings he was causing within her body. She had never felt any of these tingling sensations. Whatever his hand was doing between her legs was making her extremely wet down there, and the way his mouth sucked on her neck left no doubt in her mind that there would be evidence of his presence remaining behind.

While his hand continued to work her femininity, the thumb caressing her special place, while the fingers rubbed and tickled her folds, his other hand had drifted down from her jaw and was playing with the flesh of her milk heavy breasts. He squeezed and caressed, fondled and groped. And every action and movement he made only seemed to send waves upon waves of pleasure coursing through her body. She had no idea that such things were possible.

"Spirits, Richard…," she murmured through panting breaths. "Spirits… yes. Richard! Oh, my Richard."

"Kahlan, my beautiful confessor," Richard blew a warm breath across her skin, which had considerably warmed during the past minutes. "I love you… I love you."

He moved from her neck and began kissing her breasts, using his hand to tease her aching nipples as he sucked on them. Kahlan arched her neck to look down at him. She had always wanted to see his head buried in her chest, kissing and suckling on her breasts, and now… now she finally got to see it. And it felt wonderful. It was complete bliss having Richard touch her. No man, not even a confessed mate could give her this much pleasure. She loved Richard, and loving him only seemed to make what he did more of a delight than anything else.

Richard brought his hand up from between her legs, as he worked his mouth back up her chest, tickling her neck with his tongue, before seizing a hold of her lips. Their tongues clashed in a heated battle that spoke more than any words ever could. When his hand reached her cheek, she could feel the wetness dripping from it. She looked into his eyes and opened her mouth as he slipped a finger in. Closing her lips, she sucked on his finger, tasting the essence of herself. It was extraordinary, tasting oneself. She had never done such a thing, and she was left both stunned and amazed at how much she enjoyed it.

He removed his finger and she watched in rapt awe as he cleaned off his remaining fingers, licking them with his tongue. Richard shuddered and closed his eyes, groaning softly as he leaned into her. "Spirits, Kahlan, you taste so good…," he growled into her throat as he nibbled softly on her flesh.

"Richard…," she murmured, bringing her hands up to rubbed his shoulders and back, loving the way his muscles moved as he touched her. "I want you… I want you inside me!"

"Yes, Kahlan, don't worry, I'm getting to that. I did tell you that you had won," he smirked and she felt his leg come between hers, gently pushing them apart.

Her stomach muscles tightened and her chest heaved up and down, awaiting what she hoped would be pure rapture. She felt Richard's hardness brush against her inner thigh. Kahlan arched her neck to look down and watch as he moved a hand down to guide himself to her. His other hand gripped her neck and he looked into her eyes.

"This still might be too soon, Kahlan," he said. "But you are right. We can't wait. I love you… and I have waited long enough. I will have you."

"Yes… yes!" she encouraged running her hands down his back to grip his backside the way he had gripped hers. "Have me, Richard! I give myself to you. Take me… take me!"

Kahlan frowned when Richard brushed her matted hair from her face; she hadn't noticed when they had both become so wet and moist, but they had. Both of them seemed to be dripping with sweat and steam seemed to rise around them like a physical manifestation of their passion.

"Yes, Richard…," she murmured. "Oh, yes… please."

He gave a nod and kissed her tenderly with much love. When he leaned back, readying himself, their eyes locked and Kahlan opened her mouth, awaiting the feeling she had waited so long to feel.

His tip brushed against her folds and she let out a soft whimper, her hips squirming with delight, trying to take him in already. Richard smiled, pleased with her reaction. With his hardness fully aimed and primed for entry, he brought his other hand up to hold her hip, steadying her trembling body. So ready was she for him, that she could not wait a second longer.

Kissing her lips slightly, he gently pushed himself forward, stretching her folds and entering her velvet interior. Kahlan gritted her teeth, feeling some pain and discomfort, and she worried that she had guessed wrong, that he was too large or that he had been right and that it was too soon. Her mouth dropped ever so slightly and she pushed out a moan of pain, her brow creasing in agony, as she felt his entire length push up into her insides.

Richard stopped and looked down at her in concern and worry. A confess man would not have stopped. He would have been too dedicated and determined to fulfill the orders his mistress had given. So had it been with Dragen when he had taken her. Richard caressed her cheek and his eyes screamed worry.

"Maybe… maybe it is too soon…," he said softly. "Maybe we should stop before I hurt you anymore."

Kahlan tried to shake her head, but he was already pulling back. Then, something happened as she felt his hardness brush back against her folds, the discomfort and pain seemed to drift away. Kahlan looped her arms around his neck and pulled his attention back to her. She gazed up into his eyes and shook her head.

"No… don't stop, Richard," she moaned, unable to keep the pleasure she was feeling trapped inside. "Don't stop. I love you and want to feel you within me. Make love to me, Richard. Make love to me and don't stop!"

Richard knitted his eyebrows together, but smiled just the same. "As you wish, my Kahlan," he relented, gazing down at her with complete and utter love. "As you wish."

He shifted and she felt his length pushing back up into her. Kahlan squealed in joy, pleased beyond anything that her time with Dragen and the birth of her child had not made her so loose that her inner muscles would not squeeze around Richard. She grabbed his head and pulled him to her, kissing him with all the suppressed passion and desire she had held back for two long years. Richard groaned into her mouth as she swayed her hips with his, pulling him deeper into her core. He gripped her sides and rammed into her with increasingly harder thrusts and Kahlan felt her legs go numb as he pummeled her, each motion he made accompanied by a rippling ecstasy that soared through her entire body.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and began kissing his shoulder as he moved over her, sucking and nibbling at her neck. She ran her tongue over his skin, rolling her eyes back in euphoria at the salty taste of his sweat. And with each one of his downward thrusts, Kahlan could swear that her femininity kept pouring out wet fluids, making it easier for him to push deeper with each movement.

"Oh, spirits, Kahlan," he groaned into her hair. "I thought you wouldn't be so tight after giving birth, but you are… oh, spirits… you're so tight!"

"I… I'm glad you approve," she spoke through panted breaths, laughing giggly, as she wrapped her arms around him. Using her legs for leverage, she rolled over, pushing him onto his back, and then straddling his middle.

"Oh, Kahlan!" Richard let out a hot breath, his eyes rolling back into his head, as she bucked her hips wildly over him, pushing her hands into his chest for support as she rode him like a galloping horse. Kahlan had never done such a thing and it made her laugh, as she continued moving over him with unrestrained abandon. Her thighs were dripping wet with her own fluids and she loved the sound her body made when she bounced up and down on him.

Richard gripped her hips tightly, digging his fingers into her flesh as she leaned down to kiss him. Looping her arms around his neck, she helped him sit up, pressing her breasts against his chest, as she continued squeezing him in between her legs with each movement of her body. He buried his head in her breasts, kissing and licking, as she raked her fingers through his hair, keeping his head where it was.

"Oh, Richard," she whimpered deliriously as her entire body seemed to quake and tremble with feelings she had never felt before. It was like she was going to implode with pleasure.

Richard grabbed her bottom in his hands and helped guide her into a more frenzy pace, his own hips bucking up to meet her as she descended on him. Kahlan was losing all sense of reality and she slumped her head on his shoulder, willing him to take over. She was overwhelmed with the sheer amount of bliss that was fogging her mind. Spirits, she was burning up. Just like she had asked him to do, he had done, he had ignited the fire within her and now it was burning wildly and uncontrolled.

Kahlan squeezed her legs and felt a shudder shake her whole body as she took all his length inside her. Their flesh slapped together noisily, as he gripped her in his arms and held her to him as he maneuvered her down onto her back. Kahlan whimpered, and moaned, as he moved over her, his mouth devouring hers as her eyes began to fog with the telltale signs of the loosening grip on her powers. Richard continued to plunge into her, slamming himself harder and harder against her. Kahlan groaned and moaned, loving not only the feeling, but also the sound that lingered in the air around them as his body impacted with hers. She could feel him holding and moving her around, tangling his limbs with hers as they intertwined, becoming one body, one form, moving as one.

Arching her neck back as she lost complete control, Kahlan let out a scream of sheer unadulterated ecstasy. "OH RICHARD! YES!"

Her powers released with a crescendo of thunder without sound, yet nothing happened to Richard. He did not stop or slow, only continued moving within her. When her senses returned to her, she was laying on the needle covered floor again, her legs spread wide as Richard pounded into her, his grunts and breath growing heavier with each movement.

"Richard… did I… did I just have an orgasm?" Kahlan asked, confused, never having reached release with Dragen.

Richard leaned down over her, cupping her face in his hands, nodding. "Yes, my Kahlan," he said, kissing her softly. "You did at that." He paused in his movements, keeping his length within her wetness. "Oh, Kahlan, you've given me a gift. I have never seen a woman reach such a release while I was with her." He kissed again, but this time more slowly and deeply. "Thank you, Kahlan, for showing me how much you truly wanted to be with me."

She beamed up at him, delighted beyond anything that he had given her the gift of sexual release. And that, according to him, he had never been with a woman who had had such a powerful release due to his ministrations. But most of all, for Kahlan, the fact that it had been him, and no one else, that had introduced her to the pure rapture of orgasmic release was more joyous and delightful than almost anything else.

Seeking to help him reach his own gratification, Kahlan wrapped her arms around his neck and swayed her hips around. Richard smiled lazily and continued his movements within her, barely removing himself before diving back down, pushing his length as deep as possible. She was still half-stunned and amazed that he had brought her to climax faster than his own. She had always thought that men were quick… at least Dragen always was. But Richard's threshold seemed so far, especially if this was, as he claimed, his first time engaging in these sort of activities in the past two years.

Moving her hips with his, she felt her inner muscles respond to his length each time he thrust in and out of her depths. Kahlan was not at all surprised when she began to quiver all over again, feeling the same sensations as she had before. She moaned and groaned, believing she just might release again. Richard pressed down onto her and gripped her face in his hands. He gazed deeply into her eyes as he inched his mouth closer to hers. Her lips trembled as she felt her hold on her powers weakening again. Spirits, so quickly! Was she going to reach release twice before Richard?

"Oh, spirits, Kahlan," Richard whispered in a warm voice. "I love you…"

He captured her trembling lips and kissed her deeply, devouring her, as he continued slamming hard against her femininity. Kahlan shivered and moaned, feeling warm liquid trickling out between her legs and pooled on the ground that had become warmed by their passion. A soundless crackling of thunder sounded around them as Richard brought her to release again. This one had happened so fast, compared with the first, but the bliss of it still left her numb and all she could do was lay there, unable to move. Spirits, she was drained with all the sexual pleasure he had evoked within her body.

Richard's motions quickened and she heard his breathing grow heavy. She looked up into his eyes and saw that he was approaching his threshold.

"Kiss me, Richard…," she murmured, parting her lips. "Kiss me as you release within me."

Richard smiled and pressed his mouth to her lips just as he shoved himself as deep as possible within her. She felt his body tense and he clenched his jaw, gasping her name. Kahlan pushed her hips up into him as she felt the warmth of his seed burst forth into her core. So great and long was his release that Kahlan could feel it flooding her insides with the warmth and trickling out around his hardness, dripping down her folds. She ran one hand through his hair, while with the other, she caressed his back muscles, keeping him from withdrawing himself. She knew his seed had nothing to implant at the moment, but she wanted him inside her as long as possible.

He seemed content with that, and he rested some of his weight on her, as he continued kissing her. His hands laid on her thighs, squeezing them softly as they both continued to suck on each other's faces. Kahlan enjoyed it so much that she did not want it to end. She loved the feel of his lips upon hers as his hardness throbbed and quivered within her as he seeded her barren womb. Her chest heaved up and down, as her body tingled with the sheer bliss of feeling his warmth inside her.

Kahlan knew that eventually, once she returned to her normal cycle after her body had recovered from giving birth, that Richard could then seed her womb and she could quicken with child again. But this time, it would be his child. She loved Ashley dearly, being her first child, and knew Richard loved her as well, but she so desperately wanted to give Richard a child of his blood.

When he finally slipped out of her, he was still hard, and looked ready and willing for another round, but Kahlan was spent. He had warmed her, that was for certain, and she believed that if they had been surrounded by snow to start off with, it would long ago have melted away. She could hear the wind buffering against the branches of the wayward pine, and it sounded like the blizzard was still raging on outside. But inside, it felt humid and damp. Kahlan had never had such pleasure in all her life and she told Richard as much as she rolled onto her stomach, sighing in sexual satisfaction for the first time ever.

Richard chuckled softly and leaned over her, kissing the back of her head, and brushing her hair aside so he could kiss her neck. He ran warm kisses down her spine, making her giggle. His hand brushed over the soft flesh of her rear, before his lips met the flesh and he kissed her lower cheeks, patting them with his hand to make them jiggle and bounce. Kahlan arched her neck and looked over her shoulder to watch him, laughing.

"Do you like my bum?" she asked, raising an eyebrow playfully.

Richard looked up, a boyish glint in his eyes. "Oh yes, very much," he smirked. "You have a very nice bum, Kahlan. Very nice." He leaned down and kissed the flesh of her rear again, squeezing it with his hands, before crawling back up to lay beside her. She turned onto her side and nestled her back into his chest.

He sighed, sounding exhausted and tired, yet his heart still seemed to beat a mile a minute. Kahlan smiled, enjoying the feel of their warm wet body snuggling close. This was what love was, she thought. This was how it was meant to be. Each giving the other pleasure, each loving the other for whom they were. Richard nuzzled her neck, and blew warm breaths along her flesh. He buried his head in her hair and she heard him taking in a big whiff.

"Spirits, I love your scent, Kahlan," he groaned.

She twisted around to look at him, wanting to see that boyish smirk of his. "And I love your funny grin," she winked.

"Funny grin?" he raised his eyebrow in mock insult. "Well, what about that cute little scar you have on your upper lip."

"What about it?" Kahlan's chest tighten, worried he saw it as a blemish in her otherwise statuesque beauty.

Richard knitted his eyebrows together, perplexed by her reaction. "Nothing… I just like it is all," he said, looking at her to make sure she was all right. He ran a finger along the small scar, tracing it down to then follow the line of her lips. Kahlan obliged him and parted her lips, allowing him to slip his finger inside. She locked eyes with him and sucked on his fingers as his hands drifted down her side, tickling her skin, before he cupped her rear in his hand and pulled her closer.

Releasing his finger from her mouth, Kahlan sighed with relief that he loved every part of her, and eased into his hold, as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her even closer to his warm hard body. "Now, just don't go fooling around while I'm asleep," she murmured into his chest.

"Hey, no fair," he teased. "I happen to know you've done some exploring while you thought I was asleep."

"WHAT!" her face blushed bright pink. Did he actually know that she had tried looking at him during those days long ago, thinking he was asleep, but then becoming too nervous that she was going to be caught and darting back to her bedroll before he woke.

"Thought I was asleep did you?" he laughed, his chest shaking with mirth.

Kahlan looked up at him, and narrowed her eyes. "You're teasing me," she said.

Richard shrugged. "Am I?"

"Oh, just go to sleep," she huffed, returning her head to his chest, never wanting anything else as a pillow ever again.

"Yes, my lovely confessor," he murmured, stroking his fingers through her hair and leaning forward to kiss her forehead.

Kahlan took a deep breath and closed her eyes, smiling. Never, in her wildest dreams, had she thought Richard would have taken her back, let alone make love to her in the fashion he just had. And he had been wrong; she was not in pain, nor was she bleeding. Sure, at the beginning it had hurt, but then the rapture of having him inside her had taken over and she had become numb to all but the passion and burning fire that had been sparked between them.

"I love you, Kahlan Amnell," he purred into her hair.

"And I love you, Richard Cypher," she murmured into his chest.

She felt him kiss the top of her head, and he moved slightly, pulling the cloaks back over them. And then they were back within the warm cocoon… just a little bit warmer than before.


	20. Forgotten Things

**Chapter 20 – Forgotten Things**

Richard yawned and opened his eyes. Blinking in the dim light of the wayward pine, he wondered if last night had been a dream. Despite himself, he found he was questioning the fact that it had actually happened. So long had he wanted to make love to Kahlan, that just the thought that he had finally been with her was a little hard to believe. The euphoria he had felt afterwards had almost drowned him, and he had been ready to do it all over again, teasing her bottom with kisses and playful squeezes, but he could tell that she was exhausted and overwhelmed. He admonished himself, remembering that he had just brought her back to life by using the Breath of Life, a fact that still amazed him.

He had wanted Kahlan to be his the moment he had first seen her running through the forest, her chest heaving and her body all sweaty with exertion. When he had seen her, his heart had nearly leapt out of his chest, declaring that this was the woman he wanted to spend his life with. He had not known who she was, or why she had been running, all he knew was that he was instantly drawn to her. Richard would have gladly sacrificed anything to be with that woman. And he had. He had surrendered his heart to her, only to feel it break and fall apart, then to have it restored again.

Slowly shaking the fog of sleep, and of things past, from his mind, he laughed giddily, feeling contentment for probably the first time in his life. As he woke, he felt a soft hand slide down his chest, running circles around his muscles. He laughed again as he caught sight of her beautiful face, glowing in the light cast by the embers of the dying fire. Then her hands slipped down pass his waist.

"Hey, what are you doing?" he smirked, grabbing her hand and pulling it away, giving it a soft kiss.

Kahlan gave him a mock pout. "Making up for lost time."

"I thought I was the one you were worried about?" he chuckled, grinning so wide it hurt his cheeks.

She smirked. "Well, you're the one who undressed me while I was unconscious, remember?" came her retort.

"No fair, I was trying to save your life," he replied, turning onto his side as he ran his hand tenderly down her arm, loving the feel of her smooth creamy skin beneath his fingertips.

Kahlan smiled coyly and averted her eyes from his gaze. "Oh, was that what you were trying to do," she murmured, scooting closer. "Because I thought you were trying to do something else."

"Well, to be honest, I guess I did end up doing something else," he relented, grinning. "But I did save your life."

Kahlan looked up, her face glowing with eternal bliss. "Oh, you did, yes," she whispered. "But you did far more than just save my life, Richard Cypher. You gave me warmth… a warmth I never thought I would ever feel."

He adjusted himself and moved his arm around her shoulder, tugging her close. Kahlan giggled lightly and curled her legs around his, and ran a hand along his chest.

"Thank you, Richard," she spoke softly, almost in a whisper.

"For what?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"For loving me despite everything I have done to warrant hatred instead of love," Kahlan replied.

Richard sighed and relaxed into the feel of their bodies resting against one another under the cloaks. "Well, I'm sorry," he said.

Kahlan gave him a curious look. "What do you have to feel sorry for?" she asked, confused.

A lazy boyish grin spread across his lips. "For ripping your underthings to shreds," he said, smiling.

"Well, I forgive you," Kahlan chuckled. "I really didn't need them, now did I?"

"Nope, I guess not," he leaned down and kissed her forehead, feeling their hearts beat as one.

For a while they laid there in silence, enjoying the warmth of their bodies, and listening to the crackling embers of the dying fire. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, allowing his mind to finally start thinking. Things were going to be different now, he was sure of that. Now that he had tasted Kahlan, he was going to be unwilling to let her go. He was going to want to taste her for the rest of his life. He only hoped that she felt the same after sampling him.

"Kahlan…?" he broached cautiously, unsure how to even ask this after everything that had happened in the last year.

"Yes!" she spoke vehemently, sitting up and gazing down at him, running her hand down his chest to rest above his heart.

"Huh?"

"The answer is yes," Kahlan said, grinning wildly.

"Yes to what?" his brow creased, he had yet to ask the question.

"Yes to the question I know you want to ask," she replied, leaning her body against his.

"Oh, and what question was I going to ask you?" he smirked as she lowered her mouth, bringing it inches away from his.

"Don't play sly with me, Richard Cypher," she said. "I'm the Mother Confessor. And you know very well what question."

Richard let his hand lazily explore her back, rubbing her skin as he gazed up into her sparkling blue eyes. "Then the answer is yes, eh?"

Kahlan nodded. "Yes."

"Good," he said, and winked, bringing his hand up to grab her face and close the distance between them. They embraced and Kahlan shifted, moving her legs as she crawled up on top of him. Richard groaned into her mouth as she began to grind her hips over him. He let his hand drift down her back to grab her bottom, and his other hand sought out one of her breasts.

Her hands dug into his chest as she continued to move her hips over his middle, stimulating him as he felt her quivering flesh touch him. Before he could completely lose control, Richard moved, grabbing her around the middle to pull her up into his lap as he sat up. He held her tight as he began to tickle her in all the spots he knew were ticklish. Kahlan giggled and laughed, her face lighting up with delight as he continued to torment her with his fingers.

"Stop! Oh, Richard! Stop! I surrender!" she giggled, her face turning pink.

He relented and gripped her face in his hands. "I'd love nothing more than a morning session with you, but we have to get back to the cabin before night settles in on us again."

Kahlan took a deep sigh, looking somewhat disappointed, but she nodded, agreeing. Her eyebrows then rose in worry and fear. "Ashley! Oh, spirits, Richard… I just left her there!"

"Shh, it's all right," Richard soothed her trembling body. He rubbed her back reassuringly as he consoled her. "I saw to her safety before I left to search for you. Jennsen is looking after her."

Kahlan took a breath and gave a nod, her cheeks still flush with worry. He brushed the tears that had manifested themselves away, and hugged her, delicately pressing his lips to hers in a tender loving kiss. When he pulled away, he reached over and grabbed her discarded blouse and helped her into it. Kahlan smiled and laughed slightly when his hands lingered on her chest, her cheeks warmed and turning a bright pink. He grinned and kissed her neck, then stretched his arms out as she helped him with his shirt. Kahlan kissed his bare chest before she buttoned the shirt up.

Pulling on his vest jacket, Richard stood as Kahlan stayed kneeling for a moment longer, her eyes glued on his groin. He shook his head and waved his hand out in front of her. Reluctantly she took it and stood up beside him. Richard rubbed the soft flesh of her bottom with his palm as he pulled her skirt back up into place. Kahlan took pleasure in securing his trousers and buckling his belt. At last, when they were dressed and had their boots on, Richard bent down and picked up the cloaks, shaking them a bit to rid them of any pine needles that had worked their way in whilst they had tumbled around on the soft ground beneath.

Draping one of the cloaks around her, he watched as she tugged it tight and sniffed the flaps, smiling slightly. "What?" he asked, knitting his eyebrows together as he did the same, wondering why she was smiling at him like that.

"It smells like you," Kahlan grinned dreamingly.

"Really? Well," Richard sniffed the flaps of his cloak. "Mine smells like you!" He smirked, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her waist. "And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Neither would I," Kahlan winked, and leaned forward to kiss him.

Richard savored the taste of her lips and had to restrain himself, least he begin devouring her all over again. Backing away, he turned and looked for his dagger. Finding it, he attached it back to his belt and turned back to Kahlan, lifting her hood up over her head. He patted her on the top of her hood-covered head and smiled. "Now, stay close, and don't go falling down any slopes, all right?"

"Just as long as you don't lead me down any slopes, then I'll be fine," she retorted back, smirking.

As they ducked out of the wayward pine, Richard grinned, loving how quickly they seemed to settle into their old repartee. Their little banter had been one of the only things that they had been able to truly call theirs. Now, however, there was more to their relationship than just steamy glances and quick wit. He wrapped his arm around her waist and lowered his head as they stalked out through the opening in the branches.

XXX

The ground was covered in thick snow, and they had to tread lightly. As they continued up the rise, Richard kept one hand free, while the other held Kahlan's hand, their fingers intertwined. Now that he had her—really had her, he was not going to let her go. Hiking up onto the crest of the hill, Richard recognized the feel of the wind. It indicated to him that last night's blizzard was only a sampling of things to come. He squinted, looking up into the dismal grey sky. Yes. He could make it out, but just barely.

Kahlan noticed his gaze. "What is it, Richard?" she asked, taking the opportunity in their stop to catch her breath. She was still a little tired, and recovering from being brought back to life by the Breath of Life, not to mention everything they had done afterward. Of course, she did not admit it, but he could tell.

"There is more than one storm that is going to hit us this winter," he said.

Kahlan gave a nod, looking worried. "Will we be safe in the cabin?" she inquired, as they continued on, squeezing his hand tightly.

Richard inclined his head, sucking in a gulp of the icy cold air. "I think so," he answered. "I've been chopping wood like mad, and I think we've done a good job on stocking up on provisions."

"Not to mention we've found a new method of keeping ourselves warm!" she smirked.

Richard grinned and shook his head, wondering what he had gotten himself into. But if she was turning into a sex crazed kitten, he wouldn't complain, just as long as he was always the one to satisfy her needs. As if she could sense his thoughts, she eased up closer to him, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"You know, after winter, I'm probably going to have to go back to Aydindril," she said, furrowing her brow. "Zedd's probably worried sick. I left without telling him, and I took the Sword of Truth with me."

Richard knitted his eyebrows together and looked down at her. "The Sword of Truth? Come on, Kahlan, you didn't have the Sword of Truth."

"I did," she insisted. "I commanded Dragen to steal it from Zedd before we left."

He narrowed his eyes and looked back out at the snow. "The attack," he raised his eyebrows in realization. "Spirits, I forgot… were you harmed?"

"No, they let me go," Kahlan looked away.

"Why?" not that he was unhappy that they did, but it was just confusing.

"Because of Ashley," she replied in a soft voice. "If I wasn't pregnant, they would have taken me to sell as a sex slave… I think."

Richard clenched his jaw, trying to suppress the rage he felt at someone threatening to do that to his Kahlan. However, judging from the way her shoulders slumped, he suspected she had more to say, so he let her tell him at her own pace.

"And since that was not possible, and that the leader was unwilling to force the baby out of me, they… they took the Sword of Truth instead," Kahlan finished. She looked up at him, her eyes big with sorrow and regret. "I'm sorry, Richard. I should never have let them take it. It belongs with you. You are the true Seeker."

"Shh, it's okay," he soothed, reassuringly rubbing her back. "What's important is that you and Ashley are safe. We can always get the sword back."

"But how?" Kahlan knitted her eyebrows together. "How can we possibly find it?"

"Well… the bandits that attacked you did so not far from the trading outpost, correct?" he asked.

Kahlan nodded in the affirmation.

"Then we'll start there," Richard said, trying to cheer her up. "Don't you fret, Kahlan. Let me worry about it." He hugged her close to him and she let out a frustrated breath and allowed him to guide her on through the snow.

They walked for some more, trudging through the snow, until Richard felt that Kahlan needed a rest. She shook her head, trying to deny it, but he gave her a stern glare and told her if she didn't sit down and rest that he would simply have to carry her the rest of the way. To which her response was plainly, "Go ahead."

"Alright, you want me to carry you like your some spoiled little girl, then fine!" he laughed, cupping his arm under her legs and swooping her up into his arms. Kahlan let out a surprised yelp, but relented, looping her arms around his neck as he trudged onward. Truth be told, they really weren't that far away, and he did have the strength to carry her. Spirits, he'd carry her through the Underworld and back if she asked him.

At midday they caught a glimpse of smoke rising above the trees in the horizon down the hillside, and Richard knew they were almost there. Kahlan gave him a look that said she could walk now, so he let her down and she gave him a playful punch in the arm. He feigned a grimace and asked what that was for.

"For calling me a spoiled little girl!" came her retort, smiling.

He shook his head and grabbed her hand as he led her through the trees and underbrush, down into the clearing. Richard let out a sigh of relief when they pushed out of the foliage, brushing the snow from their cloaks and began the quick walk up to the cabin. He could see someone walking around in the kitchen, and grinned, pleased that they were back… and that they were together.

Kahlan caught his arm and held him tight. "Richard!" she hissed, pointing out to the trees.

Richard frowned, but followed her gaze. He narrowed his eyes and blinked, not knowing if he wanted to believe it. However, nothing could deny reality. Tethered not far away, under the cover of trees, was a collection of big horses. He had seen all the horses used by the trappers in the region, and none of these looked familiar. Immediately his heart jumped up into his throat and he reached for the dagger sheathed on his belt.


	21. Rush

**Chapter 21 – Rush**

Kahlan's heart was beating so profoundly in her chest that she was sure that Richard could hear it. But his attention was elsewhere, focused on the shadowy figure pacing back and forth in the kitchen window. He grabbed her by her arm and pulled her down. She suppressed a yelp, knowing he was only doing so for her safety. Her mind reeled with all the terrible possibilities. And Kahlan was not at all surprised when her thoughts quickly turned to Ashley, as she feared for her child's life. She looked over at Richard, biting her lower lip, seeing his brow lower and his eyebrows knitting together as if he was plotting something.

She watched as he unsheathed his dagger. "Kahlan," he whispered softly. "Stay here and—"

"No," she hissed back.

"Kahlan," Richard groaned, rolling his eyes.

"No, Richard, you will listen to me," Kahlan spoke in a low, but firm voice. "I will not just stay here and let you go rushing into that cabin alone. My daughter's in there! I am going with you and that's final."

Richard frowned but gave a nod, relenting, and handed her the dagger. Kahlan raised her eyebrows and tried to hand it back, but he shook his head. "If you're going in there, Kahlan, then I want you to be able to defend yourself," he said, his voice stern, but also filled with love and concern.

"But what about you?" she asked, feeling her heart pound with worry for his safety. She could not lose him so soon after she finally got to have him. Not now, not when they were finally together.

"I'll make do," he said matter-of-factly, like it was no big deal. "Just stay close and be quick."

"I always am," Kahlan replied twirling the dagger around in her hand, showing him that she had not lost her abilities. She was not about to let him do this alone. Whether he liked it or not she had a vested interest in what was going on in there. Spirits, her first born was in that cabin and if something had happened to her… Kahlan shook her head. She could not even think it.

"Alright," Richard gave a nod, his eyes narrowing. "Follow my lead."

"I will always follow you, Richard," Kahlan whispered softly, reaching over to give his hand a squeeze.

Richard reciprocated her gesture, and then slowly slipped out of his cloak. Kahlan did the same, knowing that in a fight the long flaps would have restricted their movements, especially in close quarters.

"Ready?" he asked, looking at her, his warm brown eyes filled with worry.

Kahlan took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the cold winter air, and nodded. "Ready."

Richard inhaled through his nose and then was off, crossing the remaining distance between them and the cabin in the blink of an eye. Kahlan did her best to keep pace, but it was difficult. She had not run like this in many months, having spent most of her time heavy with child and then laying about depressed and worried she had lost Richard's love. Added to that, she was still exhausted from last night's activities, not to mention being resurrected, as it were. Kahlan was still stunned, almost beyond belief, that Richard had given her the Breath of Life. She had always believed that such a talent was only something that the Mord'Sith possessed, but apparently Richard had it as well. There was a part of her that was curious to find out the reason for that, but the current situation needed her full attention.

Kahlan followed Richard up the steps and watched as he lowered his shoulders and plowed through the door, knocking it off its hinges. Immediately a blurry man in a fur coat tried to tackle Richard, but the Seeker was quicker. He grabbed the man by the neck, wrapping his arms around him. Kahlan shuddered when she heard a sickening crack, averting her gaze as the man went limp. Richard pulled out the man's sword, and just in time, because two more men appeared from the hall.

Jumping out of the way, Kahlan spun the dagger in her hand, slicing through the man's bicep as he raised his sword above his head. Richard and the other man fought, but it was over quickly as Richard, having wielded the Sword of Truth, was far superior in sword fighting. He dispatched the other man and rushed to her aide, but it was not required. She had already dealt with the attacker, stabbing him in the chest, and then with a quick swing, cutting his throat. He collapsed to the floor, clutching his bleeding neck, unable to scream or make any other noise beside a sickening gurgle.

Kahlan's chest heaved as she remembered fighting along Richard when they had first met, being amazed out his skill. Now, here they were again, fighting side by side. However, this time it was not a D'Haran battalion they were facing, but a group of bandits who had invaded Richard's cabin. She felt her heart thump beneath her breast as she recognized the men. She turned to Richard, her eyes wide with worry.

"Richard, these are the same men who attack Dragen and me in forest," she informed him.

Richard narrowed his eyes and gave a nod, turning as the door to his bedroom opened. Kahlan recognized the bandit leader as he stepped out, holding Jennsen in front of him like a shield.

"Drop your weapons or I kill the woman!" he snarled.

Jennsen's eyes were wide with terror, and all Kahlan could think about was where was Ashley. Where was her baby? Richard clenched his jaw, but did as he was told. The sword fell loudly to the floorboards with a noisy clang. The bandit boss locked eyes with Kahlan.

"Drop it, little lady," he said, grinning. He clearly remembered her. His dark eyes scanned her and his grin widened.

Kahlan scowled, but did so, knowing she had other ways of protecting herself. She had been afraid of using her powers when they had first met, for fear of harming her child, but now she had no such fear. As her dagger hit the floor, two more men appeared from the hall. One grabbed Richard, pinning him against the wall. He was larger and more brawny than Richard and was able to hold him firmly, even as he struggled. The other came towards Kahlan, but made no move to grab her. She quickly glanced over her shoulder, sizing him up. She recognized him as the one who had wanted to shed her of her child. He was also the one who had taken the Sword of Truth from her. And he still had it, attached to his belt.

The bandit boss stepped forward, keeping a tight hold of Jennsen, his knife grazing her throat. He stared across the room at Kahlan and smiled. "I see my men were right," his eyes lingered on her heaving bosom. "You are quite a prize. Now that you're ripe for the picking again, you will fetch a handsome sum on the markets."

"If you lay a finger on her… I will kill you!" Richard growled, struggling against the man holding him.

The bandit boss laughed. "Is this your brother _or_ lover?"

Kahlan gritted her teeth, she was not going to give the man the satisfaction of an answer. He frowned when she did not answer, but shrugged.

"No matter, either way, we can't have him following us after we take you two women, now can we?" he turned to the man holding Richard and gave a nod.

The man grinned, his dark eyes lighting up with sick pleasure. Kahlan made a move to go for Richard, but the man behind her quickly grabbed a hold of her. It was his first mistake, however, her mind was not focused on what was going on to her. Instead, all of her attention was directed towards what was happening to the man she loved. Kahlan cried out as the brute gripped Richard by the collar and flung him hard against the kitchen table, rendering it into pieces.

"RICHARD!" Kahlan cried out, struggling against the man holding him.

"No! Kahlan… stay there," Richard wheezed out, attempting to stand, clutching his middle where a jagged piece of wood was sticking out.

"That's right, dearie," the bandit boss sneered. "Stay there!" He turned to his comrade. "Kill him…," his dark eyes looked up to Kahlan and he smirked, wickedly. "And make him suffer."

"With pleasure, boss," the man snarled.

Richard attempted to stand again, but the pain in his side was obviously too much. He faltered and the bandit descended on him with a fierce punch to the gut, and a right hook across the jaw. Richard stumbled and fell. The man advanced, kicking him in the middle. He then bent over and proceeded to pummel Richard with his fists. Kahlan let out a sob as she heard Richard cry out in pain. Her heart hammered in her chest, and she was vaguely aware of hearing Jennsen crying as well, as the man continued to beat Richard.

"No… no!" Kahlan screamed as she tried to remove herself from her captor's grip and go to the man she loved. She cried out in horror as she saw blood dripping from the brute's fists as he continued to beat Richard. Her body rocked with sobs as she heard Richard's cries of torment, combined with the sickening sounds of the man's fists impacting with Richard's body.

"Leave him alone!" she wailed.

"Why so worried about this man, dearie?" the bandit boss said. "Have you spread you're legs for him like you did that man that got you with child?" he laughed. "A good slut that one. She'll probably enjoy herself!"

The man clutching Kahlan laughed as well. The talk only made Kahlan shudder with fear. "Ah, don't worry, little lady," her captor breathed down her neck. She clenched her jaw as she felt him kiss her skin and shoulder, his hand grabbing her breast. "You'll have plenty of men who will need your services soon. I'm sure you'll find some satisfaction."

He continued to grope her breast as he sucked on her neck.

The bandit boss clutched Jennsen closer and looked down at her. "Don't you fret, kitten," he purred lecherously. "You're just as pretty as her. And besides, you'll fetch a higher price. We always get more gold for virgins."

Jennsen let out a wail, and tears ran down her cheeks as the bandit boss shoved his hand down her blouse and fondled her. He licked her jaw and kissed her cheek.

"Yes, you'll fetch me a better price than that slut over there," he grinned.

The man holding Kahlan stopped his groping and held her firmly, pushing her closer, forcing her to watch as blood began to pool around Richard's now limp form. She let out a sniffle when she saw he was still alive, his head slowly turning back and forth. His cheek was swollen and red, his lips cracked and bleeding. The skin around his right eye was inflamed and puffy, blood trickling down his face. His mouth opened and she thought she heard him gasp her name.

"Oh, Richard… no," she whimpered softly.

"Enough with the beating," the man holding Kahlan huffed. "Just kill him, already!"

"Alright, alright," the brute let out a breath. "Keep your pantyhose on."

Kahlan shook in horror as she saw the man remove his dagger from its sheath, and bent down to grip Richard by his hair. He pulled Richard's neck back and brought the dagger to his throat. Kahlan's heart hammered fiercely in her chest and her face contorted in utter terror. Then, with a sudden crack, her heart snapped and a thunderous boom seemed to explode throughout her body.


	22. Rage

**Chapter 22 – Rage**

Kahlan shook, almost violently, as she threw back her head and screamed. It was a deep resounding roar that came from the very depths of her being, filling her entire body with purpose and rage. The world around her changed in a blur, becoming shrouded in red, but Kahlan was still very much aware of what was going on, though she could do little to control her own actions. The first thing she did was spin around on the man holding her and grabbed his throat, releasing her powers into him. Thunder without sound engulfed the room and he was hers in the blink of an eye. He dropped to his knees and looked up at her with complete and utter devotion in his eyes.

"Command me, mistress."

XXX

Richard groaned, vaguely aware of what was going on. He heard Kahlan scream and he tried to sit up. The pummeling he had been receiving had stopped. Why? He did not know, nor did he complain. His head was throbbing and one eye was so swollen he could not see through the puffed up skin. Using his good eye, he looked up, seeing Kahlan grabbing her captor by the throat, confessing him in an instant. When she did not collapse in exhaustion, he realized what had happened. She had gone into the Con Dar.

He heard the man ask for commands and Richard laid there, waiting to see what Kahlan would do. Richard watched, suppressing the pain in his side, as he observed Kahlan yanking a sword from the man's belt. The ring the steel made when it met the air was familiar… oh so familiar.

"Mistress, command me," the confessed man asked again, his voice laced with the desperate need to please his mistress.

Kahlan cocked her head and looked down at him. She opened her mouth and spoke only one word. "Die."

A strange sort of smile formed on the man's lips and he immediately collapsed, falling face first to the floorboards, dead. He died happy, having pleased his mistress. Kahlan spun around, her hair moving gracefully about her beautiful face, which now held an emotionless mask of the Con Dar. Her eyes, though, were a different matter. They had turned completely black with the Blood Rage, and they were filled with hate and rage. Richard watched, feeling agony with each breath, as his beloved raised the sword and did battle with the man who had been beating him.

The brute was huge, but Kahlan was smaller and faster. She jabbed him in the sides and sliced at his back, before she was able to get enough clearance and grasp his neck. He was confessed in a heartbeat. Richard listened as his gruff voice asked for commands, to which Kahlan's reply was the same one word. "Die."

The floorboards shook when the man fell to his knees and collapsed dead. Richard felt an odd sort of satisfaction, lying there on the floor, seeing the man who had nearly beat him to death, being killed by a confessor in the grips of the Blood Rage. He took a deep breath through his nose, every breath hurting. However, he was still alert enough to watch as his Kahlan, his precious Kahlan, advanced on the bandit boss, toting the sword up in front of her, smeared with the blood of his comrade.

Her arm rose, her fingers outstretched, and Richard could hear the bandit boss mumbling some excuses, as he tried to turn the tide to his favor. Richard let out a painful chuckle, grimacing in the pain. But it was worth it, just to laugh. There was no way the man was going to be able to talk himself out of this one, not with a confessor bent on revenge. Especially when that confessor was in the throws of the Con Dar.

Richard wheezed and turned onto his side, coughing up blood. He tried his best to stay conscious, knowing that when Kahlan had finished extracting her revenge, he was the only one that could bring her back from the brink. He felt the thunder without sound and glimpsed the bandit boss's eyes grow wide as he was confessed. Jennsen, being pristinely ungifted, was left unaffected, immune to the touch of magic.

"Command me, confessor," the newly devoted man declared.

"Release her," Kahlan command, standing stiff before him.

"Yes, mistress," the bandit let go.

Jennsen shuddered with relief, and then rushed to Richard's side, kneeling down besides him. She brought his head into her lap, and cried. He tried mumbling out questions, but his lip was too swollen to allow him to speak. He kept his good eye locked on Kahlan. The confessor narrowed her black eyes.

"Where's my baby?" she demanded of the confessed bandit.

"Baby?" he looked beside himself with worry and grief. "Forgive me, mistress, but there was no baby. Just the red-haired woman."

His answer did not please his mistress, and he knew it. He crumpled on the floor, wailing in despair, pleading for forgiveness. The confessor would not grant him it. She gave him the same order she had given the others. He smiled, as if he had been touched by the Creator herself, and then died on the spot. Richard shuddered as he heard the sickening crack of bone's snapping as the man's neck hit the floorboards at completely the wrong angle. If he had not died at his mistress command, the fall would have certainly done the trick.

Still gripped by the rage, Kahlan spun on them and lowered the sword to Richard's throat. Her black eyes glared down at him. "Where is my baby?" she demanded.

Richard grabbed a hold of Jennsen's arm, preventing his sister from doing anything stupid. "Kahlan… it's me… it's Richard," he managed to choke out.

The confessor bent down and gripped his neck, pulling him up. Jennsen cried out, not knowing what to do. Richard tried telling her not to worry, but he was assaulted with new sensations of pain as Kahlan forced him onto his feet. He grimaced and groaned in the pain, surprised at her strength as she flung him up against the wall. Richard tried filling his one good eye with all the love he felt for her, but he did not know if it was enough, not with how bruised and battered he was. Holding him up against the wall, Kahlan looked at him, cocking her head ever so slightly. Her dark eyes scanned his face, as if noticing the bruises and swollen skin for the first time.

"I know you," she said, her voice soft and filled with confusion.

"Yes… yes, you do," he said. "I'm Richard… I… I love you, Kahlan."

"Love?" her eyebrows knitted together.

"Yes, Kahlan," Richard murmured, grimacing in pain as he breathed. "Love. Remember? We love each other."

"Richard," she sounded out his name, her dark eyes flooding with recognition. Kahlan closed her eyes and her head seemed to drop. He felt her grip around his neck loosen.

"Jennsen, catch her!"

His sister rushed forward and caught a hold of Kahlan as she slumped in exhaustion. Spirits, it always pained him to see Kahlan collapse after confession. The Con Dar always exhausted her the most, but still she usually was alert enough afterwards to be able to speak. Usually Richard would be clutching her tightly and whispering his love at this juncture, but things were different this time. He groaned and slipped to the floor, feeling the pain in his side from where the wooden splitter had pierced his abdomen. He reached for Kahlan, wanting to hold her face in his hand, but the agony was overwhelming and he passed out.

XXX

Kahlan sucked in a breath, feeling spent as she collapsed to her knees. She could feel someone holding her and hoped it was Richard. She blinked, and then remembered what had happened. She'd gone into the Con Dar and the bandits met the wrath of an angered confessor. She opened her eyes and looked frantically around for the man she loved. Seeing him, she let out a cry and pushed Jennsen off her, scrambling over to Richard.

"Where's Cara!" Kahlan cried. "She can give him the Breath of Life!"

"We saw the bandits coming, so Cara took the baby and rushed into the woods for safety," Jennsen said, ringing her hands in front of her, beside herself with concerned for her brother.

"Well go find her!" Kahlan wailed, clutching Richard's limp form to her chest. "Find her! And bring my daughter back to me!"

Jennsen nodded and darted out of the cabin. Kahlan sobbed and rocked back and forth as she held Richard's head to her breast. She closed her eyes, letting the tears flow out. She could not lose him, not now, not when they had finally made love and could have a life together. Biting her lower lip, she prayed to the good spirits to allow him to live. He had to live. He was Richard. He was the Seeker of Truth. But more importantly, he was the man she loved. The man who had found a way to love a confessor.

Adjusting herself on the floor, Kahlan brought the Sword of Truth forward. She pulled one of his arms up to his chest, and placed the pommel of the sword—_his sword!_—in his hand. She kissed his brow and ran her fingers through his hair, softly sobbing.

"Please, Richard," she whimpered quietly. "Don't leave me. Don't leave me."


	23. A Confessor's Vigil

**Chapter 23 – A Confessor's Vigil**

Alone with Richard in the cabin, Kahlan just sat there, tenderly caressing his face, brushing his hair away from his brow and murmuring her love for him. If there was anything that would keep him going, she prayed it was his love. It was the one thing that always seemed constant with Richard. It was the one thing that always kept him going when others would give up. After spirits knows how long, Kahlan sat up and used all her strength to pull him into the bedroom. She needed even more to heave him up onto the bed, but once he was there, she felt better. Tucking the blankets around his battered body, she sat on the edge of the bed and kissed his swollen lips, whispering her undying love as she backed away.

Kahlan did not know what to do with the dead bandits, so she just left them where they fell. She went to the washroom and fetched a washbowl and cleaning cloth. Testing the waters, making sure they were warm, Kahlan closed her eyes and relinquished to her grief. Her hot tears streamed down her cheeks, mixing with the warmed water of in the washbowl. Silently sobbing, she clutched the bowl close and slowly made her way back to the bedroom. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she set the washbowl down on the nightstand. Kahlan dipped the cloth in the water, and gently ran it over Richard's forehead and face, cleaning his bruises.

Sucking in a breath, and wiping the tears from her eyes, needing to concentrate, Kahlan let out a cry as she pulled the wooden splinter from his abdomen. Blood gushed out and she pressed her palm to the opened wound, trying to stem the flow of his life's energy. When it would not stop, pooling and soaking the sheet and mattress, Kahlan reluctantly went back to the kitchen. Wailing over what she was going to have to do, she picked up an iron poker from the hearth and brought the glowing orange metal back into the bedroom. Pressing her weight on Richard, she pressed the searing hot iron to his wound and cried as she heard the sick sizzling and smelled his flesh burn. He would have a scar there.

When the wound had cauterized, Kahlan removed the iron poker and returned it to the hearth. Returning to Richard, she found him feverish. She sniffled and continued her work with the cloth, seeking to soothe him the best she could. Though her thoughts were on Richard, she still thought of her daughter, and how worried sick she was about her safety. She did know if she trusted the Mord'Sith with Ashley, especially after everything Cara had said. After an hour had passed and Jennsen had not returned, Kahlan grew concerned that they would not return. Perhaps something had happened. Maybe there were more bandits out there, lurking in the woods. What if Jennsen and Cara had been captured and were being taken away as slaves at this very moment? What would become of her daughter then?

Shaking her head, trying to rid her mind of such worries, though it was frustratingly impossible to do, Kahlan focused all her attention on the man she loved. She had managed to stop the bleeding, but she feared she had been too late. Gripping the washcloth tightly in her fist, Kahlan's chest heaved with racking sobs, as she curled up on the bed beside him. She draped one arm around his chest and nuzzled his neck, pleading with him to come back to her. She could not lose him. She needed his strength, his presence to exist. Without him… without Richard, what was the point of living?

Feeling exhausted from everything that had happened in the last couple of days, Kahlan rested her head on his chest, wanting to be close enough to hear the beating of his heart. At least she had that to comfort her, it was still beating. Closing her eyes, she asked the good spirits to send her pleasant dreams of happier times.

XXX

"Kahlan! Kahlan!"

The urgency of the voice was enough to pull her from her slumber. Kahlan sat up, tucking her loose hair behind an ear. She gave Richard a quick kiss on the lips before slipping off the bed and slowly heading out to the kitchen. Kahlan pushed the door open, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Almost immediately, after she stepped through the threshold and into the kitchen, she felt arms encircle her.

"Oh, Kahlan!" it was clearly Jennsen.

Kahlan returned the hug, but her mind was racing, wondering if Jennsen had found Cara and Ashley. When Richard's sister finally stepped back, Kahlan looked around and nearly yelled out in joy when she saw Cara standing to the side holding Ashley. The Mord'Sith remained stoic, inched closer and handed Ashley over. The little confessor let out a little happy gurgle, her little fingers grabbing for Kahlan's blouse. The Mother Confessor held her baby close and kissed her head. Sniffling, and brushing a tear from her eye, Kahlan looked up at Cara.

"Cara, thank you," she murmured, looking back down at her baby, and listening as she made soft cooing noises.

Cara clenched her jaw and gave a curt nod. "I… I apologize for the other day," she said. "It was not my place. Richard made it clear that you are the one he loves. And if… if you'll have me, I will serve you as I serve him."

Kahlan gave a nod, not fully ready to forgive, but for the time being she needed Cara. "Richard is severely injured… he might even be dying," Kahlan choked up, trying to hold back her tears.

"I understand," Cara said with a nod. "I will try the Breath of Life."

"Thank you," Kahlan sniffled, clutching Ashley to her.

"It is my duty," the Mord'Sith said softly. "He is the Lord Rahl. I am his servant."

Kahlan stepped aside, giving the Mord'Sith space to enter the bedroom. Following behind her, rocking Ashley gently in her arms, Kahlan bit her lower lip and knitted her eyebrows together as she looked down at the man she loved. Cara briskly walked over to the bed and examined Richard's wounds. She lifted the cloth over his abdomen, scrutinizing the burned flesh.

"You cauterized that wound?" she inquired, looking over her shoulder at Kahlan.

"Yes… did I do something wrong?" Kahlan was worried she had made things worse.

"No, not at all," Cara said, smirking. "You did good."

Kahlan smiled softly, and then lowered her eyes. "Can… can you help him?" she asked.

"Most of his injuries are superficial," the Mord'Sith replied, her eyes scanning Richard's wounds. "Though there might be some internal bleeding… I will give him the Breath of Life, just to be safe."

"Do it."

Cara nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed. Kahlan took a deep breath, and bit her lower lip, suppressing the jealous feelings she got seeing Cara's lips so close to Richard's. There was no reason to be jealous, Richard had proven his love for her during their time in the wayward pine, and he did it in more ways than one. It was over before Kahlan knew it had even started, not at all what she had expected. The Mord'Sith leaned back and knitted her eyebrows together.

"He will live," she said confidently. Cara stood, facing Kahlan and Jennsen. "The Lord Rahl will need some rest." She paused and looked directly at Kahlan. "Someone will need to watch over him."

With that said, the Mord'Sith declared she would deal with the bodies of the bandits and left. Kahlan stood there with a shocked expression plastered on her face. The Mord'Sith never gave her the opportunity to thank her. Well, she guessed that's how Cara wanted it.

"Would you like anything?" Jennsen asked. "Some tea or something to eat?"

"Some tea would be nice, I guess," Kahlan said, inclining her head slightly.

Jennsen nodded and left the room, closing the door gently behind her. Crossing the room, Kahlan eased the sleeping baby into the crib. After tucking in little Ashley and fiddling with her tangled mess of dark hair, Kahlan returned to Richard's side, sitting on the edge of the bed. She reached down and caressed Richard's forehead. Her heart beat with joy when she heard him take a breath and saw him stir at her touch. Kahlan almost squealed with delight, but she held off, not wanting to wake Ashley. With her trembling hands, Kahlan gripped his face and leaned down to give him a slow and tender kiss.

When she pulled back, Jennsen entered with a tray of bread and cheeses, and of course, a cup of tea. Kahlan smiled and thanked her. Jennsen set the tray on the bedside table and left. Kahlan picked up the teacup and held it below her nose, closing her eyes as she savored the aroma. She took a delicate sip, and then set it back down. Scooting up on the bed, resting her back on the headboard, Kahlan adjusted Richard, placing his head in her lap.

Tenderly running her hands through his unruly brown hair, she thought of the future that lay ahead of them. She couldn't wait until they got back to Aydindril and started working on making another confessor. Smiling at the thought, Kahlan reached over to dip the washcloth in the bowl and began cleaning his bruises and wounds again. Wiping his brow, and sighing, Kahlan wished he were better already. She wanted to see his warm brown eyes and hear his voice. Spirits, she wanted his arms around her again. She wanted to be with him again.

He stirred at her touch and Kahlan smiled. Despite the swollen lip and bruises, Richard was still very handsome, and she grinned, seeing the faintest flutter of a smile work its way onto his face as she touched him. Her grin widened to a beaming smile. She was determined never to leave his side. If she had to stay in the bedroom for the rest of the winter, nursing him back to health, then she would. Kahlan slowly finished her meal, then eased down onto the bed, curling up beside Richard, tucking his arm around her middle. She tugged him close and kissed his cheek, before resting her head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeats, before going to sleep.

XXX

She woke with a start, hearing Ashley wailing. Slowly slipping away from Richard, Kahlan stood up and rushed over to her child. Bending down, she picked up the little confessor and rocked her gently in her arms. Nothing seemed to work. She paced back and forth, hoping that that would soothe her baby, but the little girl just kept crying. Kahlan furrowed her brow, and then shook her head, wondering why she had not thought of it first. She went back to the bed and sat down.

Unbuttoning her blouse, she found that she was correct. Ashley latched on the moment a breast came into sight and began suckling. Kahlan caressed the back of the infant's head and exhaled softly. She was exhausted, but not as tired as before. And breastfeeding Ashley seemed to relax her nerves. Kahlan closed her eyes and took a deep breath, allowing her mind to wander, the soft sounds of Ashley feeding calming her. Her daughter grabbed at her with her little fingers and Kahlan smiled, brushing back her daughter's hair. The little confessor stared up at her with big blue eyes, very much like her own.

Kahlan looked over at Richard and wished he were awake to share this moment with her. In the first few weeks of her motherhood, Richard had been instrumental in helping her care for Ashley, and she had enjoyed that time. She was looking forward to spending more time with him and Ashley. After Richard had broken her of her depression, Kahlan had found herself being able to pretend that they were a family. There was nothing in the way Richard treated Ashley that said he held any ill will towards the baby. And he seemed to love Ashley as if she were his own. Kahlan wondered if he'd feel the same once they conceived a child of there own. Zedd and the council would insist on that, wanting a more stable base for the line of confessors. With Richard at her side, Kahlan would be more than happy to accommodate them.

"Kahlan?"

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. It was weak, and coarse, but it was his voice. Keeping Ashley clutched to her breast, she eased down and glanced over at him. Using her free hand, she reached up and caressed his cheek.

"Oh, Richard," she mumbled. "I'm sorry."

He knitted his eyebrows together and let out a soft groan. "For what, Kahlan?"

"I should have gone into the Con Dar sooner," she explained. "I could have stop them from doing this to you." Tears rolled down her face.

Richard coughed slightly, but managed to shift onto his side. He grimaced, yet was still able to reach over and brush her tears away. "Don't cry, Kahlan," he murmured. "You did good. You saved me." His one good eye looked over at Ashley and he smiled. He moved his hand over and caressed the soft dark hair on the tiny confessor's head. "And you have Ashley back." He looked back at her. "We're together, Kahlan. And that's all that matters."

"Oh, Richard," Kahlan whimpered softly and leaned over to kiss him. She closed her eyes, relishing the feel of his lips as he reciprocated her kiss. She did not care that they were swollen and puffy. He was her Richard, and she never wanted to lose him again.


	24. The Seeker's Recovery

**Chapter 24 – The Seeker's Recovery**

Being trapped in bed was something he did not like. Richard was used to doing things for himself and it was hard to accept other people waiting hand and foot on him. Though, he didn't mind Kahlan sitting or laying with him, it was the little things, like needing assistance to stand and go to the washroom to relieve himself. He did not want Kahlan helping him to do that. Not because he was vain or anything, she'd seen him at his worse before, when he had been captured by Denna, but he could tell in her eyes that it pained her to see him in such agony. And he did not like seeing her worry.

His side still hurt and throbbed, the scarred skin still pink. Kahlan had told him that she had been forced to cauterize the wound with a hot poker from the hearth. She looked worried and afraid that he was going to get angry. To reassure his love, he used what little strength he had to grip her face by the neck and lower jaw and pull her towards him for a kiss. Kahlan smiled and let out a little giggle as his hand wandered away from her neck and began to roam aimlessly. She took his hand and shook her head.

"You need to rest, Richard," she mumbled, looking at him with a smoldering gaze that spoke volumes to the amount of desire she had wanting to be with him again.

"I can rest later," he responded, trying to grabbed at her again. She backed up and gave him a playful smirk, before ramming against him with a wet and passionate kiss.

Richard grinned, pleased that his swollen lip had healed already, though it was still cracked. It allowed him to kiss and nibble at his confessor. Kahlan liked it as well, because she would kiss and nibble back. Of course, Richard had to share his Kahlan with Ashley. The little confessor seemed to be growing hungrier by the day and Kahlan was having trouble keeping up. She had to make sure she ate and kept up her strength so that she would produce enough milk to satisfy the voracious little eater.

He did not mind sharing that time with Ashley, because it gave him an excuse to stare uninterrupted at Kahlan's breasts. She would laugh at him, and question why he even found her attractive when she was not as firm or toned as before. And he'd respond by reaching over and tickling her, which resulted in a playful whack to the head. Richard would only grin boyishly and attempt it again, only to receive the same punishment.

Richard did not know how long he had spent in the bedroom, recovering, but Kahlan never seemed to leave his side. The only times she left were to bathe or use the washroom. Jennsen or Cara, whom he was not sure he liked seeing, would bring them food. Kahlan informed Richard how Cara had saved Ashley, telling him that for the time being, at least, the Mord'Sith was still useful to them, and was clearly devoted to serving Richard.

He spent the better part of the day harassing Kahlan, trying to find out just how long he'd spent recovering in this bed. He was ready to get out of the cabin and back into his woods. He was not one to just simply lay in bed, he had to do something. Richard was going stir crazy with nothing to do. Kahlan smiled and brushed his hair away from his brow.

"All right," Kahlan sighed, looking like she wanted to keep him trapped in bed for his entire life. He wouldn't mind being trapped in a bed with Kahlan, just as long as they played around, but she had been reluctant to do anything besides kissing, claiming that he was still too weak to do anything else. Richard would groan and say he was fine. Spirits, how he wanted to feel Kahlan again, to hear her moan and smell her sweat as their bodies mingled and thrived together as they made love. The memories of their time in the wayward pine had helped to sustain him, but damnit, he wanted to make some more memories.

"It's been two weeks," she finally answered his insistent questioning.

"Two weeks?" echoed Richard, stunned, believing it had been longer than that. Spirits, he really wasn't as good at judging time as he thought he was. He had thought he'd been stuck in this damn room for months.

"Yes, two weeks," Kahlan said nodding, easing down next to him. "Why? Did it seem longer?"

Richard narrowed his eyes as he looked up at the ceiling. "Yes, I suppose it did," he shifted onto his side to look at her beautiful face.

"Not that I didn't mind the company," he smiled, reaching over to run his fingers through her long lush dark brown hair that looked almost raven black in the dim light.

Kahlan closed her eyes and eased into his touch. "I didn't mind the company, as well," she purred, inching closer and planting her lips softly on his.

Richard closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around her, relishing her soft body as it pressed against him. "Oh, Kahlan," he murmured into her ear when they let go of each other. "I want to be with you again… so much."

A mischievous grin grew across the confessor's face. "Why do you think Ashley's with her Auntie Jennsen?"

His eyebrows rose and he arched his neck up to look across the room at the crib. Sure enough, Ashley was not in there. They were alone. Just the two of them. He looked back at Kahlan to see that she was moving over him, her hands unlacing his trousers. She leaned down and kissed him slowly as her hands continued to work the laces of his trousers. He was free within moments and he felt her fingers around him.

He let out a soft groan, moaning into her mouth as Kahlan began to stimulate him with her hands. "Oh, Kahlan," he murmured. "I love you. And I will always love you."

"I love you, too, my Richard," Kahlan cooed back, beginning to plant soft kisses on his exposed chest. Sitting back, straddling him with her legs, she seductively removed her blouse one button at a time. He was salivating with want by the time her blouse was fully unbuttoned, not waiting for an invitation as he brought his hands up to feel her breasts.

Kahlan moaned softly and wiggled her shoulders around until her blouse slipped off, falling down her back. Shifting, Kahlan hiked up her skirts and tugged her underthings down. Richard's breathing was growing more and more labored as Kahlan descended on him, grinding her hips over his ever-growing arousal, teasing him with brief hinting contacts with her flesh. Placing one hand on his chest, just above his heart, Kahlan slipped the other between her legs and grabbed him, directing him to her. Ever so slightly she lowered herself onto him, her mouth dropping as she issued out a moan.

"Oh, Richard…," she moaned as she brought her other hand beck to his chest, using him for support as she moved over him.

"Kahlan…," Richard groaned, feeling the pleasure of becoming one with the woman he loved.

Perched over him, Kahlan looked like a divine spirit with her long dark tresses cascading down around her beautiful face. Richard lost himself in the depths of her sparkling blue eyes as she leaned down to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around her and spun her over, causing her to giggle. He laughed and nibbled at her neck as they slowly continued to make love, mingling and intertwining their bodies until there was no clear definitive line to show where one began and the other ended. Tonight, in that bedroom, they were simply one.


	25. Doubts and Concerns

**Chapter 25 – Doubts and Concerns**

With Richard now mostly recovered, Kahlan felt more comfortable with allowing him out of the room. If she had needed any proof that he was ready to go outside again, it was the ferocity of his lovemaking. She was still half amazed with herself. Never had she been the one to instigate intimate relations. Sure, with Dragen, she had commanded him to do it, but she did not do anything to stimulate him like she did with Richard. She found that she liked it, especially with how it made Richard so excited that he brought her to release almost three times that night. The last one was a bit of a stretch but he had kept working at it until she told him that it was alright… he had done his duty as her lover and pleased her.

Richard had smirked, declaring that his duty in that regard was never over; that he would spend the rest of his life pleasing her. Kahlan laughed slightly at that, but stopped, seeing in his warm brown eyes that he truly meant it. "Then I shall relish every day with you, my Richard," was her response.

Ashley stayed with Jennsen for two more nights. Richard and Kahlan would stay up long into the wee hours of the morning making love. Kahlan relished every moment of it, especially how kind and gentle Richard was with her. She never felt any pain when she was with him, like she had with Dragen, quite the opposite really. Richard always gave her pleasure, taking her to heights of euphoria that Kahlan never knew existed. Though she was worried, because she had yet to have her cycle again. She knew that it had long since been time for her to starting bleeding once a month, but it had not come yet. But her worries and concerns over that were swept aside, as Richard captured her lips with his as he spun her around onto her back and moved over her, sending her into blissful oblivion.

In the morning, she woke to him tenderly rubbing her bare arm. She beamed up at him and he smiled back, brightening her whole world. He gave her a good morning kiss, and then sat up, declaring he was ready to get out of the bed, having spent the majority of the past two days making love. She sat up next to him and kissed him deeply, agreeing that it was time they got out and about. Besides, she needed to check on Ashley, her poor little daughter was probably wondering where her mother had gone. Kahlan insisted on helping him dress, which he eagerly agreed, as long as he got to help her. So, they dressed each other, letting their hands linger on all their intimate places. Kahlan felt as giddy as a little girl, when they walked out of the bedroom, his arm draped across her waist.

Jennsen was sitting at the kitchen table, holding Ashley in her arms. The little babe was listless, but perked up when she caught sight of her mother. Kahlan took Ashley from Jennsen and sat down, sitting Ashley on her lap as she combed her daughter's unruly dark hair. Richard hugged his sister, and then the two siblings set about making breakfast. As if she could smell the eggs and bacon sizzling, Cara came stumbling out of her room, looking disheveled and tired.

She glared at Richard and Kahlan. "You two do realize that our bedroom walls intersect, don't you?"

Kahlan felt herself blush a bright pink. "Sorry if we kept you up," Richard said, smirking, though there was no playful glint in his eyes. Kahlan knew he was still angry with the Mord'Sith, blaming her for what had happened to Kahlan two weeks ago in the blizzard.

"Well, as long as you two enjoyed yourselves, I guess I can live with it," Cara huffed, sitting down across from Kahlan, looking miserable.

"Why don't you invite that young handsome trapper over?" Jennsen suggested, grinning.

"What?" Cara looked up, narrowing her eyes.

"You know, what was his name…?" Jennsen fiddled with the eggs, dishing them out onto platters.

"Connor?" the Mord'Sith questioned, furrowing her brow.

"Yes, Connor," Jennsen said nodding her head. "I think he has a thing for you."

Cara leaned back and knitted her eyebrows together thinking. "He is rather handsome, isn't he?"

Richard frowned at Jennsen, and Kahlan suppressed a laugh, knowing he must disapprove of his young sister trying to play matchmaker. He put some of the eggs and bacon on a plate, and walked over, placing it in front of Kahlan. He gave her a fork and she dove in. Little Ashley made some humorous gurgling noises and tried reaching for the plate. Kahlan stopped her, and rubbed her little head, promising to feed her just as soon as she finished her own breakfast.

Richard sat down beside her and started eating his breakfast. Meanwhile Jennsen and Cara continued their conversation over this Connor fellow. Jennsen appeared more eager in seeing him than Cara, which only seemed to make Richard frown. Kahlan tried lightening the mood by suggesting they go into Hartland today. She had wanted to visit the place again and see if Chase and Emma had move back once the boundary had dissolved away during the tear in the veil. Richard informed her that Chase and Emma had indeed moved back and that he found the idea of rekindling with them to be a splendid idea.

Jennsen perked up and suggested that they all go, even Cara, like they were one big happy family. Richard narrowed his eyes, looking at Cara, but gave a nod. Kahlan suspected that he was only putting up with Cara right now because she was another person who could protect her and Ashley. Kahlan was grateful for what the Mord'Sith had done when the bandits had attacked, and was beginning to warm up to her, thought it appears Richard, who had spent more time with the Cara, was still not yet ready to forgive, something which seemed to come hard to him. It had taken him a long time to forgive Kahlan for taking a mate, yet when they had reconciled all that anger and bitterness seemed to melt away. At least she hoped it had.

After they finished breakfast, Kahlan went back into the bedroom to feed Ashley in privacy. Richard followed and knelt down beside the bed and caressed Ashley's tiny head, before brushing her tangled dark hair aside to kiss her little brow. He then looked up at the mother and held her face in his hand, giving her a long and tender kiss.

"Well," he said, backing away and looking around for his vest jacket. "I guess one good thing came from those bandits attacking."

"Oh and what's that?" Kahlan inquired, confused.

"We have horses now!" he said smirking. "That'll make the trip to Hartland faster."

Kahlan smiled back and looked down at Ashley suckling. "I can't wait to show off Ashley to Emma and the girls."

Richard froze for a moment, and his shoulders slumped, as if he had not thought of that. He looked over his shoulder, his brown eyes looking worried. "How do we explain her?"

"What do you mean?" Kahlan's chest tightened, worried.

"Kahlan… you know what I mean," he groaned. "I don't want to lie to my friends."

Kahlan bit her lower lip, wondering if they were going to have this conversation a lot, even after they had children of their own. She knew he would never forget what she had done, that Ashley was not his, but she thought he loved her like she was his own. Seeing the effect his words had had, Richard stepped back of and knelt before her.

"Sorry, Kahlan," he mumbled, looking ashamed. "I did not mean to accuse you of anything. I… I just don't know how to handle the situation."

"I want her to be yours," Kahlan cried. "Oh, how the spirits know I wish she was yours."

"She is mine!" Richard asserted. "Perhaps not by blood, but by heart." He reached up and wiped the tears from her face. "She is a part of you and I love her. I love her as if she was my own. And I will be her father. I will help raise her."

"But do we keep the truth from her?" Kahlan asked, suddenly thinking of this. "Do we lie to her?"

"No," Richard said shaking his head. "She is a confessor, Kahlan. Eventually, she is going to find out the truth. I'd rather she learn it from us, than anyone else."

"Then, what do we tell her?" Kahlan sniffled, looking down at Ashley as her baby finished suckling and started numbingly going to sleep.

"That her father died saving her mother," Richard said.

Kahlan had difficultly keeping her tears away. She was overwhelmed with the guilt she was feeling at having conceived a child that was not Richard's. She had never thought about that future, when Ashley grew up and began asking questions about her biological father. Kahlan knew that Richard was right, that he would be her father, yet she could not help but feel ashamed that Ashley would always stand apart from her other children. She would be the only child not conceived through love. Kahlan wanted to love her as much as she knew she was going to love her children with Richard, but she was afraid she would not. Ashley would be a constant reminder of her betrayal of the man she loved.

"Kahlan," Richard's voice called her out of her depressing thoughts. "Don't go worrying for a future that has not yet come to pass. We'll be in Aydindril when we have to deal with all this stuff. Zedd will be there. We'll all be together. We'll find a way to make it work. I promise."

She sniffled and gave a nod. "Yes, Richard… but, for now, can't we just pretend that she is really yours?" she asked, looking up at him with big pleading eyes.

Richard clenched his jaw and furrowed his brow. "All right, Kahlan," he said. "For you, until we decide, we'll tell them that Ashley is mine."

"Thank you, Richard," she murmured, shifting her blouse to cover her breasts, now that Ashley was soundly sleeping. "I'm sorry to make you do this… I don't deserve it."

"Shh, think nothing of it," he soothed, rubbing the back of her head. "I love you and would do anything for you. And right now, the lie is easier to pull off than it will be later. Ashley still looks very much like you… When she grows up she might display more and more of Dragen's looks, but for now, she looks like you, and she is beautiful."

Kahlan knew it was meant as a compliment, but she could not help but dwell on his words regarding Ashley potentially displaying more and more of Dragen's features as she grew up. She thought she noted some bitterness in his tone, but he looked agreeable enough. She sighed and relented with a nod. Richard stood and kissed her brow.

"I'll go get the horses ready," he said. "Take the time to pack a few things, we'll probably be staying the night in Hartland."

He kissed her forehead again before leaving. Kahlan stood up from the bed and held Ashley in one arm as she went about the room, picking through their clothing and selecting what to bring. She wanted them all to be one big happy family, but she feared that that was just a dream that would never really come true. Richard would always know that Ashley was not his, and that pained her, knowing that that would then be a reminder of her betrayal. She began to wonder if he would ever really forgive her. Right now, he might just be overwhelmed with finally being able to physically be with her. She was beginning to suspect that once that euphoria left, he would grow resentful and bitter again.

"Kahlan, let's go!" Richard's voice carried through the walls.

She quickly finished packing and went outside, seeing Cara and Jennsen were already up on their horses. Richard took the pack from her and slung it over his shoulder. He brought over a long sash and wrapped it around her, creating a sling to place Ashley in, which hugged her close to Kahlan's chest. He helped her up onto a horse, then mounted his own.

Bringing his horse up along side hers, Richard signaled to Cara and Jennsen, and they started off, heading towards Hartland. Kahlan's heart thumped profoundly in her chest, wondering if she would be able to lie like she wanted, or if once confronted with old friends, she would blurt out the awful truth of her betrayal.


	26. Hartland

**Chapter 26 – Hartland**

"She's beautiful, Kahlan," Emma said, smiling down at the little bundle in Kahlan's arms.

Richard stood beside Kahlan, his arm draped around her waist, beaming proudly, going along with what Kahlan wanted. While they were traveling along Trunt Lake, following the lake's shore to reach Hartland, Richard had taken the time to speak privately with both Jennsen and Cara. He told them that for the time being, he and Kahlan had decided to let people assume that Ashley was his. Jennsen understood more than Cara, but the Mord'Sith would do as she was told. She would serve the Lord Rahl in all things. Though Richard himself still felt uncomfortable lying, he did it because it made Kahlan feel more at ease around the others.

Chase came over and gave Richard a big slap on the back. "I knew you would figure out a way, Richard," Chase grinned. "If there was anyone that could find a way, it would be you!"

No one else would have understood, but Chase did. Out of everyone in Hartland, the Brandstones were the only ones who knew what Kahlan was, except maybe Anna, but Richard did not want to think about her. That relationship was long over and he was with Kahlan now. Even if her first born was not his, he still wanted to be with Kahlan. He would always want to be with Kahlan. She was the only woman he had ever truly loved. He would do anything for her. Anything.

There was a time, long ago, that he had thought the same about another woman. But he had been mistaken about that. Nadine never really wanted to be with him like he had thought she had. It was all about sex with her. And when he tried expanding the relationship to more than just that, Nadine withdrew and started avoiding him. The last straw had been when he found her sleeping with another man. He immediately broke off the relationship, never wanting to see her again. Then, four months later, he met her… the love of his life, the woman he would love unconditionally and sacrifice anything for: Kahlan Amnell, a confessor from the Midlands coming in search of the one true Seeker of Truth. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined such a woman searching for him, and, needless to say, falling in love with him.

However, Kahlan had broken his heart as well, but she had not really cheated on him, not like Nadine had. Richard and Kahlan had never really been a couple, like he and Nadine had been. And what Kahlan had done was for duty, not for lust or self-serving pleasure. Not to mention, at the time, neither knew that they could really truly be together. It hurt that another had been her first, but Richard believed her when she told him that she had found no pleasure with her mate. And now, here he was, with the woman he loved; yet the child in her arms was not his.

The little confessor seemed to enjoy herself greatly. She giggled slightly, and smiled up at all the new people she was meeting. Richard did have to agree with Emma's earlier assertion; Ashley was, indeed, a beautiful baby. She looked so much like her mother, and he hoped that that would never change. And when they started having children of their own, Richard wanted them all to look like their mother.

However, like all things, Ashley eventually grew restless, and started crying. "Looks like someone's hungry," Emma said smiling.

Kahlan and Emma excused themselves, going to one of the bedrooms, where Kahlan fed Ashley and talked with Emma about motherhood, among other things, no doubt. Richard sat on the porch with Chase, drinking some mead and listening to his friend's so-called "horror" stories of his children when they were little.

"You never know when one of them is going to sneak up behind you and start assaulting you with all sorts of nasty little things," he laughed boisterously and slapped Richard on the back, almost making him cough up his mouthful of mead.

Richard shook his head, wondering how he was going to handle all the little daughters that he and Kahlan would no doubt have. With Kahlan being the last confessor, he was well aware that there was going to be pressure on them to produce as many offspring as possible. He smiled lazily, thinking about all the "fun" Kahlan and him were going to have making those children.

Chase chortled loudly. "Already thinking of having more, are we?" he shook his head. "Or do you just enjoy making them!"

"A little of both, I guess," Richard blushed. Then he grimaced, feeling a dull pain in his forehead. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You all right?" Chase inquired, looking worried.

"Just a headache," Richard replied, taking a slow deep breath. "I've had it for about two weeks. It comes and goes. It's most likely a result of that beating I took when the bandits assaulted the cabin."

Chase gave a nod, but looked dubious. "Are you sure it can't be something else?" he asked, as if he knew more than he was saying.

Richard squinted at his friend, wondering what he was implying. "Speak plainly, Chase," he said, frowning.

"I know it's not my place to say," Chase began slowly. "But I cannot help but notice that Ashley looks nothing like you." He paused, looking concerned. "It is almost as if you are not her father."

He tried to hide his stunned expression at how perceptive the warden was, but his friend saw right through him.

"Then I'm right?" he inquired, though he did not look pleased to be so.

Richard gave a slight nod and took a sip of the mead, swallowing it slowly. "While I was hunting down the Stone of Tears, the Midlands Council forced Kahlan into taking a mate to continue the line of confessors. Ashley is the result of that."

"Then you have not found a way to be with her?" Chase questioned, leaning forward.

"I have," Richard asserted. "But it was too late. It came to me the day before Kahlan gave birth." He slumped his head and closed his eyes. "Spirits, Chase, I don't know how to explain it all. When I arrived back in Aydindril to find her five months along, I… I wouldn't even listen to her. I did not want to hear an explanation. All I saw was that she had slept with another. I felt betrayed."

"Understandable," Chase gave a nod. "What changed?"

"During those four months afterwards, I realized how much I loved her," Richard went on. "It was hard, Chase, living without her, thinking that I had forever lost my one shot at true love and happiness. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized that I would always love her, no matter what."

"And now you two are together," Chase finished. "Officially a couple?"

Richard gave a lethargic nod. "Yes," he said. "I… I even asked her to marry me… well, to be honest, I never really asked, she said yes before I could even get the question out."

"That's a good sign, isn't it?" Chase asked, leaning forward. "She was so excited about you even wanting to marry her that she could not contain herself long enough to allow you to finish asking the question."

"I guess so," Richard said, and leaned back, slumping his shoulders. He took a long lazy sip from his cup, topping it off. "There is still a part of me, deep down, that will never be able to forgive her for taking a mate and conceiving a child that is not mine. I care for Ashley, yes, but can I ever truly love a child that is not mine? I've told Kahlan that I can, but was I lying to her… and to myself, as well?"

Chase bit his lower lip and looked out at the sky as the sun began to set and the stars started to work their way into view. "I don't know if I can answer that question for you, Richard," he said. "I cannot speak to what I would do, but I know one thing… the child is an innocent."

"I agree," Richard said. "I do not blame Ashley… I just hope she never learns the pain her conception caused me." He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply of the Hartland air. "It was Kahlan's idea that we allow people to believe that Ashley is my daughter. I… I don't think she could handle the public shame of it. I'd appreciate it if you don't mention this conversation to anyone."

"My lips are sealed, my friend," Chase said, giving an understanding nod.

XXX

They went inside to have supper, which Jennsen and Laura, Chase and Emma's eldest, had prepared. Richard sat next to Kahlan, and held Ashley in his lap, allowing the little babe to look out over the table at everyone as they ate. Kahlan and Emma continued their small talk, and Kahlan would occasionally lean softly against Richard shoulder, obviously wanting to feel his presence.

Jennsen and Laura, the two cooks, sat close, gossiping away about that Connor fellow, much to both Chase and Richard's chagrin. All the other Brandstone children were keen on seeing Ashley, which the little confessor seemed pleased to oblige, giggling and smiling at all of them as the man who should have been her father softly combed the mass of dark hair on her little head. Cara sat at the end of the table, beside Jennsen, looking sulky and glum, remaining out of the conversation, even when some of the smaller Brandstone children tried to question her about the red rods around her waist.

Richard was pleased that Kahlan was at ease and looked relaxed; he had been worried that she would breakdown, unable to keep up the deception that he was Ashley's father. He wondered if Kahlan and Emma had had a similar conversation that he and Chase had had. He thought they might have, judging from the looks that past between the two women.

Jennsen and Laura were congratulated by all for making such a sumptuous meal. Jennsen visibly blushed, not used to the exaltation, which made everyone laugh. While the dishes were being cleared away, little Ashley squealed happily and tried to grab one of the spoons, attempting to swing it around wildly. Richard stopped her before she could create a mess, and she looked up at him, pouting. He shook his head and tickled her chin, distracting her as her mother took the spoon away. She giggled and clutched at his finger with her tiny fingers, pulling it to her mouth to suck on it.

Overall, the visit had been a pleasant and relaxing one, and after supper, the three of them, Richard, Kahlan, and Ashley, went up to one of the guestrooms for bed. Chase had brought out the crib that had been used for his youngest, and Kahlan softly rocked Ashley to sleep as Richard prepared for bed. He removed his vest jacket and shirt, folding them up and placing them on the dresser. Looking over his shoulder, he watched as Kahlan stripped down to a simple shift, her eyes glued on him as he unbuckled his belt and removed his trousers, stripping himself down to just his underthings. She turned back to tuck the blankets tighter around Ashley as he slipped under the blankets, secretly removing his underthings as he began to make plans. Crawling in beside him, Kahlan draped her arm over his chest and rested her head on his shoulder, unaware of his hidden plans for nocturnal activities.

"Thank you, Richard," she murmured softly, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

"For what?" he furrowed his brow, though he knew the answer.

"For giving me a day in which I got to pretend that nothing bad had happened, and that we were all just one big happy family," she replied, dreamingly.

Richard sighed, wrapping his arm around her waist, pulling her tight. "I'll do anything for you, Kahlan," he whispered heatedly into her ear before he captured her lips in a passionate kiss.

Seeking to reassure himself and relieve some of the stress caused by his headaches, Richard leaned over her, and gently pushed her legs apart with his knee. Kahlan happily complied, pulling her shift up, and opened herself for him as they continued to kiss, their tongues igniting deep desires between them. Tugging her underthings down, Richard worked her femininity until she was ready, and then slowly, holding her tightly in his arms, he made fierce yet passionate love to her, Kahlan Amnell, the woman he loved more than life itself.


	27. Into The Night

**Chapter 27 – Into The Night**

Kahlan's eyes fluttered open. It was still dark outside, yet the blue hued moonlight was drifting through the window, highlighting the sweaty dew that still creased the strong and gorgeous form of the man she loved. Judging by the heat that still radiated from each of their bodies, Kahlan estimated that she had only been asleep for twenty minutes or less. She did not know how she had even managed to go to sleep after the fierceness of Richard's lovemaking. There was this wonderful ache between her legs from where their bodies had joined. She wanted to feel that wonderful soreness for the rest of her life.

However, at this moment, another sensation was overwhelming her, compelling her to slip out from beneath the warm cocoon of the blankets and rush for the waste bucket by the bed. She arched her neck and gripped the sides of the bucket, retching out the majority of her evening meal. Kahlan's chest heaved and she sucked in her stomach, feeling the nausea rise up in her again. She held back her hair as she leaned over the bucket, continuing to cough and purge.

Finally finishing, at least she hoped so, Kahlan tentatively glanced over her shoulder to look back at Richard. She smiled, seeing that he was still asleep and that her retching had not woke him. Easing back up onto her feet, Kahlan tiptoed over to the crib, checking on her baby. Ashley was softly cooing, sleeping soundly. Kahlan adjusted the swaddling clothing, tucking the little one tighter against the cold of the evening. Turning back to the bed, Kahlan paused, thinking.

First it was the absence of her moon blood, and now this. Her brow furrowed as she worried over what might be happening to her. From what Richard had told her, it was too early for her to become with child again. Kahlan was terrified that something had happened to her while she was dying in that blizzard and before Richard had revived her with the Breath of Life. All she could think about was that she had become barren now. And that was not something she thought she could handle. If she could not have a child with Richard… spirits, she did not know what she would do if that were the case. Kahlan wanted so much to give Richard a child. She would go mad if she could never bear his child.

Quietly, Kahlan began getting dressed. When she had finished, she opened her pack and pulled out a green cloak. Draping it over her shoulders, she looked back over at Richard with a mournful expression, hoping beyond hope that there was nothing wrong with her, and that someday she could bear him many strong daughters. Taking silent steps across the floorboards, Kahlan made her way to Richard's bedside. She leaned down and brushed his hair from his brow, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.

Leaning back, she gazed at him longingly, loving the way the moonlight made his skin glisten and glow. Spirits, how she loved this man! He had taken her back, accepted Ashley as if she were his own, made love to her—the way it was supposed to be, not like how it had been with Dragen—and Richard had even asked her to be his wife. Kahlan wanted nothing more than to be Richard's wife. She had dreamed of being his wife for what seemed like centuries, ever since that one night long ago, during their quest to stop Darken Rahl, when she had let down her guard and kissed him.

Biting her lower lip, she turned and snuck out of the room. She had betrayed him back then as well, abandoning him, which resulted in him being captured by Denna. It was not until after Richard had been freed from the Mord'Sith that Kahlan had got up enough courage to tell him the truth, only to then tell him that they could never act on their feelings. He was bitter over the fact that he had to learn the truth about her powers from Denna and not from her. She apologized profusely, and questioned whether he could control his feelings, knowing that she herself was already having difficulty with that. Kahlan would always remember his response.

"_If there is anything I've learned from Denna, it is how to suffer in silence."_

Kahlan had silently cried herself to sleep that night, knowing that his unrequited love for her caused him pain. She wanted so much at that moment to not be a confessor and to just be a simple woman, allowing herself to just be with him. When she had finally fallen asleep, she dreamt of being a normal woman, and his wife. They lived in a cabin, somewhere in Westland, so much like the cabin Richard had built next to Trunt Lake. And they had many children, girls and boys alike.

With her mind distracted, thinking about the past, Kahlan made her way down the hall, slowly stepping down the stairs. She moved as quietly as possible, clutching the cloak tightly around her. Placing her weight on the final step, Kahlan winced when the wood creaked.

"Who's there?" came a deep voice.

Kahlan froze, her eyes widening in fear. She heard a noise, and soon a lantern appeared out of the shadows, followed by a face. Kahlan caught her breath. "Chase!" she sighed in relief.

"Kahlan, what are you doing up?" he inquired, knitting his eyebrows together.

"I... I," she averted her eyes, not knowing if she could even tell him.

"It's all right, Kahlan, you can trust me," he said, gesturing for her to come all the way down into the kitchen.

Taking a deep breath, she eased off the final step and followed Chase into the other room. "Chase," she spoke hesitantly, not sure if she should tell him or not. Closing her eyes and taking another breath, Kahlan decided to tell him. "Ashley is not Richard's child."

"I know," Chase gave a nod.

"Did Richard tell you!" Kahlan huffed, narrowing her eyes, feeling like she had been found out and needed to defend herself.

"No," the forest warden gave a shake of his head. "I figured it out myself. Richard did not betray your secret."

Kahlan sniffled and wrapped her arms around herself. "I feel so dirty and foul," she mumbled. "I betrayed him, Chase. I betrayed the only man I have ever loved."

Chase gave a nod and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Once Richard realized that I was not fooled, he spoke with me about it," he said. "Believe me when I say that his love for you has not diminished. He wants to be with you, Kahlan. He wants to be your husband."

Kahlan smiled softly. "And I want to be his wife… oh, how I wish for that," she bit her lower lip and closed her eyes, feeling tears trickle down her cheeks. "Oh, Chase… I'm afraid."

"Of what?" he asked, concerned.

"That something is wrong with me," she said. "That… that something has happened to me that will prevent me from conceiving again. I… I need to know."

"Were you going to sneak out and visit a midwife?" Chase asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kahlan nodded, brushing the tears from her face. "Yes," she squeaked out.

He gave a nod, turning away from her and returning with a cloak. "Then I shall go with you," he declared. "It's not safe for a beautiful woman like yourself to wander the streets alone this time of night."

Seeing that he was not going to take no for an answer, Kahlan gave a nod, relenting. Tucking himself around his cloak, Chase opened the door and they snuck out into the night.


	28. Darla

**Chapter 28 – Darla**

Chase knocked on the door for a third time. He looked back at her with a downcast expression. "She may have already gone to bed," he said, turning away from the door, shaking his head. "Perhaps we should go back."

"No, please, just a couple more minutes," Kahlan pleaded. "I really need to talk with her, Chase… please?"

He sighed, giving a nod, and turned back to the door. He raised his fist to knock once more, when the wooden door suddenly opened.

"Yeah… yeah, I'm awake, who is it?" a small grey haired woman grumbled. She blinked, squinting up in the dim light. "Dell Brandstone, is that you?"

"I go by Chase, Darla, remember?" Chase inquired, frowning.

"I was there when you came screaming out of your mother," huffed the old woman. "She had a mind to name you Dell, so Dell is what I shall call you."

"Always a pleasure," he groaned. "Now, Darla, I've…"

"Emma miss her moon blood again?" the midwife squinted in the darkness towards Kahlan's shadow. "What is this, the eighth time?"

"No…," Kahlan said stepping forward, and lowering the hood of her cloak to reveal her face to the old woman. "Chase was kind enough to escort me at this late hour."

Darla looked up at Kahlan. "Oh, what a pretty young thing you are," she smiled. "Well, don't stand out there in the cold, come on in."

Kahlan took a step towards the doorway.

"And you…," Darla shot Chase a glare, "… can wait out here." She shook her head disapprovingly. "Bringing a poor young woman out here in the middle of the night… for shame." Darla placed a hand on Kahlan's arm and guided her inside, closing the door behind her.

"Please, don't be too hard on Chase," Kahlan spoke softly, fiddling with her hands. "He came here because of me."

"Well, I'm Darla, the local midwife, dearie," she smiled "And you are?"

"Kahlan," she tentatively answered, wondering why she had even pondered using a fake name. No one here knew her, so why not use her own name.

"Well, Kahlan, what brings you to me at this late hour?" Darla inquired, her green keen eyes scanning Kahlan, registering her nervousness. "Have you missed your moon blood?"

Kahlan raised her eyebrows in surprise.

Darla laughed softly. "I am a midwife, dearie," she smiled. "Why else would you come to me? And judging by the time, I'm guessing you wish to be discreet about it."

Kahlan gulped, fumbling to find words, but was unable to formulate a single sentence to best describe why she had come, afraid that her fears of being barren were justified.

"Come here, dearie, and sit down," Darla gestured to a chair by the hearth.

Nodding, Kahlan took a seat, folding her hands in her lap. She took a deep breath, feeling butterflies in her stomach. Spirits, she did not know why she was so anxious. She had never felt butterflies in her stomach like this before, except right before Richard made love to her for the first time. She had been so worried that she would not please him. And tonight her worries were still on Richard… and whether or not she could even bear his children.

"How about some tea to soothe your nerves," Darla said, waddling over to the hearth and pulling a kettle out from over the fire.

"Thank you, yes, that would be lovely," Kahlan said, lowering her eyes.

Darla poured out two cups of tea and waddled back over, handing Kahlan a cup. Cradling the warm clay mug in her hands, Kahlan brought it up to her nose and breathed in deeply, inhaling the aroma. She closed her eyes, letting the richness of the blend settle before taking a tentative sip.

"So, Kahlan, what brings you to me?" Darla questioned, easing down into the chair opposite her.

Kahlan gave a nod and lowered the clay mug. "You were correct," she said, slowly. "I've missed my bleeding. You see, I've recently given birth to my first child, and… and I'm worried that something has gone wrong."

"How long ago is _recent_?" Darla inquired, her keen eyes scrutinizing Kahlan.

"Almost two months," Kahlan replied, feeling her chest tighten as the worry and anxiety began to consume her.

"And you have yet to bleed again?" Darla said, frowning. She stood up and waddled over to a shelf the held potions and other concoctions. "Tell me, Kahlan, have you lain with a man since giving birth?"

Kahlan swallowed past the lump in her throat and nodded. "Yes." Her cheeks flushed, having to discuss such things. Her mind automatically called up images of Richard moving over her, kissing her supple flesh and murmuring his love for her.

The midwife looked back at her and gave a soft smile. "Thinking of your man?"

Blushing, Kahlan nodded. "Yes… Richard is everything I could have hoped for… and more," she replied, dreamingly, lost in her thoughts of being with Richard and of the rapture it brought.

"Richard…," echoed Darla, narrowing her eyes. "Would this happen to be Richard Cypher?"

Kahlan blinked, realizing that she had spoken her thoughts out loud. "Yes…," she muttered. "You know him?"

"George's boy, strong young lad, handsome… and very eager to help when I needed assistance," Darla said, her eyes glanced down, looking sad. "He was almost like the son I never had. I loved that boy." She looked back up. "I have not seen him in two years. I feared something had happened to him." A faint smile formed on her wrinkled face. "And now I see why he has been absent… he met a beautiful woman and fallen in love."

"You are too kind," Kahlan said, tucking a strand of dark hair back behind an ear, giving a weak smile. She did not feel like being complimented, especially if she had become barren due to her time with Dragen. Trying to control her trembling lips, she continued. "I… I guess I have you to thank, then," she said. "If it were not for the knowledge he gained while helping you with deliveries, I would never have survived the birth of my daughter."

"_My daughter_," Darla repeated, knitting her eyebrows together. "Then Richard is not the father?"

Sniffling, Kahlan gave a reluctant nod. "Not by choice. I wish he were."

Darla stepped back over and placed a comforting hand on Kahlan's upper arm. "We're you raped, my dear?"

Kahlan lowered her head, ashamed. "No…," she squeaked out, not knowing how to explain it to someone who had no idea what a confessor was. It was even harder, now knowing that this woman knew and loved Richard like he was a son. She gulped, and looked up with big eyes, watering with tears, as the guilt seemed to seep in around her.

The midwife narrowed her eyes and backed away. "Look, Kahlan, I do not mean to pry, but to understand everything that is going on with you, I need to know… and ask some tough questions," she placed her hand on Kahlan's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "How many men have you been with?"

"Only two," Kahlan sniffled, trying to hold back the wail that wanted to come from having slept with another and betrayed her Richard.

"I take it that Richard was not the first."

Kahlan gave a nod as a single tear drifted down her cheek. It was burning hot, streaking down her face like a comet across the sky. "I wish he was…," she sobbed. "But he was not. The father of my child was the first man I was ever with."

"How long did it take you to conceive?" Darla questioned, her voice sounding emotionless.

Shuddering, Kahlan bit her trembling lower lip and sobbed softly, remembering all that she had done that was a betrayal of her love for Richard. "Two weeks," she choked out.

"I'm sorry," Darla said, giving her an apologetic look. "There is obviously a lot of grief over this indiscretion."

"It was not an indiscretion!" Kahlan blurted out, feeling the need to defend herself to this woman.

She would never cheat on Richard. She loved him with all her heart. The rest of the world was dark compared to him. Richard was the light, the lone shining beacon in the dark that could protect her from all the evils of the world. Kahlan just wished she had been strong enough to resist the council's demands for her to take a mate and continue the line of confessors. If she had waited out longer, Richard would have returned to her and together they would have found the way to be together. Now knowing that it was indeed possible, she knew that if she had waited for him, then they would have discovered it.

"I had no choice!" Kahlan looked away and buried her head in her hands, crying. "You wouldn't understand."

"I might… try me," Darla said, sitting back down in her chair.

Kahlan sobbed for some time before getting the courage to look back up at the midwife. "I guess you could say it was… was an arranged marriage," Kahlan said, thinking that that was the best way to describe taking a mate to someone who did not know about the Midlands and Confessors.

"One forced upon you?" Darla nodded. "It is not uncommon. There is no reason to feel any shame." She paused and narrowed her eyes. "So what is the problem now?"

"I… I fear that I am now barren," Kahlan admitted, letting the tears fall freely. "That I cannot conceive a child with Richard… the man I love, the man who I always wanted to be my first and the father of my children."

Darla gave a nod. "I'm sorry, but I must ask this… when you were first with this other man, did it hurt?"

Kahlan gave a nod. "All the time," she said, shuddering. "He… he was so big… down there." Kahlan averted her eyes, embarrassed about having to discuss this and ashamed at what she had done. She never wanted Richard to know the size difference between him and Dragen, knowing how men thought about such things. Richard was ideal for her. When they were one, Kahlan was never in any pain. He only brought her pleasure and joy. She felt that Richard and her were a perfect match. It was almost as if the Creator, herself, had sculpted Richard for her, and her for Richard.

"It hurt every time he laid with me," Kahlan said, biting her lower lip, trying to blank the images of having to be with Dragen from her mind. Most of that time was just a searing flash of agony and pain. If Dragen had ever had a woman before he was confessed, Kahlan believed that he had never pleased her, even with being the size he was. "I never found any pleasure in his movements inside me. None whatsoever. The older…," she paused, catching herself, almost referring to the other confessors. "The older women," she continued, correcting herself. "Told me that it would hurt at first, but then I would soon find pleasure in having a man inside me. But with him… I only found pain. I never reached release, like they told me I would. And I thanked the spirits that he would always release his seed quickly and removed himself."

Darla laughed softly. "Neither is uncommon, dearie," she smirked. "A woman can spend a lifetime having sex with many men and never finding release. And for the most part, men seemed to lack the stamina and threshold to fully please the superior gender." She laughed, finding her comments humorous.

Kahlan tried to laugh as well, but it was obviously forced. Having never really slept with any other men beside Dragen and Richard, Kahlan did not have enough knowledge to fully understand what Darla was talking about.

The midwife shook her head, and brushed away a loose strand of silvery hair that had come loose while she had been laughing. She squinted, looking curious. "Well, speaking of our male counterparts," Darla winked. "How do you feel when you are with Richard?"

Kahlan blushed.

"I promise not to tell," Darla asserted, grinning.

A wondrous warm feeling seemed to coat her as she thought of being with Richard. Kahlan smiled, and seemed to glow. "It is rapture, all the time…," Kahlan murmured dreamingly. "With Richard it is always bliss… I am left numb with the release he gives me."

"Well, good to know the lad knows how to please his woman," Darla chortled. "Now, on to this matter of you thinking you are barren… what leads you to suspect this?"

"I have not had my moon blood since giving birth," Kahlan replied. "And I… I have been retching more often than should be normal."

Darla narrowed her keen eyes and stood, giving a faint knowing smile. "I may know what is the problem," she waddled over to her working area and returned with a pewter beaker. "I need you to make water in this beaker." She gestured towards a door across from them. "You may use the washroom for privacy."

Kahlan furrowed her brow, setting the empty teacup down and accepting the pewter beaker from the old midwife. She stood up, nervously, not knowing why she was being asked to do this. Biting her lower lip, Kahlan made her way over to the washroom. After drinking the tea, she did need to relieve herself. Kahlan wondered if that is why Darla had given her the tea in the first place, and not to calm her nerves as the woman had first asserted. Once alone in the washroom, Kahlan released the floodgates she had been holding back and cried deeply. It had been hard answering all those questions about her time with Dragen. It still brought her pain and anguish to know she had betrayed Richard. She sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve, before hiking up her skirt and squatting down to make water.


	29. A Pleasant Surprise

**Chapter 29 – A Pleasant Surprise**

Having filled the pewter beaker, Kahlan let her skirts fall back down around her. She placed the beaker down on the counter by the washbowl and splashed some cold water in her face, trying to clean away the evidence of her silent crying. She wanted so much to just forget her time with Dragen, wishing that it had never happened, but she could not. Richard should have been the one to break her barrier, causing the blood of her innocence to spill on the white sheets of her big bed. Spirits, she hated herself, allowing such a thing to occur. It should have been Richard's seed that had mingled with her virgin's blood on that night, instead of Dragen's. But the purity of that bed had been forever tainted. She did not know if she could even bring herself to sleep in that bed ever again. She might just have to have it burned when she returned to Aydindril.

A knock on the door startled her. "Are you all right, dearie?" came the voice of the old woman, sounding calm and reassured, almost as if the midwife knew what Kahlan was thinking about.

"Yes," Kahlan squeaked out, sniffling and rubbing her eyes. "I… I'm almost done."

"Take you're time," Darla said.

Kahlan splashed the cold water from the washbowl on her again, then grabbed a towel and dried off her skin. Taking a deep breath, she picked the beaker and exited the washroom. Returning to the other room, Kahlan handed the pewter beaker to the old woman, who gave her a soft smile, and directed her back to the chair by the hearth. Kahlan sat down, hugging herself, and wiping the remaining tears from her eyes. Her heart ached from all the torment she had caused Richard. And she felt she deserved the torture of having to confess her crimes to someone who had known Richard before she had. It only seemed right, after the depths of her betrayal—a betrayal Kahlan would never forgive herself for.

She absently watched as the midwife took the pewter beaker over to her work area, pouring some of Kahlan's water into another vial, before mixing it with a clear fluidic compound. Darla put a stopper on the vial and shook it. Kahlan narrowed her eyes, confused, wondering what the midwife was doing.

To her amazement, the water changed color. Darla grinned, her eyes glistening in the firelight from the hearth. She came back over and handed the vial to Kahlan, who held it up, perplexed to no end. "I… I don't understand?"

"It is an old midwives' trick," Darla said. "When your water changes color, you are with child."

"I am… what?" Kahlan's eyebrows rose, as did her voice.

"You are with child, Kahlan," Darla said smiling. "Congratulations."

"But how? So soon! Richard said that it was—"

"I take it Richard is the father, then?" Darla interrupted.

"Yes," Kahlan beamed. "Richard is the only man I've been with since giving birth." Her heart pounded in her chest. Not in shame or regret like before, but in joy. She was going to have another child, one born from love, not duty. Kahlan let out a sigh of relief as feelings of happiness and delight spread throughout her body at receiving this news. "Thank you, Darla. I had feared that I had become barren and would never conceive a child with Richard… yet still, I must say that I am surprised. Richard told me that I was not yet capable of conceiving again."

Darla quirked an eyebrow up. "Richard really wasn't that good with that sort of thing, dearie," she said, taking the vial back. "I'm amazed he was actually able to help you give birth." She leaned forward conspiratorially. "I'll let you in on a secret. The first time he assisted me, he fainted."

Kahlan laughed slightly, placing a hand over her mouth. "No… he didn't," she giggled, finding it hard to believe Richard could faint.

"Oh, but he did," Darla winked and took the vial back to her work area, before returning. "Richard may know a lot of things, Kahlan, but about the miracle of life… he knows very little. No… I take that back. He knows enough to plant his seed in you!" She chortled loudly.

Darla waddled back over and placed a hand on Kahlan's middle, closing her eyes. "If I would guess, I'd say you've been with child for two weeks."

"Two weeks!" Kahlan gasped. "That would mean that… it was the first time I was ever with him."

"That surprises you?" Darla questioned. "I've seen it happen before."

"Well, its just that it did take me two weeks to conceive my daughter," Kahlan said.

Darla shrugged. "Perhaps its because you never found release with this other man…," she narrowed her eyes. "Are you still married to him?"

"No…," Kahlan shook her head, clenching her jaw tight. "He… he died."

"Oh," Darla nodded. "Then that will explain why Richard would have no qualms about sleeping with you. The boy has a very moral core."

"I know," Kahlan said, smiling.

"He'll want to marry you now," Darla gave a wink.

"He has already asked," Kahlan replied. "I had not expected him to, but he did. I never thought he would take me back after I've been with another. For the longest time I thought he would see me as soiled and ruined. But then, the morning after we first made love… he started to ask me…" a small smile spread across her lips as she remembered that day. "But, I was too excited about being asked, and I gave him my answer before he could even get the question out."

"If I know him as well as I think," Darla said. "Then he must really love you."

"I love him, too… deeply, with all my heart," Kahlan said, placing a hand over her middle. "Are you sure I'm with child?"

"Yes, Kahlan," the old midwife smiled, placing a hand on Kahlan's lower arm. "You have all the signs: Missing your moon blood, the morning sickness, not to mention my detecting concoction." She winked. "There is no doubt in my mind, dearie, you are with child."

Kahlan took a deep breath and sighed with relief. Her fears had been unjustified. She felt giddy, wanting to squeal in joy. "Oh, I need to tell him!" Kahlan stood, nearly jumping up off the chair. "He'll be so happy!"

"Yes… yes, get yourself back to him, at once," Darla encouraged, laughing. "I'm sure he'd want to reward you, if you know what I mean?"

Kahlan knitted her eyebrows together, and then laughed, finally getting it. "I hope so, yes!" She went to the door and brought her hood up over her head. Before reaching for the latch, she turned around and gave Darla a big hug. "Thank you, Darla… you've given me so much joy."

Darla let out a sigh and returned Kahlan's embrace. "I am happy to do so," she said. "Just promise me one thing."

"What?"

"Never let Richard go," she said. "He is quiet a catch."

"I know," Kahlan nodded. "I never plan on letting him out of my sight."

"Good girl, now get going! I'm sure Richard's wondering why the bed has gotten cold."

Kahlan gave a nod, feeling uplifted by the whole visit. Ducking outside into the cold, she quickly hid her smile from Chase, putting on her confessor's mask. She did not want anyone else to know before Richard. Chase gave a nod and they walked back to his home in silence. Once back inside, Kahlan thanked him for coming with her, before tiptoeing back up the stairs and into the guestroom.

To her surprise, Richard was still asleep. One of his arms was draped over the empty place on the mattress where she had been. Kahlan quietly stepped over to check on Ashley, and bent down to kiss her daughter's little head. Slowly taking off the cloak and her dress, Kahlan slipped out of her shift and kicked off her underthings… planning on celebrating. Sneaking up to the bed, she lifted his arm and draped it over her like a blanket as she curled up beside him.

Pressing her body to him, she slowly began to kiss her way down his throat and across his toned chest. He groaned and stirred at her warm kisses. Kahlan ran her fingers along his muscles and down his abdomen, slipping her hand under the blankets to encourage him to wake. His lips parted and she rammed her mouth against them, closing her eyes as she stroked him. Richard moaned into her mouth and his eyes fluttered open.

"Kahlan…," he murmured, a smile touching his lips, feeling her fingers playing with his member. "You're in a playful mood."

"Oh… make love to me, Richard…," Kahlan cooed into his ear, sucking on his earlobe.

Richard moaned as she crawled up on top of him. He raised his hands up and pushed her hair away from her face as she moved over him, rubbing his middle with the soft quivering flesh that laid between her legs.

"Kahlan… what has gotten into you?" he smirked, though did nothing to stop her.

She wanted to tell him the news, but at the moment, her thoughts were on other matters. Smiling coyly at him, she brought his hands away from her face and to her breasts, deciding she would tell him in the morning. Richard obliged her and began caressing her flesh. She leaned down and kissed him, feeling him respond to her movements. Kahlan was already ready for him, but she had to make him ready. She kissed him deeply, opening to him to allow their tongues to mix, just as their bodies would soon become one. She explored the warmth of his mouth, groaning as she felt him press up against her thigh.

"Oh, Richard," she purred into his mouth. "I love you."

Her heart was beating beneath her breast, as her core called out to become one with the man she loved… with the man who's seed had quicken within her so fast and was creating life anew. Flushing with her heated arousal, Kahlan began sucking on his neck, licking and teasing his skin with her tongue as he had done to her earlier in the evening. Richard moaned, his hands running down her back to grab her bottom, squeezing the flesh there, as she rose her hips over him, reaching down to grip him in her hand, holding him prone for entry. Slowly, she slid down over him, feeling the rapture that came with becoming one with Richard.

"Oh, Kahlan," Richard moaned, his hands kneading into her flesh as he gripped her hips, guiding her movements as she moved over him.

Kahlan dug her hands into his chest, closing her eyes in rapture as they became one. She moaned and softly cried out in ecstasy, slightly blushing at how loud she really wanted to scream. Richard chuckled and wrapped his arms around her, flipping her over onto her back. He moved over her, caressing her thighs as she opened more for him. Kahlan raked her fingers through his tangled brown hair as he kissed her breasts and neck, slowly working his way back up to her lips. He gripped her face in his hands and gazed down at her with his warm brown eyes.

"What has excited you so much, my beautiful Kahlan," his breath was warm and sensual upon her face.

She squirmed around under him, instructing him not to stop his lovemaking. "I'll tell you later…," she murmured, looping her arms around his neck. "Just don't stop." Richard grinned and captured her lips with his, and they continued to make glorious love long into the waning night.


	30. Collared

**Chapter 30 – Collared**

It was faint at first, but oh so sweet, yet he still felt it. The softness of those lips were seared into his memory. He could never forget them. Never. Even if he tried, he could not. He would always remember those lips, always. More so because he was madly in love with the person those lips belonged to than anything else. He would do anything for her, sacrificing anything to feel her love and to love her back. He smiled, feeling her lips gently brush against his chest as he flirted his eyes open to gaze down at the most beautiful sight he had ever laid eyes on.

The sunlight filtered through the window, creating a glowing aurora around her radiant face, as she looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest, and beamed a glorious smile of pure love and joy. He gazed deeply into the depths of her brilliant blue eyes, knowing that he could very well lose himself just staring into those wonderful orbs for the rest of his life. And he would gladly do so. Her soft and delightfully moist body curled up next to him, their limbs intertwined to the extent that he did not know where one began and the one ended. It was a sensation he wished he could always wake up to.

However, there was more going on other than the soft and sensual kissing coming from his love. Something else had always brought him out of his slumber, nagging at the back of his mind, demanding attention. He narrowed his eyes, tilting his head towards the window and listened. Yes. He could hear it, the clamor coming from outside, the snorting and whinny of horses, their hooves stomping restlessly on the ground outside.

Kahlan let out a soft groan and pouted as Richard sat up, rubbing his forehead, as the sudden shift in position caused his head to throb with agony. He eased up from the bed, clenching his jaw against the pain, silently cursing these damn headaches. He felt a slight pinch on his behind and turned to see a giggling woman sitting up on her knees to hug him to her. He sighed and relaxed into her embrace, loving the feel of her body against his, the smell that was his Kahlan. He buried his head in her hair, savoring that scent, always wanting it to be the first thing he smelled when he woke up.

A little mewl came from across the room, and Kahlan leaned back, letting out a feigned breath of annoyance. She sat up on her knees and gave him on last quick kiss, leaning into him, rubbing her lovely breasts up against his chest, before slinking back seductively and slipping off the bed. She walked with a grace that always seemed to come naturally to her as she made her way over to the crib. Richard's eyes were glued on her naked form, drinking in the sight of her cute little bottom as she bent down to pick up the little whimpering babe.

"Someone's hungry," Kahlan smirked, and looked over at him, raising an eyebrow. "I hope we didn't wake her last night."

Richard gave a nod and racked his fingers through his hair, feeling the ache in his head return. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on getting dressed. As he pulled on his trousers, he looked over his shoulder, watching as Kahlan held Ashley up to her breast and fed the little confessor. He smiled warmly. Kahlan was so beautiful. He squinted, thinking something was different. The shroud of sadness that had hung over his beloved no longer seemed there. She seemed to be literally glowing, and that was not just the effect of the sunlight dancing off her creamy skin. As Ashley began to suckle happily, Kahlan looked up at him and smiled a wide smile of pure and utter joy.

Yes, something had changed. Last night, her sudden playfulness had been confusing. He was startled by it at first, and could tell that she had something she wanted to tell him. However, she wanted to make love first, so he eagerly complied. Richard groaned, grabbing his forehead as the throbbing pain of the headache assaulted his senses once again. He dropped, sitting on the edge of the bed, clutching his head in his hands.

"Richard… what's the matter?" the urgent worry in Kahlan's voice was hard not to miss and he hated that she worried so, though at the same time it brought him comfort to know that she cared. He felt her hand on his shoulder and having her touch seemed to lessen the throb in his head as he thought about the love he had for his Confessor.

"It's just a headache," Richard mumbled, stretching. He reached up to his shoulder and patted her hand reassuringly, pulling it to his lips to give it a kiss. "I'm fine."

"If you say so," Kahlan sat back, though she did not sound convinced. She pursed her lips, looking like she wanted to say something more, but then the ruckus from outside interrupted their little reverie from the rest of the world.

Richard stood and pulled his shirt on, grumbling. "I'm going to go see what all that racket is about."

"All right," Kahlan said, adjusting little Ashley in her arms, as he bent down cupping her face in his hand to kiss her. He pressed his lips softly against her, tenderly kissing the woman he loved, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. When he pulled back her eyes were closed and she wore an expression of pure bliss. "Don't be long…," she purred. "I have something to tell you, remember?"

Richard caressed her cheeks, brushing back her raven dark hair, and kissed her brow, before dropping down to plant a soft kiss on the top of Ashley's tiny head. "I shall not be long, then!"

Snatching the scabbard and Sword of Truth, he attached it to his belt as he made his way for the door. Grabbing the latch, Richard walked out and down the stairs. Jennsen and Laura were in the kitchen, drinking freshly squeezed orange juice. Jennsen offered Richard some, but he declined, asking her if she'd take some up to Kahlan. His sister nodded, and he ducked past, going out onto the porch. Cara was standing there, her arms crossed over her chest, looking out at the three horses that were stomping impatiently, as their riders dismounted. Chase was talking with them, and looked over his shoulder when he heard Richard arrive.

Skipping down the steps, the Seeker strolled over to his friend and narrowed his eyes, inspecting the riders. They were all women, middle-aged, if he had to guess, dressed in tan riding cloaks and had hoods over their heads. Dismounting gracefully, the women pulled back their hoods and smiled. One, with ringlets of brown hair, stepped forward and bowed her head towards him.

"You are Richard Cypher?" she asked, raising her eyebrows hopefully.

Richard gave a hesitant nod, lowering his hand to the hilt of his blade. These may be women, but during his search for the Stone of Tears with Zedd and Cara, Richard had heard rumors of magical women who wandered the Midlands in hunt of the Stone of Tears. According to the rumors, these women where sorceresses in service to the Keeper.

"And you are?" Richard questioned through gritted teeth as his head pounded.

"I am Sister Verna Sauventreen of the Sisters of the Light," the leader informed him, tucking a ringlet of brown hair behind an ear. "And these are my traveling companions, Sister Elizabeth and Sister Grace."

Chase looked back and forth between them, and then stepped back to stand beside Richard. The Mord'Sith sauntered off the porch and positioned herself not far behind her Lord Rahl.

"Sisters of the Light," repeated Richard, searching his mind for a reference. He found it soon enough and gave a nod. "From Thandore, right? Kahlan and I left Renn with you."

Sisters Elizabeth and Grace exchanged looks and then glanced at Verna in confusion. Verna, who was obviously the one in charge of this group, stepped forward, then stopped when Cara removed an agiel from its holster, the deadly weapon humming with its lethal magic.

"No… we do not come from Thandore," Verna spoke slowly. "We come from the Palace of the Prophets."

"Palace of the Prophets?" Richard narrowed his eyes. "Where's that?"

"It's in the Old World!" a voice shouted out. He turned his head to see Kahlan rushing down off the porch. She must have dressed quickly, because her clothing was still disheveled and the buttons on her blouse were off by one or two notches. Her long lush raven hair blew in the morning breeze as she rushed over to him. Jennsen emerged from the doorway, holding Ashley in her arms, watching the scene unfold.

Verna looked at Kahlan, confused, then realization dawned in her eyes. "Mother Confessor," the sorceress bowed her head, as did her companions.

"Sisters," Kahlan nodded in greetings. "What are you doing here form the Old World?"

"We come for the wizard," Sister Grace snapped out, looking peeved.

Verna spun around and gave her companion a stern look, before turning back and holding her hands in front of her. "We have been searching for many years… nearly half my life, in search of the most powerful Han the world has ever seen."

"Han?" Richard narrowed his eyes suddenly wishing Zedd were here.

"The gift, you silly boy," Sister Elizabeth huffed.

Again, Verna had to turn to her companions and reproach them. Taking a deep breath, the brown haired sorceress returned her attention to the Seeker and Mother Confessor. "We have come for you, Richard," she said.

"Me!" Richard furrowed his brow, utterly confused and perplexed. "I'm not a wizard… you must be thinking of my grandfather, Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander."

"We know of Zorander," Verna said. "The First Wizard of the Midlands. However, he is not the one we seek. We seek his grandson, the wizard born of two powerful bloodlines."

Kahlan was suddenly gripping his arm tightly. He could feel the worry radiating off her. He turned slightly and draped his arm over her shoulder, allowing her to more contact with his body as she hugged close to him. Verna's eyes narrowed, observing and noting the intimacy of their movements.

"You are the result of a union between the Zorander bloodline and the House of Rahl," the Sister of the Light stated calmly.

Richard's felt like he had been stabbed in the heart. He vaguely remembered that day in the village when General Trimack of the First File came and informed him of that. With everything that had happened since that day, Richard had almost forgotten. He dropped his head and clenched his jaw shut. He did not want to believe it, but he did not have the strength to argue while these blasted headaches seemed to sap him of his energy.

"We can make the headache go away," Sister Verna asserted.

"What?" Richard looked up, shocked. "How do you know about the headaches?" He glanced towards Chase, wondering if his friend had been divulging information to the sorceress.

"Your friend did not tell us," Sister Elizabeth growled. "We can read it on your face."

Verna nodded. "Your Han is struggling for release, Richard Cypher," she said. "You need to be trained in how to use it. Until then the headaches will remain, and only intensify… eventually killing you."

"No," he heard Kahlan whimper. Her arms tightened around his middle as she clutched on to him.

Cara step forward and swung her agiel in Verna's face. "You will cure him! Now!" she commanded, her eyes gleaming with the need to protect her Lord Rahl.

"Foolish girl!" Sister Grace snapped. "We cannot cure him."

"Shh, Sister, let me handle this," Verna admonished her fellow Sister of the Light. "This is obviously a more delicate matter than the Prelate led us to believe."

Richard gritted his teeth as the headaches seemed to grow in strength, making his head feel like it was on the verge of exploding. He slumped his shoulders and Kahlan held him up, her eyes filled with worry. Unable to respond himself, he heard Kahlan beginning to speak on his behalf.

"What do we need to do?" she inquired.

"He needs to come with us to the Palace of the Prophets," Verna said. "Only there can his Han be controlled and trained."

"Then we shall leave at once," Kahlan declared, turning to Cara. "Cara, prepare the—"

"No, you misunderstand, Mother Confessor," Verna interrupted, raising her hand. "Richard Cypher must come alone."

"If he goes, then so shall I!" Kahlan proclaimed defiantly.

"Our orders are only to bring the wizard," Sister Grace glowered. "The Prelate said nothing of bringing anyone else."

Verna nodded. "If Richard is to learn to control his Han, he must have no distractions," she looked apologetic. "And seeing how you two hold each other, you will no doubt be a distraction from his studies."

"No…," Richard murmured through the blinding pain of his headaches. "I will not leave her… she… she is the woman I love. I will not simply abandon her."

"We are not asking you to abandon her, Seeker," Verna asserted. "We are simply asking you to come with us and be trained. Once you can control your Han, you shall be free to return to your love."

"No…," he shook his head. "I refuse. Train me here, if need be. I will not leave."

"You need to be able to access your Han to train, foolish boy," Sister Elizabeth rolled her eyes and frowned.

Verna took a deep breath. "The only place that can possibly help in your training is the Palace of the Prophets," she paused and looked back and forth between him and Kahlan "You must come with us."

Richard leaned against Kahlan and glanced up at his beloved. She had been listening silently for a while, and he did not like the look on her face. She looked down at him with big watery eyes. He shook his head. "No, Kahlan, you cannot be serious," he said, already knowing what she was going to say.

"Richard… I cannot lose you," she whimpered, tears trickling down her face. "If we have to be separated for a while, then so be it. As long as you are alive, then I shall be happy."

"But Kahlan…"

"Listen to the Mother Confessor, Seeker," Verna said. "She speaks the truth." Her hand went inside her robes and she removed a polished silver collar that Richard instantly recognized as a Rada'Han. His eyes grew wide as memories of being collared by Denna flashed back to him.

"NO!" he cried. "I will not put that on."

"You must!" Verna insisted. "It is a long journey to the Palace of the Prophets. If you wish to survive, then you must put the Rada'Han on."

Richard shook his head, trying to stifle down the scream he wanted to release from the throbbing agony the headaches were causing. He looked up at Kahlan… she would understand. She knew how much he had suffered at Denna's hand.

"Kahlan?" he choked, looking for support.

But tears were streaming down her face. No! He could not believe this. The woman he loved was turning against him. He watched as she held out her hand, accepting the collar from Verna. "Please, Richard," she sobbed. "You must put it on… I… I don't want to lose you."

Richard backed away from her, his eyebrows rising in horror. How could this have happened? She was betraying him all over again! Spirits, Kahlan knew how he felt about collars. How he felt about Rada'Hans! He would not have even made her wear one to be with her, how could she ask him to do the same?

"Kahlan… no!" he shook his head and turned to Cara for support, but the Mord'Sith stood firm, averting her eyes and looking away. Even she, his most steadfast champion, was abandoning him.

"Richard!" Kahlan cried, demanding his attention.

Feeling like his heart was shattering all over again, he turned his eyes towards the woman he loved, who was holding out the silver collar.

"If you love me…," she sobbed, her face one of complete and utter anguish, as if she hated herself for saying this. "You will put it on."

Richard clenched his jaw. Oh, why did she have to say that? She knew he could not refuse her. With a trembling hand, he reached over and took it from her. Tentatively he held it up around his neck and snapped it shut, shuddering in terror at hearing the metal locking shut. Trapping him. The headache immediately vanished, but he felt hollow and empty inside, a shell of the man he had once been. He looked up at Kahlan, her beautiful face streaked with tears.

"I loved you," he murmured, as he slumped his shoulders in defeat. Reaching down he removed the Sword of Truth from its scabbard. Holding the blade up before him, resting it on his forehead, he murmured a soft prayer he had come to do with the magical blade during his quest for the Stone of Tears. "Sword, be true this day," he spoke in a whispered, Kahlan the only one who could hear him.

Moving the sword away, he held up his forearm and ran the sharp blade against his skin. Kahlan let out a cry as he cut his arm. Thanks to the Rada'Han he could no longer feel the fury of the blade ignite, as it tasted fresh blood. Rubbing the blade over his arm, coating it in his life's blood, Richard then placed it back home in its scabbard. Detaching it from his belt, he held it up to Kahlan.

"To protect you," he said, his voice wavering in torment and grief over what this woman he loved had done to him.

Though she was sobbing controllably, Kahlan managed to reach up and accept it. He absently watched as she pulled the baldric over her head, the leather strap coming to rest on her shoulder, allowing the sword to rest on her back. She reached down to her boot and pulled out a dagger. He recognized it as the dagger he had given her to defend herself when they had stormed the cabin to kill the bandits within.

Richard watched, startled, when Kahlan pulled out a thick clump of her hair and raised the blade up to her delicate strands. She cried out in pain as she cut her own hair. The sight of it made him weep. Long ago, Kahlan had told him that confessors could not cut their own hair, that doing so caused them immense pain. Watching her do this was horrifying. He wanted to stop her, but something inside him prevented him from doing so. With each slice of the blade, Kahlan would grimace and sob in pain, yet she did not stop until she had completely cut through the strands she held out. Once removed, she ripped some of the cloth of her blouse and tied it around the strands.

"For you, my love," she murmured, pulling him close and tucking the memento into his vest pocket, right above to his heart. Her delicate fingers wrapped around the Rada'Han and she tugged him down, planting a kiss on his lips. Richard closed his eyes and savored what he believed would be the last kiss from the woman he loved. When she backed away, she handed him the dagger, sniffling. "Stay safe and return to me."

Hesitantly, Richard reached up and took the dagger from her, their fingers briefly touching for the last time. Exhaling softly, Richard sheathed the dagger in his belt and turned from her, looking up at the Mord'Sith. He grounded his teeth together, forcing himself to speak. "Protect her as if she was me."

"Yes, Lord Rahl," Cara nodded, looking ashamed that she had not defended him from being collared.

Taking a deep breath, Richard turned his back on his so-called loved ones, tuning out Kahlan's cries of anguish and grief. Feeling dead inside, Richard looked up at Verna. "Lead on, Sister," he said.

Verna snapped her fingers. Sisters Elizabeth and Grace climbed onto their horses, gripping the reins and turning around to head out of Hartland. Verna held her reins in her hand and waited for Richard to follow. Sniffling and taking in a deep breath of utter defeat, Richard sighed and followed them on foot, Verna walking beside him, leading her mount on.

"WAIT! RICHARD!" Kahlan wailed, her voice laced with desperate need.

Richard arched his neck over his shoulder to look back at the woman he loved. Her brilliant raven hair was blowing wildly around her soft delicate features, marred by the grief playing on her face as she wrapped her arms around herself, her hands drifting towards her stomach. She opened her mouth to say more, but he just closed his eyes and turned his back to her, silently weeping for the love he had once again lost. She had used his love for her to trick him into putting a collar around his neck, knowing how much he despised such things. He was a slave to his love for her, and Kahlan knew it. She knew it, and used it against him, forcing him to become collared again. Now, as a slave, he walked away from his beloved, tears forming in his eyes, deaf to her sobs and her pleads for him to hear what she had to tell him.

That thing... that she so desperately wanted to tell him, would remain an enigma. He would never know it. As he continued on, leaving Kahlan and the future he had dreamt of behind, Richard quietly said a prayer to the good spirits, asking them to look after her and Ashley, and see them safely returned to Aydindril.


	31. Fighter

**Chapter 31 – Fighter**

The weight of the sword on her back was almost too much to bear. She crumpled down to the ground on her knees and cried loudly, not caring what the others thought. She had looked into his eyes and had seen him die inside. And spirits, she knew it was because of what she had done. What she had to do! There was nothing for it. If Richard had not put the Rada'Han on and gone with the Sisters of the Light, then he would have died. And no matter how much it hurt, Kahlan would not let that happen. She loved him too much, and she was going to need him alive to help raise Ashley… and their own unborn child. Oh, but why did he not stop when she called his name, wanting so much to tell him that she was with child… his child!

She felt arms wrap around her, trying to console and comfort her. She heard the deep voice of the forest warden, Richard's best friend, and the man who had taken her to the midwife last night. Kahlan sniffled and closed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears. She felt Chase help her up to her feet as her own strength gave out and the sobs rocked her whole body. Within moments, she was being ushered back inside.

Sitting around the kitchen table, Kahlan could hear the distant wails of her daughter. It was almost as if Ashley, too, was feeling the effects of this devastating loss. Richard may not be her father by blood, but he had been like a father to her since the day she was born. He had been the one to rock her to sleep for the first week of her life. It had been him that she had bonded with. Him that she trusted to protect her from the strange big world around her.

"What do we do?" it was Cara's voice. For the first time that she had known the Mord'Sith, Kahlan sensed fear in her wavering voice.

Gritting her teeth together, and wiping the tears from her eyes, Kahlan pushed back her hair and looked at Cara, who, at the present, looked nothing like a Mord'Sith. Kahlan was determined to be strong, to be the confessor she had been trained to be. She hated being so fragile and weak. If Richard had taught her anything, it was that she was a fighter, something she had forgot. Yet he had reminded her of it. So, unlike last time, this time Kahlan was going to fight for her life. She was going to stay strong, but just for herself, but from her daughters, both of them.

"We do the only thing we can," Kahlan forced out through a clench jaw. "We go to Aydindril and get Zedd."

Cara narrowed her D'Haran blue eyes and gave a nod, agreeing. "Yes! The Wizard will know what to do."

Chase furrowed his brow in concern. "You cannot be serious, Kahlan," he interjected. "Winter is still upon us, and the mountain pass will be treacherous."

"Richard is going through the mountain pass with those women!" Kahlan snapped, standing up, the chair toppling down behind her. "If he can do it, then so can I!"

"What about your daughter?" Chase asked, looking reproachful.

"I am not an unfit mother," Kahlan defended herself. "I can protect her. Besides…," she looked around feeling irritated with having this conversation. She glanced up at the Mord'Sith and their eyes locked. "Cara will be with me."

Cara gave a nod, a small understanding passing between the two of them. They both loved Richard, and would do anything for him. And Richard had ordered Cara to protect Kahlan. "I shall begin packing immediately."

Kahlan watched as the Mord'Sith rushed up the stairs. Emma came down, having heard all the racket, looking perplexed. "Chase, what's going on?"

"Richard has just left… something about him being a wizard, I can't really explain it," he shook his head, looking overwhelmed. "Kahlan and Cara are leaving… they are going to Aydindril."

"Now, in the heart of winter?" Emma furrowed her brow in concern. "And with a baby?"

"I've already tried talking her out of it," Chase informed his wife. He placed his hands on her arms, and his thumbs affectionately caressing his wife. "So I must go as well."

"Chase?" Kahlan blinked, shocked by his last assertion.

He looked over his shoulder at her. "Richard is my best friend," he said. "I cannot allow you to go alone…" he lowered his head, looking apologetic. "Not in your condition."

Kahlan looked at him, stunned, her hands immediately going to her belly. "You know?"

"Darla speaks quite loudly," he said. "And the moment I saw your face, I could tell."

"In another life, you might have been a confessor," Kahlan said, smiling softly. "You read people just as well as any confessor."

Chase gave a sad nod.

"I… I will come, too," came a timid sounding voice. Kahlan spun around to see Jennsen holding Ashley, who had quieted somewhat.

"Jennsen, you don't have to come," Kahlan said, stepping forward and placing a hand on her shoulder.

Jennsen shook her head. "Richard told me that he loves you more than his own life," she said. "And that he views Ashley as if she were his own. I am his sister. And you are his family. So you are my family as well. And I will stay with my family… wherever they go."

Kahlan gave a reluctant nod, surprised at the conviction in Jennsen's voice. It almost brought tears of joy to her eyes to hear that Jennsen considered them part of her family.

"Thank you," she spoke softly and gave Jennsen a quick hug.

Once things had been decided, the rest of the morning was spent getting ready. Kahlan and Emma took turns taking care of Ashley, as Jennsen and Laura packed food for the journey. Chase helped Cara prepare the horses, as the other Brandstone children all rushed around Kahlan wanting to say goodbye to the baby. Ashley giggled and smiled up at all the faces, drooling a bit. Kahlan felt a single teardrop escape her eye and slide down her cheek as she thought of how Richard would have enjoyed seeing Ashley getting all happy, not to mention the joy he would feel knowing the he was to become a father. Kahlan was already feeling the effects of that, and she prayed to the good spirits that they would allow Richard to return to her before she gave birth.

Without anything to do, other than wait, Kahlan felt the sorrow and torment hit her again. She excused herself and went up to the guestroom with the intention of packing her things. But when she got there, she started sobbing uncontrollably. Rifling through her pack, she pulled out one of Richard's shirts and clutched it to her breast, collapsing on the bed and crying. Pulling it to her nose, she smelled his scent on the fabric and sobbed, feeling her chest heave and her heart ache from his absence. There was a part of her that wished she had not sent him away, but his life had been in danger, and that was not something she was willing to risk. Regaining her composure, Kahlan stuffed everything up in her pack, having to really ram it all in there to make it fit, before slipping back down stairs to meet up with the others.

Kahlan, Cara, and Jennsen waited outside as Chase said farewell to his family. From on top of her horse, cradling Ashley in the sling that Richard had given her before and feeling the weight of the Sword of Truth on her back, Kahlan watched as Chase embraced his wife, kissing her tenderly in much the same way as Richard had kissed her. Kahlan reached up and brushed her fingertips across her lips, missing her love. Their last kiss had not been what she had wanted. He had still been too stunned and hurt over the placement of the Rada'Han around his next to return her loving kiss. Kahlan would fight to her last breath to ensure that that kiss was not the last they ever shared. And she could only wish that Richard did not hate her for what she had done, and that, in time, he would understand.


	32. Longing

**Chapter 32 – Longing**

Richard knelt down and peered past the tree, watching. His breath fogged before him as he took quick steady breaths, calming himself, allowing all his attention to focus on the task he was doing. He slowly raised the dagger she had given him and threw it with expert precision, hitting his target. Rushing through the brush, Richard stooped over the corpse of the deer. Sister Verna stepped out from behind him and looked down, raising an eyebrow.

"Impressive," she said. "You've obviously already learned to tap in to some of your abilities."

"Huh?" Richard looked up, knitting his eyebrows together, confused.

Verna knelt down beside him and pulled the dagger from the deer as if it was no matter, no even wincing at the sight of the blood. She twirled it around in her fingers and handed it back. "The precision you exhibited in throwing this dagger…," Verna said. "Someone without the gift could not have done it."

Richard frowned. "I don't think so," he shook his head, unconvinced. "Any experienced hunter could have made that throw." He took the dagger from the Sister of the Light and went to work on the carcass, beginning to skin it. "Well, at the very least, we'll eat better tonight than we have in the past few weeks." He allowed a smile. "I've gotten tired of dried fruit and jerky."

"As have I," Verna said. "I must thank you."

Richard knitted his eyebrows together and looked up at her. "If you want to thank me, remove this Rada'Han from around my neck."

She gave him an apologetic smile. "I'm afraid that this Rada'Han is unlike any you have encountered, Seeker."

"How so?" he paused in his work.

Verna knelt beside him. "This Rada'Han has no key," she said. "There is nothing in the physical world that can remove it."

Richard snorted and shook his head, dubious. "If I still had the Sword of Truth, I could probably break this thing," he raised his hand and wrapped his fingers around the cold metal.

"Perhaps," Verna raised an eyebrow. "Or perhaps not. We shall never know, shall we? You gave the sword to the Mother Confessor."

Huffing, Richard turned back to the deer carcass and continued working on it. "Why don't you go back and see to your Sisters?" he glowered.

Verna shifted and stood up, folding her hands together. "Why did you do that, anyway? Give the sword to her?"

"You wouldn't understand," Richard said, cutting open the carcass and removing the meat.

"Try me, Seeker," Verna asserted. "I may surprise you."

Richard paused and sucked in a deep breath, rolling his eyes. Verna had been doing this for the entire three weeks they had been journeying across the Midlands. The others, Sister Grace and Sister Elizabeth had changed as well. Their abrasive attitudes towards him from the start, the two older Sisters were much more friendly and no longer seemed to hurl out insults. Sister Elizabeth even went as far as to apologize for the way they had acted, saying that their travels throughout the Midlands had been hard on them. She hoped that he did not hold any grudge towards them for acting the way they had. Richard had assured her that he held no ill will, most of that was directed towards another, though it pained him that it did.

And it irritated him that Sister Verna kept bringing her up. There had been times when all he could do was think of her, and he would simply want to crawl into some hole somewhere and die. Not being with her was that painful. The depths of her betrayal still stung. Richard remembered how he felt when he had returned to Aydindril and discovered her heavy with child. He had felt betrayed then as well, but this betrayal seemed to cut deeper.

After cutting up the meat, Richard sought out some solitude while the Sisters set up camp, using their magic to start the fire. It was bitterly cold, and he looked longingly at the roaring fire as it came to life. But all he could do was clutch the green cloak that Verna had given him tighter around his shivering form. It had been quite generous of Verna to give him the cloak. He had been so quick to leave Chase's house that he had not taken the time to retrieve his pack. Considering what had just happened, with what Kahlan had done to him, he could not bring himself to linger any longer than he had. Just being in her presence was enough to drive him insane. Sure he felt betrayed, but spirits, he still loved her.

Shifting the cloak, he reached inside to his vest pocket and pulled out the lock of Kahlan's hair. This had become almost a grim ritual of his. It was the last thing that he possessed of his precious Kahlan. He fiddled with the strands, watching as the dark brown shimmered and gleamed in the setting sun with a raven black sheen. He took a deep breath of the cool air and sighed, missing her radiant beauty… not to mention the warmth of her body next to his. But it was more than just that. When he had fallen in love with Kahlan, his soul had literally become one with hers. Even if he could have never been able to be with her, he would have gladly stood by her side for the rest of his life. His love for her was that deep.

Out of everything, that was probably what made what she had done the most painful. Kahlan had used the love that he had for her again him. Commanded him, like he was one of her confessed men. And he had obeyed, even knowing what he was doing. He might not have been confessed by magic, but he was by love. Richard would do anything Kahlan asked of him. But for her to order him away… it just tormented him so that he felt like he was worthless.

He sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Oh, Kahlan," he murmured softly to himself as he stared at her hair, holding it gently in one hand as he tenderly caressed it with the other. "I miss you… so much. Please… don't give up on me. I swear by the good spirits that I will return to you. I swear that I will make you mine for all time."

Richard closed his eyes and whispered a soft prayer to the good spirits to look after Kahlan and Ashley. He pressed a delicate kiss to the ragged cloth—torn from her blouse—that held the strands of her luscious hair together.

"Wherever you are, my Kahlan, know that I still love you," he mumbled into the strands as he brought them up to his hair to smell her scent. Closing his eyes he inhaled deeply, detecting the faintest hint of the fragrance that was Kahlan. He frowned, lowering his brow as he carefully placed the lock of hair back in his vest pocket. Her scent was dissipating, being replaced with his own smell.

"Supper is ready."

Richard blinked and looked up, startled to see Verna standing before him. "I'm not hungry," he asserted, lying through his teeth.

The Sister of the Light seemed to sense the lie, but ignored it for the time being. Her eyes narrowed as she glanced down at him. "You were thinking of her, weren't you?"

He gave her an annoyed look, telling the sorceress that he did not appreciate being spied on. She gave a soft smile and knelt down beside him, placing a hand on his arm.

"You can talk to me, Richard," Verna said.

"All right," he groaned. "I love her, okay!" Richard shifted his cloak and pulled out her lock of hair again, twirling it around in his fingers. His eyes began to water. "It hurts so much being parted from her. I… I wish I hadn't left her like that. I… I should have told her that I still love her. Maybe then I would not lose her."

Verna shook her head. "You are not going to lose her, Seeker," she said.

"Oh, and how do you know?" he demanded. "She obviously doesn't want me anymore, why else would she send me away?"

"To save you, Richard," Verna said, easing down onto the ground next to him.

"Save me?" his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Yes, if you did not put the Rada'Han on and come with us, you would most likely have died in a month from the headaches," she spoke matter-of-factly. "If the Mother Confessor had not made you put it on, then you would be dying right now. Instead, you are alive and well, thanks to her."

She stood up and smiled softly.

"Come, sit by the fire with us," she suggested. "We can talk about what you can expect once we arrive at the Palace of the Prophets." She paused and smirked. "The sooner we get there, the quicker you can begin your training and then return to the woman you love."

Richard looked up, taking a deep breath, before glancing back at the dark locks of her hair he held in his hand. He clutched them to his chest, and nodded, wanting to be with her. Standing, he tenderly replaced them back into his vest pocket and headed over to the fire with Verna for supper, thinking of Kahlan.


	33. Through The Mountain Pass

**Chapter 33 – Through The Mountain Pass**

Kahlan pulled back her hair as she leaned over the rock and retched up the remnants of her last meal. Wiping her mouth on her sleeve, she pulled her cloak tighter around her body, shivering in the cold. Kahlan hated it with a vengeance. Though it was mainly for the fact that when she went to sleep, she did not have the added warmth of a certain handsome woods guide next to her to help heat up the cocoon of her blanket. Closer her eyes and taking a deep breath, feeling the chill ripple throughout her entire body as she sucked in the cold air, Kahlan stood up, comforted only by the weight of the Sword of Truth on her back.

She had never removed it from her person, always keeping it close. It was all she had left of the man she loved… well that and the life that was growing in side her and giving her this awful nausea. Tucking a loose strand of her raven hair back behind an ear, Kahlan hiked up her hood and made her way back to camp. By Cara's best estimation, they were halfway to Aydindril. They would have been further along, but because of Ashley—and Kahlan's condition, they were using the Jara Pass instead of cutting their own path through the Rang'Shada mountain range, as Kahlan and Richard had often done during their quest with Zedd to defeat Darken Rahl.

The journey through the mountain passes along Westland had not been as difficult as they had feared. The snow had yet to fully block any route, and with Chase as their guide, they made it through without any hardships. Even little Ashley faired well enough, though, Kahlan had begun to have difficulty feeding her. Food was sparse on their journey and everyone was eating less than they previously had. However, much to Kahlan's annoyance, the others always gave her a bigger quantity. She didn't want it, not wanting to be treated any differently, but they all insisted. Sometimes it took Chase having to remind her that she was eating for two, herself and her child… Richard's child. The thought of possibly causing damage to the child she was carrying within her was enough to silence her objections.

Though nothing seemed to stop the morning sickness. Somehow, having already experienced it while carrying Ashley, Kahlan did not mind it as much… however, it was still a nuisance. Shivering, Kahlan continued on her way back to camp, ducking her head under a branch shrouded in the soft white powder of snow. When she got back, she found Chase adjusting the boughs over their little makeshift shelter. The wind was picking up, sending more of the flurries towards them. He took out his axe and nodded as he walked past her in his quest to acquire some more supplies to shield them from the weather.

As the forest warden went about that task, Kahlan lowered her head and entered their shelter. It was warm inside, and she found Jennsen sitting close to the small fire, holding a softly cooing Ashley in her arms. Cara was not there, still patrolling the perimeter. Richard's sister's hair was almost as bright as the fire, and she looked up, smiling, when she noticed Kahlan had returned.

"I think she's finally falling asleep," Jennsen spoke softly, gently easing Ashley over to Kahlan's arms.

Kahlan took her daughter and wrapped the cloth bundle tighter around her little body. Tucking Ashley close, Kahlan opened her cloak and brought her babe closer to her breast, doing her best to keep her warm. Jennsen hugged her knees and stared into the fire. It was clear that she was missing her brother just as much as Kahlan was, though probably for different reasons. Chase returned and added some more boughs to the top of their little shelter, and moved some around to create a sort of wall to protect their flank. He ducked down inside and added some more sticks to the fire, having quickly chopped the wood off from a nearby tree. He was just as good a woodsman as Richard was, perhaps even a little better. Being older than Richard, Chase was more experienced.

"Are you okay?" he asked, easing down onto the cold ground beside her.

Kahlan gave a nod. "It's getting better," she said. "If my last time is any indication, it should not last much longer. Maybe another month or two." At times it was hard to believe that it had been three weeks since she had last seen her Richard, she missed him so.

"Here," Chase picked up a blanket and draped it over her shoulders. "You should try and get some sleep."

Biting her lower lip, Kahlan inclined her head, trying to stifle a yawn. She was tired. Having this constant nausea and then feeding Ashley seemed to drain her more than it had before. After all, she was now caring for three instead of just two: Herself, Ashley, and her yet unborn child, who was already demanding a lot of her energy. Kahlan smiled at that, thinking that she was already so much like Richard. He had said she was a fighter, but Kahlan knew that he fit that description better. And from what she was already experiencing, their daughter was definitely going to be a little handful.

She agreed with Chase, though, she needed her rest. And besides, her dreams helped to warm her. Kahlan's dreams were always on Richard, and often focused on her first time with him in the wayward pine. She wanted to be with him again, to feel his warm body next to hers. To feel the thrill and euphoria that came with becoming one with him. Being with Richard was the highlight of her life; she had never known so much joy as she had when she was with him.

Tugging the blanket tighter around her shivering body, Kahlan shifted over to her bedroll and eased down. She adjusted little Ashley in her arms as she laid down, ensuring the she would not wake the little confessor. As she pulled the blanket up over her shoulders, Kahlan could still feel the cold steel of the Sword of Truth resting on her back. She smiled, welcoming the hard cold metal, because it was a reminder of Richard. Nothing was ever going to make her part from this sword. Resting her head on the makeshift pillow, Kahlan closed her eyes, hugging her daughter close, and dreamt of the man she loved.

XXX

The cold metal weighed heavy on her back, but she paid it no mind. She was exhausted and tired, yet as the snow flurries danced around her, Kahlan was filled with a new sense of hope and optimism. As she squinted out, Kahlan saw the low lands stretching out before them, seeing all the valleys and wooded dales she had played in as a child. They were close to home, to Aydindril, yet it felt bittersweet, not returning with Richard by her side. Squeezing her legs tighter, Kahlan urged her horse on. The mare snorted, but complied with her rider's will. With one hand on Ashley and the other on the reins, Kahlan steered the mare down the slope, following behind Chase, who led the way. Jennsen and Cara were not far behind, slowly trotting along on their own mounts.

As they rode down the path, heading towards the final leg of their journey, Kahlan's thoughts wandered. She remembered riding on horseback with Richard and Zedd down this very path when they had been on their quest to fulfill prophecy. Richard had just told her that in order to use the Boxes of Orden to defeat Darken Rahl, she was going to have to confess him. They had fought over that, arguing and debating. She had not wanted to do it, but in the end, Richard and Zedd had convinced her it was necessary, that the powers of Orden would protect Richard from becoming confessed, that all her powers would do was tame the aggression that came with wielding the powers of Orden.

Everything had been so different back then. Yet in a matter of weeks, everything had changed. She had betrayed Richard, taking a mate and having a child that was not his. Kahlan still felt the bitter heartache of that act, and she had prayed constantly to the good spirits that they would somehow allow her to forget those times when she had to lay with Dragen, but they would not grant her that wish. Those disturbing images always seemed to pop in her head when she least wanted them, disrupting her thoughts of her time with Richard in the wayward pine and all the other times she had been with him.

There was still a part of her that could not believe that Richard had actually taken her back. It was like a dream. Then discovering that when they had finally made love for the first time, that union had resulted in her becoming with child. It was almost too good to be true. And sure enough, the fates deemed to terrorize them once more, taking Richard away from her in the most agonizing way possible. It pained her greatly that Richard thought she had sent him away, forcing him to put the collar on, knowing full well how much he hated such things. However, it was necessary. Kahlan could only go on living knowing that Richard was still alive, even if he wasn't with her.

As they descended from the mountains, the clouds parted and Kahlan caught a glimpse of the glimmering walls of Aydindril far in the distance. She wondered what the First Wizard would say once she informed him of what had happened. Not just about Richard being taken by the Sisters of the Light to the Old World to be trained as a wizard, but of finally being able to consummate her love for him and becoming with child. She hoped that Zedd would understand and wish to help. If there was anything Kahlan needed right now, it was understanding and help.


	34. Palace

**Chapter 34 – Palace**

The wood was perfect. Soft enough to cut, yet still strong enough that it would not break easily. Sitting by the fire, listening to the embers crackle and spark, Richard took out the dagger Kahlan had given him, and began twiddling down the piece of wood. He did not know what he was doing; he was just letting his motions carry him to wherever they wanted to go. The shavings littered the ground before him, and he paused, looking at it in the dim light. It was beginning to take form, but he would not be complete until much later on. He was going to pour his heart into this thing, and he wanted the experience of carving it to last.

Tucking it into his cloak pocket, Richard leaned back against the dead tree trunk and gazed into the fire, picking up a stick to poke the dying embers to revive them. The three Sisters of the Light were asleep, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Which, as fate would have it, were always on Kahlan. He gazed deeply into the hot orange glowing embers of the smoldering fire and pictured her beautiful face. But when he did, his heart ached in his chest as he saw the anguish and tears on her face. That had been how she had looked that last time Richard had ever seen her. He wished he could envision her as she had been after he had made love to her for the first time. That is how he wanted to remember his Kahlan.

If he closed his eyes hard enough and concentrated, Richard could see her face as it had been then. Her cheeks had been flushed, pink and warm with the lingering effects of her release. Her soft silky skin was creamy and moist, the dew of their lovemaking coating her entire body. Her eyes had been glazed over from the rapture and ecstasy that she proclaimed was the first time she had ever felt such heights of physical pleasure. Her nose had wrinkled in that adorable little way he liked so much when she looked up at him. Her lips pouting, looking oh so tempting. They trembled slightly, waiting for him to still them with a kiss. And he had complied, tenderly pressing his lips against her, giving her a long and deep kiss filled with all the love and passion he had for her. The love and passion he still had for her. For his Kahlan.

Opening his eyes, Richard stared back at the dimming embers, watching as the last remnants of the fire went out. Yawning, Richard shifted, adjusting his back on the fallen tree trunk so that he was more comfortable. As he leaned back, preparing to go to sleep, he reached inside his vest pocket and pulled out the lock of Kahlan's beautiful dark hair. Her dark brown hair was so dark that it almost always appeared to be raven black to him, but when the light hit it just right, he could tell it was dark brown… a dark brown he loved.

Richard pulled the locks up to his nose and smelled her scent. He thanked the spirits that it was still strong enough to sense. The journey across the Midlands had been arduous, to say the least, and he had been worried that her scent would have escaped, but it had lingered. Kissing the strap of her blouse she had torn and used to band the strands together, Richard then clutched it to his heart and closed his eyes, softly whispering his love to her, wishing that she returned those feelings.

"Wherever you are, my beautiful Kahlan," he murmured to the wind. "I love you." Sleep then took him, and Richard seemed sweet dreams of his one and true Confessor… his Kahlan.

XXX

"Wake up, Seeker," it was Verna.

Richard blinked and squinted in the morning light. Looking around the camp, he found Sisters Elizabeth and Grace were already gone. He glanced up to Verna, her ringlets of brown hair framing her face.

"My Sisters have ridden ahead to inform the Palace of the Prophets of our impending arrival," the Sister of the Light informed him. She raised an eyebrow as her keen eyes looked over him with a critical gaze. "I suggest you go to the creek and wash up. We wouldn't want you arriving looking all dirty, now would we?"

She tossed a washcloth in his face, and turned back to the fire, preparing what looked like a meal of watered down beans—leftovers from last night. Richard stood and yawned, stretching. He arched his back and felt inside his vest pocket to ensure that Kahlan's lock of hair was still there. Giving a brief nod to Verna, Richard scratched the back of his head, before heading off towards the creek. The horses were tethered nearby, so it was easy enough to find. He patted their necks and rubbed their snouts, promising to find them each an apple once they got to the Palace of the Prophets. They neighed and looked pleased with the promise.

Crouching by the creek bed, Richard shed his cloak and vest jacket, though he was careful with placing it on the ground, seeking to keep his memento of his love safe and sound. He cupped his hands in the cool water and splashed his face, blinking his eyes as the fog of sleep began to lift. He dipped the washcloth into the waters, and then rubbed it along his neck, trying to clean around the metal collar, but it was difficult. Once finished there, he ran the cloth along the top portion of his chest, feeling the water drip down the inside of his shirt. In all honesty, he really didn't care how he appeared before these Sisters of the Light at the Palace of the Prophets. All he cared about was finding out what he needed to know to control his Han, so he could then return to the woman he love, hoping she still wanted him.

He shook his head. Verna had spoken with him about this many times, and she was right. Kahlan loved him. Why else would she have suffered the pain of cutting her own hair, giving him a generous supply of it, if she did not love him? Richard had seen the tears in her eyes when she had made him put the Rada'Han on. Her face had been filled with anguish and torment at having to force him to snap the bloody thing around his neck. Spirits, she had even yelled for him to wait, but he had been so heartbroken at the time that he had not paid attention, ignoring her crying pleas for him.

Taking a deep breath through his nostrils, filling his lungs with the cool morning air, Richard felt his heart warm with his thoughts of Kahlan. His love for her was eternal. Even her having betrayed him by taking a mate had not diminished it. It had been hurt, yes, but it had never been extinguished. He half smiled and let out a quiet chuckled. No matter what she did he would always love her… always sacrifice whatever was asked to be with her.

Finishing up, Richard pulled his vest jacket and cloak back on. When he returned to the camp, Verna pursed her lips, saying nothing, though her eyes told him that she knew of whom he had been thinking about. He ate his breakfast quickly, not really tasting it. They were soon packed and on their way, Richard hoping and praying that his stay at this palace would not be long.

XXX

It was larger than he thought it was going to be, rising well above the tallest trees. It's domed towers sparkling in the sunlight. Richard narrowed his eyes and knitted his eyebrows together, looking up at it. Part of him felt that it looked out of place amongst all this greenery. But who was he to judge the construction habits of the residents of the Old World. Growing up in Westland, Richard had never seen any palaces, or castles for that matter. But ever since his first trip into the Midlands, he'd seen quite a few. From the palace at Tamarang, to the People's Palace, to the white marble glory that was the Confessor's Palace, the Palace of the Prophets was nothing special to him. He found he liked the Confessor's Palace more, but that might just be because he was in love with the ruler of that particular palace.

Verna led the way to the stables, where they dismounted, allowing the grooms to take hold of the horses. Richard spoke with one of the young lads, making him swear to give the two horses some apples, after all Richard had promised them, and he always kept his promises. Adjusting his cloak, Richard followed Verna as she walked up the steps to the large double doors that opened up into a foyer. The room was filled with Sisters of the Light, all dressed in red veiled robes. Some wore their dresses in ways that obviously showed off their attractive figures, while others, the more homely ones, were more reserved.

There was this one, a small petite Sister with keen green eyes and long brown hair that stared at him intently, as if she had designs on him. He clenched his jaw tightly and looked away before their eyes could lock. She was pretty, there was no doubt about that, but compared to Kahlan, the most exquisite creature in this room would be homely. They were small specks of light compared to her. And Kahlan was the sun! Glorious and warm, forever radiating off her love and beauty. He would happily sacrifice his life to ensure that Kahlan could live. That was the depths to which he loved that confessor.

"Sister Verna, welcome back," the petite Sister with the keen green eyes spoke up, stepping forward. "I see you have finally returned with my pupil?"

"Your pupil?" Verna raised her eyebrows, looking surprised.

"Yes, mine," the younger Sister asserted, smiling up at Richard. He could not help but notice how she did her best to make her robes cling suggestive to her petite slender frame. He knew what she was trying to do, but it was not going to work. The Sister looked back at Verna and inclined her head. "The Prelate has given me the honor of training the wizard who possess the most powerful Han ever known."

"Well, good luck, then," Verna replied back, a sharp note to her voice. She turned back to Richard and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I shall leave you with your teacher, Seeker. Please, try and learn…" she leaned closer and lowered her voice. "Don't let her pretty young eyes distract you."

Richard gave a frown, feeling insulted that she would even think he could be distracted by anyone other than Kahlan. "I don't think you have to worry about that, Verna," he said, eyeing the younger Sister. "She's not my type."

"Oh, yes I know… you like Confessors, not Sisters of the Light," Verna smirked. "Well, a particular confessor is more like it, I guess."

Instinctively, Richard placed a hand over his vest pocket, where the lock of Kahlan's hair was stored. The Prelate could surround him with as many pretty young things as she wished. But none of them could hold a candle to the roaring fire that was Kahlan Amnell.


	35. Faith

**Chapter 35 – Faith**

The others waited outside, knowing that this was something she wanted to do on her own. Strolling through the double doors into the large marble foyer of the Confessor's Palace, Kahlan was startled to see that the First Wizard was already standing there, waiting. His arms were folded across his chest and he looked very much displeased with her. His grey eyebrows lowered and knitted together as he frowned at her.

"Absconding in the middle of the night!" he huffed. "I did not expect that of you, my dear. And taking the Sword of Truth, as well, shocked me to no ends." He narrowed his hazel eyes and glared at her, lowering his head like a disappointed father. "Kahlan Amnell… what were you thinking?"

Kahlan took a quick breath and tilted her head back, trying to strike the pose of a confident and commanding Mother Confessor, but it was difficult with Ashley in her arms. "I… I am the Mother Confessor, Zedd," she started of slowly. "I can do as I please. And besides, I've brought the sword back." She sniffled, remembering how she had got it back.

"Well, all right, give it to me," he said stepping forward, excepting her explanation. She was a little surprise that he made no comment on Ashley.

"NO!" she shouted, stepping back and clutching Ashley closer to her breast as her daughter let out a whimper to her outburst.

Zedd came to a halt about ten feet away, letting his hands fall to his sides as his eyes looked over her with the scrutiny that only a wizard could muster. It was a look that Richard had already mastered, yet when Richard looked at her this way she did not feel as anxious. "And why not?" the wizard inquired.

"It's rightful owner gave it to me for safe keeping," Kahlan asserted.

"_It's rightful owner_," Zedd repeated, stroking his chin with his long fingers. "So you went to find Richard, is that it?"

"I… I had to see him, Zedd," Kahlan said. "I had to explain myself. He had not given me the chance to do that. At the very least, I had to tell him."

Zedd nodded. "And along the way the next confessor came," he said with a nod of his head towards the bundle in her arms, finally acknowledging Ashley.

"If you must know, the Seeker helped me to give birth to her," Kahlan said. "And he named her, as well."

"_He_ named her?" Zedd stepped forward, looking curious.

"Yes," Kahlan said, smiling, remembering how natural Ashley looked in Richard's arms. She was his daughter by everything but blood. It pained her to remember that fact, but it brought her joy knowing how Richard had opened himself to the little confessor with no malice or hate in his heart. "Her name is Ashley Amnell."

"Ashley," Zedd murmured, standing right before her now.

His large weathered hand brushed the swaddling cloth aside as he gaze upon the babe's face. Ashley blinked her bright blue eyes and looked up at the old man with a confused expression. Zedd was Richard's grandfather, so Kahlan wondered if maybe her daughter could sense the familial connection. The old wizard gently tussled Ashley's mess of dark hair, earning a little giggle as a reward.

"She's beautiful, Kahlan," he said, glancing back up at her with his penetrating gaze.

Kahlan sucked in a breath, filling her lungs with much needed oxygen. Her chest tightened as she waited for the old wizard to inquire about her mate, but he did not. Zedd merely continued examining the newest confessor. Then out of the blue, in the middle of tickling Ashley's chin, Zedd looked up at her with a disarming gaze and asked a question she had not expected.

"How far along are you?" he asked.

"What?" Kahlan blinked, startled.

"With child…," Zedd elaborated. "You have that glow about you." He shook his heard and grinned. "A wizard can tell."

"Just over two months, I suppose," Kahlan answered, squinting up at the wizard.

"Am I right in assuming that Richard is the father?" Zedd inquired as he continued playing with Ashley.

Kahlan's mouth involuntarily dropped. Her stunned expression made the wizard chuckle and he nodded to himself. "I knew you two would make up… I just did not expect it would be so quickly," he lowered his brow. "Or so… well, so physical in nature." He smirked.

"Richard is unaffected by my powers," Kahlan managed to squeak out, as if it needed to be said aloud.

"Oh, I had no doubt that he would be," Zedd said, holding out his arms. "May I?"

Kahlan furrowed her brow in confusion, yet was clear headed enough to hand Ashley over. Zedd grinned brightly and rocked the little babe in his hands. Ashley giggled and cooed softly, seemingly enjoying herself greatly. Kahlan stood there feeling stunned and lightheaded. She brushed her hair back from her face and rubbed her forehead, feeling confused and perplexed.

"You knew we could be together?" she asked, incredulously.

"From the start, yes," Zedd said. "Why did you think I kept telling you two that you could never act on those feelings? Richard had to be absolutely sure that he loved you… there had to be no doubt in his mind. Just the smallest doubt would have resulted in him becoming confessed." He paused and smiled down at Ashley. "I take it my grandson performed admirably?"

Kahlan blushed brightly pink, but managed a coy smile. "That is none of your business," she replied, letting out a breath.

Zedd looked up and chuckled. "All right, now tell me, where is the man that managed to love a confessor and not be confessed?"

Kahlan gulped, remembering that awful day. She had relived it so many times during their journey across the Midlands. It had been heart wrenching watching Richard place the collar around his neck and seeing the light in his eyes dim, believing she was sending him away. It hurt even more knowing that he was unaware that she was carrying his child. That their love had combined and mingled together to create a new life. Biting her quivering lower lip, she slowly ran one hand along her belly.

"With the Sisters of the Light," Kahlan choked out, trying to stifle the sobbing that wanted to come.

Zedd immediately stopped his rocking of Ashley and his eyes went wide. "His Han?"

Kahlan raised her eyebrows, but nodded, accepting Ashley back as Zedd rushed towards the doors and called the others in. Cara and Jennsen appeared first, and were then followed by an awestruck Chase, his eyes roaming all across the massive statuary and columns that lined the grand foyer of the Confessor's Palace. Kahlan smiled softly, he had been so stunned when he first caught glimpse of the marble façade of the Confessor's Palace with his gleaming columns and high dome.

"Zedd, what is it?" Cara asked, placing her hands on her hips, taking note of the wizard's grave expression.

Zedd paced before them. "For some time, I have been hearing rumors that the Sisters of the Light have become corrupted by dark powers," he informed them.

The Mord'Sith gave a nod and cast a wary glance towards her. Holding Ashley in her arms, Kahlan stepped forward and looked directly at Cara, sensing that the Mord'Sith knew what the old wizard was talking about. "Tell me."

"During our hunt for the Stone of Tears," Cara explained, gesturing with her hands as she spoke, "we heard about a group of women… sorceresses, who served the Keeper. Word was that they came from the Old World."

"And they do," Zedd put forth. "They are vile temptresses, and we've given them Richard!"

"No," Kahlan shook her head, not wanting to believe it. "He is with Sisters of the Light!"

"Aye, that may be true," Zedd said. "He may have left with Sisters of the Light, but now, at that bloody palace of theirs, he is amongst enemies as well. Foul fiends whose true loyalty is hidden behind pretty faces." Zedd gave a grave nod. "Richard is in danger, that much is for certain." He looked out at them. "We must go to the Old World at once and retrieve him before they have the time to sink their claws into the poor boy."

Kahlan was breathing heavily, her heart racing. "Then let's go at once!"

"No, not you, dear one," Zedd gave her an apologetic look and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You are with child, and have another that needs your attentions. Now is not the time to go off into battle."

"But I can help!" Kahlan insisted. "I'm still a confessor… his Confessor!"

"He's right," Chase said, stepping forward. "How do you think Richard would react if he knew you were carrying his child and put yourself into harm's way."

Kahlan's lower lip quivered in anxiety and fear, but she gave a tentative nod. Reluctantly, she agreed to stay, on the one condition that both Chase and Cara assist Zedd.

"But Richard ordered me to stay and protect you," Cara objected.

"I'm the Mother Confessor, Cara," Kahlan said, rocking Ashley in her arms. "The people of Aydindril will protect me. Right now, Richard—your Lord Rahl—needs you. Go. Go and bring him back to me."

Cara narrowed her piercing D'Haran eyes, but relented. "As you command, Mother Confessor."

"And the sword?" Zedd inquired, looking anxious.

Kahlan bit her lower lip and thought. "Richard gave it to me so that I could defend myself," she said, closing her eyes as she made her decision. "However, I must go against his wishes and give it to you."

Jennsen came over and took Ashley from her, as Kahlan took the baldric up off her shoulder. When the weight of the sword left her back, Kahlan felt sad. She had grown accustomed to its weight and would miss it. Gripping the scabbard in her hands, she held it up towards Zedd. The wizard reached over and grabbed a hold of the elaborate silver casing.

"Tell him that I am sorry," she said. "But the sword belongs with the Seeker." Kahlan released her hold and Zedd took the sword and quickly hid it amongst the folds of his robe. "And…," Kahlan pushed out. "Tell him to come back to me."

Chase and Cara gave a nod. Zedd lowered his bushy brow and pulled her into a grandfatherly hug. "We will bring him back to you, dear one," he reassured her. "Don't you worry."

Kahlan swallowed past the lump in her throat and inclined her head. She fiddled with her hands and looked down, not wanting to say goodbye, for fear that it would make it final. Cara and Chase went out the door and Zedd lingered, speaking with his granddaughter. He gave her a hug, then turned and looked down at Kahlan.

"Stay safe, dear one," he said, then with a whimsical smirk, he shuffled through the large double doors and disappeared.

Jennsen came up and stood beside her, gently rocking Ashley in her arms, as the little infant began to go to sleep. "Don't worry, Kahlan," she said. "Richard will be all right. He'll come back to you. Have faith in him… he always had faith in you."

Kahlan bit her lower lip and knitted her eyebrows together, trying to hold back the floodgates that screamed for release. She wanted nothing more than to be going out there with them. But Zedd was right, she needed to stay here and ensure nothing happened to her unborn child and to Ashley. Slowly she walked out of the grand entrance hall and out onto the front steps of the Confessor's Palace. She watched as Zedd, Cara, and Chase took off on their horses, riding with great haste towards the city gates. Hugging herself, Kahlan closed her eyes, and felt a single tear run down her cheek.

"Be strong, my Richard," she whispered into the wind. "I have faith in you."


	36. Alone

**Chapter 36 – Alone**

He thought he heard it on the wind, almost like a soft whisper calling his name. It sounded so much like the woman he loved that he had to pry himself out of bed to peer out the window to see if she was out there… somewhere. But she was not there. Sighing, he gazed up, staring at the glowing sky, imagining her beautiful face in place of the rising sun, as it shone down on the forest below, giving him that special smile she gave only to him and no one else.

Richard closed his eyes and took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the crisp cool air of the early morning. He turned his back to the window and sat down on the edge of his bed. His quarters in the Palace of the Prophets were nothing but stark bare walls and simple furnishings. But at least he had a bed and a roof over his head, something he'd been lacking from the weeks it took to travel to travel to this gilded prison. Shifting, he opened the drawer on the bedside stand and took out the woodcarving he had been working on since before he had arrived. It was starting to come along nicely. He smiled at it and ran his finger down its curves, womanly in nature. In fact, they were curves very similar to a particular woman, one whom he missed dearly and wished to hold in his arms again… not to mention in his bed.

The only other person he had allowed to view his work in progress was Sister Verna. She would smile knowingly and roll her eyes, very much aware of whom the figurine he was carving represented. Richard smiled at it, took out the dagger and worked on the figure, cutting the line of her face, her cute nose and delicate jaw line. It was coming along slowly, but it was starting to look more and more like his beloved Kahlan. Pursing his lips, he brought the small wooden statuette up to his lips and kissed its tiny brow, much as he would to the woman whom was its inspiration.

Closing his eyes, his lips parted and he murmured her name: "Kahlan."

Blinking, Richard heard the sound of the latch of the door beginning to open. Just as the heavy oak door groaned opened, he managed to shove the small figurine underneath the blankets of his bed, shielding it from prying eyes. He flipped the dagger in his hands and sheathed it to his belt. His tutor, the slim petite Sister with brown hair and keen green eyes, whom he had come to know as Sister Bree, stepped in. She smiled at him, taking a deep breath which caused her chest to swell up, her small breasts bunching together underneath the strain of the tight red dress she wore; the lower neckline meant to entice him with the sight of her flesh. However, it failed to do anything but annoy him.

"Good morning, Richard," she beamed at him, her eyes drinking in the sight of him with his shirt off.

"Good morning, Sister," Richard grumbled, standing up and pulling a shirt up over his shoulders. "What lessons do you have for me today?"

"Here," she held out a small hand, giving him a piece of white chalk. "Draw the Grace for me," she instructed. "And tell me what each line, square, and circle represents."

Richard gave a nod. "Yes, Sister." This would be the fifth time Sister Bree had started his lessons with this, he was almost capable of doing it while blindfolded.

From hours of practice and study, Richard knelt before the ground and took the chalk and set to work, creating a perfect circle. "The beginning of the underworld," he said. "Out beyond this circle there is nothing. That is why the Grace begins here, because out of nothing is where Creation began." Taking the chalk, he it ran it down inside the circle, creating a square, one of each of the four points touching the outer circle. "The veil that separates the spirit world from the world of the living." Continuing, Richard drew another circle, just large enough to touch the insides of the square. "The world of life," he noted, glancing up at the Sister, before turning his attention back to the symbol.

Within the center of the of the inner circle, he drew an eight pointed star. "The star is the Light—the Creator." And lastly, he drew straight lines that radiated out from the points of the star, permeating out through both circles, every other line bisecting a corner of the square. "These lines represent the love of the Creator, sending out the gift to Her children, which penetrates all boundaries, giving hope to all of remaining within Her eternal light from birth through life and beyond the veil into the depths of the underworld."

"Very good," Sister Bree squealed, clapping her hands in delight. If she hadn't been trying so hard to look so jovial, Richard would have laughed. "I am amazed at how well you can concentrate," she added, shifting her leg out from the cut of her dress to expose a generous portion of her thigh to him.

Richard rolled his eyes. "There is very little else I can do in this place but learn about your silly drabble," he scoffed.

"Oh really?" Bree quirked up an eyebrow. "Then tell me, Richard, what is this gift that the Creator has endowed Her children with?"

"Magic… Han… whatever you want to call it," he said, standing up.

"Precisely," Bree smiled coyly, gliding up close to him. She placed a delicate finger on his chest, just above his heart. "A gift from the Creator is not something you should squandered, Richard. You should embrace it and use it, as it was meant to be used."

She pushed herself up on her toes and pursed her lips, bringing them within a hair's breath away form his. "You should stop torturing yourself with loneliness, Seeker," she purred. "It is time you allow me to share your bed during the cold nights. The tension that has grown between us must be released."

"The tension is one way," Richard said, putting his hands on her shoulders and pushing her back down, away from him. "I have no feelings for you, Sister. And I certainly do not desire to bed you."

"You do not find my attractive?" she asked, sounding slighted.

"You attractiveness has nothing to do with it," Richard said, narrowing his eyes. "My heart belongs to another."

Bree laughed. "Another, really?" she winked at him and ran her delicate hand along his arm. "If she really wanted you, then why is she not here with you? Why did she not come with you to this palace?"

Richard swallowed past the lump in his throat at the thoughts that question sparked within his mind.

"You've seen the others," Sister Bree continued. "You are not the only pupil here studying to become a wizard. They have wives and children with them. But you came alone? Why is that?"

"We were told that the Prelate wanted me to come alone, that… that she would be a distraction," Richard faltered, beginning to see the discrepancies in the things he had been told with the things he had seen. Bree was right. The other young men he had seen here, though not from the Midlands like himself, had come with lovers or wives, and sometimes even with children in toe. He was the only one with no one with him. He was alone.

Bree continued running her hand down his arm, until she reached his hand. She ran her fingers through his as he stared absently down at the Grace on the floor. Richard was vaguely aware of what she was doing, as she brought his hand up and placed it on her chest, moving his fingers across the exposed portion of her breasts.

"You are alone, Richard…," she cooed. "Let me help ease that burden."

Richard blinked and came back to reality. "No," he said firmly, pulling his hand back. "I am not alone. As long as I love her, I am not alone!"

Bree frowned and stepped back, folding her arms across her breasts. "This woman of yours," she said, sounding bitter. "She must be quite a woman to keep you leashed from such a far distance."

"A woman like you could never understand, Sister," Richard sneered, narrowing his eyes and clenching his jaw. "Now, if you don't mind, can we continue with the lessons?"

She tilted her head ever so slightly, and gave a nod. "So be it, Seeker," she spat out. "You could have made your long stay here a more enjoyable one if you had accepted by generous offer to become your bedmate." Bree pressed her slim body up against him, pushing up on her toes to look him in the eyes. "You have no idea the pleasure you have just denied yourself."

"The lessons, Sister, if you please," he spoke through gritted teeth, gazing past her head. "Or else I shall request another tutor."

"Fine!" Bree glowered, knitting her eyebrows together, and moved back. "If lessons are all you want, then lessons are all you'll get. I'm through being kind to you. You will now know only study and practice." She huffed and spun on her heels. "Come with me, Seeker. We shall go to the training yards and see how much you've improved in spell casting."


	37. Lonesome

*Wow! 200+ comments. Thank you all so much. I enjoy reading your comments. = )

* * *

**Chapter 37 – Lonesome**

The maidservants had brought her some warm stew, but Kahlan wasn't interest in it. She sat at the table in the silent dining hall, playing her spoon through the liquid, her thoughts on Zedd, Cara, and Chase. It had been nearly two weeks since they had left and there had been no word from them. She prayed to the good spirits to guide them safely across the Midlands to the Old World. Zedd had seemed confident, as if he knew where he was going. She hoped he did. Kahlan wanted him to get to Richard as quickly as possible.

It was lonely in the Confessor's Palace. Sure she had Jennsen and Ashley, but without Richard, everyday seemed like a chore. To try and fill the void of his absence, Kahlan tried diving into the work of running the Midlands. She had meetings with the council and with various dignitaries from throughout the Midlands. She had even heard rumors from the People's Palace that the Mord'Sith were becoming open to the idea of accepting Richard as the rightful heir to the throne of D'Hara. Kahlan was no sure what to think of that. She was still not used to the idea of him being a Rahl. And she knew that he'd never take that name, but would he take the title of Lord Rahl if it meant peace for the Midlands—for ALL three territories?

Growing bored with her food, Kahlan had the servants take it away. Moments later, Miss Sanderholt, the head cook, appeared with another bowl of steamy hot stew. She tut-tutted and shook her head. "Come now, Mother Confessor," she chided Kahlan like a mother would a child. "You need to eat up, you're taking care of two babes, one still within and the other screaming for her mother's milk."

Kahlan bit her lower lip and gave a nod as the head cook placed the bowl down in front of her. Kahlan picked up the spoon and opened her mouth, swallowing the warm liquid and chewing the bits of broth-soaked lamb. The seasoning and spices that had been added to the broth were well chosen, and the meal was good. Sanderholt stood by Kahlan's side and waited patiently, watching as Kahlan ate her meal to the last drop. When she had finished, the woman smiled and patted her shoulder.

"There, there, Kay, don't you feel better now?" the woman spoke, using the nickname she had used with Kahlan when she was a child.

Taking a deep breath, Kahlan felt the warmth of the meal spread throughout her body. She turned to Sanderholt and gave a nod. "Yes, Elisa," she replied, using the woman's first name. "I feel better, thank you."

"You're not alone, Kay, don't you go forgetting that," Sanderholt said reassuringly, patting Kahlan's arm, before removing the bowl and shuffling back to the kitchens.

Kahlan leaned back in the chair and stared across the room at the large tapestry that draped the opposite wall. It depicted the first Mother Confessor, Magda Searus, and the Wizard Merrit, the wizard who had used his magic to create confessors, and was Magda Searus's husband. Kahlan furrowed her brow. Merrit had known the secret of loving a confessor. He had done it himself, marrying Magda Searus and being immune to her powers. Thinking of this only made her heart ache for Richard, the only other man since Merrit to discover the way to love a confessor. She closed her eyes and ran her hand along her growing belly.

"Oh, Richard," she murmured softly to the silent room, wishing he was here. "I miss you. I… I need you. Giving birth to Ashley was hard enough knowing that she was not yours, but if I had not had you by my side, guiding me, I don't know if I could have done it and survived." She pause as tears erupted from eyes. "Oh, Richard… I… I need you. I… I can't do… do this alone."

The wind whistling outside was her only answer. Wiping the tears that had besought her, Kahlan stood, placing a hand on the edge of the ebony table for support. She was weaker than she cared to admit, having had spent almost the first two months of her pregnancy traveling across the Midlands had depleted more of her strength than she cared to admit. Walking slowly across the hall, she reached the door and pulled the latch, stepping out into the dimly lit hall. She made her way to her chambers, wanting to hold her daughter in her arms.

Jennsen was there, sitting in a whicker chair, gently rocking Ashley in her arms. She looked up when Kahlan entered.

"Is she asleep?" Kahlan inquired in a soft voice.

Jennsen nodded. "She fell asleep about ten minutes ago," she said. "Miss Sanderholt's milk formula seemed to do the trick."

Kahlan grimaced, not liking that she had been unable to feed her own child. She missed breastfeeding Ashley. It was one of the few moments she ever felt at peace. However, she had yet to produce any more milk, having been completely spent and drained by the time they had arrived in Aydindril, their travels having not been kind on her body. Besides, the new one growing inside seemed to be taking most of the nourishment, hording it for herself. Kahlan was wondering how she was going to manage to feed two greedy mouths. She supposed she was going to have to use a nursemaid, or rely on Miss Sanderholt's milk formula. Leave it to a woman who never had any children of her own to develop a formula that when mixed with warm water was similar to a mother's milk.

"I can take her with me, if you need some rest?" Jennsen offered.

"No, that's all right," Kahlan replied. "I… I'd like to spend some time with her, even if she's asleep."

Jennsen nodded and stood up carefully. She passed Ashley over to Kahlan's arms. The babe stirred and made a soft mewl yet settled in, nuzzling her mother's breast with her little mouth as she continued to slumber. Kahlan bit her lower lip and held back her tears, wishing she had milk to give her baby. Jennsen left them, and Kahlan slowly stepped over to the bed. The first thing she had the palace staff do when she got back was throw away the original mattress, sheets, and pillows. She had them burn those things.

Now that Richard and her were free to be together, she did not want anything around that reminded her of her betrayal, save for Ashley, of course. She was a reminder, but she could not help having been conceived. It had been Kahlan who had done the betrayal, not Ashley. Taking her, Kahlan eased down onto the new mattress, frowning. It was not as soft as the old one, but she had no complaints. Richard and her would make it soft. Laying her head down on the pillows, Kahlan cradled Ashley in her arms and caressed her soft little head.

Ashley had begun shedding her dark hair and was now almost completely bald. Kahlan knew that babies did not always keep the hair they had when they were born, but it was still hard to see. She knew she did not have to worry about her eyes changing color; Dragen had had blue eyes like her, and with his D'Haran blood that was not likely to change. Though the hair was another matter altogether. His D'Haran blood might spark a change in Ashley's hair color once she grew it back. Kahlan fought back the tears at that thought. She prayed hard and long that when Ashley started growing her hair again that it would be dark. If she turned out to be blonde, Kahlan did not know how she would react. It would be yet another thing that would make Ashley stand out from her sisters, besides not having the same father.

Taking a deep breath, Kahlan stroked her fingers along Ashley's smooth head and tried not to think about it. Richard would love her no matter what… he had promised. A little fist reached up and grabbed some of her hair. Kahlan smiled, and shifted onto her side, resting Ashley gently on the bed beside her. Adjusting herself, Kahlan pulled the blankets up over them, and curled up beside her sleeping babe. She kissed the infant's brow and murmured her love, before wrapping her up in her arms and closing her eyes, willing sleep to take her.


	38. In Shadows

**Chapter 38 – In Shadows**

It was night when he woke. He did not know what had stirred him from his slumber, but he was angry about it. He had been dreaming of her. Of holding her in his arms and caressing her beautiful face. Of kissing those supple lips and running his hands down her body, smiling when she moaned in pleasure at his touch. It had seemed like an eternity since he had last seen her, but in reality it had only been close to two months. Groaning, he sat up and rubbed the back of his neck, at least trying to, the Rada'Han interfered with that basic motion.

Opening the window shades, the blue hued light of the moon filtered into his room, giving him enough light to work with. He opened the drawer on the nightstand, and took out the figurine.

"Hello, beautiful," he whispered and brought it to his lips, kissing it. He was almost finished. Richard had worked long and hard at this carving, twiddling down the wood until it was smooth. He had carved her face with precision, and she looked just as he remembered her from his memories. He had given her the expression of utter joy and love that he had seen on her when they had first made love. It was a look he never wanted to forget, and he felt that it was right to immortalize it on his carving. Her womanly form was obviously apparent, but she was not nude. He had draped her in the long folds and creases of her confessor's dress. The entire carving had an organic look, resulting from him making both her dress and hair appear as it would if caught in a sudden gust of wind.

Clutching the figurine to his heart, he vowed that one day he would give it to Kahlan as proof that he never stopped loving her, showing her that he had managed to capture the spirit of her love for him in wood. Planting a soft kiss on the figurine's brow, and murmuring her name softly, Richard placed it gently back in the drawer. Reaching across to the small stool, Richard picked up his vest, and moved his hand around until he found the inside vest pocket. Finding her lock of hair, Richard pulled it out and brought it up to his nose.

Richard took a deep breath, smelling the fading scent of his beautiful Kahlan. He had done his best to preserve it, but it was fading and would soon be gone. He softly caressed the strands with his fingertips, wishing he had the owner of these strands of hair with him so that he could grip his fingers deep into her hair and pulled her to him for an impassioned embrace. Spirits, how he yearned for his Kahlan! He wanted to be with her again, as they had in the wayward pine. He wanted to feel their bodies thrive and entwine and become one through their love.

As he was putting the lock of hair back in its hiding place, Richard's ears perked up when he heard something coming from outside his window. Slowly standing up off the bed, he made his way towards the opening, and peered over the edge, looking down at the woods below. He squinted, doubting his eyes at first, but then he saw it again.

"What's she doing?" he mumbled to himself, knitting his eyebrows together.

Picking up his shirt, Richard pulled it over his shoulders and reached for his dagger. Sheathing it to his belt, he slunk out of his quarters and tiptoed down the dark hallways. Usually there were Sisters on patrol, almost like guards, ensuring that students kept to their curfews. However, Richard had found ways past them, slinking off into the night to be alone in the woods with his thoughts of Kahlan. It was the only place he could find release without being interrupted or spotted. He hated how he had grown so desperate for release, having constant thoughts of Kahlan naked in bed with him, that he had to resort to pleasuring himself. He had never done that before, always having a woman who could please him, but ever since Kahlan, he had wanted no one else but her. Sister Bree was attractive, but compared to Kahlan she was a girl, hardly worth his attention. Bree was a tiny star, and Kahlan was the large shining moon.

Finding no Sisters about, Richard frowned. This was highly unusual. Mostly there was at least one Sister on patrol throughout the palace after lights out, but not tonight. Dashing quietly through the maze of halls, Richard located the secret door he had discovered which led to a route to the outside gardens. The tunnel was damp and dark, but he had memorized the path and was soon out in the fresh night air. Taking a deep breath, he gazed up back at the palace, getting his bearings.

Seeing the window to his quarters, Richard estimated the location and direction he had seen her going. Looking around cautiously, he set out into the woods. It did not take him long to find the trail. He shook his head. She may be a sorceress, but she lacked the tack of an experienced woodsman. It was easy to follow her tracks. Trekking through the trees and brush, Richard followed the trail the Sister had left until he heard soft whisperings.

Crouching, Richard slowly crawled towards a large gnarled tree and pressed himself up against the bark. He peered over the side and glimpsed Sister Bree and two other Sisters talking in hushed voices. He narrowed his eyes, straining to make out what they were saying.

"Well? Have you bedded him yet?" a dark haired Sister asked.

"No," Bree admitted. "I've ceased my advances, they were getting me no where."

"Perhaps I should take over," the second Sister spoke. "After all, my complexion and hair color is more like that confessor."

Bree shook her head. "Not even you, Marianna, could seduce this man."

"Neville seems to like my attentions, why wouldn't this Richard?" Marianna inquired.

"He's different," Bree asked. "He's not like the other young men here. He's in love."

Marianna huffed and crossed her arms. "Then maybe Merissa is right. We should use the collar to control him."

A low laughed resounded throughout the woods. Richard tensed, and shifted, hiding behind a thick huckleberry bush. He narrowed his eyes and watched as another Sister appeared from the shadows. She had long lush rich brown hair and piercing blue eyes. Unlike her fellow Sisters, she wore a red dress that seemed to show off more of her bosom. And she walked with a commanding presence that demanded respect. An aura of authority seemed to radiate off around her. Richard furrowed his brow, he had not remembering seeing this particular Sister at any of the events or functions Sister Bree forced him into attending at the palace.

The Sister clapped her hands together and looked out at the other three with a bemused smirk on her full lips. "How little you three understand things," she said, her voice powerful.

"Sister Nicci, we were not aware that you had returned," Merissa said, bowing her head in supplication, as did Marianna and Bree.

Nicci took a slow easy breath. "The Prelate was a fool to think that sending me to the southern cities would keep me away," she replied with a spoke.

"Do you think she's suspects us?" Bree inquired, nervously.

"Annalina Aldurren?" Nicci harrumphed, chuckling. "She's as thick as that cowl she wears."

Merissa nodded, starting to look more confident. "If the Prelate suspected us, she would not have named Bree the tutor to the Seeker."

Nicci narrowed her eyes. "Yes… the Seeker," she purred out. "I've heard so much about this Richard Cypher… or is it Rahl?"

"He refuses to take the name that is his birth right," Marianna said, sounding superior. "He thinks he's better than them."

"The House of Rahl is of no consequence," Nicci said. "I care little whether he takes the throne of D'Hara or not. We are not interested in the politics of the New World."

"If they are of no consequence, then why has our master chosen Darken Rahl as his speaker?" Merissa inquired.

"Darken Rahl is of no importance," Nicci asserted with a wave of her hand. "He is but a puppet. He is nothing without the Keeper."

Richard tensed at the mention of the ruler of the Underworld. It had nearly been half a year since he had closed the rift and he had thought that that battle was over. However, it appeared he had been mistaken. He knitted his eyebrows together as he glanced back out at the clearing, looking at these women in a new light. Perhaps these were the mysterious sorceresses who served the Keeper. They hid in plain sight amongst the Sisters of the Light, who worshiped and followed the path of the Creator. And since they chose a different path, one that led to the Keeper, then these sorceresses must be Sisters of the Dark, not the Light.

"But we wander off topic," Nicci said, clasping her hands together in front of her. "We are here to discuss what is to be done with this Richard Cypher."

"He will not sleep with me," Bree informed Nicci, who was obviously the leader of this little band of Keeper worshipers. "And I doubt he'd sleep with any other Sisters who is part of our cause."

"Yes, I know," Nicci sneered. "He's infatuated with some confessor from the north."

"The Mother Confessor to be precise," Marianna said.

"Yes," Merissa nodded. "Kahlan Amnell."

"Lovely name," Nicci said, smiling amusingly. "I'm sure she's very enchanting and beautiful, most confessor's are. It's part of the reason why so many men fear them. They're like black widows. They entice you with their beauty, but if you kiss them, you die." She laughed at her metaphor. "Obviously, this Richard Cypher has found a way past the deadly grip of confession."

"From what Sister Verna reported to the Prelate, they two are very much in love," Bree said. "I had hoped I would be tempting to him, being younger than this confessor."

Nicci stepped forward and placed a hand on Bree's cheek. "Because of your youth, you lack wisdom, Sister Bree," she purred. "To him, you must appear a girl wanting desperately to be a woman. This Kahlan Amnell may not have confessed him, but she owns his heart, that much is for certain."

"Well, then what do we do?" Merissa hissed. "How do we gain control of his Han, if we cannot control him?"

A thin twisted smile grew upon Nicci's face. "Simple," she spoke, barely in a whisper. Richard had to strain his ears to pick it up. "We take it from him."

"How do we do that?" Bree questioned, looking confused.

"Leave that to me, Sister Bree," Nicci smiled. She raised a perfect eyebrow. "I shall have him eating out of my palm by week's end."

Richard rolled his eyes, like that was ever going to happen. He decided it was time for him to go, before he got caught. He had learned enough to know to expect something from this Sister Nicci, so he had time to prepare. Slinking back through the woods, Richard pondered what exactly they were going to do to help relieve him of his Han. Over the past couple of weeks, under Sister Bree's tutelage, he had thought he was improving. He could summon simple spells and was learning to meditate, which was one of the few things he seemed to be excelling in. He smirked to himself. It was really not that hard for him to meditate and relax. All he had to do was picture Kahlan's smile and he'd reach bliss.

However, the harder part about meditating was "connecting with his Han," as Bree called it. She had had difficultly explaining that one to him, so Verna had to be called in to help. He trusted Verna a little more than the other Sisters, so he had listened to her. Now he was wondering if Sister Verna was part of this other group, these Sisters of the Dark. Had she known all along that his strength was Kahlan and that depriving him of her was what weakened him? Richard wondered about that. What if Kahlan had come with him? Would he have already mastered his Han?

As his thoughts wandered and roamed, the Seeker made his way back to the Palace of the Prophets and snuck back inside, using the same route he had when he had slipped out to witness the clandestine meeting of the Sisters of the Dark. Walking through the dark halls, he found himself wondering how many of his fellow students had been seduced by these Sisters loyal to the Keeper. Would he have to fight them, or even kill them to escape?

Back in his room, Richard paced back and forth, trying to come up with a plan of attack. Even though he had an escape route, he had never taken it. Sure he had wanted to escape this dastardly place since the moment he first walked through the doors, but he wanted the Rada'Han off, and to do that, he needed to learn to use his Han… to control it. That required him to remain and study here in the palace under the guidance of the Sisters of the Light. Growing tired of his pacing, he slumped down onto his bed and reached over to his vest, which was still where he had left it.

He pulled out Kahlan's lock of hair and fiddle with it in the darkness, loving the silkiness of her strands. If only she was here, he could have asked her advice and counsel. Despite everything that had happened, and her forcing him to put the collar on, Richard still valued her wisdom and knowledge, not to mention her love. Well, he craved the latter and could not live without it, but that was a different story.

Tonight, as he caressed her silky dark strands, Richard tried to imagine he was speaking with his beloved Kahlan, listening to her reasoning and guidance as to how to handle this situation. He smirked and laughed slightly, thinking that she would probably tell him to speak with Zedd, and she would be correct, of course. Zedd would know what to do. Spirits, how he missed his grandfather! He wished he hadn't left him so abruptly in Aydindril all those months ago. Zedd had tried to tell him that things were not over between him and Kahlan, but he had been too thick to understand, something which seemed to come natural to him.

Leaning back against the pillows, he clutched his memento of his love to his chest, thinking of her and his family. He hoped Ashley was doing okay. Kahlan was a good mother, but she so obviously needed his help in dealing with the baby. Richard paused in his thoughts, his jaw dropping in amazement. He did not know when it had happened, but somewhere along the line he had truly started thinking of Ashley as _his_ daughter. The fact that she shared no blood with him had been forgotten. Inhaling deeply and feeling a smile coming on, Richard raised his memento of Kahlan before his eyes and caressed the strands delicately with his fingertips.

"She's mine, Kahlan," he whispered softly, still reeling from his sudden epiphany of his true thoughts and feelings. "Not by blood, but by heart. I was the one who helped her come into this world, and I was the one who cared for her when you would not. Ashley is as much mine as she is yours. I love her. And I will love her just as much as I will love our other daughters." He pulled Kahlan's locks to his lips and kissed them, not doubting for a second the words he had just uttered to the empty room or the assertion that he and Kahlan would have children. "Take care of her, my Kahlan. I will come back to you… to both of you. Just give me a little more time… some things have develop that I think needs the Seeker's attention." He paused and brought Kahlan's locks closer to his lips. "I love you, Kahlan Amnell."

After giving his memento of his love one last kiss, he returned it to its hiding place. Richard turned onto his side and closed his eyes, trying to sleep so that he would be well rested for the day ahead of him.

* * *

*Nicci is really a blonde, and I will always imagine her as such, but since Jolene Blalock (a brunette) played the first incarnation of Nicci in the TV show, before Emily Foxler took over, I have chosen to represent Nicci as such in this story.


	39. Family

**Chapter 39 – Family**

Kahlan did not know why, but that morning she woke with an overwhelming sense of being loved. And not just any love, but the love that a certain man, who wielded a certain magical sword, always showed her with the look in his eyes or when he held her in his arms and kissed her. The love he showed her when he made love to her. It was like a warm blanket that coated her entire being and refused to fall from her as she sat up. She felt lightheaded and she felt an odd sensation that felt vaguely like someone caressing her hair, almost in the very spot where she had so desperately cut off a large clump to give to her love as a memento, as something to remember her by. She reached up and gently brushed her fingertips along the hair that had grown in to replace that which had been given. As she did so, she felt a tingle on her lips, like faint kisses from long ago. Bringing a hand up to her mouth, she smiled faintly, just knowing in her heart that wherever he was, he was thinking of her and loving her from afar.

Then, a sudden feeling seemed to kick her insides and Kahlan yelped, looking down at her enlarged belly. Her faint smile grew wider as she ran her fingers along the swell of her belly, feeling the light and soft kicks of the child within as she moved above. Basking in the feeling of love she felt, and of the knowledge that his child was growing inside her, Kahlan laughed lightly, hugging herself, feeling more refreshed and calm that she had in many months.

It had been almost a month since the others had departed and she felt for sure that they should be arriving at their destination soon. Her Richard would then be on his way back to her. Zedd would see to that. It was in his rights as a Wizard of the First Order to claim Richard as a pupil and take him from the Sisters of the Light. She knew from her time in Aydindril before the war with D'Hara that young wizards had apprenticed with the older wizards. But none had had such a wizard as Zedd as a tutor. Sure, there were wizards who claimed to be of the First Order, but everyone knew that they were not. Claiming to be a Wizard of the First Order and being one were entirely different things. And Zedd _was_ a Wizard of the First Order. He could go toe to toe with those blasted Sisters of the Light and bring her Richard back to her.

Hearing a soft mewl, Kahlan maneuvered herself of the bed, finding it was becoming much more difficult to climb off the bed and stand than it had a couple of weeks ago. She was growing heavier with child by the week, and was fast approaching her last trimester. Just two or three more weeks and she would be on the final leg of her pregnancy. She bit her lower lip and grimaced as she pushed herself up, clutching her belly with one hand and putting the other on her back as she stood.

"Don't worry, mommy's coming," Kahlan murmured to the crying infant.

Shuffling across the floor, covering the distance between them, Kahlan bent over the crib and pulled Ashley into her arms. The little confessor quieted the second she was at her mother's breast. Kahlan turned and waddled over to the wicker chair that sat beside the crib, and sat down, huffing slightly. Spirits, this child seemed heavier than Ashley was at this stage in its development. Smiling down at her little babe, Kahlan adjusted the flaps of her blouse and pulled out one of her milk heavy breasts.

She had been good and eaten more, taking much better care of herself than she had when they had returned to Aydindril. Kahlan had wanted to feed her daughter herself, detesting the idea of having to rely on a nursemaid or Sanderholt's special milk formula. Ashley happily suckled, her little hands grabbing at her mother's breast as she fed. Kahlan sighed and smiled down at her daughter, brushing her hair through the light fuzz that was growing in, replacing the dark mass of hair with a lighter color. It appeared that Ashley was going to be a blonde. It brought some pain to her heart to see the light strands growing out, but she could not blame Ashley for her biological make up. Though both her parents had blue eyes, Kahlan felt that Ashley's coloring looked more like hers than Dragen's. That brought her some comfort.

A knock came from the door, startling her from her thoughts. "Yes?" she tentatively called out.

"It's me," came Jennsen's voice.

"Come in," she called.

The door opened and Jennsen ducked in, holding a platter of food. She looked up at Kahlan and stopped, seeing Kahlan sitting there with her blouse opened. She averted her eyes and her face blushed almost the same red color as her hair.

"I'm sorry, I'll come back," Jennsen stammered out in embarrassment.

"No, it's all right, come in," Kahlan said, welcoming the company. Jennsen was Richard's sister, and simply by being that, she was, in a way, Kahlan's sister as well.

Jennsen turned back around, but kept her eyes averted as she came over and placed the tray of food down on the table besides the wicker chair. Kahlan smiled and laughed inwardly at Jennsen's shyness.

"Please, sit and stay awhile," she said, gesturing to the other wicker chair.

The pristinely ungifted bit her lower lip and her brow furrowed, but she took the offer and sat down hesitantly, folding her hands in her lap. "Does it hurt?" she asked, glanced up before quickly looking away.

"What?" Kahlan knitted her eyebrows together, confused by the question.

"Uh…," Jennsen visibly blushed. "I was just wondering…. I… I mean… um… breastfeeding, that is…" her voice trailed off as she flushed all the more in apprehension.

"No, not really," Kahlan suppressed a laugh. "In a way, it's kind of soothing."

Jennsen gave a nod and looked away, anxiously playing with her hands in her lap. Kahlan narrowed her eyes and she watched the woman, who had helped take care of Ashley since they had left Westland, fidget with nervousness. She reached across the gap between them and placed a reassuring hand on Jennsen's arm.

"There is no reason to be nervous, Jennsen," she said. "You are like family… no… you _are_ family." Kahlan paused and nodded, feeling confident in that statement. "Richard said as much. He was going to marry me, you know."

Jennsen gave a nod and the hints of a smile began to form on her unease looking face. "He… he never stopped loving you," she said, looking away. "Even when he'd thought you had lost you to… to that other man."

Kahlan nodded. "I thought I had lost him as well," she admitted, feeling her throat constrict with the unwanted feelings that surged back in her as she remembered the anguish and pain on his face when he had seen her swollen belly upon his return to Aydindril. He had looked so triumphant, flushed with his victory over the Keeper. All that had drowned in a sea of misery and despair when his eyes saw her belly, knowing what it meant.

Added on to that was the look of hurt and shock that covered his handsome features when she had ordered him to put the Rada'Han on his neck. Part of her had been amazed that he had done it. In some ways, despite being immune to her magic, Richard almost still acted like he had been confessed by her. He could never refuse an order she gave. Never. Yet not because he was confessed, but because he loved her. She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes, fighting back the tears that threatened to erupt from all the emotions those memories called forth.

"I'm sorry, I've upset you...," Jennsen mumbled, noticing Kahlan's tenuous grip on her emotions.

"No," Kahlan managed to gasp out, keeping the tears at bay. "It's all right. The past is the past, and it was my own doing, not yours… or Richard's."

"He'll come back to you," Jennsen proclaimed with conviction. "I don't claim to know him as well as anyone else, but he is my brother and I feel like I've come to understand him. The love I see in his eyes when he looks at you… or even when he just thinks or speaks of you… well, it is a love that I wish I shall one day earn from a man. It is a devotional kind of love, one that never seems to fade, even with all the hardship and barriers that sprouted up between you two. He never stopped loving you, and I believe, with all my heart, that he will love you for the rest of his life."

Kahlan bit her lower lip, fighting back the urge to weep with joy at what Jennsen had just said. It was almost like her feeling of being loved when she woke up was being confirmed by a blood relative of the man she loved, of the man who's child she was carrying within.

"Oh, Jennsen," Kahlan murmured. "Thank you… It means so much to me to hear you say that. I pray to the spirits that you are right, that I have not permanently damaged that love by sending him away."

Jennsen quirked up an eyebrow. "We're you not listening, Kahlan?" she asked, looking bemused, and finally seeming to be as ease. "Richard loves you with all his heart, and always well. Nothing you do will ever change that." She paused and laughed lightly. "You would not believe the endless nights I had to endure hearing him lament over his undying love for you." Jennsen reached over and patted Kahlan's arms. "Do not worry, my brother will find a way back to you… and his children."

"Children?" Kahlan gasped, perplexed.

"Yes," Jennsen nodded. "Richard told me that even though Ashley is not his by blood, he loves her as if she were his own."

Kahlan's heart warmed with love for that stubborn man. Richard was the kindest, most gentle, and generous man she had ever met. He just would not give up. And she knew that Jennsen was right. Richard had told her that much as well, but she was not sure if he truly meant that… at least, not until now. To hear that he had even expressed such feelings to his own sister made Kahlan know, for sure, that he had meant every word of what he had said. She shook her head at how silly she was. Richard always said what he meant. He was the Seeker, and he only dealt with the truth. He had not been built for deception or deceit. All he knew was honesty and justice. Richard was, as Zedd had often proclaimed, the one true Seeker.

But he was more than just that. He was the man she loved. The man, who despite everything she had done to destroy that love, still loved her. Richard was her world, and she would gladly suffer whatever punishment the spirits deemed appropriate to get him back.

"Ooo!" Kahlan exclaimed, moving a hand to her belly.

"What is it? Are you hurt?" Jennsen looked concerned.

"No, not at all," she smiled, reassuringly, taking a hold of Jennsen's hand and pulling it over, placing her opened palm on her swollen belly. "Do you feel her kicking?"

Jennsen gave a soft smile and giggled, nodding her head. "She's definitely Richard's, there's no question about that."

As if she could sense the attention waning from her, Ashley let go of her mother's breast and let out a shrill cry. Kahlan laughed. "Looks like the competition for my attention as already begun." She covered herself and began rocking Ashley in her arms, softly humming a lullaby her mother had hummed to her when she was a child. As she soothed her daughter, Kahlan's mind soon brought her back to Richard, and she silently prayed to the good spirits to deliver him safely back to her, unharmed and whole. She was bursting with the need to tell him of her condition and of the family that they were beginning to build. A family that apparently, according to Jennsen and from Richard's own words, she had had all along, yet had not been clearheaded enough to see.


	40. Nightmare

**Chapter 40 – Nightmare**

He could feel her presence. He knew she was there. In the dark she waited, her lips quivering in fear. What she was afraid of, he did not know. All he knew was that she was terrified and needed him. Flailing around in the dark, he searched for his sword, but try as he might, he could not find it. Then he remembered, he had given it to her, he did not have it. A piercing malicious laugh filled the air and he looked up, cringing in horror when he saw the red robes of the Sister appear before him, cutting him off from his beloved.

"Richard!" he heard her cry out for him, her voice laced with alarm.

Panic gripped him as he realized he could not move. Something was holding him back, keeping him from his beloved. It tugged at him, digging into his neck. He reached up and his fingers wrapped around the cold metal of the Rada'Han. He screamed out in rage and tried to pull it off him, but it was seamless with no hinges or cracks. There was no key and no keyhole. He watched in terror as the flowing robes of the Sister of the Dark floated towards his beloved.

"KAHLAN!" he reached out with a hand, trying desperately to grab his love, but he could not. She was too far away.

There was a flash of light and a three-pronged bladed weapon appeared in the sorceress's hand. She was fast approaching Kahlan and there was nothing he could do but watch in horror as with a twitch of her wrist the Sister cut Kahlan's throat, severing her windpipe.

"NO!" he wailed as blood gushed from the horrid wound and soak the white dress his beloved wore. "NO! KAHLAN!"

Tears poured down his face as he watched in utter misery, seeing that once vibrant face turn deathly pale. Her brilliant eyes focused on him and then, in the blink of an eye, she was gone. He cried out and his entire body rocked with the torment at what his eyes were witnessing. His confessor fell dead in front of his eyes and there was nothing he could do to save her. He had failed her.

The wails of a babe could be heard and Richard tore his eyes away from the horrid sight of his beloved to see a baby with a fuzz of blonde hair on her head, wrapped in swaddling clothes, screaming and crying, her face turning red. Unable to do anything but watch, Richard cried out as with a swift motion the Sister slashed down with her three bladed weapon and silenced the infant forever.

"Ashley! NO!" Richard sobbed, his chest heaving as the last of his world had been snatched away from him. He struggled to move, reaching out for Kahlan, wanting desperately to hold her in his arms and kiss her one last time before the end

In a swirl of red silk, the sorceress turned on him, and he finally saw the veiled face of the one who had killed the woman he loved and the child, if not by blood, was his by everything that was just and good in this world. He screamed at her in a rage, struggling against the invisible bonds the held him, swearing undying hatred and vengeance upon her. The red veil fell away and he gasped in horror when it was no longer a Sister of the Dark who stood before him, but himself.

"NO!" Richard screamed as he jolted awake, sitting up and screaming up at the ceiling. His chest heaved and he was drenched in sweat. Grabbing his head in his hands and closing his eyes as the tears came pouring out, he shuddered, alone in the dark.

This had been the first nightmare he had had since he had left Westland. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, Richard pulled himself up, sucking in deep breaths. He clenched his jaw and looked out at the rising dawn. His head ached with the horrible images that had came to him in his sleep, and he did not know how to comprehend their meaning, especially the last part. Why would the Sister of the Dark turn into him? He could never do anything to harm Kahlan or Ashley. He loved them both so much. They were his family, his whole world.

Richard rested a hand against the windowsill and gazed out at the world beyond the palace walls. He racked his fingers through his disheveled hair, his entire being still reeling from the terrible nightmare. He prayed to the good spirits that it was just that and not some terrible premonition. It was nerve racking not knowing what was going on beyond these walls. But with this latest nightmare, he was starting to suspect that Kahlan was in some sort of danger, and that it was the Sisters that kept him from her. Which Sisters, he did not know. It could be either, the Light and the Dark.

Narrowing his eyes, and taking a calming breath, he decided that he was going to have to start planning his escape sooner rather than later. He'd grown weary of the waiting for the Sisters of the Dark to make their move. It had been over two weeks since he had seen their little clandestine meeting in the forest at night and there had been no sign that they were up to anything. Sister Bree had, of course, grown cold and bitter towards him. But that could just be because he rejected her sexual advances. He wondered if she considered it a personal failure that she had failed to seduce him. Anyways, it was an impossible task for her to begin with. There was only one woman that could possibly seduce him, and she was not here.

As he ruminated over the plans being drawn up around him by both Sister of the Light and Dark alike, the sun steadily rose higher into the sky. When the bells started to chime, signaling that morning meal was ready, Richard decided that today was going to be his last day in this accursed prison. By midday, he would be gone. He'd go to Aydindril and seek Zedd's help with the Rada'Han. Surely a Wizard of the First Order could teach him to control his Han. Then, he'd seek out his beloved and make her his all over again. He sighed as he got dressed, missing her deeply.

Pulling on his vest jacket, he checked the inner breast pocket to ensure that her lock of hair was still there. He knelt before the bedside stand and opened the drawer, taking out the figurine he had carved and had finished not long ago.

"Ah, my beloved Kahlan," he murmured. "Today I will begin my journey back to you, my love." Richard pressed his lips to the small smooth forehead of the figure that resembled his beloved, before tucking it into his other vest pocket. He grabbed the dagger and sheathed it to his belt. Standing up, he looked around at the place that had been his home for the past two months. Smirking, he knew he was not going to miss this place one bit.

XXX

Richard stepped into the dining hall, walking causally over to the serving line and waited patiently for his turn. He looked out at all the Sisters and students, some of them with their families, as they ate their morning meals. He could see Sister Bree sitting up on the dais talking with Sisters Marianna and Merissa. As if she could feel his gaze, her keen green eyes glanced up and for a moment, their eyes locked. Richard was sure that they were no doubt scheming something, but he no longer cared.

After being served his food, Richard wandered the tables, trying to seek out a place of solitude to eat his breakfast. However, fate, it seemed, was not going to grant him some peace and silence.

"Oy! Richard, over here!" a man with unruly red hair hollered, standing up and waving his arms wildly in the air.

Richard suppressed a roll of his eyes and smirked. Seeing who it was, he decided he could avoid the solitude he had wanted in favor of some company. Besides, he needed some cheering up after his awful nightmare. Making his way through the tables, Richard arrived and sat down, placing his platter of food before him.

"Good morning, Simon," Richard said with a nod. Out of all the other students here at the Palace of the Prophets, Simon was the only one he could call a friend. And he felt confident that Simon was one of the few he could trust, because unlike the other young men his age, Simon had a wife, Shannon, who had accompanied him to the palace. So, in other words, he could not be seduced by any of the Sisters.

"You look like you didn't get a good night's rest," Simon chuckled. "Did you finally relent to Sister Bree or something? I notice you looking at her when you came in."

"What? No," Richard grumbled, shaking his head.

Shannon, who had long red hair, like her husband, but seemed better at maintaining hers than he was of his, gave her husband a playful smack on the arm. This morning she was wearing her crimson hair in a way that reminded Richard of Jennsen. "Simon, you dog! Remember, he's got a woman waiting for him back home," she chided her husband.

Simon nodded. "Yes, yes, I remember," he said, a grin plastered on his face. "Kahlan is her name, right?"

Richard inclined his head, smiling. "Yes… Kahlan," he paused in his eating, his spoon stopping somewhere halfway between the platter and his mouth. Just saying her name brought a smile to his face. His friends recognized it and laughed. He blushed and quickly went back to devouring his breakfast.

"Sister Wilma says I'm learning quickly," Simon spoke up, reaching over the table to hold his wife's hand. "She told me just yesterday that soon I'll be able to remove the Rada'Han and have enough control over my Han to not have to worry about those lethal headaches. Then, Shannon and I can finally be able to leave the dormitory and purchase a house in the city."

Shannon smiled demurely. "And hopefully start that family we've been talking about."

Simon's grin widened. "Oh, you bet, my love," he leaned over and kissed her.

Richard watched with a sorrowful expression, wishing that Kahlan were here. He was still beating himself over the head at how naïve he had been when he had first arrived here and had not noticed how all the other students had loved ones with them. Simon and Shannon had only arrived two months prior to Richard, and Simon was already approaching the period where the Sisters would let him move out of the student quarters.

When he had finally taken note of all the other students that had loved ones with them, Richard had sought out the only Sister of the Light he felt he could trust, Verna, and questioned her about that. She informed him that it was the Prelate's decision to bring him and him alone. When he asked her about those that lived outside the palace walls and in the city, Verna looked at him with a raised eyebrow and smirked, telling him that if he wanted to leave the dormitory and live in the city that he was going to have to study harder. He was learning at a slower pace as it was, and she told him flat out that he was a long way away from reaching the point in his training when they would allow him to live outside the palace walls.

Richard recognized that he was indeed learning at a slower pace compared to the others, and part of him was beginning to suspect that it was because he did not have the support of his loved ones, like all the rest of the students had. After a long day of study and practice, Simon was able to go back to Shannon and relieve some of the stress of the day with her, while Richard went back to an empty room and a cold bed, alone. Richard reckoned that if he had Kahlan and Ashley waiting for him back in his quarters after a long day of training, that he would be further along and almost ready to remove the blasted Rada'Han from around his neck.

Pulling back from one another, Simon and Shannon glanced back at Richard and looked apologetic. "I'm sorry," she said, knitting her eyebrows together, noticing his sorrowful expression. "Sometimes we forget how lonely you are."

He forced a smile, and shook his head. "At least I have friends like you to keep me company when I'm not being hounded by Sister Bree in lessons."

Simon nodded. "That you do, Richard," he slapped him on the back.

Sharp and sure footsteps echoed throughout the dining hall. Richard could hear those footsteps even over the din and clamor of all the talking people. His ears perked up as he heard the footfalls stop right behind him. Turning his head, he glanced over his shoulder. His eyes grew wide, but he did his best to hide his expression. Gazing down at him with pierce blue eyes was Sister Nicci. So, she was finally going to make her move.

She gave a polite smile. "Richard Cypher?"

"Yes?" Richard inquired, looking up at her. He narrowed his eyes, wondering what Sister Nicci was up to. He knew that there was something, he could tell by the glint in her eyes.

"The Prelate would like to see you, Richard Cypher. Come with me."


	41. A Seeker's Escape

**Chapter 41 – A Seeker's Escape**

He narrowed his eyes and glared at the back of her head as he followed her out of the dining hall and away from his friends. Richard highly doubted that Nicci was going to take him to the Prelate or that the Prelate had even sent for him. He suspected that this was to be the moment that the Sister of the Dark made her move. Leading the way, Nicci took him out into the hallways. They walked in silence, the only sounds coming from the clicks of their footsteps against the stone floor.

Richard slowly breathed through his nose, trying to calm the storm within. He wanted so much to just lash out of Nicci and knock her out. But he needed to know what she was planning. If not for himself, then for Kahlan. Because of his nightmare, he feared that the woman he loved might be in danger from these Sisters of the Dark, and that they were planning on using him as their instrument.

They turned a corner and continued on down the dark passageways. Nicci looked over her shoulder at him and a twisted smile formed on her lips. Richard narrowed his eyes, slowly inching his hands towards his dagger, expecting the worse. She turned and opened a door, and paused at the threshold. Tilting her head ever so slightly, she looked at him with her piercing blue eyes.

"After you, Richard Cypher," she smiled, pushing her chest out, trying to entice him to look down at her cleavage. He laughed inwardly and shook his head. It was not going to work. The only breasts he would ever openly stare at… and admire, belonged to Kahlan, and certainly not this evil sorceress.

Gritting his teeth, and keeping a hand on the hilt of his dagger, he stepped through the door and into a dark room. The only light came from behind him, and it was soon gone, when Nicci stepped in after him and closed the door. Suddenly engulfed by darkness, Richard began to breathe heavier, remembering how his nightmare had begun, with him surround by darkness. Had they abducted Kahlan? Was his nightmare coming true?

And then, just as sudden as the light went out, new light sprang to life. Balls of glowing white light appeared in the palms of Sisters, all standing in a semi-circle around the room, illuminating the room. He recognized Sisters Bree, Merissa, and Marianna. And then he gasped when he saw Sister Grace and Sister Elizabeth. He would never have guessed that they were Sisters of the Dark. A sharp malicious laugh rose up behind him and he cringed, remembering his dream. Nicci swept out in front of him, her red robes flowing around her.

"You knew I was not taking you to the Prelate, yet, you came," a cruel smile formed on her lips when he nodded in the affirmative. "Then why did you follow?"

"I think you know why, Sister Nicci," he said, gritting his teeth.

She threw her head back and laughed. "Well, we're about to see if you are as smart as the Prelate and Sister Verna seem to think you are." And then, before he could do anything, Sister Nicci pounded him in the forehead with her palm and everything went blank.

XXX

Blinking his eyes, Richard groaned and placed a hand on his forehead. A crash arose around him, flames and shouts filled the room, and the red robes of the Sisters of the Dark burst into light. He felt hands on him and thought he recognized the voice as they called his name. Within moments he was being pulled out of the room as a woman with long blonde hair—Cara! It was Cara!—twirled two red rods in her hands and rammed them against Sister Nicci's chest. Nicci cried out and fell down to the stone floor.

Before he knew it, he was being turned around and came face to face with the person holding him up. It was Chase. He blinked, trying to get his bearings, but he was still too stunned from the hit on the head to know what was going on. He heard a familiar voice and he spotted a tall man with long unruly grey hair raising his hands and shouting some spell. The walls seemed to melt around them as Cara darted back to join them. Within moments they were no longer within the confines of the Palace of the Prophets and were somewhere outside in the woods.

"Quickly, get him on a horse!" Zedd shouted as he whistled, summoning three horses to their location.

Chase helped Richard up onto one of the horse, and then climbed up behind him. Holding on to him, Chase kicked his legs, sending his mount galloping away. Richard was vaguely aware what was going on, but he could hear the others mounting their horses and following.

"It's all right, Richard," came Chase's voice in his ear. "We're here to save you. Kahlan sent us to get you. The Seeker is needed back in Aydindril."

Richard gave a groggy nod, wanting nothing more than to return to his beloved. He was still dazed from the hit, and passed out. When he came too, they were treading through a rocky terrain that he recognized. He blinked and looked around, seeing that he was on a different horse, and that Cara was the one holding him. He could feel her breasts pressing up against his back and her arm around his waist as she held him tightly.

"You're awake?" her voice called into his ear.

"Yes," he wheezed out, grimacing. "How long was I out?"

"Almost three days," she replied. "The wizard thinks it has something to do with what Sister Nicci was in the process of doing to you. They had a quillion out on the ground and it appeared that they were trying to sap you of your magic. Zedd put a stop to it, of course, and I made that sorceress pay for harming you."

Richard nodded, and groaned, reaching up to rub his forehead. There was a large bump there and it ached to the touch. He heard the snort of another horse and turned his head to see the wizard encourage his mount up along theirs.

"Oh my, you're awake," Zedd frowned, and then quickly grinned. "Not that I'm not pleased to see my grandson, but whatever it was that that bloody sorceress was doing to you sapped you of a lot of your energy. I'm afraid I'm going to have to put you back to sleep. Perhaps for a couple more days until your body, along with my magic, can heal you."

Richard knitted his eyebrows together, but gave a nod, relenting his grandfather's advice. Cara pulled the reins on their horse and brought it to a stop as Zedd maneuvered his closer. Placing a hand on Richard's forehead, he began to mumble the words to the spell. Richard felt a warm tingling sensation in his head, and began to feel drowsy. A yawn pushed its way forth and his eyelids felt heavy as his shoulders slumped, hearing the call for sleep.

As he began to fall asleep he overheard Cara and Zedd speaking, but about what, he could not say. "Should we have told him?" she asked.

"No," Zedd replied in a hushed voice, though Richard could still hear him. "He needs to concentrate on regaining his strength. Let him be blissfully oblivious to the outer world right now. Let him rest."

XXX

Opening his eyes, Richard let out a gasp when he saw that they were no longer in the woods, but riding through the streets of a city. It did not take him long to recognized where they were, because up in the distance, gleaming and shining in the midmorning sun was the Confessor's Palace, and looming behind it, in the shadow of the mountains, was the Wizard's Keep. He sat up, feeling the softness of Cara's breasts press up against him as he straightened his back.

"How long?" he inquired.

"About a week," he could tell by the sound of her voice that the Mord'Sith was smirking. "I've been tending to you just like I did when you let down your guard and got bit by that gar… remember that?"

Richard nodded, vaguely remembering the incident from their quest for the Stone of Tears. They had gone to the Fire Spring, following a lead, only to find that the place crawling with gars. He had let his guard down for only a second and one of those nasty things came up behind him and bit his shoulder. Zedd promptly destroyed the thing with his Wizard's Fire, but some venom had punctured his skin and gotten into his blood. He had been paralyzed for almost a week as Zedd went off to collect the appropriate herbs to brew an antidote. His magic could stop the spread of the venom, but could not cure it.

As he focused back to the present, Richard attempted to swallow, but his throat was dry. "Water?" he asked, coughing slightly.

Cara adjusted her hold on him, and her hand left his waist for only a brief moment, returning to its secure hold after she handed him a waterskin. He popped the stopper and drank greedily. Water dripped down his chin and sprinkled down on his shirt. Feeling better, he placed the stopper back on and tucked the waterskin into his vest jacket.

Zedd rode out in front of them and Chase was following behind. Cara held on to him tightly as she stirred the horse around the corner, coming up through the marketplace into the central square before the Confessor's Palace. Richard looked up and saw a lone figure standing on a far up balcony draped in white. He knew it was her. A small smile touched his lips as he thought of holding her in his arms again and kissing her.

Cara pulled their horse to a stop just in front of the steps. She dismounted, and then held out a hand to help him. He scoffed at the idea, but then as his head started to spin as he made a move to dismount, he swallowed his pride and accepted her assistance. Richard was not going to allow a little thing like pride to delay his reunion with the woman he loved more than life itself.

"Richard," Zedd pushed over, his weathered face creased with more lines than an old parchment. "I need to tell you something."

"Can it wait, Zedd?" Richard groaned, steadying himself as he looked up towards the great big doors of the Confessor's Palace. "I… I have to see her."

Zedd opened his mouth to protest, but Richard was already on his way up the stairs. Cara was immediately after him, shouting. "Richard, wait, you should listen to Zedd!" she called up behind him.

Richard ignored them as he bounded up the stone steps, his heart pounding profoundly beneath his chest as he made his way to the doors. With a great groan and some creaking noises, the large double doors yawned opened to reveal the grand marble foyer of the Confessor's Palace. Large columns lined the hall surrounded by statues and other ornaments to denote the magnificence of the previous Mother Confessors. His eyes scanned the hall, searching for her. Then his eyes drifted up to the grand staircase, and he saw her, slowly stepping down the steps, her belly large and swollen near bursting.

"Kahlan!" his brow furrowed.

She looked up at him and paused. Her eyebrows knitted together and her nose wrinkled in the most adorable little way, but all he could do was stare at her enlarged belly. Spirits, she was with child… again! His mind reeled with déjà vu. He was lightheaded and stunned, but then he shook it off. Richard made a move to go to her, when he suddenly stopped, seeing a man step out of the shadows and climb up the stairs to greet her. Kahlan greeted the man with a warm smile and accepted his hand.

Richard narrowed his eyes and looked at him. It was Dragen! But… but that was impossible. Kahlan had told him that he'd been killed. He heard giggling laughter and two blonde girls, about four or five years of age came darting out from behind one of the columns running up to Kahlan and Dragen as they reached the marble floor.

Dragen picked up the younger of the two and held her as she wrapped her arms around his neck for support. The other one clutched at Kahlan's legs as the Mother Confessor looked up at the Seeker, her blue eyes brilliant, as always.

"I did not think I would see you again," she said.

"Kahlan," Richard stammered, his jaw dropping. "What's this?"

"Perhaps I should leave," Dragen said, looking back at Kahlan.

"No, its all right, you can stay," Kahlan said, giving him a soft smile and squeezing his hand. She turned back to Richard and rested her hands on her swollen belly. "Richard… it's been close ten years since you left with the Sisters of the Light."

"No," he shook his head, not wanting to believe it.

"It has, my boy," came Zedd's voice. Richard turned around and looked back to see the wizard, Cara, and Chase enter the hall. He squinted at them and for the first time recognized that they all did indeed look older. Chase had some wrinkles under his eyes and around his mouth, and his hair was turning a peppery grey. Even Cara had some fine wrinkles, and her hair was much longer and she wore it in the Mord'Sith fashion. And Zedd… well Zedd looked very more ancient than he already had. He almost looked like a skeleton wearing skin.

"Ten years!" Richard sucked in a breath. "But… but I'm still… how?"

"The Palace of the Prophets has an aging spell placed on it, my boy," Zedd answered stepping closer.

"I wanted to tell you," huffed Cara crossing her arms over her breasts. "But the wizard thought it best to keep you blissful ignorant for a while longer."

Zedd shrugged. "I did not expect my sleeping spell to put you to rest for so long," he explained, looking apologetic. "I had hoped on waking you earlier and informing you of this long before we arrived."

Richard knitted his eyebrows together and clenched his jaw, turning back to Kahlan and looking at her again. She had, indeed, aged, but unlike his grandfather, she had aged gracefully. Though she was no longer the vibrant woman in her early twenties. If he had to guess, she was in her mid-thirties. He narrowed his eyes as he saw Dragen place an arm around Kahlan's shoulder, seeing how she eased into his hold.

"I thought he was dead!" he seethed out, pointing at Dragen.

Kahlan swallowed and averted her eyes. "At the time, I thought he had been killed, but…," a faint smile grew across her lips as she looked over at Dragen, who smiled in return. "I underestimated him. He survived the attack by the bandits and managed to crawl to a hunter's cabin not far from your own cabin. However, his injuries were severe and he was bed ridden through the entire winter. But when he had healed, he set off to find me." Her smile grew wider and Richard felt dismayed and heartbroken at the look of love in her eyes had when she looked up at the confessed man. "And he found me!"

Richard ground his teeth and clenched his hands into fists. Avoiding looking at Kahlan, he gazed down at the little blonde girl clutching Kahlan's leg. "Is… is this Ashley?" he asked.

The little girl glanced up at her mother and then back at Richard, looking confused. "How does he know my name, mommy?" she asked in a cute high-pitched voice.

Kahlan smiled and caressed her daughter's head. "Because he's the one who named you," she answered.

"But he's not my daddy!" the girl objected, crossing her arms and glaring up at him.

Richard did not know why, but that seemed to hurt more than seeing how Kahlan had looked at Dragen and to see her with child again. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a frustrated breath.

"Why, Kahlan?" he growled. "Why did you not wait for me?"

"The… the line of Confessors had to be continued," came her voice. "And… and I thought I'd never see you again."

"So you took him back as your mate!" he snarled. "Why didn't you come for me? Why did you just stay here and… and… with him! Why!"

Kahlan frowned and lowered her brow. "If you had loved me, you would have turned back when I had called your name!" she said. "But you did not. I took that as a sign. And besides," her eyes looked over at Dragen. "He's twice the man you are… in every way. I lied to you… and spirits, I don't know why? Perhaps I just wanted to make you feel better, but damn it, sex with Dragen was… no… _is_ great! He's brought me to release so many times that I have lost count."

Richard clenched his teeth so tightly he swore he would break them. He felt like he had just been stabbed in the heart. His entire body was trembling and he was fighting hard just to remain on his feet. Kahlan continued to gush on.

"And the orgasms he gives me are at least three times as great as the ones you ever managed to coax out of me," she continued and harrumphed. "I'm amazed you even managed that. How I could ever love you, I don't know? You are nothing compared to Dragen!"

"Kahlan, is that really necessary?" Zedd spoke up.

Kahlan gave a shrug, looking innocent. "I have to rid is mind of the idea that he could ever have me again," she said, turning to the wizard. "It's been ten years, Zedd. Did he honestly think I'd wait that long, especially when I have a stud like Dragen to please me?"

"NO!" Richard cried, and latched out, grabbing Kahlan by the arm and roughly pulling her to him. Ashley yelped out and darted over to her father. "You said you loved me! You… you told me to come back to you!" He sobbed and reached into his vest pocket and pulled out her lock of hair. "Spirits, Kahlan, you even cut your own hair to give me this."

"I was young and naïve," Kahlan said, fimly. "I thought I knew what love was, but come now, Richard, all you really wanted was my body. You never really loved me. Just be thankfully that I allowed you to sleep with me."

"But you sent them to get me!" Richard objected. "They said you needed the Seeker."

She looked at him with the glare of the Mother Confessor, and he released his hold on his arm. She nodded, and stepped back, standing by her mate.

"Yes, I need you," Kahlan said, her voice calm and with no love in it. "As the Mother Confessor, it is my responsibility to protect the Midlands. And you are far more than just the Seeker, Richard. You are the Lord Rahl. I need you to take the throne, and then surrender D'Hara to me… to the Midlands. If I could, I would confess you and make you do it, but we all know that you'll do anything I say, even if it means leaving my side and giving me to another… more worthy man." She turned to Dragen and in front of his eyes gave the confessed man a passionate kiss that made the two girls giggle.

Richard staggered back, falling to his knees in horror at what he was seeing. He clutched her lock of hair to his chest, wishing that none of this were true, that it was all just a dream. He wanted so much for the Kahlan standing before him to be the same one that had given him this memento that he had cherished for so long in his captivity. He sniffled and looked around him, seeing everyone staring at him with a look of pity in their eyes. Richard snarled. He did not want their pity. His world was over. If living meant that he had to accept Kahlan sleeping with another man and bearing his children, while he merely served her as the Seeker and Lord Rahl, then that was not life. It was meaningless.

"Richard, what are you doing?" Kahlan inquired, as she pulled back from her passionate kiss with her mate, squinting as he reached down to his belt and pulled out the dagger.

He held it out before him. "You gave me this, Kahlan," he said through trembling lips. "Telling me to stay safe and return to you. Now I see that it was all a lie. And if living in this world means living without you at my side, then I don't want to live. It's not worth it."

Kahlan looked down on him with no sign of love or regret. "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I moved on," she said. "You could, too." Her eyes glanced up and he knew she was looking at Cara. "I know of some others who wouldn't mind sharing your bed."

"It was never about sex, Kahlan!" Richard shouted. "My love for you was beyond the physical… I would have died for you… spirits, I still will."

"What?" Kahlan furrowed her brow.

Richard moved the dagger up and pressed the point to his chest. He clutched the lock of her hair to his cheek, feeling her soft silky strands brush against his skin. "I love you, Kahlan… and I'll see you again in the Underworld." And with that said, he shoved the dagger into his chest.


	42. Retaliation

**Chapter 42 – Retaliation**

Richard cried out, feeling the pain spread throughout his chest as the dagger punctured his skin. He collapsed on the ground, and was a little startled when he discovered it was not the marble floor of the Confessor's Palace, but, instead, that of a hard grey stone. Added to that, Richard did not feel the sensation of his wet blood trickling down his chest and pooling on the floor beneath him. Above him he heard a huff and thought Kahlan was laughing at him. But then he heard a voice that was not supposed to be at the Confessor's Palace.

"I knew it wasn't going to work!" he recognized the voice of Sister Bree.

"Well, if you had not failed in seducing him in the first place, then we wouldn't be in this mess, now would we?" snapped back Sister Merissa.

Richard groggily looked up, spying on the Sisters as they all began squabbling amongst themselves. He was still in the Palace of the Prophets. He knitted his eyebrows together, confused. Apparently, whatever he had just experienced was an illusion. He groaned and rubbed his forehead, feeling like a fool for believing that what he had been seeing was real. By the spirits, he knew Kahlan. After their time in the woods around Trunt Lake in Westland, Richard knew that Kahlan loved him and felt terrible for having taken a mate and conceiving a child that was not his. Her anguish and grief over what she had done was obvious and powerful.

Kahlan had even taken the pain of cutting her own hair to show her love and provide him with a memento to remember her by while they were separated. Spirits, she had even agreed to marry him. He smiled at the memory. She had said yes before he could even ask, seeming to sense that that was the question he was building up to ask her. He could remember the heat of her body next to his, the passion that sparked when their lips met. Kahlan was his… and she would never willingly give herself to another. He gritted his teeth. Now, more than ever, he had to return to her… and make her his all over again, and again… and again… his mind trailed off as he thought of his beloved.

"Quiet, all of you!" came Nicci's commanding voice, calling him back to reality.

Blinking, he grimaced when he felt hands grab his shoulders as the Sisters pulled him up to his feet. His legs were a little weak and wobbly, most likely from the trauma of enduring a false death. As his eyes flirted around the room, he was met with the fierce glare of Sister Nicci.

"So, Seeker, your love for her is beyond the physical, is it?" she asked, smirking. "Well, we shall see about that!" Turning, she snapped her fingers and Sister Marianna stepped forward, looking nervous.

"You wanted a chance at him, yes? So take it."

Marianna glanced around, her eyes growing wide. "What?" her brow furrowed. "Right now?" Her eyes looked back and forth at the other Sisters. "Here?"

"Why not?" Nicci scoffed. "We very well can't leave you alone with him. He has not yet been… properly trained. We need to bend him to our will. If we must, I will use some magic and make you look like his confessor, this Kahlan Amnell. Then we shall see if his love for her is beyond the physical, as he claims."

Marianna gave a submissive nod and slowly began to disrobe. The other Sisters grabbed a hold of Richard and tugged at his shirt, pulling it out of his trousers and working at the fastenings of his belt buckle. Richard struggled around them, but they were surprisingly strong. Sister Bree removed his vest jacket and there was a thud as the small figurine, he had carved, fell to the floor. Bree paused, bent down, and picked it up.

"What's this?" she questioned, looking over at Richard.

Nicci stepped forward and snatched it out of her hands. "He's been carving it," she smirked, holding it up before Richard. "Haven't you?"

Richard clenched his jaw tight, and refused to answer.

"Very well, remain silent," Nicci snapped. "It does not matter." She paused, looking over the figurine. "So…," she drawled out slowly. "This is your beloved… your confessor."

Nicci gestured to Bree, who held up the vest jacket. Handing the figurine back to Bree, Nicci reached inside the vest. Richard narrowed his eyes and bit his little lip, trying to do his best to hide his anxiety over them finding his memento of his Kahlan. His concern was warranted, because when Nicci pulled her hand out, she was holding the lock of hair that Kahlan had given him.

"Oh… and look here," Nicci's lips curled slightly in a cruel sort of way. "This must be a memento she gave him. How precious!" She tilted her head back and chuckled softly.

That was it. Richard could stand it no longer. "Let go of that!" he raged, struggling against the Sisters that were holding him.

Nicci raised an amused eyebrow. "Or what? You're going to stop me!" She threw her head back and laughed maliciously. "Ha! Try you're best, Seeker!" In a flash of light Kahlan's lock of hair burst into flames.

Richard's eyes grew wide in horror. He could not believe she had just done that. A deep seeded anger grew in his chest and he opened his mouth, letting out a tremendous roar of rage.

"NO!" he bellowed.

Something inside him seemed to burst, and his entire body just trembled with the rage he felt. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw as he felt the sensations stir within his gut. He did not know what it was, but whatever it was, it was giving him strength, making him stronger. Sister Nicci had destroyed something that was extremely precious to him. Something that reminded him of his beloved… of his Kahlan, the woman he loved more than his very life. Destroying something she had given to him was almost like an attack on her, and that was something he would not stand for.

Then it all seemed to coalesce within the core of his being. His eyes snapped open and there was a loud crack that resounded through the room, followed by a metallic clang from the floor at his feet. The Sisters holding him backed away, gasping in astonishment. Richard blinked and looked down, seeing that the Rada'Han had snapped in two.

Using their surprise and shock to his advantage, Richard quickly punched Sister Nicci in the face, knocking her out. The rest of the Sisters were stunned by this, not expecting him to even hit one of them, since he was reputed to be an honorable man, and men were not supposed to hit women. Richard did not care. He'd learned long ago that women could be just as deadly as men. And these particular women were possibly the most deadly he had ever encountered. Possibly even more deadly than the Mord'Sith.

"Stop him!" Merissa screeched, but her order fell on deaf ears as Richard grabbed the figurine from Bree's trembling hands. Bree blinked, confused and tried to grab him, but he pushed her back, shoving her to the ground.

Richard turned towards the door and shouldered his way through it, practically knocking it off its hinges. He went running down the hall, ignoring the confused looks of students and teachers alike. He spun around a corner just as a blast of black lightning struck the stone wall behind him, sending shards flying into the air. Shouts and yells erupted around him. He looked over his shoulder and saw that a battle seemed to have started between the Sisters of the Dark and the Sisters of the Light.

He ducked back as a bolt shot by him, Richard caught sight of Sister Verna. She was stepping out from a chamber, seemingly oblivious to what was going on. Richard looked over and saw Sister Nicci stepping down the hall, blasting away opponents as they came her way. Her face was marked down in a scowl and there was blood dripping down her forehead from a cut, no doubt a result of his punch. Nicci's blue eyes locked on Verna and a malicious grin curled on her lips as she raised her hand.

"Verna! Get down!" Richard shouted.

Verna's eyes grew wide. Running out from his hiding place, Richard launched himself at the Sister, and pulled her back behind a corner just as a bolt crackled past them, impacting the sidewall. Richard pressed Verna against the wall, turning his back, shielding them from the blast of debris. Verna sucked in a breath and looked up at him in shock and confusion.

"In the name of the Creator, what is going on?"

"Trouble in paradise," Richard said in a huff. "Apparently your benevolent sisterhood has been infected by followers of the Keeper."

"Sisters of the Dark!" Verna let out a gasp. "The Prelate suspected, but I never thought it poss—"

She was cut off as another bolt of black lightning burst overhead. Richard peeked over the edge, seeing Sister Nicci dispatch more and more Sisters of the Light as they tried to defend themselves and their students. She was openly glaring at everyone with hate, no longer carrying on the façade of a kindhearted Sister of the Light. Her red robes were billowing out around her, vividly similar to how they had looked in his nightmare.

"Come back, Seeker!" she cried out. "Come out and surrender yourself… or we'll see to it that your precious Kahlan meets the Keeper's cold embrace!"

Richard growled and made a move to pull out, intent on meeting Nicci in combat, but he was stopped by Verna, who grabbed his arm. "No, Richard, do not let her provoke you," she hissed. "You will be no good to your confessor dead."

"Well, what do you suggest then?" he grounded his teeth.

"We must get you out of here," Verna glanced about anxiously.

"Why?" Richard inquired, furrowing his brow as Verna pulled him away as other Sisters rushed past to meet the battle.

"The Prelate suspected that the Sisters of the Dark might make a move to acquire your Han," her eyes drifted down to his collarless neck. "And now that you've mastered your Han—How? I do not know—but only mastering your Han can cause the Rada'Han to detach." She paused as they ducked down the hallways and entered the main hall.

"You must return to your confessor," Verna said, reaching inside her robes and pulling out a three bladed weapon. "This is a dacra. It is a more efficient weapon than your knife."

Richard knitted his eyebrows together, recognizing it as the weapon he'd seen in his dream. Taking it into his hand, he had the haunting suspicion that he should not accept this weapon. But he did, taking it in his hand and holding it like he had seen it held in his nightmare. Verna tilted her head ever so slightly.

"You've seen a dacra before?"

"In a dream," he murmured.

Verna looked over her shoulder as an explosion sounded. Turning back, she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Go, quickly. We've received word that the First Wizard is close by, searching for you. Seek him out, you will need his help if you are to defeat Nicci and her followers."

"Verna," Richard clenched his jaw, not knowing what to say. "Come with me…"

"My place is here, Seeker," Verna asserted. "As your place is by your love. Return to her, and defend her. The Sisters of the Dark will wish to harm her."

"How do you know that? How?"

"There is a prophecy," Verna spoke hastily, as if afraid she would not get another chance to tell him. "It warns that a woman of pure heart would be hunted by the daughters of death… in other words, the Keeper."

"What?"

"According to prophecy, killing this women will somehow result in the veil being torn and releasing the Keeper's wrath upon us," Verna explained. "And unlike what happened after you killed Darken Rahl, it will take much more than the Stone of Tears to stop the Keeper." She paused to suck in a breath. "So… you must go and protect your love."

"How do you know that Kahlan is this woman?" Richard asked, grabbing Verna's shoulders.

"Whom else but the Mother Confessor can you call pure of heart?" she questioned, raising her eyebrows.

Richard looked around as more Sisters began to appear, each looking ready to help defend the Palace of the Prophets against the rising threat from within. A tall woman, dressed in white robes and a matching headdress, appeared at the top of the steps. She quickly made her way down to them.

"Sister Verna, what is the Seeker still doing here?" she snapped, her voice filled with authority.

"Pardons, Prelate," Verna bowed her head. "I was explaining to him necessity for his protection of the Mother Confessor."

"No matter. He must get away… and quickly!" the Prelate said with a wave of her hand. "Go with him, Verna."

"But…?" she began to protest.

"GO!" the Prelate shouted. "We will hold off the Sisters of the Dark as long as possible. Now, obey me and go with the Seeker."

Verna nodded and turned back to Richard. "Well, Seeker, it appears I will be accompanying you, after all."

Richard gave a nod and looked over at the stern face of the Prelate. "Is it true? What she said about this prophecy?" he inquired.

The Prelate nodded. "Yes," she spoke. "The Mother Confessor must be protected at all costs, and who better to do that than the Seeker of Truth, who just so happens to possess the most powerful Han in three thousand years."

Another explosion rocked the palace. The Sisters of the Light spread out, creating a protective shield. The Prelate looked around then turned back to Richard and Verna.

"Go! Go now, before it is too late!" the Prelate shouted.

Richard grabbed Verna's arm. "You said that word came that Zedd was out there, looking for me," he said as they made their way towards the exit. "Do you know where he is?"

Verna gave a nod. "Reports said he was near the Tanmur desert."

Richard nodded, his mind already jumping ahead, thinking of his reunion with Kahlan. Spirits, how he missed her! If being with her was what prophecy needed, then he would not argue. Anything that gave him an excuse to return to her was welcomed. Taking a deep breath, he gripped the figurine of his beloved close to his heart, determined that he would present it to her to show is love.

"Right," he blinked, turning his attention back to the Sister of the Light. "Lead on, Verna. Lead on!" As they went running out of the Palace of the Prophets, Richard grinned softly, thinking of the beautiful woman with long dark hair that he loved. "Hang in there, Kahlan, I'm coming," he whispered to the wind.


	43. Visitor

**Chapter 43 – Visitor**

Kahlan stood before the mirror in her bedchambers, getting dressed. She began buttoning up the fastenings over her enlarged belly, slowly caressing the swell as she would the child within once it was born, and thought of the father. Ever since she had been parted from Richard, it had been hard not to think of him. His face, his eyes, his smile… his lips. Oh, how she missed the feel of his lips on hers! She closed her eyes, hugging herself, and imagined his strong hands and arms as they wrapped around her naked body and held her after they had made passionate love. Spirits, it was a feeling she wanted to feel again.

Out of everything, what she missed the most was just that. Not just the passion or the sex, but simply having Richard by her side. His mere presence brought her a strength and calm that she had never felt before. Having to force him to leave her was one of the most difficult things she had ever done. But it paled in comparison to what she had done when she had taken Dragen as a mate. Sure, she had enjoyed none of it, but she had given the confessed man that which she had always dreamt was something she could have given to Richard.

"Kahlan?"

She nearly jumped at the sound of her name being called out. Turning, she saw Jennsen stepping in through the doors with little Ashley in her arms. Her daughter gurgled happily and smiled up at her as Jennsen walked over.

"Yes, Jennsen, what is it?" Kahlan inquired, finishing fastening the buttons of her dress around her swollen belly. She turned her attention back to the mirror, looking at her reflection, wondering if Richard would still find her desirable in her current state.

"You have a visitor," Jennsen said, rocking Ashley gently in her arms. "I told the chamberlain to escort her to the council chambers. I hope that is all right?"

Kahlan nodded, picking up a white robe and pulling it over her shoulders. Her heart skipped a beat as she remembered the last time she'd donned this particular robe. It had been when Richard and the rest had returned to Aydindril—that dark day in which she had to reveal her terrible betrayal. She closed her eyes and suppressed the grief from it. This was not the time to grieve over past sins. It was a time to look towards the future; a future that she hoped and prayed would still be possible.

"Yes, Jennsen, thank you," Kahlan spoke up, turning back to face the red-haired woman who would become her sister when she married Richard. "Would you mind looking after Ashley for a little while longer?"

Jennsen smiled. "Of course, it will be a pleasure."

Kahlan gave another nod and stepped over, slowly running her fingers through the blonde fuzz on her daughter's head. Ashley giggled and smiled up at her, her blue eyes sparkling. Leaning forward, Kahlan planted a kiss on her baby's head, before giving Jennsen a grateful hug and departing the room.

Palace guards escorted her down the hall and passed the many portraits of all the previous Mother Confessors. Kahlan stopped at one, and bowed her head, saying a silent prayer. Glancing back up, Kahlan looked upon the face of her mother, so serene and beautiful.

"I miss you, mother," she whispered softly, the guards were standing at a respectful distance and would not overhear. "There have been times in which I wished that I could speak with you and ask your guidance." She paused and gave a weak smile. "Almost two years ago, I met a man who changed my world," she continued, looking down as she informed the portrait of her mother about what had happened to her. "He dared to fall in love with me. And I… I dared to fall in love with him. We've had our troubles since then, but finally, after much heartache and pain—mainly caused by actions I took, we can be together." Kahlan placed a hand on her belly and looked back up, staring into the painted eyes of her mother. "I'm carrying his child, mother. Please, on my behalf, ask the good spirits to look after him and see him returned to his unborn child and me. I wish you could be here and know him… see the man that found a way to love a confessor, to love your daughter. I… I think you would have liked him."

She lowered her head and closed her eyes, murmuring soft prayers that the Sisters of the Light of Thandore had taught her as a child. Taking a deep breath, she raised her head and put on her confessor's face, not wanting the palace guards to see her emotions. Kahlan was the Mother Confessor and had to maintain some dignity around the people of Aydindril. However, she had to hold one of the guards' hands for support as she walked down the steep steps of the grand staircase. She would have preferred no assistance, but she was not stupid. Kahlan would not allow her pride in appearing strong to jeopardize the child that was growing inside her… Richard's child.

After they reached the grand marble foyer of the Confessor's Palace, it was a quick walk to the council chambers. The guards opened the doors for her and she was greeted with a surprising sight.

The old woman turned around and grinned broadly. "This palace of yours is magnificent, dearie," she shook a wrinkled finger, as if to chide her. "You failed to inform me that Richard Cypher had managed to win the heart of a queen."

"I… I am not a queen, Darla," Kahlan smiled at seeing the midwife from Hartland, but blushed just the same. She was never really comfortable with such a title or the power it implicated. As Mother Confessor, her rule over the Midlands Council was more like an advisor, though, they did usually always bow to her wishes. But that was more out of fear than actually respect. It was something Kahlan was used to as a confessor—being feared. And it was that which Richard had changed. He had never been afraid of her.

"You live in a palace, have guards and servants…," Darla prattled on. "And you are known far and wide." She chuckled softly and beamed. "It made my search for you, my dear, a lot easier."

Kahlan blushed all the more at that, not knowing why. She glided across the marble floor of the council chambers, her white robes billowing out around her as she rushed to greet the midwife with a hug. She had trouble hiding her expression of confusion at the midwife's appear in Aydindril, which only made the old woman chortle loudly.

"I know, I must apologize," Darla said, smiling. "But I could not miss the birth of Richard Cypher's first born. The boy means so much to me." She stepped back and her keen eyes scrutinized Kahlan. "And from the look of you, I came just in time. You look ready to burst, my dear." Darla paused and looked around. "But where is Richard? Where is the father of your child?"

Kahlan swallowed past the lump in her throat. "He… he had to go…," she stammered, and closed her eyes. Suddenly everything seemed clear. Her path was laid out before her and she knew what she must do. Opening her eyes, Kahlan grabbed Darla's arm. "I must go to him. He… he needs me, just as I need him." She paused. "Will you come with me?"

Darla furrowed her brow. "Where is it that you are going?"

"To the south," she said informed the midwife. "That is where my Richard is… where the father of my child is. And… and I will go to him."

The old woman looked at her for a moment, then straightened her back and gave a single nod. "Then I shall come as well," Darla asserted. "You shall need someone to look after you and be there in case you go into labor."

"Thank you, I'm sure Richard will be most grateful to know you will accompany me."

"Oh, I'm sure he will," Darla grinned, as she looped her arm through Kahlan's, leading them out of the room. "Now, what of your other child?"

"Ashley?" Kahlan bit her lower lip and furrowed her brow in worry. She had almost forgotten about her first born, so intent on going to her beloved Richard.

They looked up to see Jennsen standing in the doorway, holding a sleeping babe in her arms. Kahlan had no idea how long the pristinely ungifted one had been listening, but from the look in her eyes, Kahlan guessed it had been long enough. Darla detached herself from Kahlan's arm and shuffled over to have a look at the baby.

"Oh, she is beautiful, dearie," the midwife beamed.

Kahlan nodded her thanks as she came up to stand along side the old woman, looking down at her slumbering daughter, snug and safe in her aunt's arms. "Jennsen… I must—" she began, but Jennsen stopped her with a look.

"Do not worry, Kahlan," Jennsen said with a small smile. "I understand. It is how Richard felt when you were lost in the blizzard. I shall stay and watch over Ashley." She paused, swallowing, and then spoke with a voice thick with emotion. "Go to him, Kahlan. Go to my brother… and bring him back."

Kahlan gave Jennsen a hug, backing away to lean forward to kiss and caress her daughter. She murmured her love and prayers to her infant, and then, with one hand resting on the swell of her belly, signaled the guards to come over as she gave the orders that would help carry her out of the city and on the path towards her Seeker.


	44. Desert

**Chapter 44 – Desert**

The sun was like a hot orb in the sky, heating the sandy grains of the Tanmur desert. The heat was so much that when Richard squinted out at the horizon, he could see it rising up off the ground in a haze. Verna stood beside him, looking out at the dunes. She adjusted her robes and pulled out a waterskin, offering it to him. Richard accepted it and popped the stopper, taking a long draft. When he was finished, he handed it back to Verna as he continued to look out at the horizon.

Something was appearing over the furthest dune. Richard's heart skipped a bit when he recognized that tall silhouette. "ZEDD!" he cried out, catching the first glimpse of his grandfather. He immediately broke out in a run.

From behind him he could hear Verna let out a frustrated groan as she threw her arms up in the air and followed him. Richard continued rushing across the sands of the desert, clutching the figurine of Kahlan tightly in his hands, never wanting to let go of it until he could give it to his beloved, to prove to her that he never stop thinking of her. The others spotted him, just as he had spotted them, and he heard shouts as they called his name. They, too, began rushing across the sands separating them. As the distance between them closed, Richard could tell that, in addition to his grandfather, Cara and Chase were there as well.

Then, suddenly, the world seemed to spin out of control. Richard had no idea what was going on; only that someone was screaming his name. He felt Verna grab his arm and pull him down. Glancing up as he fell to the sands, he saw the glistening metal of a dacra spin over his head.

Arching his neck and looking over his shoulder he saw a line of red robed women standing in the sand. The wind whipped wildly around them. He could tell that the one standing in the center, with long hair flowing about her face, was Nicci. Richard tucked the figurine of Kahlan securely in his vest pocket, and turned around to face the Sisters of the Dark.

"Richard! Thank the spirits we found you!" Zedd shouted as he and the others came up behind them.

Richard quickly moved up and pulled his grandfather down before a bolt of black lightning could impact him in the chest. Zedd let out a yelp, but gave a grateful nod. His keen eyes took note of Richard gripping the hilt of the dagger sheathed to his belt. As they all slid down the dune, shielding themselves from the nasty spells being cast by the Sisters of the Dark, Zedd parted his robes and pulled out one of the many things Richard had missed since he had left Westland. Immediately, though, his thoughts jumped to Kahlan, wondering why she was not here! He had given it to her for protection, and now here Zedd was handing it to him.

"I believe this is yours, my boy," Zedd said, his eyebrows arching up as he peeked over the horizon. "And with those sorceresses out there, I think you'll need it."

"Kahlan?" was all Richard could say.

"Oh, she's safe and sound in Aydindril with the little one," Zedd replied, a knowing gleam in his eye. "Don't worry, Jennsen's with them."

Richard gave a single nod and accepted the Sword of Truth from his grandfather. It was still sheathed, looking as it had the last time he had seen it. He could see the dried blood still caked on the lip of the scabbard, evidence that Kahlan had never used it. Knowing that he had fed the fury of the sword in hope that it would help defend Kahlan, Richard was not going to unsheathe the sword until it was absolutely necessary.

"We need to take care of the Sisters of the Dark before we leave," he informed Zedd and the others as he attached the Sword of Truth to his belt, almost sighing with relief when he felt its weight against his leg. It was back were it belonged.

"Why?" Zedd inquired, raising an eyebrow with a befuddled look plastered on his face.

"Because they've threatened Kahlan's life!" Richard said through gritted teeth, mentally preparing himself for the battle to come. He knew that with the Sword of Truth in hand, he could deflect some of the magic that Nicci and her other Sisters sent at him. The sword had protected him from Wizard's Fire when the Mother Confessor Serena had confessed Zedd, and when some rogue wizards they had encountered during their hunt for Darken Rahl had attacked them.

"Dear spirits," the wizard groaned and looked over at Chase and Cara.

"Well, then, it is a good thing you convinced Kahlan to stay in Aydindril, Zedd," Chase said with a nod of his head, unsheathing his sword and battle-axe.

Zedd turned to Verna. "It is true," the Sister of the Light confirmed with a nod. "It is written in prophecy. The Prelate has been researching it for some time now, and she has discovered that there is a ritual, of sorts, that, if preformed with certain incantations and in the proper location, could tear the veil. And if it is done, nothing—not even the Stone of Tears—could seal it back up and stop the Keeper from ending all life."

"Yes, yes," Cara butted in, pushing pass Zedd and Verna to kneel by her Lord Rahl. "This is all very interesting and I'm sure important, but are we just going to sit here chatting or are we going to do something about those sorceresses?"

Richard gave a nod and placed a hand on the pommel of the Sword of Truth, feeling the magical fury of the sword beginning to come to him. "We take them out… all of them," he said, looking at everyone. "I'm not going to allow any harm to come to Kahlan. Not as long as I live. I'll do it alone if I have to."

"You're not alone, my boy," Zedd assured him, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving him a soft smile. "We're with you."

Cara took out her agiels and peeked over the top of the dune, her eyes scanning the distance. "I'm counting twelve of them," she said. "But there could be more." She cocked her head, glancing down to look at Richard. "How exactly are we going to—?"

Before she could finish her sentence, Richard quickly moved pass Zedd and pulled her down. He had heard its approached and let out a breath of relief when it went sailing over Cara's head. The three-pronged blade swirled past them and impacted in the side of the opposite dune face. Cara took in a quick breath and gave him a slight nod of thanks, but no more than that… she still had her pride, after all.

Shifting to a crouch, he took the wooden figurine of Kahlan out of his vest pocket and looked down at it. He did not want to part with it, but with what he was planning, he preferred to keep it somewhere away from the danger of getting destroyed. The others watched as he reverently gazed upon it, before placing a kiss on the carved forehead and placing it down on the sand. He placed a hand over it and closed his eyes, saying a soft prayer to the good spirits. "I will return to you, my beloved," he murmured softly, only loud enough for the wind to hear.

Richard tightened his grip around the hilt of the sword, feeling the reassuring feel of it in his hand. He narrowed his eyes and inhaled deeply, then looked up at the others. "Follow my lead," he told them.

With a battle cry of deep fury, Richard pulled the blood soaked Sword of Truth from its scabbard, feeling the magical rage ignite and explode throughout his being as he vaulted over the crest of the sand dune to face the enemy.


	45. Battle

**Chapter 45 – Battle**

The magic of the Sword of Truth ignited the moment it was free of its scabbard. There was nothing that could stop him, nothing that could stand in his way. Rage and fury were his companions and he would strike down anything that prevent him from reuniting with the one woman that made life worth living.

Richard went charging over the dune, heedless to any danger that may come his way from the wicked Sisters of the Dark. Bolts of black lightning, conjured from dark magic, flashed all around him, yet none seemed capable of hitting their mark. Sand splashed up around him like water as he charged across the gap between the two forces. Dacras were flung at him, but he easily knocked them aside with a swift motion of his blade.

The others were not far behind him. Cara used her Mord'Sith talent of deflecting magic to protect the others, her eyes ever on her Lord Rahl as he plunged towards the enemy. Verna and Zedd hung back, staying behind the Mord'Sith as a shield. Chase would normally have been out front, facing the opponent head on, but he was being wisely cautious, knowing that these opponents were unlike any he had ever faced before.

Nicci stepped out from the line, her head tilting up hotly. Her red robes swayed in the wind, like flames around a burning bush. She raised her hand and sent an electric blue burst towards them. Richard jumped in front of his friends and shielded them with the Sword of Truth. He tightened his grip on the handle, clutching it with both hands as the brilliant steel absorbed the magic. Nicci scoffed and growled in frustration.

"KILL HIM!" she shouted.

All but three of her Sisters went charging out to meet the opponents. Dacras manifested out of their swirling red robes as they charged. Richard howled like a wild beast as he swung his sword in a nasty arch, decapitating the first Sister of the Dark to meet him in the field of battle. The other Sisters danced around him, each trying to get at him with their three-pronged blades, but Richard was too quick for them. He was in the grip of the magical fury of the Sword of Truth and could not be touched. He was quite literally the bringer of death. Slicing and swinging, he blocked and parried each of their moves as they spun around him.

Some of the Sisters broke off and meet the others when they came up to join the fight. Zedd ducked and jumped, conjuring up his standard defensive spells he had often used while battling banelings. And air push spell here, and a quick blast of Wizard's Fire there. Cara was as efficient as ever, ramming and jabbing her agiels into the most unprotected and sensitive spots on her attackers bodies. Chase was clearly startled with the skill of the sorceresses, but soon did away with any qualms he had had about fighting and killing women. Verna was not as skilled as the others, but she held her own.

Richard continued with his attack, pressing on, slicing through any opposition. He did away with the last Sister blocking his path and stopped, breathing heavily, his chest heaving with his fury. He glared across the expanse at the straight-backed Nicci, looking defiant and angry. Shifting the sword across his field of vision, he gestured towards her, feeling the rage pour into his veins at the thought of this woman threatening his beloved Kahlan. There was nothing in this world that would cause such a storm to rage in him as a threat to the woman he loved.

Nicci scowled and lifted her hand, flinging a dacra to him. Richard narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth, prepared to deflect it. Then, he heard a cry and turned to see a Sister charge him, her dacra raised high over her head. He had to take his eyes off the incoming dacra Nicci had threw to defend himself. He dwelt with her quickly, slicing the sword down in quick motion that severed her arm from her shoulder. She dropped, blood flying all over the sand, as he twirled the sword around to finish her off.

Done with her, Richard turned to see Cara jump in front of him. His eyes grew wide with horror, thinking that she was taking the dacra in his stead. But then he saw her back stiffen and her arm come up. He watched as the spinning dacra, all shiny and brilliant in the desert sun, slowed and stopped. Cara smirked, and pulled her hand back. Then, with a quick jerk, she pushed her hand forward, sending the dacra hurdling back towards its owner.

Cara ducked back and went to help Zedd with a particularly aggressive Sister. Richard stepped forward and watched as Nicci dodged the spinning dacra, lowering her head as it went flying over her, only to have it impact with the head of the Sister of the Dark behind her. Nicci looked over her shoulder and frowned, her eyes lighting up in rage. She stepped forward and sent a lightning bolt towards him. Richard raised the sword, and the magical steel absorbed the blast, protecting him and his comrades.

Nicci snarled in consternation and raised both of her hands above her head. Richard narrowed his eyes and tensed his shoulders, preparing for another assault. He braced his feet in the sand as a strong wind picked up around them, trying to push him back. He heard Zedd let out a groan as he fell to the ground. Verna stepped over his grandfather and finished the Sister that was attacking the wizard. Cara and Chase were back to back, fighting off their attackers with ease. With a swing of his battle-ax, Chase took off the head of the last sorceress of the first wave.

Richard smiled and turned back to look back at Nicci. The sorceress clenched her jaw and glanced towards the two Sisters that remained with her. The two nodded and took out their dacras and began running down the dune towards him. Chase and Cara ran out in front of him.

"NO!" he shouted. "Back, behind me!"

Chase obeyed his commands without comment, but Cara gave him a questioning look. "But Richard…," she began.

"Do as I say, Cara!" Richard spat out through gritted teeth.

She gave a reluctant nod and moved back to stand behind him with Chase. Verna was helping Zedd up off the ground; the old wizard grimaced when he tried to put his weight on his right leg. Richard turned his attention back to the approaching Sisters of the Dark. The tails of their robes flowed behind them like streamers on a kite and their faces were hidden behind veils of red silk.

The first approached him and swung at him with her dacra. He sidestepped and brought his sword down across her back, slicing through her spine, killing her in one swift motion. Then, continuing the swing, he brought the sword up in a fluid move to impact with the midsection of the second Sister. She stumbled as her middle was cut open, and Richard wasted no time in bringing his sword up to finish her with a quick jerk and slash that finished her off.

Having dispatched the last of Nicci's force, Richard straightened and held his sword at his side as he glared out across the sands at the lone Sister of the Dark. He raised his sword and pointed it at her.

"It's just you and me now, Nicci!" he shouted across the gap.

Before Richard could say anything Zedd had hobbled his way past him and was sending plumes of Wizard's Fire towards the wicked sorceress. Richard watched in astonishment as Nicci held her hands up, palms open, and deflected the flames past her. She stepped forward out of the fire with a smug grin on her lips.

"You may have one this battle, Cypher!" she snarled. "But I shall win the war!"

And with that said, she promptly vanished in a burst of blue light. Richard growled in frustration and ran to the spot where she had been, uselessly slicing at the empty air. He turned back to look at a breathless Cara, who had kept close to his heels as he had charged out across the distance in his last desperate attempt to stop Nicci before she vanished.

"That's a neat trick," Cara said through panting breaths. "Why can't Zedd do that?"

Richard sucked in a deep breath and shook his head, not bothering to answer. He rammed the Sword of Truth back home into its scabbard and turned back to return to the others. Cara flung a stray strand of blonde hair away from her face and slowly followed behind him.

"Is Kahlan safe?" was the first thing he asked, as he glanced over his shoulder at his Mord'Sith friend.

"She's a confessor," Cara replied with a smirk. "She can take care of herself."

Richard gave a nod, knowing full well that Kahlan was just as good a fighter as he was. He had rushed headlong into battle with her many times and had been memorized by her grace and skill with her daggers. She was truly a warrior queen. But he could not help but be worried for her safety, now that she no longer had the Sword of Truth with her. He knew he should not be so worried. Kahlan was in Aydindril, surrounded by the tall walls and guards that patrolled them.

Looking back up, he saw his grandfather sitting on the ground, Sister Verna pestering him about a gash on his leg. The old wizard grimaced and smiled at the same time, trying to save himself from the ministrations of the Sister of the Light.

"I can take care of it myself," Zedd asserted.

"Sure you can," Verna huffed, and pushed his hand away. "Wizards always think they know best."

"As does the Prelate and the rest of your order," came Zedd's retort. "Thinking you know how to train young wizards." He harrumphed. "You should leave that task to the older wizards."

Verna gave him a feigned polite smile. "There are no older wizards… only very stupid ones, who think they can heal themselves after a battle. You're spent, Zorander! Let me help!"

Zedd opened his mouth to respond, when Richard and Cara finally reached them. Richard held out his hand and silenced his grandfather before he could respond. "Zedd, just relax and accept the help."

His grandfather looked up at him and narrowed his hazel eyes. He gave a reluctant nod, and moved his hand out of the way so that Verna could tend to his wound. The Sister gave Richard a thankful smile, and then knelt down to work. Chase chuckled softly and rolled his eyes, coming up to stand beside Richard.

"I never thought Zedd would allow her to use her magic on him," he said.

Richard gave an absent nod and then turned. He jogged over the dune and back to where he had placed the wooden figurine of his Kahlan. Cara and Chase went with him and watched quietly as he retrieved it. Richard picked it up and clutched it to his chest. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, thinking of his beloved.

"Uh… Richard?" Chase broached, rubbing the back of his head. "There's something we need to tell you?"

Richard flirted his eyes open and glanced up at his friends. "What?"

"It's about Kahlan," Chase said, exchanging an uneasy look with Cara.

Taking the cue, the Mord'Sith stepped forward and met Richard's gaze. "The Mother Confessor is with child," she informed him as if she was reporting that the sun had risen at the start of the day.

Richard's mouth dropped. He stared at them in utter shock at the news he had just been told. Zedd and Verna's bickering ceased. All that he could hear was the beating of his own heart and the wind brushing across the sand. Richard honestly did not know what to think, or how to feel. How could she do this to him? How could she take another mate and conceive a child that was not his, especially after they had found out they could be together.

"Who… who's the father?" he stammered out, half of him not there. Had his long wait and this battle been for nothing? Was Kahlan no longer his?

"Who?" Cara knitted her eyebrows together and her brow furrowed in confusion.

Chase shook his head and laughed softly. "Who do you think, you knucklehead… you!"

"Me? But... but how?"

Cara and Chase exchanged an amused look. "What do you think was going to happen when you slept with her?" the Mord'Sith chuckled.

"But… it… not possible… not with that early after she gave birth," Richard stammered, not knowing why he was trying to deny being the father. He had always thought it was impossible for a woman to become with child so soon after giving birth.

Zedd and Verna came down from the dune, his grandfather limping a bit. The old wizard placed a hand on his shoulder. "Bags, Richard, you must not be as smart as I had thought," he guffawed, slapping him on the back. "Judging by how long it has been, I'd say she's close to giving birth to your first born."

"What!" Richard clutched the figurine tighter to his chest. He'd missed Kahlan so much that he had not even thought about the possibility of returning to find her with child. He had thought they would have a little more time before that.

"Yes," Chase nodded knowingly. Being a father himself, he'd seen his wife with child many times, and he understood such things better than Richard. "The same thing happened to me and Emma after Laura was born. We were not expecting it, but Darla told us it could happen. And… well, it did."

"Then… then Kahlan and I are having a child," Richard sounded out the words. His lips curled into a smile at the thought of a little girl that was a combination of him and Kahlan.

His chest swelled with a happiness he had not felt in a long time. It was rare when one of your wishes came true and he could hardly believe that two of his deepest wishes had come true; he had the love of a beautiful and amazing woman, and they were going to have a child. Spirits, he wanted to savor this moment. But then his eyes grew wide as his mind caught up with his heart and he remembered what Zedd had said.

"You said she's close to giving birth?" Richard questioned, his voice laced with uncontrolled emotion.

Zedd inclined his head, his hazel eyes looking out at the others, slightly concerned. "If she was as far along as I suspected last time I saw her, then yes."

Not bothering to respond, Richard quickly tucked the figurine into his vest pocket and started rushing in the direction of Aydindril. The others cried out from behind him, but he was deaf to them. All he could think about was that Kahlan was alone and with child. She was probably already going into labor and was terrified that he was not there with her. She needed him! Spirits, he did not want to miss the birth of their first born. He'd been there for Ashley's birth, and damn it, he wanted to be there for all the births that would follow.


	46. Race

**Chapter 46 – Race**

Kahlan let out a groan as Darla helped her down from the horse. The old woman had been advising her against riding, but Kahlan had been ignoring it. She had been this heavy with child when she had ridden into Westland in search of Richard… spirits, it seemed so long ago. She missed Richard deeply. Her heart ached from the lack of his presence. But above all else, she wanted him to be with her when she gave birth to their child. It only seemed right. And she wanted it to be so. He had been there for the birth of her first born, and Ashley was not even his child. Richard just _had_ to be with her when she gave birth to _their_ child. Kahlan prayed the good spirits would allow it. They had been so cruel to them in the past; they just had to show them some kindness after everything the two of them had to suffer just to finally be together.

After dismounting, Kahlan placed her hands on her swollen belly and sucked in deep breaths. She was beginning to worry that she had been wrong in thinking she could make it to Richard in time. Already she was feeling the pains in her sides that were early signs of the labor to come. Her water had yet to break, so she found some comfort in that. Kahlan would suffer through as long a labor as possible if it meant she could get to Richard before the time came to give birth.

Looking up, Kahlan watched as the men busied themselves. This time she had been unable to sneak away without being noticed. The Council of the Midlands wanted to make sure that the Mother Confessor and the future confessor she carried within were protected. So, in addition to Darla, there was a whole squadron of Aydindril's best troops protecting her. The council had even sent Captain Stephen Kandon, the guard's commander, with them.

Kahlan had thought it was foolish to send the commander of the city guard; surely he was needed in Aydindril to oversee the city's defense, instead of looking after the wayward Mother Confessor. However, she had been too intent on going to her beloved that she was not in the mood to argue with them. In the long run, it seemed to help them having the troops with them. They were able to move more quickly through the lowlands, and acquire supplies much easier than if they had been alone.

As she watched the men move about, Kahlan caught Darla looking at her with a knowing gaze. "How far apart are the pains?" the midwife inquired.

Kahlan swallowed and tried putting on her confessor's face. "I… I don't know what you are talking about," she pushed out a lie.

Darla gave a soft laughed and shook her head. "You have no practice lying, dearie? So why try?"

Knitting her eyebrows together, Kahlan lowered her head. "I… I just don't want to stop," she asserted. "I want to get to Richard. I need him, Darla." She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "I need him so much."

"Aye, I know, Kahlan," Darla reassured her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Richard is indeed and lucky man to have earned the love of a woman such as you."

Kahlan tilted her head up and brushed her hair away from her face, giving a soft smile at the compliment. "Thank you," she murmured softly.

Darla gave a nod and winked, giving her arm a comforting squeeze. She turned and watched as the men prepared a spot for the Mother Confessor in a secluded spot hidden behind a clump of trees. Captain Kandon came over and bowed his head, ready to assist the Mother Confessor over to the spot the men had made for her.

As she accepted the captain's hand, Kahlan grimaced and shivered, feeling a wetness run down her leg. Her eyes grew wide in panic and she looked over at Darla. The midwife had noticed it and gave a nod.

"Yes, it is time, dearie," she said, gripping Kahlan's other hand. Darla glanced past Kahlan to Captain Kandon. "You look young and fit, lad, I need you to carry her the rest of the way. And quickly."

The captain looked uneasy and gazed down at Kahlan. "Mother Confessor?" he questioned.

Kahlan opened her mouth and let out a gasp as the labor pains started. She looked up at the captain and gave a nod of confirmation. Not waiting a second longer, the captain swooped her up in his arms. Kahlan put her arms around his neck to help, and closed her eyes as the shift in position caused the pain in her sides to intensify.

"Clear way!" Captain Kandon called out, and the men backed away, allowing him to rush forward, holding the Mother Confessor in his arms.

Darla came waddling after him, clutching her bag to her chest. Kahlan clenched her jaw together trying to suppress the pain, but it was growing worse. She felt hot tears running down her cheeks. Worry started to creep into her mind. Was something wrong? Spirits, she did not know what she would do if she lost the baby now, after carrying it for so long. It would be devastating to finally carry Richard's child to only lose it now. She bit her lower lip and prayed to the good spirits to see to it that her child came into this world free of any harm.

"Richard," she whimpered to the wind, calling for her love, crying softly as the captain placed her down on the bedding the men had created for her. "Oh, Richard. I… I need you."

"Shh, calm yourself, dearie," Darla's hand was on her forehead, brushing back her hair. "You need to save your strength."

Kahlan blinked, but could not stop her tears. She wanted Richard here with her now! Her heart was pounding with the need to have him by her side. Her hand groped wildly around in the empty air searching for his. Kahlan wanted to hold his hand, to feel his presence beside her. Spirits, she could not do this alone. She needed him… she needed the man she loved.

XXX

Richard was not being kind to the horse; its neck was lathered in sweat and it was panting heavily. He patted its side and whispered an apology, but he needed to get to his beloved before it was too late. Their only stop had been in Renwold, and that had been to acquire the horses and catch a few hours rest. It had been difficult for him to sleep, knowing that Kahlan was most likely going into labor, not to mention that Nicci was still out there somewhere and a danger to his beloved.

He had hardly slept after Renwold, pushing his mount to near exhaustion long into the evening, before coming to a stop to rest just enough for the horse to gain back some of its strength. He'd long ago pulled ahead of the others. They had tried to keep up with him, but it was difficult with how fast he had been pushing on. He did not mind. He was not in the mood for any company. Nothing was going to stay his burning need to get to Kahlan. Nothing was going to stop him. Nothing!

Hearing the news that she was carrying his child had been a shock and a joy at the same time. But it also gave him the strength and resolve that was needed to rush headlong ahead with little consideration for anything else. His resolve was unwavering and his focus set. He would get to Kahlan before she gave birth… he just had to! She needed him, he could feel it in his gut. And he knew it in his heart. Kahlan was calling for him and he was not there. So he had to get to her and be with her. She was his world and Richard was not going to stop until he was with her once again.


	47. Conspiring Fates

**Chapter 47 – Conspiring Fates**

A cry resounded throughout the clearing as Kahlan groped blindly at the empty air to her side, murmuring for the hand of the man she love, but could not find. She laid back down on the bedding the men had created for her and sobbed softly as the intervals between her contractions decreased, signaling the rapid approach of the arrival of her child. She had been struggling against the labor pains for almost five hours, wishing that Richard would somehow miraculous appear in that time, but he had not. Having him suddenly appear was too much to ask for, and she knew it. Her luck had never been that good.

The fates had been conspiring against her ever since she was born. Firstly, she lost her mother when she was young and discovered what a monster her father really was. Then, when she was taken to Thandore and raised by the Sisters of the Light, she learned that she could never marry for love, because her confessing powers would destroy the man she loved if she touched him. Kahlan had been afraid to even touch anyone after she learned that, fearing that she would accidentally confess someone she cared about.

The world had then spun even further out of control when Darken Rahl started his campaign to control all the Midlands. He sent out quads to hunt down and kill the confessors. Kahlan had been in Aydindril with Dennee when the word went out that the D'Harans had begun killing confessors. It was terrifying, hearing that her order was being hunted down and massacred. It was nothing sort of genocide. Dennee got the Book of Counted Shadows from the Wizard's Keep and told her they had to go find the First Wizard, rumored to have gone into hiding behind the great boundary blocking off Westland from the rest of the territories.

So, Kahlan went on the run with her sister. Fate snatched her sister from her, an arrow embedding itself in her back as the D'Haran quad chased them. Kahlan had to leave her and take up the quest to find the First Wizard and the Seeker of Truth on her own. And then, once she had made it through the boundary and into Westland, something had happened that she had not expected: She met a man and it was love at first sight. Though, at first, when she glared into his warm brown eyes, trying to judge whether or not he was a threat, she had tried to deny the skip of her heart when she looked at him. She was a confessor, and on a mission, she did not have the time to be distracted by a handsome face.

Kahlan did what she had been trained to do. She buried those feelings down and ran from him, not wanting to tempt fate. Nothing could have prepared her for when she finally found the First Wizard, Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander, and then discovered that the man that had made her heart thump in her chest like no other was the true Seeker. She wanted to deny it, knowing what happened to Seekers; how sort their lives were, but the wizard assured her that Richard Cypher was the one and true Seeker of Truth.

Fate, what a monster it was. It brought her back to the man she had dreamed of, and allowed feelings to stir in her heart. And it had become clear very early that his heart yearned for her as well. Love. It was something she was taught and trained never to expect, never to think of. But there it was. It had been painful watching as his love for her grew, knowing that if she acted on her own feelings for just one moment, relaxing her guard, she would confess him and destroy the very man she had come to love. They had both suffered in silence.

And then the day came when they completed their quest and rid the world of Darken Rahl. Richard promised her that now that they were free of that burden, he was going to search for a way for them to be together. And she knew he meant it. He had had many opportunities and offers from other women, but he did not stray. He stayed by her side, willing to be chaste with her and deny the pleasures of the flesh until he could share them with her. If she had ever doubted his love, when he had made they bold declaration, Kahlan then knew she had found a man worthy of everything she had. She would have gladly forsaken her powers and responsibilities as the Mother Confessor to be with him.

But fate, the devil that it was, interfered with their happiness yet again. The veil between the world of the living and the world of the dead had been torn, and the Keeper was sending his minions out of the Underworld to conquer the living and bring the world in darkness. Kahlan had relented to Richard and Zedd's worries and went to Aydindril to restore order and help protect the Midlands during this crisis. And it was there, in Aydindril, while Richard hunted for the Stone of Tears to seal the rifts, that she had betrayed her love for Richard by taking a mate and conceiving a child.

Kahlan and Richard had been through much since then, the agony and torment of those days still fresh in her mind. But when they had finally reconciled and made love… oh, it was glorious. Kahlan wished she could have stayed in that wayward pine forever and simply lived the rest of her life without any cares. Yet fate would not have it so. It had to steal Richard from her, and make her betray him yet again by making him put a collar on, knowing how much he hated such things from when the Mord'Sith Denna had held him captive. He had left with the Sisters of the Light, leaving her alone with only her memories of her time with him… and a surprise she had not had the time to tell him about.

Tears sprung anew from her eyes as she thought of all this, remembering the day when she sent him away, and calling his name, wanting him to know that she was carrying his child. But he would not look back. He had been heartbroken and devastated. Now, she was alone, without him, and in the rigors of birthing his child. As she laid there, suffering through the agony of her labor, Kahlan sobbed softly, thinking of her beloved, wondering if the others had found him and told him of her condition. Would he forgive her and come back to her? She hoped he would, but she wondered if fate would even grant her such luck, when it had been so unkind to her for most of her life.

As the contractions increased, Kahlan tried pressing her legs together, closing off the exit her child would seek, not wanting her to come yet. The tears that ran down her cheeks were hot and seemed to be like fire as they streamed out her eyes, burning her skin. She cried and wailed at the blinding pain, wanting nothing than for Richard Cypher, the man she loved and the father of her yet unborn child, to be by her side. But without him there, she had nothing to grab on to, to keep her sane. Kahlan clutched at her enlarged belly, feeling herself shudder and tremble, and just sobbed from it all.

Darla was at her side, trying to calm her, using a wet washcloth to wipe her warmed and sweaty forehead. The troops all looked uneasy and several had turned their backs, not wanting to see the Mother Confessor in such agony. Only Captain Kandon stayed close, ready to assist the midwife when called upon. His eyes were downcast and he looked grieved to be seeing the Mother Confessor suffer all alone. Even though he was just standing there, his presence was not missed. Kahlan was grateful for that much, though she never expressed it. The midwife's hand drifted down and rested on top of Kahlan's middle, pressing down softly as she felt around for the child within.

"The child as moved," Darla spoke quietly with a nod. "It is time."

"No…," gasped Kahlan, shaking her head and closing her legs tight. "No… not without Richard. Richard… he… he has to be here!"

Darla nodded sympathetically and placed a hand on Kahlan's shoulder. "I know, dearie," she smiled sadly. "But it cannot be helped. If we wait any longer, we may lose both the baby and you, as well."

Kahlan swallowed past the lump in her throat and closed her eyes, letting the tears run rivers down her face. She gave a hesitant nod. It was barely noticeable, but the old midwife saw it. Darla gave Kahlan one more reassuring squeeze on the shoulder and scooted down towards Kahlan's legs.

"You! Captain, support her back," Darla instructed.

Captain Kandon knelt down behind Kahlan and allowed her to rest her back against his chest. He tentatively placed his hands on her shoulders to help support her as she let out a scream as her pains increased. Her chest was heaving with the weight of it all. Giving birth to Ashley had been difficult, but she had had Richard there with her. Not having him here, for the birth of his own child, was going to be difficult, both mentally and physically. Though she knew she would get over the physical part of it, Kahlan doubted if she could ever recover from the anguish of Richard missing the birth of his first born.

Darla's hands tenderly rubbed her legs and she looked up at her. "Relax, Kahlan," she gently instructed. "Release the tension in your legs."

Kahlan sucked in a breath and did as commanded. She was not going to allow her own stubborn need to have Richard here with her result in any harm to befall his child… their child. Darla gently guided Kahlan's legs apart and helped place them in the appropriate position for giving birth. Kahlan leaned back into Captain Kandon and began breathing in quick pants, remembering how Richard had instructed her to do so when she had given birth to Ashley.

She watched through watery eyes as Darla rolled her dress up past her knees to check on her. The midwife gave a nod and placed a comforting hand on Kahlan's leg. "You are fully dilated, Kahlan," she said. "It is time. Push."

Kahlan clenched her jaw and arched her back as she screamed out the first push. She remembered the pressure and pain when she gave birth to Ashley, but she was still not prepared to feel it again. She sucked in a breath and pushed again when commanded. Her mind, though consumed with the agony of the birthing process, still managed to drift towards thoughts of Richard. In between the struggles of pushing his child out, she would murmur his name, wanting part of him to be here, if not in person, then in spirit. She wanted him to be a part of this, even if he was not physically here.

She lost count of the number of times Darla told her to push, but eventually, after some sheering pain and all the agony she could bear, she heard a loud wail issue out from between her legs. Kahlan lean back against Captain Kandon and tried to catch her breath, as all the pain seemed to melt away as she focused on the cries of her and Richard's baby. Darla took some swaddling cloth and when she sat back up she had a little bundle in her arms.

"You have a very healthy baby girl, dearie," Darla smiled and she passed the little bundle into Kahlan's arms.

Kahlan laughed softly, knowing that Darla did not truly understand what Kahlan was and the fact that she would most likely always give birth to daughters. She wished she never gave birth to a boy, knowing what would then have to be done. Thankfully, though, her first child with Richard was a girl and safe from such a fate. Clutching the little infant close to her breast, Kahlan shifted the cloth away from the tiny wailing beet red face. She reached down and caressed her daughter's cheek with her fingers, and to her surprise the baby stopped her wailing. Her little mouth twisted into something resembling a smile and her eyelids opened, staring up at her mother.

A soft cry of joy escaped her lips when she saw brown eyes staring up at her. Joyous tears ran down her cheeks as her daughter cooed and nuzzled up against her breast. Kahlan ran her fingers through her daughter's mass of dark hair, laughing and sighing with relief and happiness. Her daughter looked so much like Richard. Fate seemed to have decided to be kind to her and give her this. Kahlan could not believe it. She hugged her daughter close and kissed her forehead, whispering her love and the love of the father who may not even know of her yet, but would love her just the same when they finally met.


	48. Chance Encounter

**Chapter 48 – Chance Encounter**

Plowing through the brush, Richard was reckless in his rush to get to his beloved. An hour ago his horse had collapsed under the sheer amount of exertion he had placed on it, and he was now on foot. He did not know if the poor animal was alive or dead; he did not have the heart to put it out of its misery. He hoped it did not suffer to much, it had brought him so far. From his best guess he was about halfway to Aydindril, and it would take him a couple more weeks to get there, longer still if he could not find another horse. The others would probably catch up to him now, though it might take them two or three more days to do so.

As he continued through the trees, he began to recognize some landmarks. He had come this way before. It looked to him that he was close to Stocroft, on the other side of the Kern river, to be sure, but close just the same. There should be a well trodden path around here somewhere, he had used it before. He remembered using it when they were returning from the Pillars of Creation after placing the Stone of Tears there and defeating the Keeper.

Richard stopped to catch his breath. He leaned against a tree trunk and heaved in air, giving his body some much needed rest. Wiping his sweaty brow, he looked around him, trying to get more of an idea as to his bearings. He glanced up through the canopy of branches and leaves, gazing up at the sun, trying to judge which direction was west. Licking his dry lips and looked right, remembering a large rock formation that he could just about make out. If he went that way he would definitely come across the path. That would make his journey to Aydindril easier.

Pushing himself away from the tree, Richard gripped the hilt of the sword in his hand to steady it as he went running through the brush. It was almost like he was in an unending marathon. He knew he should be exhausted, but the thought of Kahlan alone was enough to sustain him and give him the determination he needed. He had to get to her. He just prayed he was not too late to miss the birth of their child.

Once he reached the rock formation, Richard decided he needed some rest. He would not do Kahlan any good if he was too weak and tired to defend her. It was not just the fact that she was most likely struggling with being so heavy with child and not having him there, but the fact that some dark purpose seemed bent on driving them apart. Every time they became close they were torn away from one another. First it had been her powers, then it had been the bloody Keeper and his quest to destroy all life. Not to mention the anguish and hurt he had felt when he had returned to Aydindril triumphant to find her heavy with another man's child. But that had almost seemed insignificant with the pain he had felt when she had commanded him to put on the collar.

Richard slumped down on the rocks, using them as a seat. He regretted much of what had happened during that time. How could he believe Kahlan did not love him? She had risk her life and the life of her yet unborn child to come to him in Westland. She had then run away when she thought that he did not love her. His heart had nearly broken with grief when he had returned to the cabin to find that she had left in the middle of the blizzard. His love for her had then taken complete control of him, and he had gone running blinding into the storm to find her.

He had nearly collapsed with grief when he had found her lying at the bottom of a hill, blood caking around the nasty cut in the back of her head. It had taken all his strength to carry her to a wayward pine and he was still amazed at how the night wisp had come to help. Kahlan truly did not know how lucky she had been. But what had astonished him most of all was how he was able to heal her. He could still not believe that he had magic and could even use it. The only magic he was used to wielding flowed from the sword resting in the scabbard attached to his belt.

Richard brooded over these things for some time, taking slow and steady breaths, calming his heated body until he started to feel more relaxed. By the time he set out again, the sun was beginning its descent. He found the path in no time and started jogging along it. Richard began to hope that he would encounter some traveling merchants or traders, and perhaps get a lift, or even, somehow—he had no coin—purchase a horse from them.

He stopped all of a sudden when he heard a scream resound throughout the woods. He stood stark still and listened intently. His heart went wild in his chest as a loud wail sound came again. Spirits, it sounded like an infant. Without thinking, he turned towards the cries and went plunging into the surrounding forest. About a minute or two after the cries had started they stopped and it was quiet. Richard stood still, his chest heaving as he focus all his attention on the direction the cries had been coming from.

Slowly, he moved along in the direction he believed the crying had come from. Richard roamed the woods for about twenty minutes until he came upon another path. He squinted and looked around in the dimming light, seeing an orange glow in the distance. Shifting to a slow walk, not wanting to disturb anyone that may be lying in wait for unsuspecting travelers, he made his way across the path and towards the flickering orange light.

Pushing past the brush and low hanging branches, he carefully made his way up a hill. He came to an abrupt stop when he caught sight of movement out of the corner of his eyes. Dropping to his stomach, Richard flattened himself along the crest of the hill and rolled back behind a fallen tree. Slowly, he crept up and peeked over to see two soldiers making a patrol of a clearing. He was not sure, being twilight and all, but he thought he recognized the uniforms the men wore. And he thought they looked like D'Harans.

He squinted, looking past the sentries and spied about two dozen horses tethered not far away. The light from a fire was coming from the other side of the clearing, so Richard felt it was a safe bet that that was where their camp was. He knitted his eyebrows together and shook his head at himself, thinking that this might not be a good idea, but he needed a horse. And he had no qualms about stealing from D'Haran soldiers. It was dark, so he had that to his advantage.

Shifting to a crouch, he prepared to move when a blade came up to his throat. "Where do you think you're going?" came a deep voice.

Richard stopped dead in his tracks and closed his eyes, letting out a groan. He could not believe he had been caught. The man grabbed his arm and kept his blade near his throat as he ushered him down the slope of the hill and towards the clearing.

"Captain!" he called out.

Richard saw a shadow and the light of the fire was blocked for a moment, then a tall man appeared. He narrowed his eyes and examined the man. Richard raised his eyebrows in shock. He had been wrong about these men, they were not D'Harans. Their uniforms were not black or red, but a dark grey with a gold threaded symbol sewn on their chest. It was still too dark for him to fully make out the symbol, but he let out a sigh of relief just the same. Once these men saw his sword they might be willing to help. Any soldier that was not a D'Haran would be thankful to the Seeker for helping to defeat Darken Rahl.

"What is it?" the captain inquired, as he adjusted his cloak to grip the hilt of his sword, giving Richard a hard stare.

"I found this man snooping around the edge of the clearing, sir," the soldier who had captured him said. "He has a hard look about him."

"Yes, indeed he does," the captain agreed with a nod. He stroked his chin. "But I don't think he'll be much of a danger to us. He looks warn out and exhausted. He's probably a thief on the run from someone."

"I'm no thief," Richard spoke up, then bit his lower lip when he realized it had come out more as a snarl than anything else.

The captain narrowed his eyes. "Then what are you?" he inquired.

Richard opened his mouth, intent on telling them to look at his sword, when a voice called out from the other side of the clearing. It was so sweet and serene that Richard would have dropped to his knees if the man had not been holding him up. The captain turned and Richard noticed that even the guard holding him seemed determined to listen to the voice. Taking advantage of the guard's lapse in concentration, Richard butted his elbow into the man's gut, causing the man to let go of him and fall to the ground with a groan.

The captain wheeled back, but was not quick enough. Richard ran past the horses and turned around to face the fire, then stopped dead in his tracks with the sight before him. A beautiful woman with radiant features and long flowing hair sat gently against the trunk of a tree, a small bundle in her arms. She looked up, startled, her blue eyes shining light diamonds in the firelight. Her mouth dropped and her eyebrows grew wide in shock.

"Ka—!" before he could finished the guards tackled him from behind, pulling him to the ground with him. He struggled against them, but one of his attackers punched him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him.

The captain came rushing up. "My apologies, Mother Confessor," he said. "We think he's a thief. The patrols caught him—"

"He is no thief!" came a commanding voice that was music to Richard's hears. "Release him."

"Mother Confessor?" the captain questioned, sounding worried.

"You heard me! Release him!"

"Yes, Mother Confessor," the captain turned to the men holding Richard down. "You heard her, release him…," he then lowered his voice and continued, "but be wary, I don't want him harming the Mother Confessor."

Richard laughed inwardly at the man's orders. Oh, he was going to attack the Mother Confessor, that much was sure, but in an entirely different manner than this soldiers were thinking. The men grumbled, but did as they were told, pulling him up and released him. Richard coughed and clutched his middle. He might have broken a rib when he had been tackled, he wasn't sure.

The men parted and he came face to face with the beautiful woman once again. Her eyes watered and tears came pouring down her face. He noticed a smaller woman standing next to her, holding a little infant in her arms. He narrowed his eyes, believing he recognized the wrinkled face smiling up at him. Before he could move, he was tackled again, not by any soldiers this time, but by the woman he loved.


	49. Soul Fusion

**Chapter 49 – Soul Fusion**

"RICHARD!" she cried out as she wrapped her arms around him, then rammed her mouth against his before he could respond.

Richard moaned in deep pleasure at having the woman he loved back in his arms and he quickly hugged her close, returning her kiss and taking in her scent. Oh, how he loved her scent.

"Kahlan," he murmured her name softly when they broke their kiss to catch a breath. He brought his hands up and ran his fingers through her beautiful raven hair. "I… I love you… so much."

He blinked and looked down, confusing creasing his face as he took in the fact that she did not look to be heavy with child. Was she really not as far along as Zedd had believed or was it all just a misunderstanding amongst the others? She had been holding an infant when he first glimpsed her, perhaps that was just Ashley. Richard opened his mouth to inquire about it but stopped, noticing how his beloved was taking in his appearance.

Kahlan was sobbing softly and running her hands down his face, her eyes wandering all over his features. Her breath came out in quick pants and she kept clutching at him desperately as if he was a figment of her imagination. Richard chuckled softly and swept her up in his arms again, ignoring his question for a moment to simply embrace the woman he loved and reassure her that it was really him and not a dream. He cupped her cheek in his hand and affectionately caressed her creamy skin with the pad of his thumb.

"It's me, Kahlan… it's really me," he purred slowly before pulling her in for a long and tender kiss.

"Oh, Richard," she whimpered softly, placing her hands on his chest and leaning into him. "I… I was worried you would never forgive me for sending you away. That I'd never get to see you again."

"Shh, don't worry," Richard held her tight, allowing her to rest her head on his chest as she poured out all her worries in the form of quiet tears. "I know why you did what you did… I know that you love me and never stopped loving me." He pushed her back gently to look down into her tear stained eyes. "As I never stopped loving you."

He kissed her forehead and moved his hand into his vest pocket. Kahlan watched in rapt attention as he pulled out her lock of hair, the memento she had sacrificed the pain of cutting her hair to give to him. "I kept it with me at all times, my love," he told her. "And looked at it every night before bed, thinking of you. And…," he reached back into his vest pocket, replacing the locks and retrieving the small wooden figurine. "I… I made this for you, my Kahlan, as proof of my undying love."

"Oh, Richard," Kahlan gasped, placing her delicate fingers around the small figurine as gazed at it. "It… it's beautiful."

"Of course it's beautiful," Richard boasted, chuckling softly. "But only because you were the inspiration."

She held it to her chest and looked up at him, giving him her special smile, the one she save only for him. "Thank you…," she pushed up on her toes and seized her lips with his, one of her hands come up to rub his neck and the back of his head as she did so. Richard moaned into her mouth and curled his lips into a smile when they backed away, resting their foreheads together and shared a breath.

"If this is how you greet me, perhaps I should go away more often," he joked.

Kahlan shook her head. "No… I don't want to be parted from you ever again," she replied, not registering what he had said as a joke. He gave a nod and ran his hand down her arm until their hands met. Intertwining their fingers together, Richard lead forward and kissed her forehead, reassuring her that he was only jesting.

She took a deep breath and clutched the figurine to her breast. When she looked up into his eyes, Richard almost lost his breath with the depth of love he saw reflecting back at him. "There is someone who wants to meet you, Richard," Kahlan beamed, gripping his hand tightly and turning to pull him back toward the campfire.

The soldiers all stood back and began going about their duties, now content that this intruder into their camp meant no harm and was, in fact, the very man they had been searching for. Richard looked over and gave a nod of gratitude to the captain, thanking him for looking after Kahlan. When Richard turned back around he came face to face with an old woman her recognized.

"Darla!" he let out a startled breath. "What are you doing here?"

"My duties, what else?" she smirked. She held up the little bundle, passing it to Kahlan, who shifted the figurine around so that she could hold the baby.

The Mother Confessor seemed to glow like the stars themselves, and turned back to face him, her smile infectious. Inching closer to him, she leaned against his side as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and looked down at the bundle in her arms. "This is our daughter, Richard," she said softly, her voice laced with raw emotion, a single tear trailed down her cheek. "Conceived on the very day you made love to me for the first time."

He felt his heart thump in his chest with the magnitude of what he was hearing. What Zedd and the others had said was true. Kahlan had been carrying his child. He pang of sadness swept over him as he realized that he had missed the birth, but he shock that away, determined to focus his attention on the present. It was no good to worry about the past and things that could not be changed. Richard shifted, reaching over with his free hand to adjust the swaddling cloth to get a get look at the little sleeping face.

His mouth dropped in awe as he stared down. "She looks like me," was the only thing he could say as he heart hammered in his chest.

"I know, isn't it great?" Kahlan almost squealed in delight. "Oh, and she has your eyes, Richard. She has your eyes!"

Richard caressed the infant's cheek with his finger and smiled when the little babe stirred into his touch, a tiny funny lucking smile forming on her little lips. He clenched his jaw tight as tears started to manifest in his eyes. All the worry and grief he had been carrying around with him for the past couple of weeks just melted away and he let go, allowing himself to cry with joy at finding his beloved, safe and sound, with a baby in her arms that was theirs.

"We made this," he murmured softly, still in awe at the new life he was staring at. "This… this is us..."

Kahlan eased into him, and lovingly kissed his cheek. He smiled and ran his fingers along his daughter's face, enjoying the feel of her soft new skin under his fingertips. He tussled her mass of brown hair and grinned. He turned and looked over at Darla. "Thank you," he said softly.

The old midwife grinned broadly. "It was the least I could do for my favorite young man, Richard Cypher," Darla replied, patting his arm and giving a wink.

He gave a nod and yawned. Kahlan took notice and frowned. "Oh… Richard, you must be exhausted," she almost sounded in a panic, as if his exhaustion meant she was going to lose him. "Come…," she beckoned him to follow her. Richard needed little encouragement in that regard and willingly followed the love of his life over to the fire and the bedroll that had been laid out for her.

Kahlan adjust their daughter in her arms as she knelt before her pack and careful placed the figurine inside. She looked up at him, her blue eyes sparkling and her mouthed a silent thank you. Richard grinned, pleased that she liked the carving he had worked so hard and long on. After he eased down onto the bedroll, he helped her down. She smiled and passed him their daughter. He held the little babe gently and softly kissed her tiny forehead. Kahlan reached down and pulled a blanket over them as they leaned back against the bedding. Richard cradled their daughter in his arms, listening to the soft cooing she made as she slept. Spirits, he was in awe of her. She was part of him and part of Kahlan. And she was gorgeous.

Tilting his head, he looked over at Kahlan and smiled sadly. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

She knitted her eyebrows together. "For what?"

"For missing her birth."

Kahlan swallowed and shook her head, inching closer to him. "You… you have no reason to be sorry for anything Richard," she replied, averting her eyes for a moment. "It was all my fault. I… I should have insisted on coming with you."

"No," Richard gave a shake of his head, and shifted his hold on their daughter, freeing up on hand so he could reach out and hold Kahlan's face. "If you had come with me, then you would have been in danger… spirits, you might still be in danger."

Her brow creased in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Richard took a quick breath. He was still a little overwhelmed with everything, but his main reason for pushing himself so hard was to reunite with Kahlan and protect her from the threat posed by the Sisters of the Dark. "The Palace of the Prophets was not the paradise that the Sisters made it out to be," he explained. "There are factions and divisions amongst the Sisters. The worse of it is that some of them have strayed from the Creator and… and worship the Keeper."

Kahlan gasped. "How could they worship Him?" was all she could question. Richard understood how she felt. She had lived with some Sisters of the Light in the Thandore for a period of her youth.

"I think it has something to do with power," he said, shrugging. "Or it could be something else, I don't know. Whatever the reason, their service to him seems to come with gifts. As in magical abilities. Sister Nicci, the leader of this group of dark Sisters, has abilities far beyond anything I have seen from either Zedd or any other wizard. And… and they think that killing you will somehow permanently tear the veil and allow the Keeper free reign in the world of the living."

Kahlan took a deep breath and shuddered next to him. He caressed her cheek and looked deeply into her eyes. "I won't let that happen, Kahlan," he assured her with a firm voice. "Nothing is going to make me leave your side ever again. I am here to stay."

She sniffled, swallowing past a lump in her throat. "Then… then you'll still have me, even after I reconciled with you after betraying you by having another man's child to only then send you away with strangers?"

"Oh, Kahlan," he murmured, running his free hand through her long silky hair, slightly amused at her fears. "I love you more than anything. You never betrayed me by taking a mate. I know that now. You never gave your heart to him; it was always mine. Throw away any doubts and fears you might have, my Kahlan… my beautiful Kahlan, because I plan on making you mine forever."

Kahlan smiled softly and moved closer to him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She squeezed closer and draped one arm around his middle. Shifting over him, she leaned forward and kissed him sweetly. "Oh, my Richard, my heart has belonged to you and you alone since the day we first met," she purred into his ear. "I will gladly become yours forever."

Richard moved his free hand down under the blankets and sought out hers. He gripped it tightly, entwining their fingers together. Kahlan closed her eyes and smiled as he brought her hand up to his lips as he gave it a delicate kiss. He opened his lips and blew a warm breath across her fingers and murmured an incantation he had taught himself in secret while trapped at the Palace of the Prophets. He had practiced long and hard on this particular spell and as he watched it take hold, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was the right thing to do, because it could not work unless they were both willing.

He watched as Kahlan closed her eyes and shivered. Her mouth dropped open as she let out a low moan of pleasure. When the spell was complete, he smiled and kissed her hand again. "Open your eyes, my love," he instructed.

Kahlan did as he told her and her eyebrows shot up in wonder. "Richard…?" she gasped, staring at her finger that now had a gold band on it. Her eyes scanned up and immediately saw that his finger had a gold band on it as well. "What? How?"

"I love you, Kahlan," Richard responded. "That's all I ever needed." He smirked. "Well, that and a little coaching on how to harness the right amount of magic and a lot of practice at speaking the correct pronunciation of the spell."

"Oh, I bet you stayed up late into the night practicing this one," she giggled giddily, unable to take her eyes off the ring on her finger.

"You have no idea," Richard attested, staring up at the stars remembering all those late nights he had recited the incantation.

"So…," she murmured, cuddling up beside him, resting her head on his chest, just above his heart. "Does this mean we're married now?"

"Yes, that's exactly what it means," Richard let out a breath and arched his neck to look down at her. "What I just did was _and_ is called a soul fusion. It's an ancient rite dating back to the first wizards, when they were starting to create laws to govern the use of their Hans. According to the accounts I read at the Palace of the Prophets, the spell would not have worked if either one of us was not fully committed to the other. You see, besides just manifesting rings on our fingers, it quite literally binds our souls together… in a sense, creating one being out of two. And as I said, it can only be done when both individuals involve truly love the other with no doubts, misgivings, or hesitations."

"I have never had any doubts that I love you, Richard," Kahlan responded. "Even when I believed I was unworthy of your love… I still loved you."

Richard smiled. "The same with me, Kahlan," he replied. "My love never wavered, even when I thought it had… it had not." He paused. "So… by the laws of the first wizards, and in the eyes of the spirits and the Creator herself, we are now husband and wife." He paused and swallowed. "I hope that's all right. I don't know… would you have preferred a big elaborate ceremony instead?"

Kahlan shifted and looked up at him, beaming. "No… it was perfect," she murmured, a small mischievous grin forming on her lips. "Just you, me, and our baby as witness. Besides, I kind of like the idea of eloping."

Richard chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you can call it that."

"Yes… I like that a lot," she smiled. "So, Richard Cypher, as far as I am concerned, I am now your wife… and no one will tell me otherwise. And I will be so for all the days of my life and into the next."

"As I am your husband now and forever, my Kahlan…," Richard smiled, caressing the back of her head, running his fingers through her hair. "My beautiful Kahlan…" He leaned forward and kissed the top of her head. She smiled and closed her eyes.

"Now, husband," she smirked playfully, her eyes sparkling. "I'm going to have to tell you to get some sleep… you look exhausted. And if you're going to protect me and your daughter from these Sisters of the Dark, then you're going to need your rest."

Richard grinned. "Whatever you command, my wife."

Kahlan shifted over him and brought her lips to his, giving him a slow and loving kiss. She gave him her special smile, the one she saved only for him, and then moved back down to snuggle up close to him, resting her head on his chest. He smiled and looked down, watching as her hand snaked over his chest to caress their daughter, who laid snuggly in the crook of her father's right arm.

Richard let his head fall back against the bedroll and he looked up at the stars above. He felt a feeling of contentment he had not felt in ages. But there was a bit of sadness in his heart as well. There was another missing from this little group. Where was Ashley? He knew that she was not his by blood, but by everything that truly matters she was his. He shifted and looked down at Kahlan.

"Where's Ashley?" he asked.

Kahlan must have noticed the desperation in his voice, because she glanced up, looking startled. She yawned and blinked her eyes. "She's with Jenseen back in Aydindril… why?"

He narrowed his eyes and decided to tell her. "Back when I was in my quarters in the palace, I came to a decision," he informed her.

She gave a hesitant nod, looking worried.

"She's mine, Kahlan," Richard told her, easing her worries. "I love her just as much as I love you and our daughter… we don't have one daughter, Kahlan. We have two. Our family won't be complete until Ashley is with us."

Kahlan's mouth dropped and she stared up at him in awe. "Richard…," she spoke tentatively in a soft voice. "Oh, my Richard… you are truly a rare and wonderful man."

He smirked. "I know."

She gave him a playful punch in the shoulder and shifted to lay her head closer to his. She nuzzled his neck and planted soft kisses along his skin. "I love you, my Richard… and your _daughters_," she emphasized the word, now knowing how he felt about Ashley, "are truly blessed to have a father like you."

Richard chuckled. "Again… I know."

Kahlan shook her head and kissed his cheek. "All right, now stop being silly, and get some rest, Richard."

"Yes, of course, you're right," he nodded, smiling up at her. Richard tightened his arm around her and let his head fall back against the bedroll. His lips curled into a small smile as he closed his eyes, feeling the soft warm breath from his beloved as she buried her head in his shoulder. Slowly, he drifted off to sleep, content and happy with his wife and daughter in his arms.


	50. River Ponderings

**Chapter 50 – River Ponderings**

"We need a name."

"Huh?" Kahlan looked up and smiled, seeing Richard holding their daughter in his arms. He was standing by the tree line, sheepishly watching as she undressed.

"A name," he repeated, his eyes averting only for a second before returning to slowly drink in the sight of her naked flesh as she removed the last of her clothing. A small smile formed on her lips as she saw his cheeks flush and his warm brown eyes glow with burning desire and love for her.

In the past, Kahlan might have become extremely embarrassed standing so stark naked in front of him, but that had been before they had made love, before they had explored each other's bodies until those little expeditions exploded into a fierce and passionate meeting of their bodies that Kahlan would never forget. The heights of ecstasy he had brought her to were unimaginable. Her body still trembled from the memory of it. So, instead of blushing and trying to hide herself, as she would have in the past, Kahlan merely stood there and slowly spun around in a circle, giving him a good view, relishing the way Richard's eyes roamed her body. She giggled softly as he wetted his lips with is tongue as she turned to wade out into the river to begin her bathing.

"You know, I thought you were supposed to be keeping watch," she called back over her shoulder as she glimpsed him saunter out to walk along the riverbank, his eyes glued on the sway of her hips.

"I… I _am_ keeping watch," Richard smirked as he winked when she turned around to look up at him, giving him her special smile, and laughing as he openly stared at her chest. "And I'm liking what I see."

Kahlan covered her mouth as she giggled like a little girl, and this time she blushed, not from the way he stared so freely at her flesh, but from their playful banter. It made her feel giddy and young. No matter how undesirable or unattractive she sometimes thought she looked, Richard's eyes always held such burning lust and desire for her that Kahlan's insecurities would always evaporate away. From the shore, her man gave her a big boyish smirk, and then looked around for somewhere to sit. He cradled their daughter in his arms as he eased down onto a flat slab of stone, his eyes never once straying from her.

"You're glowing, do you know that?" he inquired, grinning.

She nodded absently as she splashed the cool water across her face before wading deeper into the river. When the water was waist high, she turned around and smiled lazily, catching his eyes drifting down to her breasts again.

"Hey!" Kahlan teased, snapping her fingers. "My eyes are up here." Inwardly she could care less if he just stared at her breasts, it made her feel attractive and desirable, when all she felt was bloated and fat. Waiting for him to respond, she bit her lower lip, worrying she had put on too much weight while being with child.

Then Richard gave a mock shake of his head like he was coming out of a trance and laughed. "Sorry… I was lost in your beauty… what were you saying?"

"I said my eyes are up here, buddy," she smirked, clearing her mind of her worries when all she saw was desire reflecting back in his warm brown eyes.

"Sorry," he said, giving a nod and tilting his head up so that his eyes met hers. "It seems so long," he continued, almost sadly. "I… I've missed you, Kahlan."

She lowered her eyebrows, suddenly feeling terrible for teasing him so, knowing that he was probably simmering with the need to push her to the ground and make fierce love to her. Spirits, she would not mind if he actually did that. Though, Kahlan knew that with it only being two days since she had given birth, it would most likely be uncomfortable, maybe even a little painful for her. However, she would gladly accept some discomfort if she could just be with him and give him the pleasure she always wanted to give him, as a wife should give a husband.

"I've missed you too, Richard," she replied softly, running her fingertips across the surface of the water.

Richard gave a nod, shifting their baby in his arms. "Continue your bathing…," his lips curled into a grin. "I'll just enjoy the view."

Kahlan gave him her special smile, the one she gave no one but him, then set to the task of cleaning herself in the cool river water. She sprinkled some water over her neck and down her chest, rubbing it into her skin, trying to get the dirt and grime from the day's travel out. A year or so ago, this entire situation would have been unthinkable, standing waist deep in a river as she bathed with Richard sitting on the bank watching her from afar. She would have been nervous and self-conscious, but not so much from being exposed and naked. More so from worrying about what Richard would think and whether or not she was pleasing to his eyes.

However, like all her other worries, those concerns had long since vanished, gone to the abyss of the past. Richard was no longer that man, the one who loved her from afar, able to look but never touch. He had touched her, tasted her, and been with her. Richard had filled the emptiness in her soul like no other could. He was quite literally her other half, and without him she was lost.

She smiled to herself as she continued cleansing her body of the dirt and grime, thinking of the two nights ago when they had "eloped," as she liked to call it. When they had awoken the following morning, Darla was the first to notice the rings. She gave them a questioning look, but made no inquiries, and simply gave them both a big hug.

Afterwards, as they packed up for the trip back to Aydindril, Richard questioned whether they should remain for a couple more days, to allow Zedd and the others to catch up. As much as Kahlan wanted to see her friends again, she would rather get back to Aydindril as fast as possible and get their baby to safety. Traveling along the wild roads of the Midlands was no place for a newborn. Once she brought that up, Richard quickly relented and agreed, saying that Aydindril had been their intended destination from the start and that the others would simply assume that was where he had rushed up to.

Kahlan waded deeper into the river as she thought of returning to Aydindril and her big bed. Smiling to herself, she imagined waking up in that big comfy bed, turning on her side and seeing Richard beside her, the sweaty dew of their long night of passionate lovemaking still coating his body. That was a sight she was yearning to see. Sinking down to neck level, she splashed water over her head, soaking her hair. Kahlan floated there for a while, looking back up at the riverbank, catching a glimpse of Richard gazing out at her with an entranced look, as if he was in the presence of the Creator herself. Her heart always fluttered at the sight of him and she could not help but smile at seeing him staring so lovingly at her.

Richard blinked and looked up, catching her smiling at him. They stared back at each other for a moment, their gaze saying more than words ever could. Their little moment was interrupted when the baby started crying. Richard raised his eyebrows and shrugged, then looked down, checking on their daughter. He backed his head away from the bundle in his arms quickly, his eyes squinting.

"I believe she needs a change," he said, standing, almost holding his daughter at arm's length. Kahlan made a move to come out of the river, wanting to tend to her daughter in her first days. She had not done so with Ashley, something she would always regret. "Kahlan, stay… you've earned some time to relax," Richard said, shaking his head at her. "I'll rush back to camp, clean and change this little stinker."

Kahlan took a slow breath and narrowed her eyes, but relented with a nod. Richard grinned broadly and winked. "I'll be back in a flash." She watched as he hurriedly made his way back to the tree line and then disappeared into the woods. Bobbing there in silence for a moment, Kahlan contemplated disobeying and getting out. Then she shook her head, deciding that Richard was right. Spirits, she'd suffered through all the pain of giving birth, she had earned the right to relax.

Taking a deep breath, Kahlan submerged herself under the water, rinsing her hair. Breaking back up through the surface, she found that she was still alone. _Back in a flash, yeah right_, she rolled her eyes. She floated there and listened to the sounds of the forest: The chirps of birds, the babble of squirrels, the buzz of insects, and the squawks of a crow somewhere off in the distance. It was relaxing, more so than being cooped up in the Confessor's Palace.

As she continued to cleanse her body of the dirt and grime from the day's travel, Kahlan smile to herself, feeling the metal band on her fingers rub against her skin as she ran her hands over her body. The metal was cold and cause gooseflesh to dance up her arms, making her shiver in delight at the feel of it as it touched her bare skin. She closed her eyes and basked in the feel of the ring on her finger and what it signified.

Never, in her entire life, could Kahlan have predicted that she would get to marry a man she loved. She had always been taught that she would never marry, not in the same sense as other women did, but rather she would simply take a mate. It was something she had done, much to her horror and regret. She still felt dirty from having laid with Dragen, and never thought that feeling of guilt would ever leave her, no matter how many times she made love to Richard and no matter how many children she bore him. She would always carry that feeling of betraying Richard with him.

Kahlan had only lain with two men in her life. One was for duty, and the other was for love. Both men had qualities that made them ideal for being the father of confessors, but only the second, the man she had always wanted to sacrifice her maidenhood to, but had not, was worthy of both her love and devotion. Kahlan had lain with Richard and become with child, as was her duty—like it had been with Dragen, but with Richard it was more than just for duty, it was by choice. And finally being able to be with him, of feeling their bodies become one, was almost too much for her to believe. She was almost afraid that she would wake up to find it had only been a wonderful dream and nothing more.

When she opened her eyes, she found that she was no longer alone. A muscular figure was standing in the shadows of the tree, gazing out at her. Kahlan's first instinct was to distance herself as far as she could from this intruder, but when he stepped out of the shadows, she relaxed. Then she noticed something and frowned.

"Where's the baby?" she questioned, watching as he removed his vest jacket.

"She's fine… I left her with Darla," Richard said, throwing his vest jacket over to the pile of clothing by the rocks.

Kahlan bobbed there in the water and watched with transfixed eyes as he lifted his shirt over his head and began unbuckling his belt. Licking her lips, she savored the sight of his bare chest, feeling her heart pound in beneath her breast as he pulled his trousers down. Her eyes flowed down the contours of his hard body. Richard tossed his trousers and boots over to the clothing pile and began to step down into the water.

"What are you doing?" she playfully asked, pretending to hide her eyes behind her hands. Though, in reality, she was relishing every second of this, unable to keep her eyes away from his groin, seeing how quickly he was becoming aroused at the sight of her in the water.

Richard's cheeks flushed and he dove into the water, swimming out to meet up with her. Breaking up through the surface right in front of her; he gave her a disarming smirk, wrapping his arms around her. "I thought I'd join you," he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Kahlan smiled, liking where his mind was going, and arched her head back to give him access as his lips descended upon her neck, kissing and sucking at her flesh. Her lips quivered in pleasure and parted, releasing a breathless moan as she felt her body respond to his ministrations. He gripped her tighter and she flushed as she felt his arousal brush against her thighs. Her whole body quivered with the burning need that seemed to coalesce between her legs, screaming to be sated. Kahlan shuddered with the sudden sensation of arousal, feeling it wash over her. It had been so long since she had felt such heated need; she had almost forgot what it felt like.

There was a tiny voice in the back of her mind, lecturing to her that this was not a good idea, that it was too soon after she had given birth to do anything this physical. It told her to take it slow and be satisfied with some heavy petting and kissing, but Kahlan was growing frustrated with the wait. She had been too long without the man she loved inside her. Her need to have him was almost desperate.

They had talked about it, of course. It had almost been one of the first things they had discussed in the morning after his return. It was a discussion Kahlan knew they needed to have, having glimpsed the intensity of his gaze the previous night. Richard had rubbed her arm affectionately, and reassured her that he could wait for Aydindril. But Kahlan had not believed him, because she knew her own desires were near the boiling point and she had been having difficulty maintaining them ever since he had returned to her. Kahlan did not know if she could survive the two agonizingly long weeks to Aydindril without the reassuring feeling of Richard moving above her as they made love.

For Kahlan, it was more than just a physical need, yet a more spiritual one to reunited and become one with the man she loved, the man she had pledged her heart and soul to forever. She knew it was probably not a good idea, that it would most likely hurt with it being so soon after giving birth, but in truth, Kahlan did not care. She would gladly suffer through whatever pain or discomfort that came with it, just as long as she could be with Richard.

Biting her lower lip, as she came back from her ruminations, she let out a soft moan as Richard continued kissing her neck, running his tongue up to her jaw line and dancing his lips over to hers. She closed her eyes as their mouths met in a fierce heated battle. Their kiss was so intense that they had to back away to fill their lungs least they pass out from lack of oxygen. Richard shifted, backing away and placing his hands on her shoulders as he tenderly rubbed her upper arms with his thumbs. He gazed down at her with a mixture of desire and concern.

"Kahlan…," he opened his mouth, his voice heavy with his want, yet still calm and collected. "I… I lied to you before. I can't wait until Aydindril."

"I know," was her response, averting her eyes for a moment.

He rubbed his fingertips along her collarbone, his eyes dropping to the swell of her breasts as they broke the surface when she took in a breath. "This probably isn't a good idea," he said, echoing her thoughts, as he slowly allowed his hand to drift down her chest to cup her breast. "But… I've missed you so much."

Kahlan sucked in a breath, feeling her heart skip beneath her chest as his other hand sunk beneath the water and found the warm spot between her legs. He stared at her, his warm brown eyes watching as her lips trembled and dropped, releasing a gasp as he stimulated her down there with his fingers.

"I… I _am_ in control," he murmured, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against hers. "If you want me to stop… I will."

Giving an absent nod, Kahlan intended on answering him, but she found it hard to think, let alone do anything else, with what his hand was doing between her legs. She sucked in a deep breath, trembling from the rapturous sensations his fingers were causing her. She closed her eyes, knowing he was awaiting her decision… and spirits, she had to give him one quickly.


	51. Pain and Release

*Longer than most, mainly because I couldn't find a place to break. Also, this chapter is rated M.

* * *

**Chapter 51 – Pain and Release**

"If you want me to stop… just say the word," Richard spoke up, still waiting for her response. "And I'll stop."

Kahlan sucked in a breath and shiver, feeling tingling sensations dance up her spine as her love continued to roll his hand around between her legs. His eyes watched her with interest, taking in every single movement she made, gagging how his ministrations were working. Her lips quivered slightly as she leaned forward, resting her forehead against his as she made her decision. She stared into his warm brown eyes, basking in the love that reflected back at her.

"No… don't stop," was her reply. "We… we've been husband and wife for two days now, and we've yet to consummate that union." She paused and brought her hands up to hold his face to hers as he momentarily ceased what he was doing between her legs. She bit her trembling lower lip and gazed into his eyes. "Make love to me, Richard," she pleaded in a soft whisper, filled with all the deep seeded passion she would always have for him. "Make love to me… right here, right now."

Pushing forward slightly, Kahlan planted a soft delicate kiss on his lips as she rocked her hips, encouraging his hand that was still between her legs to continue its expedition into the warmth it was discovering. Richard sucked on her lower lip as she backed away, his lust fogged brown eyes gazing deeply into hers, as he watched intently as he mouth dropped as she let out a soft gasp when he pushed his fingers into her. Kahlan swayed her hips and looped her arms around his neck as she kissed him. Above the surface, his armed moved vigorously as he moved his fingers around inside her, his thumb staying outside, gripping her special spot as he pleasured her with nothing but his hand.

Richard's other hand moved around to her back and held her as he moved them until their feet could touch the river bottom. Kahlan lightly placed her feet down, feeling the rocky bottom, but had trouble standing. Her knees were weak and her legs trembled from what Richard's hand was doing between them. He captured her quivering lips in his as his arm continued to move beneath the surface, causing the water to froth a bit with the power he used to pleasuring her. Kahlan gasped and groaned into his mouth, shiver with delight as their tongue met in a pitch battle that he easily one.

Slowly, as they backed away from their kiss to catch a breath, Kahlan tightened her grip around him, feeling her body tremble and quake from his ministrations. She buried her head into his shoulder and let out a silent moan that only he could hear, biting at his neck as soft tears rolled down her cheeks as his fingers reached deeper into her, the pleasure turning into discomfort and a slight pinching feeling she did not like. Richard stopped, feeling her tears and withdrew his fingers, bringing his other hand up to hold her shoulders.

"I… I'm sorry," he murmured. "Maybe he shouldn't do this. I… I don't want to hurt you, Kahlan. I only want to be you pleasure… not pain."

Kahlan shook her head, trying to wipe the tears from her eyes. Now without his hand down there stimulate her, she was able to stand more assuredly, so she gripped his hands in hers and brought them to her breasts. Richard gulped and lowed down, watching as the swell of her bosom broke the surface of the water with each single one of her breaths.

Richard narrowed his eyes and moved his hands away from her breasts, bringing them up to cup her face. He stared into her eyes. "So beautiful," he whispered softly, staring deeply into her eyes. "Oh, my Kahlan… I love you, so much." He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers and they shared a breath. "But… if being with you right now means that I'm going to hurt you, then I don't want to. I… I know you say you're willing, but I don't know… It… it's to soon."

Kahlan took a quick breath and looked up at him with big eyes, pouting. "I said I don't care, Richard… I want this. I want you inside me. I don't care about the pain… all I want is for our union to be consummated by our flesh."

She took his hands and brought the back to her chest, encouraging him to feel her soft flesh. Richard held her breasts in his shaking hands, his eyes looking worried and concerned that he was going to somehow break her. Kahlan rubbed his shoulders, reassuringly and kissed his forehead.

"I'm not going to break," she said. "For spirits sake, Richard, I've given birth to two girls, I can handle this. And… it is what I want."

Richard inhaled deeply and gave a nod, giving in to his passion for her. He slowly began to knead her breasts, tentatively teasing her nipples with his thumbs. Kahlan arched her back, giving him more access to feel her chest, relishing the feel of his fingers as they danced all over her, as if he was exploring her body for the first time. But he was still moving slowly and without any purpose. It was almost like he doubted the validity of her words. She clenched her jaw, annoyed at his worrying. Seeking to encourage him to take bold moves in his exploration of her body, Kahlan pressed herself flush against him, smiling when she felt his body respond to her aggressive encouragement.

Placing his hands on her shoulders, he eased her back a bit, looking down at her, his eyes still held too much concern and worry for her liking. Kahlan had to suppress the need to roll her eyes at this man. He had been the one to instigate this whole situation by joining her in the river, and now he was pulling back just after he had got her all hot and ready. How more clearly could she make herself?

Kahlan reached up and gripped his face in her hands. "If you're going to be my husband, then you are going to have to learn to listen to me when I speak," she spoke softly, forcing him to pay attention and hear every single one of her words. "And right now, Richard, your wife is telling you to make love to her. Don't keep her waiting."

Richard swallowed and gave a slight nod of his head. He moved his hands up to her face and held her still as he leaned down to kiss her. She pushed her tongue past his lips and deepened the kiss, making it as hot and passionate as possible. When they backed away, Kahlan giggled quietly as Richard brought his hands up to run his fingers throat her damp hair.

His eyes trailed behind his fingers, watching as they comb through her dark strands. "So beautiful, so perfect," he murmured softly as his fingertips continued down the length of her hair and tickled her spine, stopping when they came to the small of her back. He pulled her to him and seized her lips once more in a long and tender kiss. Kahlan moaned into his mouth as she felt his hands drift further down to cup her bottom as he tugged her closer to him, lifting her slightly up out of the water as he positioned her, now determined to take her.

Kahlan looped her arms around his neck, spreading her legs and wrapping them around his middle, helping him to hold her up. Moving one hand down his chest, she rubbed his firm muscles as she gazed into his eyes. "I want this, Richard," she reassured him. "I'm not just giving in to what I think you want. I'm doing this because it is what I want… understand?"

He gave a nod. Kahlan nodded back, then leaned forward to kiss him as she reached below his waist and grabbed his manhood in her hands. Richard let out a low groan into her mouth as she pulled him towards her femininity. Ever so slightly, Kahlan lowered herself onto him, grimacing as pain shot up into her stomach as he entered her. Her mouth opened and she let out a silent cry as hot tears trickled down her cheeks. Richard held her tightly as she brought her hand back up to his shoulder, latching on to it in a fierce grip, her fingernails digging into his skin as she suffered through the discomfort she had been expected when she accepted him inside, knowing she was still scarred and healing from giving birth.

Richard stood still, his face a mishmash of confused feelings. Kahlan could tell that it was a combination of the pleasure he felt at being inside her and the anguish he felt at causing her pain. She ignored his expression, determined to do this. His eye watched her as she made the first move, placing both her hands on either side of his neck, gripping his shoulders for support as she began to sway her hips against him. She rested her forehead against his and shared the air he breathed as she silently cried. Kahlan was more than willing to take the pain that came, just as long as she could be with Richard as a wife should be with a husband after they were wed. She wanted their vows made those two days ago to mean something and nothing was going to stop her.

Kahlan's lips quivered as her whole body trembled from the throbbing cramps that were developing in her inner thighs. Richard furrowed his brow in concern, but Kahlan shook her head, breathing heavily. "I'm all right… I can handle it," she whimpered. "Don't stop… I… I want you, Richard. Oh spirits, I want you. Take me, Richard… take me deep and release inside me, Richard… inside me."

He hugged her close, stopping the sway of her hips. She narrowed her eyes, thinking her was going to put an end to his, and disobey the orders of the Mother Confessor… of his wife. But then, Richard's hands drifted down to hold her hips, as he moved then closer to the riverbank. He carried them out of the water and slowly eased down to a sitting position along the water's edge, never once leaving her. Kahlan adjusted herself, moving her knees to rest on the soggy wet ground on either side of his hips. Richard looked up into her eyes, his hands tenderly rubbing her back, soothing away some of the discomfort she was feeling.

"We can stop now, Kahlan," Richard spoke. "I… I don't like hurting you like this."

Clenching her jaw as a single tear ran down her pale cheek, Kahlan pushed her mouth against his, and wiggled her hips around until he was completely filling her. She gripped his hand and let out a soft cry as she felt the discomfort of it, wishing that she felt the pleasure she had felt before, but knowing that she would not because of the timing. She was pushing her body to do this, and it was grudgingly obeying.

"Kahlan?" Richard's eyes were big and watery; tears of his own were falling from his eyes as he read the agony on her face.

"No," Kahlan breathed out, panting, placing a finger on his trembling lips to silence him. "You have not yet reached release, my Richard." She took her hand from his lips and caressed the side of his face. "I want to feel your release inside me. We are gong to consummate this marriage… so you will do as I say… and make love to me. I… I command it."

Richard gulped and gave a reluctant nod. "I'll do whatever you command, my Kahlan," he whispered into her ear. "My beautiful Kahlan."

She gasped as he gripped her hips tightly and began guided her movements. Kahlan arched her back and ran her fingers through his damp hair, pulling his face to her breasts. She groaned and closed her eyes, throwing herself into her movements, knowing that doing this would only prolong her recovery, but she did not care. She was with him, cementing their bond, validating her vows with her body as she already had with her soul.

What amazed her the most was Richard's restraint. It had almost been fifteen minutes since he had entered her and he had yet to release. But then again, Richard's mind had not fully been on the task of making love, his eyes still holding the worry that he was hurting her. Kahlan sought to reassure him but pulling his mouth to hers as she gave him a long wet kiss, focusing all her attention on the kiss instead of the knot in her middle. She gripped his shoulders and quickened the pace, bucking her hips wildly over him, as burning tears created rivers on her cheeks. Kahlan clenched her jaw, suppressing the pain, as she buried her head in the crook of his neck.

Richard was hesitant, but eventually he began to respond to her movements, adding his own. The shallow water around them, along the river's edge, splashed and frothed around them as Kahlan held onto the man she loved more than life itself, desperately wanting to bring him the pleasure she had denied him by sending him away from her.

"Oh Richard," she whimpered, scrunching up her face at the pain. "It hurts… it hurts."

He gripped her tightly, ceasing their movements and held her to his chest, tenderly rubbing her back. She could feel the heat from his cheeks and knew he was close to release. Gently, she pushed him back, sucking in deep breath, trying to ease the discomfort and hurt between her legs. She brushed his hair from his face and looked down at him as she rose above him.

"Don't stop… please," she pleaded. "I want you to release inside me… please, Richard."

"But… but I'm hurting you…," he moaned, looking heartbroken with grief.

Kahlan caressed his face. "Then make me happy by filling me with your warmth and love."

Richard seemed to swallow his misery and nodded. He hugged her and slowly eased her down to the ground, lying her on her back. He rubbed her thighs and she opened her legs for him. Squirming her hips, trying to get a better position for him to push as far in as possible, Kahlan looked up at him and gave a single nod of consent. Richard gritted his teeth and thrust his hips forward. Kahlan shoved her head back and closed her eyes, feeling hot tears escape her eyes as she suppressed the scream she wanted to release from the pain she felt. She gripped his shoulders as he moved above her, digging her fingers into his skin. Kahlan wanted to bring him over the threshold and give him release, even if she could not have it along with him, because the discomfort she felt would not allow her to reach the same ecstatic release she saw building in his eyes.

Looking down at her, he quickened his movements, leaning down to kiss her neck as he thrust himself back and forth inside her. Kahlan ran her hands down his back, encouraging him to continuing despite the silent cries of agony that issued from her lips. She knew that once she got better this would all be pleasurable again. Richard moved his lips up her neck and sought out her lips. Kahlan blinked back the tears and gazed up into his as their mouths locked together. He moaned into her mouth as she felt him tense above her. She smiled into his kiss as she felt the warmth of his release fill her insides. Backing out of their kiss, Richard rested his forehead against her and started into her eyes. She laid her hands on his backside, loving the tone and firmness of his muscles, as she held him to her, finally feeling so pleasure as his movements ceased and he simply rested inside her.

Slowly, he backed out of her, and spun onto his back, bring her up on top of him. He head her as she buried her head in the crook of his neck, his lips kissing her shoulder as he tenderly rubbed her back, helping to lessen the discomfort she had felt.

"Why Kahlan?" he asked softly, his voice lace with grief at having given her pain when he had made love to her. "Why would you do that? I… I never want to see you in pain or discomfort when we make love. I only want to give you pleasure."

Kahlan leaned back, slipping of him, but stayed curled up beside him on the muddy riverbank, hugging on to his strong frame. She ran her fingers across his heaving chest and sniffled softly, wiping her eyes. "I… I know, and I'm sorry for make you do that," she answered him in a quiet voice, barely audible over the babbling of the river. "But I just had to feel you inside me, Richard. I… I could not wait for Aydindril. I need to re-consummate our bond. I… I just had to. I'm sorry."

She lower her head, feeling ashamed for forcing him to endure making love to her while all she could respond with was whimpers of hurt and agony instead of pleasure and excitement at having him moving above her. Richard sighed and shifted, looking down at her and continuing to gently rub her back, easing away her pain.

"It's all right, Kahlan, you don't need to be sorry… It's my fault…," he averted his eyes. "I should not have said anything. I should have just contented myself with watching the beautiful sight of you bathing."

"No, don't say that," Kahlan knitted her eyebrows together as she placed her fingers on his lips. "I wanted it. I wanted you to take me… and… and a deserved the pain after all the grief I gave you. I deserved it."

"No… no!" Richard shook his head, being very adamant. "I love you, Kahlan, and it hurts so much to have given you pain while we made love."

"But it was that," she said. "It was making love. It was by choice, you did not pressure me into it. I pushed you into it, please, remember that." Kahlan moved over him and planted a kiss on his lips to reassure him that it was her doing, not his.

He sighed. "All right, but no more… not until you've recovered and we can both find pleasure in one another… okay?"

Smiling her special smile, she nodded, relenting to his decision… to the decision of her husband.

"Good," Richard gave a nod and slowly eased up to his feet. He bent down and helped her to her feet. "Now… let's get dress and head back to camp. I'm sure our daughter, whom we still need to name, is missing us."

Placing her feet on the ground, Kahlan stood still in the dimming light, hugging her shivering frame. Richard looked down at her and his eyebrows knitted together his horror. She bit her lower lip and glanced down, gasping when she saw blood dripping down her thighs. She looked up at Richard, seeing him trembling in terror as he dropped to his knees before her. He looked up at her in utter agony.

"Kahlan… please, forgive me… I didn't know… I didn't know…" he moaned in anguished. Kahlan placed her hands on his hand, caressing his cheek, forcing him to look up at her.

"You have nothing to apologize for," she said. "This… this was my doing, not yours."

Richard shook his head. "I should have been gentler," he said. "No… I should have even done it in the first place."

"Shh! Stop that," Kahlan huffed, dropped to her knees in front of him, and wrapping her arms around him.

He backed away, as if he was afraid he'd hurt her some more and Kahlan let out a whimper when he did so. Richard paused and looked at her, seeing the hurt in her eyes that his withdrawing had caused. Kahlan watch as he bit his lower lip and lowered his brow. Without a word, he stood and swept her up in his arms, carrying her back into the water. With gentle hands as he touched her, never once saying a word. His hands were kind on her and she let him take care of her, clearing the blood away and rubbing her sore thighs. Kahlan closed her eyes as he rubbed her femininity, washing it of the blood. It pained her when she heard a soft whimper of escape his lips when he examined the scarring on her, making her open her eyes and look up at him.

Noticing her eyes, he averted his gaze. "Are… are you all right?" he asked, his voice strained.

She nodded, swallowing past the lump in her throat, now beginning to question her instance that they made love. Richard looked grieved and terrible, with an expression that told her that he believed he was responsible for causing her pain. She could not help but wonder, though, if all her birth would be as traumatic as her first two. Each had been extremely painful and difficult. Kahlan wondered if this was to be her lot in life, a way for the spirits to punish her for betraying her love for Richard by lying with another man.

Kahlan kept those thoughts to herself as Richard finished cleaning her, and then pulled her into his arms once more as he took her back to the riverbank to dry her off. Kahlan closed her eyes and basked in the tenderness he showed her as he dabbed the towel over her moist flesh. When he was done, he turned to put the towel down and retrieve her dress, but she stopped him with a hand on his arms.

Richard brow creased in confusion as he watched her stepped up to him, prying the towel from his grasp. Giving him her special smile, she began to dry him off, like he had done wither. When she was done with his chest and back, she dropped to her knees and could not help but stare at him, noticing that his body was already becoming aroused by the closeness of her head to his groin. Looking up at him, she gave him a big grin.

"Thank you," she whispered, as she ran the towel done his legs.

"For what?" Richard asked, confused.

She grinned and gestured with her eyes towards his growing arousal. "For still finding me so desirable," she winked.

Richard reached down with his hands and pulled her up to him. "I will always find you desirable, Kahlan, even when we are both wrinkled and grey," he said in a breathless voice as he pulled her flush up against him.

Kahlan blushed, feel the heat of his arousal as it pressed against her middle. Richard gripped a fistful of her hair and pulled her face to his, kissing her with the same passion he away did. His hand let could and drifted down her back to latch on to her bottom, squeezing her soft flesh. Kahlan let out a giggle and smiled, feeling her heart flutter, pleased with his touch, knowing that even after the events in the river, that Richard still wanted to make love to her.

She pushed up on her toes and seductively bit his earlobe. "When we get back to Aydindril and I recover," she whispered. "I'm so going to have my way with you, Seeker."

Richard let out a throaty moan. "Then I shall count the days, my beloved." He pushed her back and kissed her forehead. "Now, stand still and let me dress you."

"I can get dressed myself," she retorted.

Richard gave her a stare that told her that he was not going to take no for an answer. She relented with a nod, not wanting to do anything more that would cause him hurt. Richard turned his back to her to receive her clothes. Kahlan shivered and allowed her eyes to roam his body, drinking in the sight of his bare backside as he bent down to pick up her dress. She smiled softly as he ran kisses down her body, from the hollow of her neck to the tip of her toes, as he pulled her dress down over her shoulder and then past her hips. His fingers rubbed her tender legs, helping to soothe away the ache that lay between them.

She could still not believe she had bleed down there, not thinking they had been that rough in their love making. In fact, Richard had been more restrained than their previous times. Ringing her hands together, Kahlan suspected the bleeding had been more a result of her not having fully recovered from giving birth than anything else. When he had finished dressing her, Kahlan turned silently and sat on a tree stump and watched with quiet delight as he dressed himself.

Holding hands, they walked back through the forest, seeing the glow of the campfire, as they got closer. Entering the clearing, Darla got up and shuffled over to them, placing the sleeping baby into Kahlan's arms. "So what have you two been up to?" the old midwife asked with a knowing smirk. Kahlan was thankful that the woman did not chide them on the poor judgment of making love so soon after birth, she already felt terrible forcing Richard to so, making her bleed. She would never forget the look of horror on his face when he glimpsed the blood running down her legs.

Kahlan tucked the swaddling clothing around her daughter and smiled softly, answering the midwife's question without words. Darla gave a soft laugh and patted her arm before waddling back over to the fire. They followed her and sat down, having some vegetable stew for supper. Later, easing down onto the bedroll, Kahlan eased her back into Richard's chest, closing her eyes and letting out a soft moan when he brushed her hair back and kissed her neck. She cradled their baby in front of her, close to her breast, as Richard pulled the blankets over them.

"Sanya," she muttered softly.

"Huh?" Richard hummed into her neck.

"A name," Kahlan arched her neck to look over her shoulder at him. "You said we needed to pick a name. How about Sanya?"

He smiled at her and his warm brown eyes gleamed in the firelight. "It's perfect, Kahlan," Richard said, leaning over her to caress a finger along their baby's cheek. "Sanya Amnell."

Kahlan smiled softly at his mistake. "No… Sanya Cypher."

Richard frowned. "I thought it was tradition for a confessor to take the mother's name?"

"Well," Kahlan grinned, "we are not exactly a traditional couple, now are we?"

He rubbed her arm affectionately and kissed her cheek. "I guess we're not," he murmured into her hair as he eased down behind her, giving a nod of consent. "Very well. Sanya Cypher it is."

Kahlan beamed with delight and hugged the baby, whom now had a name, to her as she shifted back into Richard's chest, relishing the feel of his arms wrapping around her and holding her tight. She rested her head on the bedding and stared in wonder at the little life sleeping in her arms, still amazed that the Creator had granted her the wish of having the child of the man she loved.


	52. Things Past

**Chapter 52 – Things Past**

He closed his eyes and took in her scent, nuzzling up close to her and planting soft kisses on her neck. She laughed and told him to get some sleep. Relenting, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close and sighing contently, pleased to once again have her in his arms. This was what Richard had missed most while being in the Palace of the Prophets; simply being able to fall asleep with the woman he loved in his arms. And what made it all the more brilliant was that in her arms, nestled safely, was their daughter, Sanya Cypher. He felt blessed to have two beautiful daughters. No matter what anyone else might say or think, Richard was determined to treat both equally. He was the one that bonded with Ashley when she was a newborn. He was the one who rocked her to sleep in her first days. And he loved her just as much as he loved little Sanya.

Richard listened as Kahlan's breathing evened as she went to sleep. He smiled softly and shifted over her to gave down, basking in her beauty. Gently, he brushed her hair aside to kiss her brow, then her nose, until tenderly planting a loving kiss on her slightly parted lips. She stirred at his touch, her lips curling into a small smile as she let out a breath, murmuring his name in her slumber. He leaned over her and checked on Sanya, before slipping back down and pulling Kahlan to his chest. He kissed the back of her head and buried his face in her hair, going to sleep breathing in her wonderful intoxicating scent.

XXX

When he woke up in the midmorning, it was slow, just a couple of blinks. But then his eyes bolted opened and he almost immediately sprang up to a sitting position, becoming wide awake when he did not find Kahlan at his side. He turned around, looking frantically for her, then let out a sigh of relief when he saw her sitting comfortably by the campfire with Darla. The midwife looked up when she heard him sigh and smiled with a shake of her head as she stirred the contents of a bowl over the flames.

"See," he heard Kahlan say. "I told you he was protective."

"Protective or possessive, which is it, dearie?" came Darla's reply.

The tension in his shoulders relaxed when he heard Kahlan infectious laugh. Richard rubbed the fog of sleep from his eyes and stood up off the bedroll, arching his back and raising his arms as he stretched. He made his way over to the campfire, and slowly eased down next to Kahlan, who shifted to allow him to place his arm over her shoulder. She gave him her special smile, and then leaned into him, resting against his side. He kissed her temple and looked back over at Darla, as the old woman dished out some porridge for breakfast. She handed him a bowl.

"We kept some warm for you, Richard," she said. "I would have woke you earlier, but Kahlan, here, thought you could use the rest.

Richard accepted the bowl. Kahlan adjusted herself so that he could have his arm back, since he could not very well eat with one hand. He exhaled, still wanting to have his arm around her, but conceded to the fact that he needed nourishment. Suddenly, in the middle of his food, Sanya started to bawl her little head off. Richard blinked and looked over, seeing Kahlan shake her head.

"She's been really hungry this morning," Kahlan said, exchanging a look with Darla, who gave a nod.

For some reason, Richard tensed when Kahlan began to unbutton her blouse. He did not know why, but he did. He looked around them, and saw that the Aydindril soldiers started to move about or turn their backs, keeping a respectful distance away. Richard swallowed the porridge that was in his mouth and watched as Kahlan pulled a milk heavy breast from her blouse and held their infant up to her. Sanya quieted almost immediately once she latched on and started suckling, her little brown eyes gazing over at him. He smiled at her and tentatively reached over and brushed her brown hair from her brow. Sanya closed her eyes happily and continued suckling.

Kahlan laughed slightly, seeming to notice how he had become nervous. "Why are you blushing, Richard?" she asked, obviously amused. "You've seen much more."

He only seemed to blush more when her comment pulled a loud chortle out of the wrinkly old midwife sitting across from them on the other side of the campfire.

"Tell me, Richard," Darla said, easing back against a tree, groaning slightly at the aches in her bones. "How did a rogue like you managed to swoon a princess off her feet?"

Richard looked over at the midwife and used a spoonful of porridge to delay his answer. He did not know how to answer such a question without having to explain what Kahlan was, and he was unsure of exactly how much his beloved had informed the midwife. Kahlan, seeming to sense his worrying, learned over, resting her head against his and gave him some help.

"I've decided that it was best to let her assume I was a princess or something," she whispered quickly. "When she arrived in Aydindril and saw the Confessor's Palace and the copious servants and staff, it seemed the best thing to do. Not to mention Captain Kandon and the two dozen or so of the Aydindril city guard that accompanied us when we left."

Richard gave a nod and looked back over at Darla. "It's a long story, but suffice it to say, I saved her life."

"Saved her life, huh?" Darla nodded. "It must have been some save, because that woman there is devoted to you in such a away that I have never seen before in anyone. You… you're a very lucky man, Richard Cypher, do you know that?"

He smiled broadly and looked back at Kahlan, gazing deeply into her eyes. "Everyday," he replied. Richard could not resist, and leaned forward, capturing her lips in a quick kiss. Kahlan moaned softly in his mouth and her pale cheeks flushed considerably.

When they backed away, Kahlan let out a breath and smiled at him, giggling softly. "Now eat up, Richard… we've got a long day ahead of us." She looked back down at Sanya, and ran her fingers along the mass of brown hair as she continued to suck.

Richard smiled at the sight of Kahlan tending to their daughter and felt his heart skip with longing to have their whole family reunited in Aydindril. But then, as he quickly ate the rest of the porridge, his mind turned to more ominous things as he remembered the threat that was still out there. He looked over his bowl and stared out at the surrounding woods, almost as if he could sense dark things moving about within the shadows under the tall trees. The sooner they got Kahlan and Sanya back to the Confessor's Palace and behind the city walls, the better.

XXX

Borrowing a long thin blanket from the supplies, Richard created a sling in which they could nestle Sanya in as they rode. It was better than the previous two days, when Kahlan had insisted on holding their daughter in her arms, which slowed down their pace. Kahlan wanted to be the one to hold Sanya, but Richard insisted, wanting some bonding time with his daughter. He remembered how pleasant it was having Ashley rest against his chest as she slept, and wanted to repeat the experience with Sanya. When Kahlan saw how determined he was, she relented with a smile, grabbing the collar of his shirt to pulled him down for a heated kiss.

Riding along the forest, Richard kept a watchful eye along the tree line, unable to shake the feeling that they were being followed or watched from the shadows. Kahlan and Darla rode slightly a head of him, five guards plus Captain Kandon surrounding them on their mounts. The rest of the Aydindril soldiers formed a kind of perimeter around the entire group, riding in a big oval around them.

He checked on Sanya, smiling as she cooed softly in her slumber, her little fist tightly grabbing at his shirt. Richard allowed himself to relax and simply bask in the beauty of what Kahlan and him had made. He was amazed at how much Sanya looked like him, but he felt she had Kahlan's chin and nose, though the rest looked so much like him that it was startling. Richard had known, almost ever since he could remember, that he had wanted to be a father. Yet he had never imagined, in his wildest dreams, that he would ever find a woman like Kahlan who would help him with those dreams.

Sure, they had had their difficulties, what with the barrier of her powers, and the fact she had taken a mate, which was still a bit sore and caused his heart to ache, but he was not going to let it disturb his happiness and love for her. His biggest issue with the whole thing was not that she had taken a mate; it was that he had not been able to be the first man she was ever with. Kahlan had told him that she was a virgin, something she had confided in him after some alone time and some chaste kisses before they used the Boxes of Orden to defeat Rahl. He had hugged her and told her that when he found the way past their powers he would make sweet love to her for hours upon end. She had blushed brightly, but gave him her special smile.

Richard sighed, remembering those past moments. He had so desperately wanted her first time to be something special, something that she would remember and always cherish. But sadly, almost depressingly, it was not to be. After they had reconciled, Richard had coaxed some of the details out of her, but she had not said much. He knew it was wrong, but part of him wished that Kahlan had suffered more than she had when they had consummated their marriage in the river. He felt guilty and bad for even thinking that, but that part of him just did not like the idea of another man being able to give Kahlan pleasure. Richard wanted to be selfish in that regard and be the only man to ever bring Kahlan to the heights to ecstasy.

It was not helping him to think about these things, but for some reason Richard's mind kept going to them. He figured that it was probably because somewhere, deep down, he was still bitter over the fact that she had not waited for him. That she had slept with another out of duty and had not fought against the council's insistence that she take a mate. Richard also knew that all these feelings were old news. That they had gone over some of this stuff before they had reconciled and made love for the first time in that wayward pine. But try as he might, he could just not get over it.

He almost wished that the bandits had not killed Dragen, her mate, so that he could have been the one to dispatch him to the Keeper. It was not like him to relish in the thoughts of killing another, but something raw and twisted within him had wanted to gut the confessed man the moment he first saw him holding a sobbing Kahlan in the gardens behind the Confessor's Palace.

"Richard?"

He blinked and looked over to find that Kahlan had slowed her horse to ride along side him. Her eyebrows were knitted together and she wore a confused and worried expression. Richard was suddenly ashamed with himself. There was no reason for him to be focusing on past events, when he had now "eloped" with Kahlan, as she liked to call it. She may have slept with another before him, but she had not married her mate. She had married him, Richard Cypher, and she had given him a beautiful daughter. Not to mention the agony she had gone through just to consummate their marriage.

Richard felt all the more terrible for even being mad that Kahlan had been with another before she had been with him, because he had been with other women before he had ever met her. But still, once Richard had met Kahlan, he had remained chaste, waiting for the day when her powers would no longer be an obstacle against his desperate and primal need to ravage her over and over again.

He blinked and looked up at her, watching as she gripped the reins of her horse tightly and directed it closer to his. She looked over at him with big brilliant blue eyes that always left him breathless.

"Is everything all right, Richard?" she asked in a low voice.

Richard swallowed past the lump in his throat and clenched his jaw. "It was… it's nothing, Kahlan," he replied slowly. "Don't worry yourself."

Kahlan gave him a look and shook her head. "I'm your wife now, Richard," she said softly, giving him a small version of her special smile, trying to comfort him. "If there is something that is troubling you, then I want to know."

All he could do was stare at her, unsure if he should even tell her about how he was thinking about things past that should be forgotten. Looking around, judging whether or not they could be overheard, he lowered his voice, knowing that she would not stop pestering him until he told her.

"I… I feel terrible about this," he said in a quiet voice, just loud enough for only her to hear. "But… I don't know if it is because of what we did in the river, but I cannot stop thinking about you and… and the confessed man being together… about him taking your… and whether or not you found any pleasure in his…"

He let his voice trail off, unable and unwilling to even say it out loud, seeing how much of an effect his words were having on his beloved, not to mention his own aching heart. He was beginning to wish he had been more in control when he had gone to "bathe" with Kahlan in the river. Truth be told, that had been his original intention. He had not expected himself to go all animalistic on her. He felt like he had pressured her into it, and it made him feel terrible, knowing how much pain it had brought her. Richard could still not get the image of her bleeding down there out his mind. It pained him deeply that making love to her had done that, especially when he had thought he had not been that rough.

Kahlan's lower lip began to tremble and her expression drooped. Her eyebrows set in an anguished and heartbroken angle, and her beautiful bright blue eyes dimmed and grew sad. "I cannot blame you for wondering," she responded slowly. "I… we should have talked about this long ago." She swallowed and looked at him with watery eyes.

"What… what I felt when he… he took my maidenhood was far worse than anything I felt out in that river yesterday," she continued in a quaking voice. "I cried the whole time, knowing that I was most likely destroying any future I could ever have had with you, Richard. And I was so thankful when it was over. I never… not once, even in the other times I had to lay with him before I became with child, did I ever find any pleasure. Never." A trembling hand reached over to grab his. "You have to believe me," came her weak voice.

Richard bit his lower lip, and looked up at her, his eyes watering. He squeezed her hand reassuringly. "I believe you, Kahlan," he spoke softly. "And… and I'm sorry for making you relive it. I… I'm sorry."

"No, don't ever be sorry for something that was my fault," Kahlan quickly interjected. She sucked in a breath and removed her hand, regaining control of her horse. "I am to blame for all that heartache and torment. Never blame yourself, do you hear me?"

Richard gave a nod and looked down at Sanya, who had awoken, hearing her mother's voice. The babe let out a little squeal and Richard pulled his horse to a halt. Kahlan followed suit. Slowly, Richard dismounted, supporting Sanya's head with one hand as he did so. Kahlan was already by his side when his feet hit the ground. She immediately grabbed his face and pulled it up to look at her.

"Can you ever forgive me for not waiting for you?" Kahlan asked, her voice sounding desperate. Her chest was heaving and she looked near panic.

He knitted his eyebrows together and averted his eyes, feeling terrible for ever bringing it up. Richard had not meant to accuse her of enjoying her time with Dragen. It just pained him that her first experience in lovemaking was not with him, and would forever be tainted by having to submit to a confessed man instead of the man she loved. He closed his eyes and tensed his jaw, finding it hard to respond to her. The only sounds seemed to come from Kahlan, softly sobbing, and their daughter, who was making mewling noises.

"Richard?" Kahlan's voice sounded worried, as if revealing some of the details of her time with Dragen had resulted in her losing him.

Looking up, he glared at her with a penetrating stare of love. His look had the desired affect, because it appeared that, for a second or two, Kahlan had forgotten how to breathe. He shifted, grabbing her face in his hands and pulling her to him. He pressed his lips softly against hers and murmured his apologies. "Let us leave it in the past," he mumbled into her mouth as they kissed. "All regrets and worries are things past, now. We have a future to look towards. A future with possibilities and…" he was interrupted by a tiny giggle from Sanya. "And," he chuckled softly, gazing down at their baby. "And many little ones."

Kahlan laughed softly and relaxed, resting her forehead against his. "Then… then you'll still have me as your wife."

"Always and forever, yes," Richard reassured her. "Let us forget those trouble times and think of the future. Think of our daughters now and the ones to come. We will build a life together and every moment of it shall be spectacular."

He caressed the side of her face and brushed her hair from her brow, staring intently into those wonderful blue eyes of hers. As he gazed deeply into the eyes of the one he loved, Richard's mind began to wander to more pleasant thoughts than before, remembering how they had made love for the first time in that wayward pine. As if she could sense his thoughts she smiled.

"As far as I am concerned, Richard," she moaned softly into his mouth as his other hand dropped to her hip, allowing her to inch even closer. "That time in the wayward pine in Westland… that… that was my first time. And I shall treasure those memories for as long as I live."

"Oh," he arched his eyebrow and smirked. "Well, plan on making room for some more, because I plan on making a lot more of those kind of memories with you, my Kahlan… my beautiful Kahlan."

As if growing annoyed with their lack of attention, Sanya decided now was the right time to scream her little head off. Richard and Kahlan grimaced and smiled at each other, shaking their heads.

"For being so small, she certainly as a big set of lungs," Kahlan chuckled. "Here, let me carry her… you've had her for most of the day."

Richard sighed and relented, shifting the sling off and cradling it around Kahlan's shoulder. It seemed to work better, because the sling positioned Sanya's head in just the right spot so that Kahlan could part her blouse just a bit to give their daughter access for some breastfeeding. As soon as Kahlan directed the infant's little mouth to her breast, Sanya stopped crying and began to suckle. Richard chuckled and ran his hand over Sanya's small head.

"You know, I'm jealous of her," he told Kahlan.

Kahlan smirked and looked up at him with mischievous eyes. "Don't worry, Cypher," she narrowed her eyes as he helped her mount up on her horse, his hands lingers on her bottom. "You'll get your turn… eventually."

Richard shook his head at her. "Now that's just down right, mean," he joked.

Kahlan flashed him a big grin, and then squeezed her legs, sending her horse trotting off. He quickly grabbed the reins of his horse and jumped up, riding after her, his spirits on the rise as they rode on to Aydindril.


	53. Daydreams

*This chapter walks a fine line between T and M. Just be warned.

* * *

**Chapter 53 – Daydreams**

Two eyes peered out through the shadows cast by the trees, glaring out at the Seeker and Mother Confessor. The figures moved slowly through the bramble and brush, following and watching as the two, seated upon their horses, talked quietly. The Mother Confessor's eyes watered and she looked sorrowful. Watching from the shadows of the woods, they observed the interaction between the two lovers and were disappointed with the results, when the Seeker pulled his mount to a halt and dismounted. The eyes shot beams of anger at the others, promising some punishment, when it became obvious that their spells had failed to change the Seeker's mind about the Mother Confessor.

"She has a greater control over him than we thought," Sister Nicci said, glancing down at Sister Bree. "I can see why you were unable to bed him. Look at how he stares at her. It is almost like he has been confessed."

"And the daughter only strengthens the bond," piped in Sister Merissa. "See how they both tenderly care for her."

Nicci nodded and looked back out, watching as Richard placed the sling over Kahlan's shoulder and nestled the babe up against her mother's breast.

"This is going to be more difficult than we originally thought," Nicci said, glancing back at her fellow Sisters of the Dark. "Enchanting his mind with doubt and worries will not work. He feels for her too much right now, especially after their little escapade in the river. It was painful to watch and much have been so for the confessor, but it had the desire result she had wished… making him love her all the more for suffering through that just to consummate their wedding." Nicci paused and took a long frustrated breath. "We may have to wait a little while longer… perhaps once he sees this other daughter, the one conceived with the mate and sees how much that child looks like her father… perhaps then we can turn him against the confessor."

"I… I don't think so, Sister Nicci," Bree spoke up in a timid voice. "I was eavesdropping on him one night and I heard him praying softly to his beloved, declaring that he viewed that daughter as his own, even if not by blood."

Sister Nicci sneered down at Bree and turned to another. "What do we know about this mate the confessor took?"

"Our spies in Westland say that he was killed near Trunt Lake," Sister Marianna informed her. "Before she confessed him and took him as mate, he was a captain in the D'Haran army under Darken Rahl."

Nicci narrowed her eyes and looked more closely at Marianna, she was always a favored of the Keeper. Some of them had secretly began to call her the Keeper's Whore behind her back, seeing as how the Keeper would always visit her when she slept. "And what does our Master say about him? Has his soul joined all those damned in the Underworld?"

Marianna took a deep breath and averted her eyes from the gaze of the more powerful Sister of the Dark. "No, Sister Nicci," she said. "This Dragen has not been seen amongst the souls of the dead. The Master's pet has not seen him either."

"Rahl," Nicci drawled out his name in disgust. "If he had performed his task better and killed the Seeker when he was still a babe, then none of this would have come to pass." She turned and looked towards Merissa. "If this confessed man is not dead, you must go to Westland and find him. Bring him back. Perhaps then, we can use him to turn the Seeker against his Confessor."

Obviously afraid of her, the others nodded obediently. Nicci smirked and stared at the backs of the two lovers as they departed, already seated upon their mounts again.

"Because," she murmured softly, "if prophecy is to be believed, for our Master, the Keeper, to gain dominion over all life, the Mother Confessor must die by the hand of her true love."

XXX

Kahlan felt uneasy about Richard's questions about her time with Dragen. It was painful to have to remember those events and tell him about them. She had not lied when she had expressed to him that when she had lain with Dragen it had hurt far more than what she had felt in the river with him. At least she had that much. Kahlan never wanted it to hurt as much as it had with Dragen when she was with Richard. It was more than just the difference in size, down there. Richard was kind and tender with her. When Dragen had pushed himself in, it had been rough and labored—the forced lovemaking of a confessed man.

When Richard made love to her, even when it hurt as it had in the river, it was not forced; it was genuine and compassionate. Richard loved her for all the right reasons, and not because she had used her powers over him to confess him. Sure, it was clear that she exuded some control over him, but not as she would with a confessed man. Kahlan could plead with Richard to do something, and he would relent… relent being the operative word. Where as a confessed man would obey without hesitation, Richard had to be persuaded.

Licking her lips, still tasting him from their kiss, Kahlan allowed her eyes to drink in the sight of him riding beside her. She did not know why, but every time she looked at him her heart skipped a beat and it was always like a flock of butterflies had manifested inside her stomach. Richard was, without a doubt, the only man she, Kahlan Amnell, the last of the confessors, had ever swooned and fawned over. His mere touch caused such a cornucopia of feelings and sensations to rise up inside her that Kahlan was overwhelmed and exhilarated at the same time. She chewed on her lower lip, openly leering at him with lustful thoughts brewing in her mind.

They obviously could not make love until she had recovered more, but there were still other things they could do that were on the intimate side of things. She blinked her eyes, and her cheeks flushed bright pink, realizing some of the naughty thoughts that were popping up in her head as she imagined guiding Richard into the woods for some privacy and pulling his trousers down as she knelt before him on her knees and opened her mouth. Kahlan took in a deep breath, trying to stifle the feelings stirring in her chest and stomach. She could still please him without opening her legs.

There were other things she could do. While traveling across the Midlands in disguise, Kahlan had over heard working girls discussing such things. Now Kahlan longed to do some of those to Richard… to please him, and simply just to try doing them with Richard. Never, in her entire life, had Kahlan ever even thought about attempting such things. But now, with Richard close by, she was beginning to scheme and plot out ways to get him alone so that she could show him she could be a very pleasing wife to have.

Feeling a tight pinch on her breast, she looked down at her suckling babe. Her mind was pulled away from her lustful thoughts about her husband, and turned towards tending her daughter. Sanya's little brown eyes were looking up at her with that most interesting expression Kahlan had ever seen on an infant. It was always as if Sanya was judging her for thinking such things while in the process of breastfeeding. Ashley had always looked peaceful and contented, but Sanya, well, she was hardly yet a week old, and the little one already appeared curious about the world around her.

Kahlan smiled, shifting one hand away from the reins, to run her fingers through the soft brown hair that looked to be the exact same shade as Richard's. It made Kahlan smile all the more. No one could dispute that Richard was the girl's father; she looked too much like him. Though she loathed the idea of going through a difficult childbirth again, Kahlan could not wait until she could give Richard more daughters.

At that very moment, as if he could sense her thoughts, Richard turned his head around and gave her a big knowing grin. Kahlan stifled a giddy laugh, her mind already going back to the naughty thoughts she had been having before. Yes, she decided with a nod. After they made camp and everyone was settled for the evening, she was going to pull Richard away to the woods, find some place secluded that would give them privacy, and then ever so seductively, she would pull down his trousers and devour him like she had never done before.

Up ahead of her, Richard narrowed his eyes, looking at her strangely. Kahlan smiled tightly at him, raising her eyebrows, almost suggestively, teasing him by slowly running her tongue across her upper lip. Richard's eyes grew wide and his smile grew and he gave her wink, before turning back to steer his horse.

XXX

Kahlan sat on the fallen tree trunk, cradling Sanya in her arms, as she watched the men go about setting up camp. She kept her eyes glued on Richard, watching as his trousers hugged his backside as he bent down to unroll their bedroll. She chewed on her lower lip and blushed, amazed at how aroused she was becoming just sitting there staring at him. Darla waddled over and gave her a long look with her keen dark eyes. The old woman smiled softly, as if she could read Kahlan's thoughts, then continued on, helping to prepare supper for the young couple and the troopers that protected them.

Sanya cooed softly and nuzzled her little head against Kahlan's breast. She looked down at the little girl and was amazed that she was still up. "What do you want, Sanya?" Kahlan asked the infant.

Sanya blinked, staring up at her mother, and nuzzled her head against her breast again, slightly opening her tiny mouth.

Rolling her eyes, Kahlan adjusted her blouse and pulled out her breast, giving the little babe what she wanted. As soon as her breast was exposed, Sanya made a little squeal noise and latched on, suckling happily. Richard looked up from the bedroll, his eyes sparkling at the site of his wife feeding their child, and smiled.

"I swear," Kahlan mumbled softly as he made his way over to her. "It seems that all she does it eat and sleep."

"Well, she's only a couple of days old, Kahlan," he chuckled softly. "You can't really blame her."

Kahlan smiled and leaned against him, looking down at her daughter suckling on her breast. She chewed on her lower lip as she noticed Richard's eyes stare down at the same sight. She wondered if he was looking at her creamy white breast, or at their daughter. For some reason, Kahlan found herself wishing he were looking at her and not their daughter. She closed her eyes and shook her head, wondering what she was thinking. Last night she had forced an encounter between them that had not gone well, sure Richard had reached release, but even that had been forced, because he knew that she was deriving no pleasure from what they were doing.

When she opened her eyes, she noticed that Sanya had let go, her eyes closed and her mouth hanging slightly ajar. Before Kahlan could do anything, Richard was reaching down and wiping the drool on Sanya's chin and gently closing her tiny little mouth. Sanya stirred a bit at her father's touch, but did not wake. And then, to Kahlan's surprise and embarrassment, Richard placed his hand over her exposed breast and just held it. Kahlan sucked in a breath and dared to look around, seeing if anyone was noticing how the Seeker was so openly fondling the Mother Confessor.

The soldiers were a ways off, still busy setting up camp. Captain Kandon stood in the middle of them, issuing orders. Darla, along with one or two soldiers, had built a nice fire and was in the process of preparing an evening meal.

Richard gave her a slight squeeze, causing her to jump a bit, as he leaned closer, kissing her cheek. "You're beautiful, Kahlan," he purred into her ear, slowly beginning to massage her breast, his fingers running over the soft mound of flesh. Kahlan shivered, and blushed with how openly he was touching her.

Kahlan turned her head to look at him, seeing his eyes burning with desire. He pressed his forehead to hers and they simply stared into each other's eyes as he continued to fondle her breast. Then, ever so slightly, he removed his hand and replaced the flap of her blouse. He deftly buttoned it back up. And once he was done, he moved his hand to her face and caressed her flush cheek, gazing heatedly into her eyes.

"We could leave Sanya with Darla and sneak into the woods for some privacy," he murmured. "There are other things I can do to you that will give you pleasure, Kahlan." Richard averted his eyes for a moment. "You deserve to have some pleasure, as well. Let me give you what you can me yesterday."

Kahlan swallowed past the lump in her throat, not knowing why she felt as nervous and anxious as she did. This had been what she had daydreamed about during there day's travel. She remembered how he had touched her down there with his fingers and how pleasurable it had been. What else did Richard know that could provide her pleasure without having him inside her? As he continued to gaze at her, caressing her face and running his fingers through the length of her hair, Kahlan decided she very much wanted to find out what Richard could do, what sort of pleasures he could bring to her that did not involve the things they had done in the river.

Slowly, she gave a nod. Richard smiled and pressed his lips softly against her, lingering just long enough to leave her breathless. He stood up, taking Sanya in his arms, and made his way over to the old midwife. Kahlan stayed there, placing her hands in her lap, feeling her stomach erupt with butterflies and her heart skip in her chest. Where her naughty daydreams going to come true? Though, she did not know what he could possibly do that did not involve pushing himself inside her. Kahlan chewed on her lower lip, feeling anxious, the anxiety creating a knot in her stomach as she watched Richard return to her, minus Sanya.

"Kahlan?" he held out a hand and she tentatively reached up, accepting his offer.

As he led her out of the clearing, Kahlan felt her cheeks flush and her body tingle with all the possibilities of what could come next.

XXX

The eyes watched as the Seeker led the Mother Confessor from the clearing, away from the others. He looked determined and she looked anxious and nervous. They followed the lovers from a distance, but not too far, staying close enough to observe their actions.

"Damn," Nicci let out a breath as she watched the Seeker lower the Mother Confessor onto a bed of leave and gently began to push her skirt up.

"What?" Bree inquired in a soft voice behind her. She had not been watching the Seeker and Mother Confessor. Instead, her focus on was on ensuring they were not found.

Nicci narrowed her eyes, seeing the Seeker lower his head between the Mother Confessor's thighs. "He must feel guilty," she mumbled, mostly to herself.

"Guilty?" Bree was confused. She looked over Sister Nicci's shoulder and her eye grew wide. Ever since Bree had blossomed into womanhood, she had used her body to entice and bend men to her will with sex, but never, in her entire life, had she seen a man work so hard a pleasing a woman. And whatever he was doing with his head between her legs, it was obviously very pleasing to the Mother Confessor. "What is he doing?"

"Shh," Nicci hissed. "We must not be seen. And besides, it will do us good to observe this interaction. It will provide us with information that can be used to tear them apart when the time comes. Watch and memorize what the Seeker does, for we will try and use this against them."

Bree blushed, not knowing how seeing Richard Cypher please the Mother Confessor in such a fashion could be turned against the two lovers. If anything, it was bringing them closer together. But she obeyed her superior's orders and watched as the Seeker continued to eat at the Mother Confessor, his hands drifting up her body to caress her breasts as he continued to move his head between her legs. Eventually, the Mother Confessor tightened her thighs around his head and threw back her head, letting out a loud moan of exquisite pleasure, the likes of which Bree had never felt herself.

Moving up from his spot between her legs, the Seeker kissed his way up the Mother Confessor's body, before grabbing her face in his hands and kissing her deeply.

XXX

"Oh, Richard…," Kahlan moaned softly into his mouth as he kissed her. "That… that was extraordinary. I… I never knew that such things were possible… and with just your tongue." She laughed giddily, feeling lightheaded.

Richard grinned down at her and kissed her again, sighing into her mouth as he ran his fingers down the length of her hair. His fingers tickled her sides and soon his hands were once again on her thighs. He rubbed them and slowly pushed under her skirt again, rubbing the soft flesh of her bottom.

"There's more where that came from, my Kahlan… much more," he purred softly, as he began kissing her again while his hands kneaded the soft flesh of her bottom.

"Richard…," Kahlan could nothing but mumble his name into his mouth as he devoured her mouth with his. "Really?"

"Oh yes," Richard replied, backing up to nod, pulling her tight to him. "Much more."

Kahlan let out an airy giggle and watched as he began kissing his way down her body. With expert skill, he removed her breasts from the confines of her blouse and began kissing and nibbling at them. She leaned her head back against the soft bed of leaves and smiled to herself as she felt his hands join his mouth. Kahlan was left breathless with all the things Richard did to her with just the use of his mouth and hands. Her whole body tingled. She had never known that a man could please a woman like this. Never. The older confessors had certainly never spoke of such things.

Moaning softly as his mouth descended down her body, heading for the warm place between her legs again, Kahlan could not believe he was going to work at pleasing her again. Surely he would like to be pleasured as well. She made a move, wanting to rest on her knees before him and kissing him as he was kissing her. But Richard's strong hands held her down.

"No…," he ordered in a firm voice. "Tonight is about you, Kahlan… just you."

"Oh, Richard…," Kahlan whimpered as her body flashed with waves upon waves of ecstatic feelings and sensations she had never felt before without actually having him inside her. But she relented to him. Yes, she, a confessor, obeyed the orders of a man, something completely unheard of. Yet another thing that Richard had been able to do that others had not. Oh, and she was definitely going to have to amend her daydreams… and include much more.


	54. Ten Oaks

**Chapter 54 – Ten Oaks**

"It's the Mother Confessor!"

The voices rose up and Richard watched as all the villagers immediately stopped what they were doing and bowed, kneeling on the ground as Kahlan dismounted from her horse. The Aydindril guard fanned out to create a perimeter to protect her, but it was clear that none of these people were a threat. Richard raised his eyebrows and placed a hand behind Sanya's tiny little head as he dismounted slowly, careful to not wake their sleeping daughter. He stepped over to stand by Kahlan, who reached over to take his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers as they walked out amongst the throng of people come to welcome the Mother Confessor and her party to Ten Oaks.

Richard was a little overwhelmed at the depth of respect and deference the villagers showed Kahlan. He could not help but agree with how Darla had described Kahlan. She was—if not by name or title—a queen, of sorts. The people certainly treated her as such. For not the first time, Richard felt almost unworthy of her love. Here he was, a lowly wood's guide, what business did he have marrying someone as powerful and esteemed as the Mother Confessor of the Midlands. Kahlan noticed his anxiety and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

After she told the assembled throng to rise, the people all rushed to gather around them, the men removing their caps, the women curtsying and bowing their heads. With direction from Captain Kandon and the Aydindril guard, the people queued up in single file to walk past and catch a glimpse of the newest confessor. Sanya had since woke up, and squirmed in his arms, looking out at all the new faces as they past, giggling happily. Her mother, who also happened to be the Mother Confessor, stood by her father's side, smiling proudly. It also appeared that the news that she had married the Seeker had also arrived, because as the villagers gazed upon the little confessor, they also congratulated them on that, as well.

"And why wasn't I invited to this blessed event?" came a grumpy voice that Richard recognized immediately.

Startled, he looked up and squinted in the dim light to be met by the beaming grin of his grandfather. "Zedd!" he gasped. "When… when did you catch up?"

"Not soon enough," grumbled Cara, appearing behind Zedd. She gave Richard a fierce glare, added with a sneer that said she wanted to punch him in the face but thought better of it with Captain Kandon and all the Aydindril troops around.

"We did our best," Chase spoke up, shaking his head at the Mord'Sith. "But you were like an unstoppable gar."

Verna, the Sister of the Light, stepped up and gave a nod. "Nothing was going to stop the Seeker from getting to his Confessor," she said, as her eyes dropped down to little Sanya. "Especially when you told him the happy news."

Zedd nodded and stepped toward Kahlan, giving her a massively big grin. "Congratulations, dear one, on the healthy baby girl, and…," he glanced at Richard, his eyes catching sight of the wedding band, "on the wedding to a suitable mate."

"Suitable mate?" Richard scoffed as Zedd smothered Kahlan in a big grandfatherly hug.

The old wizard chuckled, winking at his grandson, as Kahlan giggled softly and closed her eyes, obviously enjoying having Zedd back. Richard notice Cara roll her eyes and she just gave him a nod, not wanting to do anything more than that. Richard smiled and shook his head, watching as Kahlan tightened her grip around Zedd. He knew the old wizard had started to view Kahlan as a granddaughter, even before it had become clear how his own grandson felt about her. Now… she _was_ family. Zedd turned and looked down at Sanya.

Richard raised his eyebrows. "Would you like to hold her?" he asked.

Backing out of Kahlan's hug, Zedd smile grew and gave a nod, his unruly grey hair bouncing about his head. Richard adjusted his arms and shifted little Sanya over into the outstretch arms of her great-grandfather.

"Oh, what a beautiful girl!" Zedd said. "And she has the Zorander chin! Marvelous!"

Richard and Kahlan exchanged a look and laughed. With his hands now free, he inched closer to Kahlan and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tight. Kahlan sighed and leaned into his hold, resting her back against his chest.

"And what shall I call you, little one?" Zedd said in an especially childish voice as he gazed down at his great-granddaughter.

"Sanya Cypher," Kahlan informed him, beaming.

"Cypher?" Zedd raised an eyebrow, then nodded thoughtfully. "Interesting."

Cara stood by Zedd's left side, while Chase and Verna hung back speaking with Darla. The Mord'Sith's brow furrowed and her eyebrows knitted together. "What's so interesting about that?" she huffed. "Richard's the father, aren't most children given their father's family name?"

"Oh, but not with confessors," Zedd informed his Mord'Sith friend. "You see, for confessors, their daughters usually take the mother's family name."

Kahlan nodded. "It is tradition," she explained.

"One you've changed, dear one," the old wizard said, looking down at her over his great-granddaughter.

"It seemed appropriate," Kahlan responded with a shrug, turning her head to look at Richard. "After all, Sanya is a child born of love… and not because I had to confess Richard to get him to sleep with me."

Richard grinned and squeezed her closer, kissing her cheek, causing Kahlan to blush with his public display of affection.

Cara rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You two…!" she grumbled.

Zedd chuckled and winked. Sanya looked up at him and giggled, grabbing with her little hands at his wizard's robe. "So," his grandfather continued, once he'd settled down. "When were you married?" His eyes, which still sparkled with mirth, glanced down to Richard and Kahlan's intertwined hands, taking note of the gold bands on their fingers.

"It's almost been two weeks," Kahlan replied, leaning more into Richard's chest. "Richard returned to me and… and we were married!"

"Oh, good for you," grumbled Cara, looking at Richard suspiciously.

"How was the ceremony?" Zedd inquired, rocking Sanya in his arms. "I would have liked to be there, but I can understand why you two couldn't wait." He smiled knowingly at them.

"Actually…," Richard grinned, pulling Kahlan tighter. "We sort of eloped." His grin widened as he used Kahlan's term for what they did.

"Eloped?" Zedd raised an eyebrow. "No special ceremony? No vows before the spirits?"

"It was just between Richard and me… and the good spirits," Kahlan said. "Richard used an incantation he learned at the Palace of the Prophets…" she knitted her eyebrows together. "I… I can't remember what he called it, but after it was done, we had these gold bands on our fingers."

Richard nodded. "It was called a Soul Fusion."

Suddenly all the mirth went out of his grandfather. Zedd stood very still for a moment, his smile turning upside down. "You… what?" his words sounded shocked and stunned. In a blink of an eye, Zedd seemed to rise in height. He held his great-granddaughter tightly to his chest and looked down at the two lovers with a grave expression. Even Cara seem to sense the change in his mood and was slowly backing away from the towering wizard.

Richard gulped, unsure why Zedd was reacting the way he was. He should be happy for them. "A Soul Fusion," he repeated, wondering if his grandfather had not heard him the first time. "That is what it was called."

"I heard you the first time," Zedd said, almost snapping, as if he had read his thoughts. "Bags! Richard, do you have any idea the gravity of what you've done?"

"What?" Richard exchanged a worried look with Kahlan. "It's just a marriage ritual from the early days of the magical laws. The wizards of old performed it. And I am, after all, a wizard. So I saw no harm in doing the same as they did."

"Yes," Zedd nodded, craning his neck to look over at Verna, who had catch sight of the change in the wizard and was coming over. "But to do what you've done… Richard, my boy, that was very foolish."

"What has Richard done?" Verna inquired, when she arrived.

Zedd clenched his jaw and looked down at the Sister of the Light. "The boy performed a Soul Fusion with Kahlan."

Verna's eyebrows shot up. "We did not teach him that, I can assure you."

"What's the matter?" Richard's brow creased in worry. He wrapped his arms tighter around Kahlan's waist, sensing her anxiety as well.

Zedd turned back to look at him. "You say you did this almost two weeks ago?"

"Yes, it was on the very night that Kahlan and I reunited," Richard explained.

Kahlan nodded. "I'd just given birth to Sanya an hour or two before hand."

The wizard let out a sigh of relief and nodded. "Good…," he then lowered his voice. "Then you have not yet consummated the marriage, yes?"

Richard felt Kahlan stiffen in his arms and he just stared blankly at his grandfather. Zedd frowned and looked to Verna and Cara. The Mord'Sith gave a knowing smirk and raised an eyebrow. "Come on, wizard, these two can't keep their hands off one another," she said, as if that explained everything.

"You… you didn't, did you?" Zedd questioned, his expression grave.

Kahlan swallowed, remaining silent, and Richard looked up at his grandfather. "It… it sort of happened, please, it was a mistake, we should have waited until Kahlan had recovered more… but… I could not—"

"No, Richard, don't take the blame for it," Kahlan spoke softly, raising her hand to touch his cheek, stilling his tongue. She turned and looked back up at Zedd, ringing her hands together in front of her. "I was the one who forced it. I wanted to consummate my marriage with Richard. I… I could not allow anything, not even the pain or discomfort I would feel, from stopping me from completing the bond between us."

Zedd just stood there with a gaping mouth. He began to stammer, then closed his mouth and swallowed before continuing. "You… you don't understand," he spoke again in a soft voice, slowly rocking Sanya in his arms. "Consummating a Soul Fusion, especially when the wizard who performed it is young and inexperienced, is extremely dangerous, even when the two involved truly love one another as you two do."

"Why?" Richard inquired, holding Kahlan close. "What could go wrong?"

The old wizard looked at them for a moment, then his eyes scanned the village square, as if seeing all the people for the first time. "I will tell you," he replied, turning his attention back to them. "But not here, not now. Somewhere more private would be more appropriate for this."


	55. Side Effects

**Chapter 55 – Side Effects**

They hurried into the tavern, and the Aydindril guards, under the command of Captain Kandon, quickly cleared the place. Sanya was left with Darla and Chase outside, the old midwife and the forest warden promising to look after the little confessor. Kahlan's heart had begun to pound profoundly in her chest the moment Zedd's jovial mood had turned south and turned grave. The same two questions kept running through her mind: What had been so wrong about the Soul Fusion spell that Richard had used? And why was Zedd so worried that they had consummated their marriage? From what she had observed of the spell, it seemed harmless enough; all it had done was manifest two gold wedding bands on their ring fingers. What was the harm in that?

Verna had come, as had Cara, but the latter for different reasons than the former. While Verna came on Zedd's insistence, no doubt because she knew something about the Soul Fusion spell, Cara had come because of her oath to protect Richard and Kahlan. And from what Kahlan could tell, the Mord'Sith was taking that oath very seriously. That much she thought was clear, especially how the blonde's eyes continually scanned the room, searching for any signs of a threat. It was that, and the fact that the Mord'Sith seemed to hover around them like a mother hen over her chicks.

Richard looked harried and flustered. His eyes narrowing as he glared up at Zedd, as if he was angry with his grandfather for disrupting the happy mood he had been in. Kahlan knew that from Richard's glances near the end of their approach to Ten Oaks, that he was looking forward to getting her into a real bed. Though it was still too early for them to make love the way they both wanted, Kahlan knew that there was other things that the Seeker had wanted to do with the Mother Confessor. The thought alone made her salivate with anticipation.

But now the mood had been killed by Zedd, a task he had often performed while on the quest to stop Darken Rahl, when Kahlan and Richard's feelings for one another were just coming into bloom. Kahlan had not expected such feelings to stir in her heart, but nonetheless, they had, and she welcomed them. And ever since the two had admitted their feelings for each other, Zedd had always been there to interrupt any intimate moment they could try and steal. Kahlan felt angry now, because this time things were different. This time, Kahlan and Richard were married, and damn it, they deserved some privacy to do what all married couples did.

"So," Richard started, his eyes still sending daggers at his grandfather. "What is so dangerous about the Soul Fusion spell?"

"There are side effects," the wizard tentatively answered, steepling his fingers and looking at them with his hazel eyes.

"What… what sort of side effects?" Kahlan pushed out, clutching on to Richard.

Zedd gritted his teeth together, and shifted his hands nervously, seemingly unsure what to do with them.

"Well?" Richard practically yelled. "Answer her!"

Kahlan looked into his face and could see the fury of the sword bleeding into his eyes. She ran her hand down his arm and grasped his hand, intertwined her fingers with his to try and soothe and calm him. He took a deep breath and lowered his brow, determined to get an answer, his gaze never wavering from his distressed looking grandfather.

"You have to understand," Zedd eventually spoke up, punctuating his sentences with gestures of his hands. "Soul Fusions are rare… and I don't mean rare as in precious stones or diamonds, but rare as in the Boxes of Orden." He paused and looked to Verna, who gave a slight nod. "In fact, they are exactly like the Boxes of Orden. There have only been three known times in which a true Soul Fusion has occurred."

"Three?"

"Yes," Zedd nodded vigorously. "Well, four now, if yours was a true Soul Fusion, that is."

Kahlan looked up at Richard to see his reaction. It was much as she expected. He lowered his brow and huffed. "It was, Zedd," he asserted firmly. "From all the texts I read about Soul Fusions, true ones can only occur when the two individuals involve truly love one another without any doubts or misgivings."

"That is the common understanding, yes," Zedd agreed. "But, what you don't understand is that the wizards stopped using Soul Fusion spells in their marriage rituals because of the terrible price for performing it either incorrectly or too hastily."

Richard was seething by now. It took all of Kahlan's strength to keep him calm. And she could tell, by the way his arm snaked tighter around her waist with each one of Zedd's sentences that she was the only thing keeping him from going mad with the fury the sword was feeding him. And the thing that was most amazing about the whole thing was that Richard was not even touching the sword, yet was still able to somehow draw upon its magic.

"It's been almost two weeks, old man," Richard growled. "If something was wrong or was going to happen, then it would have manifested itself by now."

Zedd exchanged a worried look with Verna, and then stepped forward a bit. "I know this might seem discourteous to ask, but I must know… when did you… um… consummate the marriage?"

Richard's nostrils flared and he looked like he wanted to punch Zedd in the face. His face scrunched up in irritation. "I really don't see how our sex life has any bearing on this at all, Zedd, and frankly, I don't think it's any of your business!"

Kahlan placed a hand on Richard's shoulder to calm him and took over. "It was two nights after he performed the spell," Kahlan informed the wizard, surprised at the strength and firmness of her own voice, when inside she felt in turmoil.

The old wizard sucked in a breath and rubbed his chin. "And you both reached release, no doubt."

She clutched Richard tightly, keeping him from moving. This was the only time that Kahlan could remember that she was actually afraid Richard might do something to hurt his own grandfather. She understood how Richard felt. He had been guilt ridden over their time in the river, feeling terrible that making love to her then had caused her to bleed down there. Kahlan had keep trying to reassure him that it was not his fault. She was the one to blame. And part of her still felt she deserved to feel the pain she did, mainly as punishment for having betrayed Richard last year when she took Dragen as a mate and lost her virginity to him instead of to Richard, like she had always wanted.

When neither responded to his question, Zedd opened his mouth to continue, assuming that he had been correct in his assertion. "No," Kahlan informed them bluntly, a blush rose to her cheeks as she realized she had just spoken aloud.

"What?" Zedd took a step closer, his brow creasing in confusion.

Kahlan felt Richard shiver and quake beside her, his shoulder slumping in shame. She reached down and grabbed his hand, trying to reassure him with her touch. "It was only two days after I had given birth, Zedd," Kahlan felt compelled to explain. "It was a hard and difficult birth, and would normally have taken slightly over two weeks for me to recover enough to… well to be all right for us to… but… but forcing Richard to make… make love with me, caused some scars to reopen and me to… to bleed…," she looked down feeling ashamed.

Tears slowly rolled down her cheek, as she felt crestfallen over what she had pushed Richard into doing. She knew he still blamed himself, and he probably would for some time, but Kahlan knew the truth. She had paraded her naked body to him in ways that were suggestive and provocative. She had wanted him to make love to her. It had been her who had convinced him to continue when he had started to hesitate and grow reluctant.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat. "Richard reached release. And I… I did not," she finished.

For a moment everyone was still, the room becoming as silent as a tomb. Standing off to the side, Kahlan caught Cara raise an eyebrow, looking at Richard as if he had done something very bad and was going to need to be punished. Richard trembled slightly, no doubt terrified that others were hearing his crime of not pleasing his wife when they had consummated their marriage. To reassure him that she did not feel the same way, Kahlan eased into him, pulling his arms around her, as she rested her head on his shoulder and slightly kissed his cheek.

Zedd exchanged some quick looks with Verna, the two speaking silently with their eyes, before the wizard turned back and gazed upon the two lovers. An excruciatingly long second passed before the tension in the wizard's shoulders relaxed and he let out a sigh of relief.

"Then the Soul Fusion was not completed," Zedd said, the release of his anxiety and distress evident in his voice.

However, despite Zedd's appearance of relief, Richard had not been sated. His anger still rolled off him. Kahlan could feel it and hugged closer to him, trying to calm him, knowing that her love was going to need some release after this intense row with his grandfather. She was already planning out their night's activities in her head when Richard suddenly spoke.

"We still consummated the marriage!" he seethed. "Kahlan and I _are_ married! She _is_ my wife!"

"Oh, I'm not disputing that, my boy," Zedd said, reassuring his grandson by raising his hand. "The marriage is valid, to be sure, it is just the Soul Fusion that was not completed. The spell hangs, as it were, around the couple for several weeks afterwards, waiting for the spell, itself, to be consummated. And for that to happen, while in the act of coitus, the two lovers must both reach release, and then—and only then—do we have a true Soul Fusion."

"Then it's all right, Richard," Kahlan spoke up, trying to calm her seething husband. "We are still married in the eyes of the good spirits. Who cares if our souls do not become intertwined through this spell? They already have been, long before you had even read about a Soul Fusion."

That seemed to work a bit, and Richard's breathing evened out as he turned and gazed into her eyes. He tentatively reached up and caressed her cheek, wiping away the remnants of the tears she had cried earlier during the conversation. "I'm sorry, Kahlan," he murmured softly. "I have failed you."

"Shh," she placed a finger to his lips, silencing him. "No. Never say that. You have not failed me. You heard Zedd, the marriage is still valid, even if the Soul Fusion was not fully completed."

Richard gave a nod, and he planted a delicate kiss on her lips. Afterwards, he turned and looked up at Zedd. "Will… will the rings disappear after this allotted time before the spell fades away when it has not been completed?"

"No, they shall remain," Zedd informed him. "The rings are a manifestation of your love for one another and have nothing to do with the intertwining of your souls. That comes from the act of physically becoming one through lovemaking, not the emotion itself."

Kahlan felt her cheeks blush with all this talk about lovemaking and the intertwining of bodies and souls. She had never spoken so openly about such things ever in her entire life. It felt odd and slightly embarrassing to be discussing her and Richard's sex life with Zedd of all people. And she was not sure how she felt about Cara overhearing all this, as well.

"Well, what about these side effects, then?" Richard spoke up, turning to look back at her. Kahlan gave him a quick version of her special smile and leaned into his chest, letting him take over the conversation. It seemed to be calming him to ask questions, and she welcomed that.

"It does not matter," Zedd said with a wave of his hand, dismissing it with ease. "As long as the Soul Fusion never fully engenders itself into you two, then we won't have to worry about it. Ease your mind, my boy, and bask in the love of the woman who is your wife. Believe me when I tell you, there is nothing quite like the love of a good woman."

Richard nodded. Kahlan chewed on her lower lip, knowing that Zedd was speaking of his own wife, Richard's grandmother. The old wizard rarely spoke of her, and Kahlan always assumed it was because of the hurt and pain it brought back. She could see it on the wizard's weathered features. Kahlan felt sorry for him, knowing that he must have lost her too early. Shuddering, she had a brief moment where she saw herself in Zedd's shoes, grieving over the loss of Richard. To reassure herself that he was still there, and very much alive, she squeezed closer to him.

Obliging her, Richard encircled his arms around her and kissed her brow. He hummed into her hair and she could feel him smiling. "All right," he spoke softly. "Now that this is done, let's go back out, get Sanya, and have something to eat before bed."

Zedd clapped his hands together and rubbed his belly. "I wholeheartedly concur with the Seeker," he said with a wink and a twinkle in his eye. "Let's get some grub… I'm starving."

As they walked back out of the tavern to retrieve little Sanya and regroup with the others, Kahlan noticed Cara roll her eyes and grumbled as she followed behind Zedd. Despite the distressing and embarrassing conversation, Kahlan could not help but laugh at the sight. It almost felt as if everything was slowly getting back to normal… if there was ever such a thing as normal.


	56. Focus

**Chapter 56 – Focus**

After entering the small suite, probably the biggest one in the entire inn, Kahlan closed the door, bolting it shut, and turned around to watch silently as Richard slumped down on the bed, resting his back against the headboard as he let out a frustrated breath. It had been roughly three hours since their talk with Zedd about the so-called side effects of the Soul Fusion spell, of which the old wizard had failed to actually tell them about, besides saying that it had been dangerous for Richard to attempt it. Kahlan could tell that Richard was still very much upset about the entire conversation, which was why she had asked Darla if she would look after Sanya for the night. The old midwife had agreed, seeming to sense that Kahlan had wanted some alone time with Richard. The path this alone time was going to take was no yet clear to Kahlan. There was things she wanted to do, but was unsure whether or not Richard was even in the mood.

Before the whole episode with Zedd in the tavern, Kahlan had been hoping that Richard and her could have "played" with each other tonight, as she had begun referring to the naughty things they had been doing to each other since that one time Richard had taken her into the woods and laid her down on a bed of leaves to pleasure her with nothing but his hands and tongue. Kahlan's breath still stilled at the memories of the sensations he had stirred in her that night. And spirits know, with all the stress during the latter half of the evening, Richard was going to need some sort of release, and Kahlan desperately wanted to give him one, even if it could not entirely be in the manner in which she waned. Just as long as she was able to relieve his stress from the day, she would be happy. Not to mention her own need for relief following what had been said about the Soul Fusion spell.

"Can you believe Zedd!" Richard grumbled, narrowing his eyes as he glared off at the opposite wall. "The nerve of him, suggesting that I had no business even performing the spell, not to mention asking about our… our sex life." He averted his eyes, and Kahlan recognized the look of hurt on his face from having the fact that he had not brought her to release when they consummated their marriage become public knowledge. After a moment, his expressed hardened and he sneered at the wall. "It is none of his business what we do when we are alone! Our privacy should remain that… private!"

Kahlan sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, folding her hands in her lap, slowly playing with the fabric of her dress, knowing that Richard was not going to be in the mood for any "playing" tonight. He was too cross and angry for any thing like that. She chewed on her lower lip and listened to him vent; if nothing else, she could do that.

"I mean, come on? What does he think?" Richard continued. "Spirits, Kahlan, he's still treating me like I'm some naïve wood's guide. I've gown. I've learned. Spirits, I stopped the Keeper of the Underworld from destroying all life. Surely that would have gained me some respect his eyes. But no… He still treats me like I'm a nobody from Westland."

"Richard," Kahlan spoke up, trying to reassure him. "He does not think that, and you know that."

Richard shrugged. "Maybe he's right, though," he sighed, racking his fingers through his hair, now starting to sound depressed. "If I had never become the Seeker, I would probably still be some stupid ignorant wood's guide."

Kahlan shook her head at his absurd idea. "Richard, you were many things back then, but you were never a stupid ignorant wood's guide."

"Oh, really?" he objected, looking up at her, his tone adversarial. "This coming from the woman who practically wrote me off the moment we first met. Admit it Kahlan, if I had not been the Seeker you probably would never have given me a second thought!"

She knitted her eyebrows together and bit her trembling lower lip, feeling a bit hurt at his comments. However, she did not know how to respond. The past was the past. So much of it brought her pain and heartache that she had tired of looking back on, as it only brought her sorrow and grief. Kahlan did not want to relive it. She wanted to be in the present with him… with her Richard. Looking at her with a look that said her silence was confirmation, Richard let out a heavy breath and turned his head.

"See!" Richard's voice with thick was raw emotion. "If we had just passed on the road and I… I was never named the Seeker, I would still be a nobody to you; just a fool who tried to save you when you required no help." His shoulders slumped, and he detached the scabbard from his belt, holding the sword up in front of him. "I'd be a nobody if it wasn't for this damn sword."

"No, that's not true, Richard," Kahlan protested, pulling her legs up off the floor and easing across the mattress to sit next to him. Wrapping her fingers around the scabbard, she took the sword from him and placed it down on the floorboards, before turning back to him. Tentatively, not sure if he was ready to be comforted, Kahlan placed a delicate hand on his chest, resting it just above his heart. "You are not a nobody."

He looked her in the eyes, his brow furrowing. "Then answer my question, Kahlan," his voice pleading. "If our continuing bumping into one another after you crossed the boundary had been different, and I was not the Seeker, would you have even still fallen in love with me… or would a different man be in my place now, with you? Would any Seeker do?"

Kahlan's throat clenched up. How could he even ask her such a question? She already felt terrible about everything she had done in the last year when she had taken a mate, betraying him by sacrificing her virginity to another man. He knew how guilty she felt about it. How could he demand an answer from? How? There was no way she could answer it without him twisting what she said to fit his irrational line of thinking. The past was the past; there was no reason to call up _what if?_ scenarios. Taking a deep breath, she moved her hand up to his cheek and forced him to look at her.

"Richard, stop this… Now!" she said as firmly as she could, using the authoritative voice she had been taught to use as a confessor.

He stilled and looked up at her with accusatory brown eyes.

Narrowed her eyes at him, she slipped into his lap, straddling him with her legs. "You are the man I love, Richard Cypher," she said. "And if you must know, then… all right, I will tell you. I… I had begun falling in love with the moment our eyes first locked. My heart started to stir and clench in my chest like it never had before when you helped me up off the ground after saving me from the D'Haran quad on that cliff."

"So… _now_ you admit that I saved you," he said, his voice softening a bit, his eyes drifting over her face as he gazed upon her intently.

Kahlan gave him a quick smile and continued. "You… you were the first man who ever touched me without fear of being confessed," she said, grabbing one of his hands in hers and slowly intertwining their fingers as she brought it up to hold it between them. "You are everything to me, Richard. You showed me a world that I thought I could never have. You dared to love me. You… you took me back after I betrayed you... you've given me a beautiful daughter… and have accept Ashley as your own. And… and you will always have my unwavering love in return." She paused and looked deeply into his dark brown eyes. "So… stop this constant thinking up of scenarios that can never be tested. Leave the past in the past, and focus on the present…" she brought his hand up to her lips and softly kissed it. "Focus on me."

Letting go of his hand, she brushed her hair back and gazed down into his eyes, seeing them soften. His eyes drifted down to stare at her lips. Kahlan watched as he swallowed, his eyes never once leaving their target. Slowly, his tongue came out and began to lick his own lips as he gazed intently at her lips.

"What are you waiting for?" she asked.

"Huh?" his eyes looked up at her, and he blushed, knowing he had been caught.

Kahlan looped her arms around his neck and stared down at him. "Kiss me," she commanded.

Tentatively, his hand brushed up her arm, then over her shoulder, and ended with gripping her head just between her neck and jaw, his thumb caressing her cheek. Richard gazed deeply into her eyes, and then, with a gentleness that only he possessed, he pulled her down and they united in a kiss that was slow and tender, yet filled with deep seeded passion and love.

Kahlan buried herself in him, pressing her mouth against his, as she deepened the kiss to a depth she had never kissed him before, because she had never once believed she had been worthy of it. Kissing him with a wild abandon that was foreign to her, Kahlan arched her knees to press her body up against his. She smiled into his lips as she felt him respond to her. He continued to grip her head, but his other hand, which had been resting on her hip, slowly moved to grab a generous portion of her bottom. She moaned into his mouth as he gave it a squeeze, then pushed back slightly to catch her breath.

Richard's ran his free hand down the length of her hair, and brought it back up to skim his fingertips long the exposed skin above the neckline of her blouse. Eventually his hand made its way down her neck to cup one of her covered breasts. Kahlan gripped his hair in his hands, letting her mouth drop slightly as she released a gasp of pleasure as he begun to feel her. Her lower lip quivered as she began to flush with excitement as she felt Richard growing excited, one hand latched on to her breast while the other squeeze the flesh of her bottom. She hastened to keep it that why by starting to rhythmically grind her hips over him.

"We have a lifetime to worry about other things," she breathed into his ear, pausing her movements just long enough to entice a groan from his lips. "But for right now, let us just enjoy one another… after all, this is the first night we will actually be sharing a bed as husband and wife."

Richard's eyebrows rose up and his eyes danced with desire, yet still showed more love than anything. His hands ceased their fondling, and came up to stroke through her raven black hair, pushing it away from her face. He looked intently into her eyes. "You're breathtakingly beautiful, Kahlan," he said, then averted his eyes. "But I could not… not right now… not after what happened in the river. I… I don't want to hurt you."

"Shh," Kahlan reassured him, shaking her head and leaning forward to plant a kiss on his nose. "Silly Richard," she teased tickling his ribs. "Have you already forgotten the things you've taught me?"

He gazed up at her questioningly, looking truly dumbstruck. Kahlan rolled her eyes at him and laughed. She leaned back and brought her hands up to her chest, and then slowly, as seductively as she could manage, because in truth she had never really ever tried to be seductive, Kahlan began to unbutton her blouse.

"Don't you remember, my love?" she asked him, giving him a mock pout. "You are the one who taught me that there were other ways we could please one another. And I'd say that we both need some release after the stress of this day."

Richard's eyes were transfixed on her chest as she slipped out of her blouse. His lips turned up in a grin. "Yes…," his eyes looked up at her, lighting up with mischief. "You're right, there are other things we can do."


	57. Promises

*This chapter is rated M.

* * *

**Chapter 57 – Promises**

Kahlan waited for him to make the next move, and he was quick at it. Richard's hands came up and he easily removed his vest jacket, causally tossing it to the floorboards. His hands then made speedy work of unbuttoning his shirt, as she leaned back, relishing the look of primal lust that was slowly taking over his eyes. Kahlan's heart pounded rapidly in her chest as she backed up on her knees and wiggled out of her underthings, almost giggling like a little girl when Richard pounced on her, pinning her to the mattress. She had just enough time to suck in a quick breath before his mouth covered hers as he kissed her deeply. His hands ran down her sides, stopping to cup her breasts in his hands, before continuing down to move up her skirt and massage her thighs. Kahlan closed her eyes and moaned into his mouth as they simply devoured one another.

She lost herself in the kiss to the point that when she opened her eyes, she had to let out a gasp of surprise, seeing that Richard had hurriedly removed her of the last remnants of clothing, leaving her stark naked on the bed. She shivered in delight at the way his warm brown eyes drifted over her body, the bulge in his trousers increasing as his eyes milked in the sight of her. Richard perched himself above her on his knees, his shirt haphazardly askew on his shoulders. He was in the middle of tugging it free and he wore a lazy grin that told her that he was now in a mood for some "playtime."

Almost immediately, not giving him another chance to pin her to the mattress, Kahlan sprang up and latched onto him, placing a hand on his shoulder, watching as he removed his shirt. Slowly, she traced the contours of his muscles, running her fingertips down his chest as he discarded his shirt. As she continued to explore his muscles, Kahlan let out a soft moan as Richard's hands combed through her hair before they skimmed with a leisurely pace down her back until they came to her bottom. He gripped her soft flesh there, and pulled her closer, gazing down into her sparkling blue eyes.

"You're the most beautiful woman I have ever met, Kahlan," he spoke is a husky voice, his breath moist and warm against her skin. Kahlan basked in the desire in his voice, as he leaned forward, nuzzling her neck, planting soft kisses on the flesh he found there.

She nearly squealed with delight as his hands continued to grip her bottom, pulling her closer and closer to him. Her eyes fluttered and butterflies soared throughout her chest as she thought of all the things Richard could do to her that brought her over the edge and into blissful oblivion.

"Oh, Richard…," she whimpered softly as his kisses stared moving up her graceful neck towards her jaw.

Before she could say anything more, he had captured her mouth with his. Kahlan closed her eyes and eased into him, kissing him with every restraint and wall she had ever put up crumbling to pieces. She was not a confessor, or the Mother Confessor. Not right now, at least. Tonight, she was simply Kahlan Amnell, a woman who desperately wanted to feel the reassuring touch of the man she loved, and to care for him and give him the release that had been long denied him during the past couple of nights.

It was true. During their little excursions into the woods, Kahlan had been on the beneficiary side of things. Richard had never asked her to do anything, just to simply stay still and let him please her. But now that was not enough. Kahlan wanted to be the one to tell him to stay still while _she_ pleased him. Richard deserved to be pleased as well. Kahlan did not think it was fair that it had all been about her. Richard was her world, and she wanted to return what he had given her.

Backing up to breathe, they rested their foreheads together as Kahlan continued to feel his chest. Sharing the air around them, Kahlan flushed when Richard's fingers drifted further down her bottom to reach between her thighs to the warm spot that had begun to grow extremely wet. Only he could make her so wet down there. Kahlan took in quick breath, and dropped her hands down to his waist, nervously grabbing at his belt. Noticing her trembling, Richard's hands stopped their exhaustive expedition towards her inner thighs, and he stared at her, a worried look working its way onto his face.

She did not know why, but she was trembling slightly as her fingers began working the fastenings of his belt. Running her tongue over her front teeth and then chewing on her lower lip, Kahlan wondered why she was so nervous about doing this. When she was younger she had always been anxious about trying new things, and she still was, but this was nothing new to her. She had seen Richard naked before. Spirits, she had felt him inside her as they made love. But still, she felt the anxiety in her stomach like a knot that would not be untied.

As if he could sense her nervousness, Richard removed his hands from her bottom and placed them on her shoulders, tenderly rubbing her arms to calm her nerves. She glanced up at him and gave him a weak smile of thanks, before turning her attention back to his belt. Fumbling for a moment, she finally managed to unbuckle his belt and then quickly set her mind to the business of unlacing his trousers. She could hear his breath grow heavy and warm as the sides of her lower arms brushed against his legs as she worked to untie the laces. He made no move to assist her, which was fine, because she had never undressed him, and had longed to do so for as long as she could remember.

As she worked on the laces, Kahlan suddenly remembered when she had caught a glimpse of Richard bathing in a lake. It had been nearly two years ago, when they had been on their quest to stop Darken Rahl. The circumstances were similar to when he had spied on her at that waterfall, but this time their roles had been reversed. This time, Kahlan had been the watcher. She had crouched down, hiding behind the brush, feeling her cheeks flush in a way she had never felt them flush before. Later, as she allowed herself to feel more and more for Richard, she realized that she had become aroused. Looking back on it, she wondered how she could not notice such a change, especially when her breath had grown heavy and her chest started to heave as he eyes had drank in the sight of the Seeker removing his shirt and beginning to unlace his trousers.

When she had moved, searching for a more comfortable place to silently observe the Seeker undress, Kahlan had accidentally stepped on a twig, which snapped so loudly that she had been afraid she would have had a stroke from fright at being caught. Richard had just been about to pull down his trousers when the snap resounded out through the morning air. He froze, his eyes going wide, like a spooked deer. Before she could be found out, and no doubt be mercilessly teased for complaining when he had "accidentally" spied on her at the waterfall, Kahlan had rushed away, feeling lightheaded and giddy. Now, here Kahlan was, unlacing those very same trousers, and sensing all the same feelings and sensations she had felt that day.

"So, Mother Confessor," Richard spoke, his voice bringing her back to the present. His warm breath blew through the silky hair on the top of her head, causing her to smile in delight. "What sort of naughty things do you have planned for this evening?"

Despite herself, Kahlan smirked and looked up into his playful eyes. "You're just going to have to wait and see, Seeker," she teased back.

Finally finished with his trousers, Kahlan tugged on them and pulled them down, her eyes lighting up when she saw just how aroused he was. She smiled up at him, giving him her special smile, and slowly pushed into him as she kissed him, delicately resting her hands on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her waist, his fingers playing with the small of her back, threatening to once again go after her bottom. Kahlan let out an airy giggle and leaned back, taking in a quick breath.

"How do I excite you so?" she asked, risking another look down at his ever-growing excitement.

Richard reached up, placing his hands on her face, tilting it back up to look at him. "It's simple…," he said. "I love you."

Kahlan felt like a glowing sun and just wanted to melt into her Richard. His love was like a shining beacon in the night. She would always feel safe within its glow… and his arms. He rested his hands on her shoulders and leaned forward, kissing her brow. She wrinkled her nose as she giggled happily, wondering what she had done to be so lucky to be loved, when all previous confessors had had to take mates, not husbands.

Slowly, she inched closer and lightly kissed his lips, before trailing a blazing hot path of kisses down his chiseled chest. Richard groaned and hung his head down to watch as she made her way down his chest, stopping at his abdomen. She flicked out her tongue and ran it over his hard muscles, loving how it made him shudder and moan. She reached up with her hands, placing them on his pectoral muscles as she gestured him down into a laying position on the bed. He rested his head on the pillow as she continued to kiss her way down his body. When she reached his waist, she paused, and swallowed the saliva in her mouth, looking up at him as if asking for permission to continue.

What she was about to do was not new to her, she had done it once before, back in the wayward pine, but that had been almost a year ago, on the very night Sanya had been conceived. And, on that night, Richard had not really allowed her that much time in learning how to do it. Maybe he didn't like it. Maybe he preferred the warm spot between her legs for this kind of pleasure. Resting her hands on his thighs, she looked up at him, pleading for him to tell her what to do. Kahlan raked her mind for what the working girls she had eavesdropped on, while she was in disguise on her journey to reunite with Richard in Westland, had called this. Suddenly remembering it, she darted her eyes up to lock with his.

"Richard…?" Kahlan broached tentatively, finding it hard to believe she was actually going to ask this. "Do… do you want me to give you a blow job?"

Her face immediately blushed. Here she was, the Mother Confessor, asking a man if he wanted her to pleasure him with her mouth. Richard's reaction was one of surprise. It looked as if he was amazed that she actually knew the term, and he just stared at her for a moment.

"Kahlan…," he began, then stopped, looking apprehensive. Kahlan bit her lower lip, afraid he would say that her previous attempt at doing this had been awful. But then he opened his mouth and continued. "Kahlan, you… you don't have to do anything that you are not comfortable with."

"But… but what if I want to do it?" she asked, creasing her brow in worry.

Richard sat up a bit and stared at her, appearing truly perplexed. "Why?" was all he asked.

Kahlan fumbled over her words and averted her eyes, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "You… you've done so much to please me, Richard… I… I just want to return the favor. I know we can't make love right now, because I'm still recovering from the birth, but I can still please you… can't I? It's not fair that I've been on the receiving end of all of our nighttime liaisons. You… you deserve some too."

He gazed at her for a moment and a crooked smile formed on his lips. "Kahlan," he replied softly, his eyes reflecting love. "I won't force you to do anything that you don't want to do, or feel uncomfortable with. But… if you want to try, I won't stop you. You can do whatever you want, however, I want you to do it because it is what you want, not because you think it is what I want. Understand?"

She gave a brief nod, asserting that she understood. "I… I want to, Richard," she said. "Really, I do."

"As I said, you can do whatever you want, Kahlan," he said, giving her a long look that told her that he would support whatever decision she made.

"What… what if I'm not good at it?" she worried.

"Just take it slow…," Richard paused, and then smirked. "Here." He reached out and grabbed one of her hands, bringing it down to his hardness. He wrapped her fingers around it, and then wrapped his own fingers around hers. "We'll start with this."

Richard stared deeply into her eyes as he began stroking their fingers up and down his length. His eyes slowly began to fog with pleasure, and a smile touched her lips, knowing that, though it was his hand directing their movements, it was her fingers that were touching him. She looked down and watched as he guided their movements. Then, slowly, he removed his own hand, letting her take over. Kahlan chewed on her lower lip, trying to follow the motions he had made and was worried she was failing. But then a low moan issued out from Richard's mouth.

Kahlan looked up. "Am… am I doing it right?" she asked, looking up at him, always worrying. He had done so much for her over the past couple nights, whisking her away into the woods to kiss her between her legs until she released, that she had wanted to do the same. She had begun to feel selfish, as in most of the pleasuring was being done to her. Richard had yet to ask her to do anything really substantial. The most she had done in the past few nights, since they had begun this playfulness, was grind her hips over him and press her exposed body against his.

"You're doing just fine, Kahlan," came his throaty response, as he let out another low moan.

She bit her lower lip and looked back down at him in her hand. Licking her lips, she remembered her daydream fantasies of tugging his trousers down and simply having at him. But she wanted to please him so much and she was nervous that she was not up for the task. Spirits, she had done this before, in the wayward pine, why could she not do it now! _Just open your mouth, Kahlan_, she told herself, _and suck on him. Pretend his cock is just a large—well extremely large—piece of candy_. Kahlan wanted more than anything to please him like he had pleased her. She had imagined herself doing it, yet now, almost across the finish line, she was hesitating, unsure of herself.

Suddenly his hands were on her and he was pulling her up. Kahlan furrowed her brow, but relented to his pull and let go of him, allowing him to guide her to his side, resting her head against his chest. She curled up next to him, lowering her eyebrows and closing her eyes. Kahlan was unsure what had happened, but assumed that she must have stopped stroking him and had just sat there like an idiot. She felt ashamed that she could not even bring herself to do what he had done for her. What was wrong with her? Her hopes of a fun filled evening had been completely smashed. Kahlan began to sob softly, knowing she was a failure and could never please Richard like he had pleased her. She was such a terrible bed companion... such an awful wife.

"It's all right, Kahlan," Richard whispered soothingly into her ear, as he tenderly rubbed her back, his hands running up and down her spine. "As I said before, I wouldn't want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

"But… but I wanted to do it!" she bleated through sobbing pants. "You… you've given me so much, and what do I do… tease you with promises that I cannot deliver on! I'm the worse wife ever!"

"Shh, no… you're not," Richard held her tight. He gripped her chin and lifted her face so that she was looking into his eyes. His fingers danced across her cheeks, gently wiping away her hot tears. "That fact that you offered to do something that I know you were uncomfortable and nervous about is beyond my imagining, Kahlan," he told her. "I'll only want you to do what you feel comfortable with doing. And I will never complain."

She chewed on her quivering lower lip and looked up at him with big eyes. "Really?"

"Yes, _really_," he said, smiling down at her. "And… to be honest, simply holding you like this is enough for tonight, my Kahlan. I just need your presence to help soothe me."

Kahlan narrowed her eyes as she gauged his honesty. Usually she never tried using this power on him, but tonight was different. She had meant for the night to be about pleasing him, and she had failed, leaving him hanging, for want of a release. However, as she scrutinized his expression, she saw no deception.

"Satisfied that I am telling the truth?" Richard knowingly questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," she nodded, averting her eyes, ashamed she had sunk so low to use her inner lie-detecting power.

"Don't you fret, my beautiful Kahlan," he murmured, affectionately rubbing her back and kissing her temple. "We will do more once we get back to Aydindril." He grinned and winked suggestively. "Much more."

"Promise?" Kahlan squeaked.

"Promise," Richard smiled and kissed her forehead.

Kahlan sighed and eased into his hold. She rested her head on his chest and listened to the beat of his heart beneath the surface. It was times like this, when Richard let her off the hook, so to speak, caring more about her than himself, that Kahlan counted herself as one of the fortunate few to have found such a great man who loved her.


	58. Ominous Return

**Chapter 58 – Ominous Return**

During their approach to Aydindril, Richard felt a renewed sense of hope and optimism that he had not felt in a long time. The source of this was unclear to him, but he believed it had something to do with _how_ he was going to enter the city.

Last time he had arrived in Aydindril, it had been with Zedd and Cara. He had been flushed with the victory over the Keeper and was looking forward to reuniting with the woman he loved, so that he could finally start working on the only quest he ever really cared about completing: Finding a way to love a confessor. But his hopes and dreams had been smashed, and his heart was torn from his chest when he had seen Kahlan was heavy with child.

Now, about to enter the city once again, Richard turned his head, seeing Kahlan by his side. And she was not just by his side this time; she was also holding their two-week-old daughter in the sling he had placed over her shoulder that morning. Kahlan noticed his gaze and their eyes locked for a moment, and she gave him her special smile, the one she only ever gave him. This was definitely a different feeling from the last time he had come to this city. This time there seemed to be a promise of a happier outcome.

However, her radiant mood was only temporary. She quickly turned away, returning her attention to steering the horse and to the little babe in her sling. Richard blinked and sighed. It had been almost two days since Ten Oak and that night in the bed when Kahlan almost went into a panic, falsely thinking that she was incapable of pleasing him as he had pleased her. He did his best to reassure her, hugging her tight and tenderly rubbing her back as they laid naked on the bed, yet she still seemed to doubt herself.

Sure, it was true, that he had felt a slight resentment at being left wanting, having been brought so close to release and then not given one. But those feelings were buried deep down inside him. Everything he had told Kahlan was the truth. He would rather please her than be pleased himself, and he would never ever ask her to do something she was uncomfortable with.

Kahlan's own thoughts on that night were a mystery to him. She had grown exceedingly withdrawn and distant, focusing most of her attention on Sanya. Which, in itself, was not all that bad, yet it started to interfere with their relationship. What really bugged him was that she had declined his offer to go sneaking into the woods for some alone time last night. Richard had come to enjoy whisking her away to the woods, spending some time alone with her before they rejoined the others for supper, relishing the sound of Kahlan moaning his name as he brought her to release with nothing but his fingers and tongue. Maybe he had been pushing her too much, and what had happened in Ten Oaks was just a symptom of a large problem, one stemming from issues that were far too painful for either to want to discuss.

Suddenly, without ever realizing it, all the hope and optimism he had felt when they first approached the city gates was disappearing. Richard started to feel a tremendous sense that something was wrong. He gritted his teeth and one hand strayed down to grasp the hilt of the Sword of Truth. He kept his eyes moving, taking in everything around them. A low mist was creeping across the ground as they crossed the portcullis and entered the city. He looked around for the cheering crowds to come rushing out to greet the Mother Confessor and her party, but nothing happened.

They came to a halt just past the portcullis. Richard's horse stomped its front hooves and snorted, seemingly anxious. He patted its neck and gripped the reins tight as he trotted the stallion around the square. Zedd rode at his side, and the two looked up at the vacant looking buildings all around them. Richard peered over his shoulder, looking back on Kahlan, checking to make sure she was okay. She had a faraway look on her face and she appeared to be lost in her own thoughts.

"It's quiet," Zedd spoke up, calling Richard's attention back to the building. "Almost too quiet."

Richard gave a nod and wheeled his mount around, trotting over to Captain Kandon. "Take a patrol and ride up to the Confessor's Palace," he said.

Kandon gave a nod. "Yes, Seeker." He turned and signaled to some of his men, and they set off, galloping ahead through the mists.

"We should follow, at a slower pace," Zedd suggested.

Nodding, Richard tugged on his reins and pulled his stallion back to stay close to Kahlan, as the group began making their way up the streets towards the Confessor's Palace. In the distance, just visible through the low lying mist was the Wizard's Keep, reaching up into the sky like a looming dark shadow. Richard looked over his shoulder, locking eyes with Cara for a moment. That was all it took for the Mord'Sith to read his worry, and she kicked her horse, urging the gelding up along side Kahlan's left flank. Kahlan jerked her head slightly, taking note of the shift in position, but she said nothing. Zedd and Verna trotted alongside each other, quietly whispering.

Chase brought his gelding up close to Richard's and he exchanged a glance with him, before casting a cautious look around the empty streets. "Something seems off, Richard," his friend said. "Last time we arrived here, the place was packed, and once they caught sight of Kahlan, there was an uproar of excitement, not to mention a lot of bowing."

"What'd you expect, Dell Brandstone," chortled Darla, not far behind. "Richard found himself a princess!"

Richard grinned at that, but smile widely when he noticed Kahlan blushing. They were definitely going to have to have a chat with Darla and explain to her what exactly Kahlan was. Though, a queen or princess was probably close enough for now.

"I wonder where everyone his?" the old midwife questioned aloud to no one in particular.

He looked back over at Chase and gave a slight nod. The forest warden took the cue, and slowly lowered one hand to grasp the hilt of his own sword. He fell back to speak with Darla, letting the old woman know that something was not right.

Cara stayed by Kahlan's side, narrowing her eyes as she scrutinized every alley and doorway as they slowly made their way through the streets. Richard positioned himself between Kahlan and the other side of the street. He squinted through the mist as it parted just a bit to give them a glimpse of the dome of the Confessor's Palace, looming above the rooftops. He bit his lower lip, suddenly becoming overwhelmed with the feelings that Kahlan was in danger. It washed over him like a tidal wave, and he swallowed hard, no longer worrying about the emotional gap that had slowly grown between them and focusing on her well being, and the well being of their daughter. Because, with Kahlan carrying Sanya, they would both be in danger in the event of an attack.

Sanya must have sensed the rising tension in the air, because she started to mewl softly. Kahlan adjusted her hold on the reins and looked down at their child, and with her free hand gently caressed the infant's head, cooing softly to soothe her. Richard tightened his grip on the hilt of the sword and scanned the buildings, looking at the windows and rooftops. Then he saw something. Yes, there were people here. He could see them cowering behind the windowsills, risking terrified looks outside.

"Richard?" Kahlan's voice was shaky, with a pinch of fear laced in there, but only so much that only he picked up on it. Only he was that perceptive when it came to her.

Jerking the reins, he directed the horse, closer to Kahlan. Her eyes were big and fearful. She was no stranger to dangerous situations, having run from D'Haran quads and crossed the Midlands with him and Zedd to defeat Darken Rahl, but this situation was unlike any they had ever been in together. This time, it was not just themselves that could be in harm's way, but their child.

"I'm here," he reassured her, looking into her eyes. "And I'm not leaving."

Kahlan heaved in a deep breath and gave nod, before returning her attention back to Sanya, trying to quiet the mewling babe. Richard positioned his horse in such a way that Kahlan's mount would have no choice but to follow his lead, giving Kahlan a little more freedom to calm Sanya.

"What are the people afraid of?" he overheard Cara asked.

"I don't know," was his response, as he looked around at the windows, with each passing building registering the cowering people within more and more.

The sounds of galloping hoofs called his attention back to the street. He looked up, expecting to see Captain Kandon and his two lieutenants returning. But when the riders appeared through the mist they looked unfamiliar, not to mention their number had increased dramatically. About twenty mounted men were coming their way. Richard recognized the Aydindril guard uniforms, but not the men wearing them. Unsure why such a number was riding out to them, Richard checked the sword to make sure it was clear of its scabbard. He did not like the eerie silence that had descended upon the city; the only sounds come from the galloping horses, and his daughter softly crying.

They pulled their horses to a halt when the men reached them. Richard looked over them, not seeing Captain Kandon among them. He began to grow worried. One of the horsemen trotted forward. He wore a similar style of uniform to Kandon, so Richard assumed that he must be the second captain.

"What's going on?" Zedd inquired.

The man narrowed his eyes and looked at Zedd and simply ignored him. He turned his attention to Kahlan. "Mother Confessor?"

"You… you will answer him, Captain Burren," Kahlan's voice was shaky at first, but she regained it quickly, asserting her authoritative confessor's voice and referred to the captain by name.

Captain Burren inclined his head. "The Council has placed the city under curfew, Mother Confessor," he informed them.

"A curfew? Why?" Zedd asked, looking baffled.

The captain looked over at him for a moment, before turning his attention back to Kahlan. "We must get you to the Confessor's Palace at once, Mother Confessor," he said.

Kahlan nodded. "Of course, yes."

Richard sighed, and released the tension in his hand and made a move to follow as Kahlan's horse trotted past his. But as he approached the group of mounted Aydindril soldiers, his gut twisted into knots. Captain Burren pulled his horse up in front of his and held out his hand up to stop him. Richard's brow creased in confusion.

"What?"

"You may not go any further," Burren said, narrowing his eyes, glaring at Richard. "None of you may go any further."

Richard arched his neck and saw that Kahlan was already out of earshot, being ushered away by the guards to the Confessor's Palace. He looked back at Captain Burren and slowly moved his hand towards his sword.

"I would not do that if I were you," the captain said.

He paused, hearing the metallic clicks of crossbows. Richard looked up and saw some of the mounted soldiers had the weapons up and were pointing them at him.

"What is the meaning of this, Captain Burren?" questioned Zedd, bringing his horse up to give the captain a glare.

"Orders from the Council," Burren replied.

"I am the First Wizard, you will let me pass!" Zedd ordered.

Captain Burren gave a pointed look at Zedd. Richard thought it almost looked like a sneer. "You may have been that once, Wizard Zorander, but no longer," he said. "While you were gone, the Council voted to remove you from that position."

"They can't do that!" Zedd huffed. "The Order of Wizards has remained autonomous from the Council for centuries. And last time I checked, I was the only Wizard of the First Order."

"You may be at that, Wizard Zorander," Burren conceded with a nod his horse strutting around in front of them. He then cocked his head and glared at Zedd. "But you are also a traitor."

"What!" babbled Zedd, his bushy eyebrow shooting up in surprise.

Richard narrowed his eyes, and let out a low breath. He had had enough of this. Jerking the reins hard on his horse, he pulled himself between Zedd and the captain. "Do you know who I am?" he asked the man.

"The Seeker," Burren replied with a look saying that it was obvious.

"Yes," Richard nodded. "And I also happen to be the husband to the Mother Confessor. So, you will let us pass."

Captain Burren snorted and laughed. "Husband to the Mother Confessor, you wish!"

"I am, now let us pass," Richard spoke through gritted teeth, emphasizing each word.

"No confessor ever marries a man who is not confessed, and you are clearly not confessed," Burren said, smirking slightly. "And besides, she already has a mate. And he's waiting for her right now."


	59. Rahl Threat

**Chapter 59 – Rahl Threat**

Arriving at the Confessor's Palace without Richard by her side was difficult, but Kahlan thought that he might have hung back to discuss the defense of the city with Captain Burren and the others. When she dismounted and walked into the grand foyer, Kahlan suddenly got an odd feeling that something was out of place. Looking around at the tall statues of the former Mother Confessors and their Wizards that adorned the hall, she furrowed her brown and chewed on her lower lip, trying to place the odd feeling she had in her gut.

Sanya let out a little cry, and Kahlan looked down at her, slipping her out of the sling so that she could cradle her in her arms. After a moment or two alone, maidservants finally appeared, one of them holding Ashley in her arms. Upon seeing her mother, the little girl, now slightly over one year old, let out a little squeal of delight. Ashley's hair had grown out a little more, but it was still mainly fuzz on top of her head, yet it was clearly blonde. The maidservants smiled and closed the distant between them.

"Hello, Ashley," Kahlan beamed, as the maidservant held Ashley up. "I want you to meet some one. This is your little sister, Sanya."

Ashley's big blue eyes took in the small baby and she gurgled happily, reaching out to touch Sanya's chubby little arm. Sanya let out a high-pitched squeal and smiled up at her big sister. Kahlan pursed her lips together and fought back the tears of happiness that wanted to come out at seeing her daughters meet for the first time. She pressed her lips together as she smiled down at her daughters, and suddenly had a flash of what it would be like to watch them grow up, playing and learning together. Her smile grew as she imagined the others that would follow. Kahlan had no doubt that Richard and her would make many confessors together.

"The Council wants to see you, Mother Confessor," the maidservant with empty arms said. "If you want, I can take the baby so you can go and see them."

Kahlan bit her lower lip, not knowing if she really wanted to be parted from her little ones just yet. She'd missed Ashley more than anything, and Sanya was hardly three weeks old. However, she did have need to speak with the Council. Something was going on in Aydindril and she needed to find out what it was. So, reluctantly, she handed Sanya to the other maidservant and kissed both her daughters' heads, before the servants left, taking them to the nursery.

She stood there for a moment and took a deep breath, slowly taking the sling off her shoulders and folding it. Holding it up to her nose she could smell the scent of her baby, but also of Richard, who had worn the sling around his shoulders just as much as she had. Kahlan smiled, loving the combination of scents. Hugging the cloth to her breast, Kahlan turned on her heels and marched down the hall towards the great double doors that led to the council chambers.

XXX

Slinking through the shadows of the columns in the great hall, the figure watched as the Mother Confessor entered and greeted the maidservants. After speaking with them, the confessor handed over her babe, and then marched down the hall towards the council chambers. Once the watcher was positive that the Mother Confessor was inside the chamber, they turned and darted out across the marble tiles and made their way up the grand staircase to follow the maidservants to the nursery. Finding the room with ease, the watcher opened the door, stepped inside, and closed it.

Reaching up and pulling down the hood, Nicci revealed herself to the two maidservants. "Well done, my Sisters," her lips curled into a wicked grin.

Sisters Merissa and Marianna, dressed as maidservants, each gave a bow of their heads. Nicci moved past them and looked down at the twin cribs. Ashley and Sanya had been put to bed and both were sleeping soundly. The Sister's eyes narrowed as she examined each child.

"This one is definitely the Seeker's," she said, holding a hand over Sanya. "Look at the hair… not to mention the nose. Her features match the Seeker with eerie perfection."

"She has brown eyes, too," Marianna said.

Nicci looked up and knitted her eyebrows together. "The Mother Confessor is meeting with the council right now, and Sister Bree is preparing our little surprise in the confessor's chambers."

"Will the Council play their part?" Merissa questioned.

Nicci threw back her head and laughed mercilessly. "They are under an enchantment that makes them believe they are doing the right thing. They only know what we want them to know, and they will only do what I have planted in their minds to do."

"So the plan will work?" Marianna asked.

Nicci nodded. "It will. But just in case, I want you two to stay and watch over these little confessors. If something goes wrong… kill them."

"Understood," Merissa inclined her head.

With one last look at the sleeping babes, Nicci smirked and left the room, counting the minutes until the Keeper's victory over the world of the living will finally come.

XXX

"What?" Kahlan gasped, not believing what she was hearing. She had known many of these people for years and she found it difficult to believe that they would say such things, especially about Zedd, who had been First Wizard for decades, and had still held the title even after he had disappeared across the boundary into Westland.

"You heard us, Mother Confessor," the head councilor said. "The First Wizard put a love spell on you to make you fall in love with his grandson, the Seeker. He then gave his grandson some potion that made him immune to your powers."

"Their intention was to sire a confessor with wizard's blood, whom they could then used to their own advantage to take over Aydindril," another finished.

"No, you are mistaken!" Kahlan objected.

"We have the proof!" yet another shouted, holding up papers and huffing like this was a matter of life and death.

"Let me see them!" Kahlan commanded, holding out her hand.

"You are still under their spell, Mother Confessor," the first one spoke again. "We have put the city under a curfew and are currently having Captain Burren arrest the two traitors."

"Richard and Zedd are not traitors," she did her best to speak in a calm voice, but it was hard when the man she loved and the man who was like her grandfather were being attacked from all sides.

"Then why do they have a Mord'Sith with them!" snapped the second councilor. "We've heard rumors that the Seeker is in fact the illegitimate son of Panis Rahl. It is only logical to assume that since Darken Rahl has been killed that the Seeker has taken his place as Master of D'Hara."

"Don't you see, Mother Confessor," the first interjected. "The Seeker has been using you to produce an offspring that has both confessor and Rahl blood. That way, unlike his brother, he will have some legal claim to the Midlands."

"Richard is not planning to seize control of the Midlands," Kahlan said.

"You illustrate our point for us, Mother Confessor," the one with the papers said, looking sorrowful. "With their magic they have conned you into to believing that he genuinely cares for you, evident with how he has gotten you to call him by his first name."

"What?" Kahlan was baffled. Their logic made no sense.

"Mother Confessor, we sympathize," the first councilor spoke up. "We know this must have been difficult for you… and very confusing. You had taken a mate and grew with child. We could all see how happy you were with Dragen. Then the Lord Rahl shows up and leaves his wizard behind. The wizard than began to slowly cast his spell on you, making you abscond from the palace to go to the Lord Rahl. Where, after you gave birth to your lovely daughter Ashley Amnell, he lulled you into a false sense of security until you were fertile again."

"Where upon, after drugging you or spirits knows what, he induced you to sleep with him, planting his seed," the second said, looking at her with raised eyebrows as if to say she knew what he was saying was the truth.

"Which has now blossomed and grown into the very thing the Lord Rahl has been after since this all began," the last councilor spoke. "A confessor with Rahl blood."

Kahlan shook her head, not believing what she was hearing. How could they believe this? Richard was the Seeker of Truth for crying out loud. He had saved not just the Midlands, but also the entire world, from the hands of the Keeper, and here they were accusing him of using magic to seduce the Mother Confessor in order to gain a foothold in the Midlands by having a child with Rahl blood.

"You look exhausted, Mother Confessor," one of the council said. "Perhaps the strain of hearing the truth has been too much on you."

The others nodded. "Go back to your chambers, Mother Confessor, and rest," the head councilor said. "Let us deal with the Rahl threat."

She swallowed and looked at them like they had all gone insane. _I… I have to get to my daughters_, she thought. _They may be in danger_. So, Kahlan nodded, and played along. "Yes… I… I should get some sleep, and think this over."

"That would be wise, Mother Confessor," the councilors nodded in agreement.

Taking a deep breath through her nose, Kahlan clasped her hands together in front of her and turned to exit the council chambers. Once the double doors closed behind her, she broke off in a run. Her footsteps echoed off the marble tiles as she crossed the grand foyer, rushing for the staircase. Just as she reached the first step, she stopped and looked up, seeing a woman in a silky red robe standing before her.

"Where are you going, Mother Confessor?" she asked in a calm voice.

Kahlan narrowed her eyes and looked upon the woman. She was tall and beautiful, with long brown hair and piercing blue eyes. The cut of her silk dress showed off her figure and overtly advertise her cleavage. Kahlan recognized the robes of a Sister of the Light, but the look in this woman's eyes was unlike any Sister she had ever encountered. Remembering Richard's tale about his time in the Palace of the Prophets, Kahlan came to the realization that this must be a Sister of the Dark, one of the Sisters who had turned their back on the Creator to worship the Keeper of the Underworld.

Raising her hand, threatening to confess her, Kahlan clenched her teeth. "Get out of my way!"

"No," the Sister of the Dark replied with a smirk. Kahlan made a move to grab the woman's throat. The sorceress jumped back and laughed. "I think not, confessor," she sneered. "If anything shall befall me then your daughters shall die."

Kahlan's heart clenched in her chest and she froze. Her eyes grew wide with terror and worry. "What… what do you want?"

The Sister of the Dark looked down on her with a cruel smile. "Oh, it's not what I want, Kahlan Amnell, it's what _you_ want."

"And what do _I_ want?" Kahlan snapped back.

"Isn't it obvious?" the Sister of the Dark asked, highly amused. "You've just come back from being held captive by the wicked Lord Rahl. You want to go back to your chambers and find comfort in the arms of your mate."


	60. Assault

**Chapter 60 – Assault**

"My… my mate?" Kahlan choked out, stumbling over her words, hardly believing what she was hearing. She had thought that listening to the council speak was difficult, but this Sister of the Dark had her glued to her words in a way that the council had not. "I… I don't know what you're talking about."

The beautiful woman standing before Kahlan threw her head back and laughed. "Oh come on…!" The sorceress sauntered down the steps, smiling smugly. "You know very well what I am talking about, Kahlan Amnell," the Sister of the Dark said. "When you came back to Aydindril after the defeat of Darken Rahl, you took a mate. Sure, you resisted at first… but we all know, how desperately you wanted to feel a man between your legs. So… you picked the first candidate, a D'Haran captain, I believe… by the name of Dragen. Tell me I'm not right?"

Kahlan glared up at the woman, breathing heavily. She wanted so much to deny everything that the woman said, but she could not, because every word was the truth. She had wanted to feel a man between her legs, but her thoughts on that subject were always directed towards Richard. Not any man would do, it had to be Richard, but that… that was impossible, at least she had thought so at the time. So she had relented to the council's demands and had taken a mate to continue the line of confessors. She was the only confessor left, so it had been her duty. A duty she did not want to perform, but one she had to nonetheless.

Swallowing the bitter bile in her mouth, being reminded of the betrayal she had done, Kahlan narrowed her eyes at the sorceress. "What does that have to do with anything? And, even if I wanted to, you know very well I could not seek comfort in my mate's arms," Kahlan almost snapped. "Dragen died. I am free of that union. I am married to Richard now… he, and he alone, will be the only one that brings me comfort." She shot a look of hatred at the Sister of the Dark. "Whatever you are planning, Richard is going to stop you!"

"Ha!" the Sister of the Dark laughed. "So much spirit in you. I can see why the Seeker is so fascinated by you. It must have been quite a shock to you, Confessor, to have a man fall in love with you without having to confess him."

"It was you! All you!" Kahlan spat out, ignoring the mocking taunt. "You turned the council against me!"

"Oh, it was not that hard," she replied. "The more simple the mind, the easier for a sorceress of my caliber to control it. And who could imagine that it would be so easy! All I had to do was cast a spell on your stupid council and Aydindril was mine! Ha!"

Kahlan crossed her arms and made a point of not responding.

"Well, never mind," the sorceress took a few more steps closer to her. "We must get you up to your bedchambers at once, you're mate is waiting for you… and we need to make sure that the line of confessors continues, now don't we?"

"What?" Kahlan's mouth dropped down in terror.

"Dragen never died, silly girl," the Sister of the Dark smirked. "Oh, you may have thought he had, but he did not. You underestimated him and his love for his mistress. Once the bandits had left, he came too and crawled across the forest floor, looking for you. He stumbled upon a cabin, where a group of trappers took pity on him and nursed him back to health. His injuries were severe, yes, but he recovered. And once one of my Sisters found him and told him that his mistress was alive, he was eager to return to you, so that he may comfort you in the fashion we all know you wished to be comforted in, Kahlan Amnell."

A cruel smile formed on the sorceress's face when Kahlan just stood there, too shocked and appalled by what she was hearing to react or respond.

"I can see why you chose him," she said, raising her eyebrows suggestively. "He is very well equipped…" she paused for an agonizingly long second. "Does the Seeker know you chose a mate so well endowed? I wondered what the Seeker would think if he knew how much Dragen made you scream in ecstasy?" When Kahlan did not respond, the Sister of the Dark gave a shrug. "Well, no matter, the Seeker will soon learn how much you enjoy your mate over him."

Kahlan was fuming. She opened her mouth to snap a retort back when suddenly the sorceress's hand was on her forehead. Everything seemed to freeze and become still. And then it was black.

XXX

"What do you mean she already as a mate?" Richard snapped at the man.

Captain Burren raised his eyebrows and looked around at the other men. "You mean you do not know?" he asked and then let out a sigh. "Last year, when the Mother Confessor returned, the council told her that it was time she took a mate and continue the line of confessors. She hesitated for a long time, but eventually relented to their pleas and took a captured D'Haran captain named Dragen as a mate."

"Yes… I know all that," Richard growled, not wanting to dwell on it. "But Dragen is dead. He died in Westland, killed by bandits."

"Well, I don't know what to tell you, then," Burren said. "But he showed up two days ago with the aide of some very friendly Sisters of the Light."

"Sisters of the Light?" Verna looked up from her horse, looking perplexed. Richard registered it, and knew immediately by her reaction that these so-called Sisters of the Light had to be Sisters of the Dark, and that they were up to something that involved… involved Kahlan's mate.

Burren seemed to be oblivious to all the looks that the group were giving each other. He pulled the reins of his horse and signaled his men to form up. "Now, if you don't mind, Seeker, I have my duty to perform."

Six horsemen immediately surrounded Zedd and the crossbows were aimed at him point blank. There was no escaping them if they were to be fired. Richard exchanged a look with his grandfather, and the silent conversation that passed between them was only something that two people who had gone through much adversity could have. Without resisting, Zedd allow the men to bind his hands behind his back and cover them with a cloth. For some reason, they thought that could stop him. Zedd gave a knowing wink, as they escorted him away.

"You're just letting them take him?" scoffed Cara, baffled, who had not been privy to Richard and Zedd's private conversation. Richard glanced back at her and their eyes locked. They, too, shared silent words that only they could hear with just a glance and look. The Mord'Sith gave a nod of understanding, then stilled her horse, which had been itching for some action.

Hiding his smile, Richard turned back to Captain Burren. "I assume I'm to be placed under arrest as well."

Burren did a double take, looking very surprised. His mouth hung open for a moment, before he regained his composure. "You… you are very perceptive, Seeker," he said. "I assume that you won't be putting up a fight, then?"

Richard nodded and removed his hand from his sword. "I will go peacefully," he said. "Though, I have one request."

The captain hesitated for a moment, and then nodded.

"From what I understand of the law of the Midlands, it is the right of the accused to demand trial by confession," Richard said.

"Yes," Burren said, narrowing his eyes, as if he could sense what Richard was going to ask. He looked unsure whether he would permit it or not.

"Then that is what I demand," Richard spoke firmly, staring hard at the Aydindril captain. "Trial by confession!"

XXX

Blinking in the dim light, Kahlan groaned slightly from the ache in her head. Whatever the Sister of the Dark had done to her had been painful and had knocked her out. As her senses came back, Kahlan realized that she was lying in the big bed in her chambers… and she was completely nude! Her first response was to try and sit up, but some invisible force seemed to be holding her down. She fought against it as hard as she could, but she could not budge.

Then she felt it, the tingling of fingertips dancing up her leg. Arching her neck, the only part of her body she could move, Kahlan looked down and saw a nude Dragen, a nasty wound on his chest, sitting on his knees beside her, his fingers touching her bare legs. Her eyes went wide with terror, realizing everything that the Sister of the Dark had said was true. Dragen had not been killed, which meant, under the law of the Midlands, he was still her mate and her marriage to Richard was illegal and therefore void.

Dragen looked down at her, orange candlelight flickering off his handsome features. "Do not worry, mistress," he said, reaching up to caress her cheek. "I am here… and I will comfort you as you have commanded me to do."

Kahlan opened her mouth to speak. She could stop him with a single word, but when she tried to issue out an order, nothing came. She was frozen, unable to move or speak. Dragen moved over her, touching her body in all the places she had only wanted Richard to touch. His hands groped her breasts and squeezed her thighs, as he grew harder. Her insides churned with the need to fight back and stop this, but her body would not respond to the commands her mind were issuing out to her limbs.

Dragen moved over her, his knee coming between her legs, as he gently pushed them apart. "I will make love to you, mistress," he spoke softly, with the gentle forced compassion of a confessed man. "Just as you commanded."

She wanted to scream at him that this was not what she wanted. But no matter how much she tried, nothing would come out of her mouth. Hot tears streamed down her face as she felt Dragen position himself above her. She could feel him brushing against her inner thigh, as he grew closer. All she could do was cry and scream in her mind.

Somewhere in the shadows, Kahlan thought she could her the low laughter of the Sister of the Dark. She darted her eyes around the chamber, looking for the source, but could not find it. Then, just as Dragen primed himself for entry, the wicked sorceress appeared out of the darkness and stood in the candlelight.

"Enjoy yourself, Mother Confessor," she said. "I'm sure the Seeker will understand."

And just like that, she vanished. Kahlan turned her head back and cried as she felt Dragen push himself up into her. No, this could not be happening. It was not fair! Her life had finally been going in the way she wanted and now here she was, literally being raped by a confessed man and unable to do anything to stop him. Her only form of resistance was to cry, and even that was difficult to do. Yet she could still feel the hot tears streaming down her face just as vividly as she could feel the throbbing pain between her legs as Dragen thrust himself back and forth inside her.


	61. Righteous Fury

**Chapter 61 – Righteous Fury**

Richard was shackled and his sword was taken from him. The guards escorted him into the Confessor's Palace, Captain Burren looking apprehensive, as if he was going against his orders. But Richard knew the law of the Midlands, and any man accused of a crime had the right to call for a trial by confession. The councilors of the Midlands Council were in the middle of dispersing. They all stopped in the tracks, their confused gazes looking out as they watch the guards march Richard across the marble floor of the grand foyer. As they crossed their line of sight, Richard stared at them, noticing that all the councilors looks befuddled and disoriented, as if some spell had just been lifted from them.

Deciding to ignore them for the moment, having more pressing concerns of his own, Richard concentrated on his present situation. He could tell that Captain Burren and his men believed every word they said; yet Richard knew it was not the truth. It couldn't be, unless Sister Nicci had somehow resurrected Dragen, that is, if he had died liked Kahlan had believed, but she could have been mistaken. She had been frightened and about to be attacked by bandits… she… she could have been wrong.

As Captain Burren led them up the steps, they walked past two maidservants, whose heads were bowed and shrouded by white hoods. Richard narrowed his eyes, thinking he recognized them, but before he could get a second look at their faces, they were gone. And since he was in custody right now, he could not very well stop and turn back to examine them more closely.

Upon reaching the top of the grand staircase, Burren guided them down a series of corridors and hallways. Richard was unfamiliar with the layout of the Confessor's Palace, so he had made no resistance when they arrested him, knowing they could not refuse his request for a trial by confession. And the fact that they were presently taking him to the Mother Confessor was yet more proof that these men were not under some spell or enchantment. Knowing that the Sisters of the Dark, and more specifically Sister Nicci, were involved in this travesty, Richard felt it was safe to assume that only the council had been thoroughly bewitched, because the Aydindril guard would obey them without word.

Continuing down the candlelit halls, Richard began to feel an ominous feeling that something was wrong, that something terrible was happening at this very moment. He could not pinpoint exactly where that feeling was coming from, yet he knew it was there. Long ago, when he had begun sensing these feelings, Richard had assumed that it had something to do with him being the one true Seeker of Truth. That, and with the added knowledge that he was in fact a wizard as well, Richard felt it was a safe bet that these "gut feelings" as he sometimes called them, came from his Han and whatever other magic that existed within him as the Seeker.

Captain Burren came to a halt and stood by a large oak door. His brow creased in confusion.

"What is it?" Richard asked.

Burren turned and looked at him oddly. "There… there should be two guards here at all times," he was clearly stunned and confused.

Richard's heart immediately began to pound with fierce need to act. His gut had been right, something was wrong. Burren looked at his men for a moment, chewing his lower lip, as his eyes searched for a decision. Unable to stand the wait, Richard pushed forward and butted the guard to his right with his elbow, escaping for a moment. He shuffled away from them, the chains rattling around his ankles.

"What are you waiting for, Captain! Open the damn door!" he shouted before the guards grabbed a hold of him again.

The Aydindril captain studied him for a moment, and then gave a tentative nod. Reaching down to his belt, he removed a set of keys on an iron ring. He flipped through them until he came to the appropriate one. Stepping up to the door, Burren inserted the key into the lock and turned it. The sounds of the metal tumblers unlocking was like music to Richard's ears. He resisted the urge to pull away from the guards and ram through the door, knowing that they would only then knock him unconscious for trying to escape, which, at the moment, would be how they would perceive his actions.

Burren pushed opened the door and Richard was hauled inside. Once inside, everyone came to a complete stop. Some of the men let out some gasps and immediately aver their eyes, looking to the floor. Captain Burren did as his men, mumbling incoherently. Everyone was dumbstruck and could not speak, only keeping their head down and eyes avert. Everyone, that is, except Richard. He stood stark still, staring out at the sight before him with utter and complete confusion and heartache, unable to respond to what his eyes were witnessing.

Complete nude, without any scrap of clothing on her body, laying on the bed with her legs spread wide, was Kahlan. On top of her, in the mid-thrust, one hand gripping her hip and the other kneading her bare breast, was Dragen… the confessed man who was supposed to be dead. Dragen was looking up at them, his brow creasing in confusion. There was a suddenly yelp, and Kahlan shifted beneath him, her hips wiggling a bit as if she were encouraging him on. Her head turned and she saw Richard. Her eyes grew wide with horror and Richard's eyes began to water at tears, unable to read the true emotions that were running rampant over her beautiful porcelain face.

"Our apologies, Mother Confessor," Burren spoke up, his voice raising a pitch in embarrassment, keeping his eyes averted. "We were unaware that you were… _occupied_."

After issuing some quick orders, Burren and the guards made to leave, pulling Richard with them. Richard fought against them, rage at seeing her betray him again seizing control of his faculties. The look of horror on her face was obviously one of being found out. Spirits, what a fool he had been, believing her when she told him she had felt nothing for Dragen and that it had hurt every time she had been with him. All the time she was playing him for a fool, letting him think that she loved him. What if she was just using him to conceive a child with Rahl blood, giving the confessor's a claim to the throne of D'Hara!

It all started to make sense now. The aloofness and withdrawn behavior she had begun to exhibit, her refusal of his offers to pleasure her with his fingers and tongue. All the while, when she moaned in ecstasy when he had touched her down there, she was thinking of Dragen. Spirits, he could not believe what a complete fool he had been! Zedd had been right all along… Kahlan and him could never be.

When she had taken Dragen as a mate, she might not at liked it at first, but she had obviously had a changed of heart. It was so painfully obvious. Kahlan had been with Dragen more times that she had been with Richard, and she liked it. She liked Dragen more than she liked him. From the tears stains on her cheeks, he could tell that the confessed man had made her scream in ecstasy. She had never screamed like that for him, never for Richard.

And like the ignorant woods guide he was, he had believed her, every word. And for what? The moment they returned to Aydindril, she went running back to the Confessor's Palace, issued orders for his arrest, and then spread her legs for her confessed mate.

Trying to tackle him, the guards grabbed at him, pulling at his shirt and vest to yank him back as he seethed with rage. Richard threw back his head and let loose with a roar of a deep, violent, uncontrollable anger. The fury that dwelt inside of him, always hidden beneath the surface, had been ignited by the final straw of betrayal. The furnace was stoked and the inferno set ablaze. And what made it all the worse, was that once it became clear to Dragen that the guards were set on departing from the chambers, he began moving over her once again… and… and she was responding!

As he struggled against the guards, his broken heart set on vengeance, Richard glared across at her tear stained face. And then he stopped and really truly looked at her. The tears he saw streaming done her face were not those of blissful nirvana from welcomed lovemaking, but the tears of fear, agony, and despair. Her eyes were filled with pain and hurt and anguish, misery her constant companion. Looking at her now, Richard finally recognized her movements as ones of resistance instead of reciprocation.

Her lips trembled and parted. "Ric—Rich—RICHARD!" she wail his name, her voice pleading for help.

In an split second, Richard was struck with both guilt and shame for believing that Kahlan, the woman he loved more than life itself, would willingly betray him after everything they had been through together. He felt terrible for believing such a life, and in that second, realized that that was what the Sisters of the Dark had wanted. They had wanted him to believe Kahlan had betrayed him. He vividly remembered the nightmare he had of him killing Kahlan, and knew now that that nightmare had been a warning of the evil plan the Sisters of the Dark were trying to set in motion.

Kahlan was a victim, not a willing participant in what was happening. He suddenly remembered the two maidservant and his mind quickly made the connection. They were no mere maidservants… they were Sisters of the Dark. He now recognized their faces as those belonging to Sisters Merissa and Marianna, cohorts of Sister Nicci.

Now the fury building up inside of him was a righteous one. The woman he loved was literally being raped before his eyes. His whole body trembled as he felt a sudden power swell up in his chest that, thanks to his training at the Palace of the Prophets, he recognized as his Han. Tensing his shoulders, Richard threw his arms apart and released his Han.

A blinding light exuded out from him, sending the guards, who had been trying to restrain him, flying into the air. There was a loud metallic crack and the manacles locked around his wrists and ankles snapped off. Heaving in the righteous rage, Richard grabbed Burren, lucid enough not to kill the man, knowing this was not the captain's fault, and grabbed the hilt of the Sword of Truth attached to the man's belt. Pulling the steel clear of its scabbard, Richard knocked Burren aside, welcoming the waves of righteous fury that flowed into his being from his constant companion, and advanced on the bed.

Kahlan was screaming for him and he was not going to let her down. He launched himself into the air and tackled Dragen, pulling the man away from _his_ Confessor. Kahlan belonged to him and no one else. He had preformed the ancient ritual of the first wizards and it—as had the spirits—deemed them bonded souls in the rite of the Soul Fusion spell. Kahlan Amnell was his wife, and he was going to be the Bringer of Death to anyone who assaulted or violated her in mind or body.

Being confessed, Dragen was not of sound mind, and assumed that Richard was changing the bed with a raised sword to attack his mistress. So, when Richard collided with him, he fought back with the vengeance of a confessed man determined to defend his mistress to his dying breath. Kahlan shivered and whimpered, pulling away as the two men rolled off the bed.

Swinging his fist, Dragen made contact with Richard's jaw. But the Seeker was in such a rage induced frenzy that he did not feel the impact. Head butting the confessed man, Richard sent him tumbling to the floor, where he pounced on him. Raising the flashing steel of the Sword of Truth, its blade glowing white with the Seeker's fury, Richard drove it into the man's chest.

The confessed man let out a bloodcurdling cry, his eyes bulging out of his head, as his mouth began to fill with blood. Richard sneered and twisted the sword, digging it deeper into the man's chest. With one last spasm, Dragen made a gurgling gasp and then collapsed. Standing up by the confessed man's side, Richard was not going to take any more chances. He pulled the glowing sword out and in one swift motion severed Dragen's head from his torso.

Holding the bloody steel up before him, Richard gritted his teeth and hissed through his nose, seething with all the fury that permeated his body.


	62. Vengeance

**Chapter 62 – Vengeance**

"Richard?" her whimpering cry for him snapped him back from the abyss of rage. The white glow of the Sword of Truth diminished until all that was left was the brilliance of the steel smeared with blood.

Turning, Richard dropped the sword and climbed up onto the bed to pull her trembling body into his arms. Kahlan buried her head into his chest, crying like she had never cried before. The Aydindril guards slowly stood, shaking their heads, all appearing utterly baffled and confused. Kahlan clawed at his shirt, clinging to him like he was a figment of her imagination.

"It's over, Kahlan… I've got you… I've got you," he murmured into her ear as he tenderly rubbed her back, feeling her shiver.

"I… I tried to stop it…," she trembled, her voice filled with terror and pain. "But… that Sister of the Dark… she put some spell on me, making… making it impossible for me to speak… or… or move. I… I've failed you."

"Shh," Richard soothed her, caressing the back of her head, his fingers combing her hair, as, at the same time, he tighten his grip on her. "It's not your fault, Kahlan. I… I don't blame you. You did not betray me. I could see your eyes, Kahlan. You… you were being raped."

Kahlan let out a shuddering cry and dug her head deeper into his shoulder, sobbing loudly. Then, suddenly, she pushed back and looked up at him, her eyes wide with terror, no longer focused on her own misery and pain.

"Ashley! Sanya!" she cried out the names of their daughters.

Richard's brow creased in confusion and then worry. "What?" he asked, willing to do whatever Kahlan asked of him, for she was his shining light in a world of darkness.

"She… she said they would kill them if their plan failed!" Kahlan wailed.

Clutching her arms for a moment, Richard was too stunned to react. Having come to the realization of what Sister Nicci's plan was, Richard knew that Kahlan was right, that it had failed. Instead of the Seeker going into a rage and killing the woman he loved, he had seen through the deception and saved her. However, he was still overwhelmed with the scene he had seen when he had entered the room. He shuddered, trying to burn the images from his mind, but it seemed impossible. If… if Kahlan had actually been a willing participant and had been enjoying Dragen's ministrations… spirits, he could not even think about what he might have done. Sister Nicci's plan would have indeed prevailed if he had not been able to see through the lies that had been planted in his mind.

"Richard…!" Kahlan's voice called him back.

He blinked and looked down into her terrified eyes. Quickly wrapping the blankets around her shivering frame, and kissing her brow to assure her that he did not blame her for what had been happening when he had entered the bedchambers. Before he could move away, Kahlan grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him back, ramming her lips against his. It was a fierce and impassioned kiss that was meant as both encouragement and a reminder that he was the only man she ever wanted. Closing his eyes, Richard told himself that none of this was her fault. She had just been raped and was still shaken from the experience. He wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss, affectionately rubbing her bare arms.

Pulling back, he gazed into her puffy eyes. "I will return to you, my Kahlan," he whispered softly, then planted a soft kiss on her lips. Richard smiled weakly, feeling her respond to his touch. Backing away, he wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Kahlan breathed out, still in shock at what had happened to her, but aware enough to respond to him. After giving her one more kiss, relishing how she eased into him when he pressed his lips against hers, Richard slipped off the bed and retrieved the Sword of Truth.

Turning to the Aydindril soldiers, he raised the sword and gestured to Kahlan. "Stay and protect her with your life!" he shouted at them. Each one, Captain Burren included, looked stunned and shocked, but nonetheless, they inclined their heads, affirming that they would obey his commands.

Casting one last look at Kahlan, concern and worry filling his eyes, Richard saw her nod her encouragement, urging him to go and save their daughters. _Their _daughters… he thought that was slightly amusing. There was no hesitation when he thought that, none whatsoever. Both Ashley and Sanya would always be his… and no one would tell him otherwise.

Darting out of the room, Richard went running down the halls, not knowing where he was going. He took in deep breaths, trying to calm his raging mind. The images of Dragen moving over Kahlan still kept threatening to take his sanity from him. But he knew Kahlan and her heart. She would never willingly lay with another, especially now that they had found out that they could be together. Stilling his mind, remembering how Kahlan kissed him, how full of love and desire it was, Richard used what Sister Verna had taught him at the Palace of the Prophets, to call up his Han, asking it to guide him.

Either it was his abilities as the Seeker or his Han, Richard could never tell which, he followed an invisible trail down the hallways until he found himself standing before a slightly ajar door, candlelight filtering out into the dim hall. Narrowing his eyes and squaring his shoulders, Richard went plowing through the door, knocking it off its hinges.

Immediately his ears were assaulted by the wails of his daughters. His eyes adjusted and at once landed on the two wailing babes, each in a twin crib. Standing just above them, holding a dacra in each hand, poised to strike either one, was Sister Nicci. A cruel smile stretched onto her lips as her eyes took in the sight of him.

"I see you've found out the truth about your Confessor," she sneered, taunting. "You never would have imagined she was such a slut, would you?"

"I know the truth, Sister Nicci!" Richard hissed through gritted teeth. "And it's much different than you are making it seem. You cast a spell on Kahlan to make it impossible for her to speak or move. And somehow, I don't know how, you convinced Dragen that she wanted him to…," he couldn't finish the sentence as the horrible images of what he had seen flashed through his mind.

Nicci laughed. "Oh, how I wish I could have seen your face when you stumbled upon the two of them, hips locked in the embrace of passionate lovemaking," she smirked.

"That was not lovemaking, Nicci, and you know it," Richard growled. "What was your plan? To make me go into a rage and kill Kahlan, the only woman I have ever loved?"

Nicci scowled at him. "That was exactly my plan, Seeker! If you had done as you were supposed to do, the Keeper would have finally been able to conquer the world of the living unchallenged," she let out a frustrated breath. "But seeing how the carefully laid out plans I conceived did not work, I am going to have to improvise."

"Improvise?"

"Yes," Nicci smiled wickedly. "Sacrificing a confessor is a must, and since you won't kill the Mother Confessor," she looked down at Ashley and Sanya. "One of these will have to do… but I only need one." She paused and looked back up at him, meeting his gaze. "You can only save one, Seeker. Which one will it be, I wonder?" She turned her head towards Ashley. "Surely not this one, you just killed her father, no doubt. And she'll be a constant reminder of everything that that whore of a confessor has done to you."

The Sister of the Dark retracted her dacra and shook her head. "But then this one," she turned to Sanya. "She's more precious, being a child of a confessor and one of the Rahl bloodline. Perhaps she will be a more worthy sacrifice for the Keeper." Nicci smiled and looked up at him. "Let us find out which one you will save, Seeker. I'm betting it's this dark haired one with the pretty big brown eyes."

"Neither Ashley or Sanya are going to die!" Richard shouted firmly. "I'm going to save them both."

Nicci threw back her head and laughed. "I'd like to see you try, Seeker! I really would!" The Sister of the Dark raised her arms simultaneously and locked eyes with him. "Save one… condemn the other!"

Richard watched as her arms began to move down, ready to strike at his daughters. His heart went a mile a minute as he tried to think of a solution to this problem. He would not sacrifice one for the other. If blood or familial ties were of no concern, they were still two innocent babes being threatened by a madwoman. His chest heaved as his mind raced to find a way to save them both. And then, just as it had before, he felt a surge of power in his chest. He clenched his jaw tight and closed his eyes.

When his eyes opened, he let out a gasp. Everything had become still. Richard blinked and looked around, seeing dust hovering in the air, the particles glistening in the candlelight. Nicci was frozen in mid-motion; her striking blows halfway there. Confusion took him for a moment, before he realized that his own heart was still beating like a jackrabbit. It was like the rest of the world had slowed to a crawl, yet he had not. Quickly, before anything could change, Richard leveled the now glowing sword in his hand and charged Nicci.

XXX

Time snapped back to normal and Nicci let out a horrible cry of agony. The Sword of Truth was thrust up to the hilt through her breast, blood trickling down her robes, making the red silk turn dark. Stunned, she looked up into the warm brown eyes of the Seeker of Truth, the Lord Rahl… the Bringer of Death… Richard Cypher. He looked at her with a mixture of sadness and pity, before pulling the sword back in a flourish and sliding it between his belt and waistband, since he did not have the scabbard. She cocked her head slightly, thinking how odd it seemed for him not to have the scabbard when he had the sword. The Seeker's eyebrows came together as his gaze turned to one of sympathy.

Why? Why would he even feel sorry for her? She had lived the life she wanted. She had served the Keeper faithfully for so many years… but what had that gotten her? Here she stood, the most powerful sorceress ever, and she was dying.

"I—im—impossible…," she stammered before she collapsed to her knees and fell backwards, her dacras falling uselessly to the floor along with her.

The metal clanged on the ground, sounding as hollow and empty as she was. Nicci could feel herself drifting away. The edges of her vision where becoming blurry. Part of her could not believe it was going to end this way. How could she, Sister Nicci, die in such a fashion… killed by a woods guide, no less. It sickened her that in her last moments he was showing pity for her. It was as if he had forgotten what she had done, what she had wrought on his precious little life. Damn it, she had arranged for his wife to be raped, and here he was taking pity on her!

Coughing up blood, Nicci shivered, feeling cold, her life force seeping away from her and pooling on the stone floor around her. She blinked, her vision growing dim, and watched through fogged eyes as the Seeker moved above her, slowly picking up both of the wailing infants and cradling them in his arms. He looked down at her again and shook his head.

"Save one… condemn the other? Huh?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "Well, it appears I saved them both, but I could never save you, could I? So I guess you were right, Nicci… one was condemned, but it was not one of my daughters. It was you. You condemned yourself to this fate the second you pledged your loyalty to the Keeper." He paused and his voice turned kind and sympathetic, as if he had read her life's story and knew how painful and traumatic her childhood had been. "Find your peace, Nicci… if you can."

He turned and left, leaving her alone to feel the cool icy fingertips of the Keeper grasping for her. Nicci let out a breath, and the blackness came.


	63. Unintended Consequences

*Whoa! 300+ reviews. I cannot thank you guys enough. Here we go with the penultimate chapter, but don't worry, _promises_ will be kept. Hint. Hint. =)

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**Chapter 63 – Unintended Consequences**

A cold sweat beaded her forehead, making her shiver when she woke. Curling up, hugging her legs to her chest, Kahlan wept softly. It had been over two weeks since the events of their return to Aydindril, yet Kahlan still woke in the dead of night from terrifying nightmares of Dragen moving over her, his hands touching her in all the places that should only ever be touched by Richard. She quivered as a cool breeze drifted through the opened balcony doors. Climbing out of the bed, Kahlan reached over and grabbed her robe, pulling it over her shoulders, as she walked out onto the open terrace to look up at the bright moon and the shining stars.

After a day or two, she had pulled herself together long enough to seize control of the council and repair the damage that had been done under the Sisters of the Dark. She revoked the curfew and restored normalcy, whatever that was. She issued warrants for the arrests of the three Sisters that had escaped from the city and repealed all the laws that Sister Nicci had the council implement. Kahlan had found it difficult to sit through the council meetings. She could not stand looking at the councilors, who—days before—had been so adamant that Richard had been using her only to conceive a child that would give him a legal claim to the Midlands as the Lord Rahl. So, with Zedd freed and restored to his position as First Wizard, Kahlan left the governing of Aydindril and the Midlands to him and the new positions of dual executives that she had installed.

It had been something she had been thinking about ever since she had returned to Aydindril the second time, when Richard had gone off with Sister Verna to the Palace of the Prophets, and she and Jennsen had stayed behind while the others went out to bring him back. This idea of two executives was meant to prevent a single councilor from seizing complete control of the council. She had thought it was a good way to keep power in check. The term for each consul would be two years, with elections at the end of each term to either re-elect the consuls or elect new consuls. Kahlan nominated Captain Stephen Kandon for one of the positions, and allowed the council to nominate someone else for the other opened position.

After her work with the council was complete, Kahlan retreated to her bedchambers, and stayed there for most of the days that followed. She had the staff burn the mattress and the sheets of her big bed, replacing them with new ones. It had been something she had done the last time she returned to Aydindril, when she had been carrying Richard's child and did not want to sleep in a bed where she had slept with Dragen. Now, the new mattress had been defiled and tainted by that again, yet it had been worse, because not only had she been with Dragen again, it had been against her will. Kahlan had cried when she watched the mattress burn from the balcony, letting all the pain and anguish she had felt after she had been violated break through to the surface.

That night, as the mattress burned outside, Kahlan took a bath and shaved herself down there. She took a sponge and scrubbed herself something fierce. Despite the fact that she had been raped, Kahlan still felt dirty and ashamed, as if it had been her fault. The maidservants and attendants tried their best to calm her whenever she had a breakdown, but they could do little to help. The only person who could calm her was Richard, and she had been keeping him at arms length, afraid of having him see her in her current state.

The day her moon blood came should have been the happiest in her life, but she felt nothing but sadness. She spent the rest of the day immersed in the tub, letting the warm water seep around her, as she continued her ritual of shaving the hair between her legs and scrubbing so hard that she bled. The attendants told her that the Seeker was worried about her, and wanted to see her, but she told them that she wanted to be left alone.

The only people she would admit to her chambers were Darla and Jennsen, and that was mainly because they were the ones caring for Ashley and Sanya as Kahlan wallowed in her own self-pity. They would bring her daughters to her everyday so that she could feed them. It was the only thing that brought her any comfort. However, sometimes, as she breastfed Sanya, she would breakdown and cry, seeing how much Sanya looked like the man who she should have been allowing to comfort her. When the old midwife and the pristinely ungifted came, Kahlan would ask about Richard, hoping that he was not taking her self-imposed seclusion too bad. When they informed her that he had been locked away in the Wizard's Keep with Zedd, Kahlan did not know what to think or how to feel.

Now, standing on the balcony, and looking up at the bright moon shining down on her, she wondered how he could even love her, when she only pushed him away after such a traumatic event. All Kahlan had wanted to do since they first returned to Aydindril was tackle Richard and "wrestle" with him in her big bed. But the fates had taken that possibility away from her. Yet Richard had saved her. He had been like an avenging spirit, swooping down from the heavens to save her and her daughters, and how had she rewarded him, by locking herself away and not accepting the comfort she knew he would give her.

Richard had a strength about him that he almost constantly emitted. And that strength was not necessarily physical, but emotional and spiritual, as well. He had a calming affect on her that no one else but her daughters had. There was no man quite like her Richard. He was like the sun that warmed her day, yet she refused to see him.

Pondering these thoughts, Kahlan turned and retreated back inside to her empty bed. The new mattress was comfortable, like sleeping on a cloud. And the sheets, for some reason, smelled like Richard. She dropped her robe onto the bedside chair and crawled under the covers, pulling one of the pillows down to clutch it to her breast as she curled up into a fetal position, thinking about all the decisions she had ever made and all the unintended consequences that had resulted from them. Taking slow and steady breaths, she closed her eyes, and willed the good spirits, to give her good dreams. But even as she did so, Kahlan knew that the nightmares would always return until she let her brave and fearless champion come to her and help her fend them off.

XXX

"You're far more patient than I would be in your position, my boy," Zedd spoke up from the scroll he was reading. "By the way, when is that Mord'Sith going to return with lunch!"

Richard raised his eyebrows and smirked, amused at how often his grandfather thought about food. "How do you stay so skinny when you are constantly stuffing your mouth full, Zedd?" he asked.

"Huh? What was that you said? I wasn't paying attention," Zedd pretended he had not heard Richard's question.

Mulling over how to respond to his grandfather, Richard was pulled from his thoughts when Cara came sauntering into the library with a tray of food piled high. "All right, wizard, I got you some bread, cheese, apples, some chicken, sausage, something that looks like gravy and mashed potatoes—but I can't be sure—and some cider wine from your private cellar below the house you own on Fendor Street but never seem to visit—well, in the daytime, anyways," she added under her breath.

"What? My private stash! How did you know about that?" hooted Zedd, his hazel eyes twinkling with mischief.

Cara rolled her eyes and placed the tray down in front of the wizard. "Next time you go sneaking out at night, you should look over your shoulder more often," she huffed, and then parked herself down next to the wizard to partake in some of the meal.

Richard stood up from his chair and stretched his back. He walked around the table that was stacked with books and scrolls, and wandered over to join them. Breaking apart some of the bread and nibbling on some cheese, Richard looked off at the shelves of books that surrounded them here in the library of the Wizard's Keep.

"So, have you two found what you've been looking for?" Cara asked, taking an aggressive bite out of a chicken leg.

"We most certainly have!" Zedd grinned, his chin dripping with gravy.

Cara looked at him with a bemused expression and gestured to her own chin to signal to him that he was making a mess. Zedd raised his bushy eyebrows and smiled wickedly, pulling out a napkin to clean his chin off.

"We've found a plethora of references to the Soul Fusion spell," the First Wizard informed the Mord'Sith. "And according to the Wizard…" he paused and pulled the scroll he had been reading up, "Jellico—funny name!—the Soul Fusion spell was, indeed, used as part of the marriage ceremony by the first ten generations of wizards."

"Well, why did they stop using it, then?" Cara question, asking more for conversation than any real interest.

"Apparently, those side effects I spoke of started having more and more of an impact," Zedd said, spooning up the mash potatoes with a slice of bread. He gobbled it up in a hurry, like an animal afraid he was being stalk by some predator and needed to eat as quickly as possible so that he could remain alert and ready for an attack.

"Yeah… you've spoken of them a lot," Cara narrowed her eyes, giving him a glare. "And when I say a lot… I mean _a lot_!"

Richard groaned and finally spoke up. "And he still has yet to tell me what exactly these side effects are."

Zedd stopped in the middle of taking a long draft of his cider wine and looked at him. "Sorry, my boy," he said. "Sometimes I forget you're not just a woods guide anymore."

"Tell me about it," Richard grumbled under his breath.

Thankfully, Zedd did not hear him, because the old wizard started to ramble on and on about the drastic and terrible consequences that could befall the Seeker and Mother Confessor if they did not find a way of countering the Soul Fusion spell before it faded away. Richard knew that Zedd was pushing so hard for this because he was worried that Richard and Kahlan would consummate their marriage, again, and both reach the climatic joys of release. But Richard found that doubtful, especially with Kahlan's self-imposed seclusion in her bedchambers. When they did finally consummate their marriage, Richard felt that the effects of the Soul Fusion spell would have faded by then.

"All right, enough with the warnings, I get it, dangers!" Richard hissed, feeling irritable. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, giving Zedd an apologetic look. The others had come to except his sudden outbursts of temper, knowing that he was frustrated over Kahlan's aloofness. Cara once offered him a romp in the hay, thinking that he just needed to screw someone, which only caused him to snap at her.

He rubbed his face with his hands and apologized, wishing Chase was still here. The forest warden had departed yesterday to go back to his family. Though, he had promised to return, Richard knew it would not be for a while. Most of his bad mood really stemmed from the fact that the woman he loved more than life itself would not let him comfort her. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and let her cry against his shoulder, but she would not have it, having some stubborn notion that he should not see her in that state.

The only time of the day that calmed him down was when he was with his daughters. Since Kahlan was locked away in her bedchambers, only seeing their daughters when they needed feeding, Richard spent most of his free time with them, playing and caring for them. He took some comfort in their presence and the way they each craved his attention.

Ashley and Sanya got along surprisingly well, and the former was even starting to crawl and talk. Richard had almost been reduced to tears of joy when he came back to them after a long day with Zedd in the Wizard's Keep, and Ashley had looked up at him, raised her tiny hands, and shouted, when he stepped through the door, in a high squeal, "Daddy!" He had crouched down and hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek and fuzzy blonde hair, which was finally starting to grow in length, as she grabbed at the pendant hanging from his neck. Sanya had watched all this with big curious eyes and had then let out a little cry, wanting attention too.

"I'm sorry, Richard," Zedd spoke up, pulling him from his thoughts of his daughters.

Richard smiled softly, remembering curling up in bed with those two girls sleeping with him, each one resting comfortably in either arm. "I know, Zedd, it's not your fault, but honestly, do you even know what these side effects are?"

Zedd knitted his bushy eyebrows together and furrowed his brow. "To be honest… no, I don't," he admitted. "All I know for sure is that the Soul Fusion spell lingers for a couple of weeks, maybe even over a month, before fading away with no more unexpected side effects."

Richard gave a nod. "What about now? Can you sense the spell on me?"

His grandfather stood, groaning about his aching bones, and shuffled around the table to stand over Richard. He raised his wrinkled hands over Richard's head and closed his eyes. Zedd's brow creased and his eyebrows lowered as he concentrated for the longest moment. When he opened his eyes, he shook his head.

"If it's there, I cannot sense it," Zedd said.

Richard took a deep breath. "Good," he said with a nod.

Cara smirked and snorted. "Is the Mother Confessor going to have a surprise visitor tonight?"

Richard narrowed his eyes and glared hard at the Mord'Sith, then broke into a wide grin. "That, Cara, is none of your business," he replied, trying to hold back his smile. "But, if you must know, I would have to guess that the Mother Confessor might, indeed, be pleasantly surprised this evening."

Zedd rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Young people," he grumbled, shuffling back over to his seat. "Sometimes I wonder how I remain sane."

Richard laughed, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in days. It had been far too long since he had felt Kahlan under him, far too long since they had truly made love. Tonight he was going to make Kahlan his all over again, and nothing was going to stop him. Not her fear, not her worry, and certainly not the silly notion that some spell might harm them if they made love and both reached release. And even if they could be in danger from some crazy side effects that even the powerful Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander knew nothing about, Richard would gladly risk it to be with Kahlan. She was his everything. He would sacrifice anything for her. Anything. And to the Keeper with the consequences!


	64. A Promise Kept

*I've put these two through so much hell in this story. Now it is time to reward them! That being said, this chapter is rated M. Thank you all for coming with me on this journey. It has been memorable, to say the least. However, it might not necessarily be over. There is a high probability of a sequel in the near future.

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**Chapter 64 – A Promise Kept**

Kahlan woke with a start. She had not been having a nightmare, but she had been asleep, and she had been sleeping peacefully, so she was a little annoyed about being wakened. She blinked, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, when suddenly she caught sight of a shadow looming over her. Shuddering in fear, remembering how the last time someone was looming over her it had been Dragen, Kahlan cried out and raised her hands to pound her fists against the intruder above her.

As her fist went flying out, a strong hand gripped her wrist and held her still. She squirmed and thrashed under the shadow's hold, crying, ready to scream for the guards, when suddenly she paused, recognizing the scent that had slowly been filling the air around her. Breathing in deeply, taking in the scent, Kahlan sighed and relaxed, letting the tension out of her body. The fear and terror evaporated as he released her wrist, letting her arm fall down to the mattress.

Kahlan silently watched as the shadow moved away, closing her eyes and flaring her nostrils, smelling him as his movements stirred the air. It had been too long since she had smelled this scent and she wanted to do nothing but bask in the brilliance of having it surround her. She heard the click of flint against stone and sparks lit up the room as he ignited a fire within the hearth. As the orange glow drifted across the room, Kahlan's eyes wandered around, coming to rest on two glorious brown orbs that gazed down at her.

"Richard…," she murmured his name, as he climbed up on the bed, and loomed over her.

Her breath caught in her throat when she noticed his chiseled bare chest. As he continued climbing up on the bed, Kahlan let her eyes slink further south, and a small smile formed on her lips when she saw the rest of him, immediately knowing why he had come to her. And… and he still desired her, even after what had happened, after she had been soiled and ruined.

"I… Richard… I'm so sorry—"

"Shh," he placed a finger on her lips and silenced her. His voice was like a calming wave that brought her peace. "You have nothing to apologize for, Kahlan. Nothing. Tonight is about us. We've waited so long… long enough. It is time for this union to truly be consummated in the way it was meant to be. And besides… I have a promise to keep, don't I?"

Kahlan's eyes fluttered with anticipation as she nodded, remembering the promise he had made to her in Ten Oaks; that he would do much more than hold and kiss her upon their return to Aydindril. Just his smooth voice was enough to cause her heart to beat more rapidly under her breast and her cheeks to flush with arousal. She looked up at her Richard, relishing the look of utter love and devotion that reflected back from his eyes. Spirits, she did not know why she had been keeping him at such a distance for so long. She needed him. She needed to feel him beside her, in her, with her. Richard was everything that she ever needed and she had been keeping him away, prolonging her suffering.

Her lower lip quivered and she bit it, chewing on it as she decided it was time to end her suffering and sacrifice herself to the blissful nirvana that would come from Richard's touch. Her brave and noble champion loomed over her, waiting for her permission to continue, his chest slowly rising up and down as he breathed, his finger remaining on her lips. Tentatively, Kahlan pushed her tongue out between her lips and licked his finger suggestively, pulling it into her mouth to suck on it. Richard watched as she wrapped her lips around his finger as she closed her eyes and tantalized him with her tongue.

As Richard pulled his finger away, Kahlan opened her eyes and looked up at him with big blue eyes, nodding her willingness for him to continue, for this to happen. Kahlan had not known how much she had needed this until the moment his finger had touched her lips. Spirits, she needed Richard to claim her again. She needed to feel his body against hers, feel him inside her, as he made her his, and wash away the vile taint of the other who had tried to claim her as his. Richard was the only man she had ever wanted to touch her and be in her, and now the time had come for their marriage to truly be consummated.

Richard pulled back and gazed down at her with his warm brown eyes. Kahlan shivered, feeling completely exposed and vulnerable under his gaze, almost paralyzed. But it was not a terrifying feeling. It was something she relished and enjoyed, watching as his eyes stared deeply into her as they shared a million conversations in the blink of an eye, each making up for lost time, apologizing, ready and willing to reconcile and simply be with one another.

Slowly, at first, his hands reached out and tangled in her hair, brushing it back to expose more of her delicate features. His fingertips traced her jaw, skimming over her pale skin, leaving a tingling sensation in their wake. It was almost as if he was touching her with magic, magic that made her whole body tingle with need and desire to become one with him.

Her breath started to come in ragged pants as his hands dropped from her face and slowly began to undo the strings lacing up the front of her nightgown. Chest heaving, cheeks flushing with arousal, Kahlan panted softly as he freed her breasts from the constraints of her nightgown. Chewing on her lower lip, she watched in rapt attention as his hands descended upon her soft creamy flesh, his touch eliciting a moan from her lips. Kahlan arched her back, pushing up into him as he lowered his head into her chest, running kisses down the crease between her breasts, his hands continuing to massage and tease her skin. Spirits, she loved the feel of his hands on her. Only he could call up such sensations in her body.

Kahlan had trouble concentrating as his mouth moved over her soft creamy flesh, blazing a trail of wet kisses across her breasts. Her lips trembled and she moaned his name, wondering why she had locked herself away when she could have been with him all this time, experiencing the peace and bliss he always brought her. Blinking, she watched as one of his hands drifted away from her breast to continue unfastening the rest of the laces that held her gown closed.

He raised his eyes and looked up at her, resting his chin between her breasts. His eyes sparkled with desire and love and Kahlan was again left breathless by the complete and utter devotion she saw in his eyes. It was true, even if she had wanted to confess him, she couldn't, because he was already completely hers, just as she was already completely his.

"You're absolutely correct, Kahlan," he smiled up at her, his eyes twinkling, as if he had read her mind.

"What?" she gasped, startled that she could find the air to speak.

Without answering her, Richard winked, and backed away, focusing on finishing unlacing her nightgown. Kahlan sucked in deep breaths, her eyes following him, as he undid the last string holding her nightgown together. Shifting over her, Richard's hand came down and ran across her collarbone, then drifted down to run between the crease of her breasts, as he slowly eased the front of her nightgown open, revealing ever inch of her creamy white flesh to him.

Chewing on her lower lip, Kahlan tried to control her panting breaths as she felt her skin burn at his touch, his fingertips dancing down her body to rub her legs and thighs. Before she could gain control, Richard was leaning over her, capturing her lips with his, and kissing her with such a longing and passion that she was left breathless. She squirmed beneath him, smiling into his mouth, as she felt his hand drift down towards her waist. He stopped just above her pelvis and tickled her bellybutton, making her giggle.

"There's my girl," he chuckled, backing away momentarily, only to descend back down on her, kissing her so deeply that Kahlan nearly fainted with glee.

He stopped tickling her and his fingers continued their journey, stopping when he reached smoothed skin where normally he would be met by a small forest of dark curly hair. Backing away slightly, Richard glanced down, his eyes needing to see what his fingers felt. Looking back at her, his brow furrowed.

"What… what happened down there, Kahlan?" he asked, his voice sounding a mix between confusion and amusement, as he took in her smooth skin and lack of any hair between her legs.

Kahlan averted her eyes from his gaze, not wanting to tell him what she had been subjecting herself to. She was slightly ashamed of the ritual punishment she had been putting herself through, but she had felt that she had to cleanse and purify herself of the taint and stain left by her defiler. Richard's other hand broke away from her breast and came up to lift her chin so that she was forced to look into his eyes.

"Kahlan?"

She shuddered and closed her eyes, a single teardrop escaping. His fingers wiped it away; his lips kissed away the heartache. "Oh, Richard…," she whimpered, ashamed.

"It's all right, Kahlan," Richard murmured softly, his moist breath tingling the small hairs on her skin. "I'm here for you… and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Opening her eyes and looking up at him, seeing that he was still there, she gave a hesitant nod. He caressed the side of her face with a tender and kind touch that only he seemed to have, and then he leaned down, taking her mouth in his as he kissed her, his lips slowly moving over hers as he continued to move his fingers down between her legs. Kahlan opened her mouth for him, allowing his tongue in. She savored the taste of him and brought her hands up to run her fingers through his unruly brown hair, loving how he only deepened the kiss when she touched him.

Finding her special place, Richard's fingers began to tease her and touch her in all the ways that only he seemed capable of. Kahlan gasped and rolled her eyes back in her head as the pleasure began to ripple through her body. His fingers played with her quivering flesh, stretching her folds and teasing her even more. Kahlan groaned and rolled her hips as she bit down on his lower lip as he continued to kiss her.

"Oh, Richard," she moaned, feeling her insides tingle and grow wet with the anticipation of feeling the man she loved inside her. "I want you, Richard… I want you!"

Backing away and resting his forehead against hers, he removed his hand from between her legs and skimmed his fingertips along her trembling flesh until he reached her breast. He did not squeeze her flesh or tease her, just flattened out his palm over her chest, smiling as he felt her heart quicken with pace at his touch.

"Richard?" she pleaded.

"Yes, my Kahlan," he purred, grabbing her mouth with his before she could respond. Kahlan closed her eyes and moaned into his mouth, feeling her heart flutter with all the feelings she had been missing out on for the past two weeks. His hand drifted down to cup her breast, his thumb teasing her nipple as he parted his lips, allowing her to explore the warmth of his mouth as he had explored hers.

As the kiss grew hotter and warmer, Kahlan trembled slightly, when his knee came between her legs and gently guided them apart. However, it was the tenderness and love of his hand on her chest that stilled her. Opening her eyes, she gazed up into his gaze, as he shifted over her, moving his hands, one holding her face to keep their eyes locked, as the other glided down her side to grip her hip, steadying her still slightly trembling body.

"I love you," he whispered into her mouth as he kissed her. Kahlan's mouth dropped as she felt him move forward, moving past the threshold and pushing up into her.

Her eyes rolled back into her head from the waves of pleasure that washed over her body as Richard moved over her, his mouth constantly sucking or kissing her mouth, neck, or shoulder. The euphoria that overcame her, made her feel useless, but Richard made no complaints as he moved back and forth over her. She managed to roll her hips with his and occasionally was able to buck up into him when he came down, bringing more trickles of ecstasy to ripple through her body, causing her to shudder as she let out gasps of euphoria.

Richard hovered over her, his hands tantalizing her body, as his lips danced across her skin, igniting all the burning passion and desire she had for him. When she reached orgasmic release, Kahlan would have sworn afterwards that the whole world had quaked from the magnitude of it. Richard was so deep within her at the time that her inner muscles squeezed him so tightly that he could do nothing but hold still while her body quivered and tingled with ecstasy.

Coming down from the bliss of her sexual climax, Kahlan was breathless, but not too exhausted that she could not enjoy the moments before Richard's whole body tensed, preparing for his own release. She ran her hands down his back and gripped his backside, digging her fingernails into his skin as she urged him to plunge as deep as possible. She shivered and her chest tightened as she felt him impact her core, causing her to gasp in instant pleasure as Richard released deep within her very depths. His hands grabbed her face and brushed away her tangled matted dark hair, the intensity of their lovemaking having made them both soaked in their own sweat, as he seized her lips with his and kissed her deeply, continuing to spill his seed within her.

Kahlan wiggled with delight and hugged on to him, kissing him back with all she had. Pulling out of their kiss, Richard looked down at her, his smile widening as he leaned back to take in all of her. Catching her breath, she gazed back at him, unblinkingly.

"You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, Kahlan," he told her, his voice husky and filled with animalistic desire to simply have her all over again.

Beaming, Kahlan relished the hungry look in his eyes. "Really?" she inquired, arching an eyebrow.

"Oh, yes, really and truly, my Kahlan," he purred, softly tickling the soft flesh between her neck and shoulder as he devoured it with light nibbles from his lips.

Kahlan squirmed and shivered in delight, feeling him stay hard within her. "Are… are you going to make love to me again?" she questioned through panting breaths. His mere touch had stimulated her so much that she was still very much wet and ready for more. Kahlan felt for sure that she would not be sated until they spent the rest of the night and most of the following morning simply making love.

Richard grinned against her neck and backed away, looking into her eyes. "Kahlan, I'd gladly spend my entire life making love to you if you commanded it," he murmured, then grabbed her lips with his, as he kissed her so passionately and fiercely that Kahlan almost forgot how to breathe.

"I love you, Richard," she gasped, backing away to suck in some air.

"And I love you, Kahlan," Richard replied, gripping her jaw in his hand and pulling her back to him. "Always."

Richard had kept his promise, the promise he had made in Ten Oaks, that he would do much more to her than simply hold and kiss her when they got back to Aydindril. He had saved her from the abyss of despair and misery, brought her back from the darkness and into the light. Kahlan could not help but smile with joy as her surprise visitor began to make love to her all over again, leaving her breathless and screaming for more.

**THE END**


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